Working for the MAN

[mitEj]

I was given a link to this site and decide that this may help me figure out where I went wrong. ( I work for a bank when I once lived for acting and improve. Damn you expenses)

I am still young and alive and I still go out and have fun, but there has been no acting or theater in my life for almost a year now. I still don't know how it happened, but I have decided to do my best to bring the beast down from the inside. That way I can at least look myself in the face in the mirror again.

I will also use this as a nice forum for me to be melodramatic once again mmmm! drama how I miss your bittersweet tang in my soul.

Well boys and girls and others here is to the downfall of the man and the redemption of at least a little of my soul.

Mike

 

[mitEj]

Converting the others

I have decided that the only way to free myself here is to convert the others to my way of thinking. You would be surprised or maybe even frightened (depends on how much money you have in banks) at how much most people working here hate this place and the job in general.

As I was driving away from this dank hole of capitalism last night I figured out exactly why I hate this place so much. Banks make their money from dreams, failed ones. The dreams that go on to make someone happy and let them express their inner joy, madness, inspiration don't make the bank very much money. And are therefore bad for the bank.

But if you have a dream of opening a small theater house the bank will happily offer you the chance (for a fee) and give you the money you need to get it off the ground. Then after it gets going they will offer you more money to improve things (for another fee), or if you are not doing so well they will charge you a greater and greater sum until you have to close. And then they will own your broken dream.

This capitalistic vampirism is horrific to watch let alone participate in. I don't even work in the loan-shark department and I feel dirty (I am a professional computer Geek for the bank).

So to help me bring down the beast from inside I will use the skills theater has given me and play to my audience until I can convert them to my way of thinking. I think it will be easy, each of them has a bit of geek in them though they try to hide or deny it.

One day soon I will bring the bank down. (Or at least the thought of it will keep me going until I can get the hell out of this place and into something that tarnishes the soul less. I wonder if the devil needs tech support??? )

Until I rant again


Mike

 

[mitEj]

saving a little of my "sanity"

Sanity may not be the right term for what I have but I have come up with a little way for me to keep what it is that I have.

I have decided to do some of the exercises my acting/improv teacher taught me in collage, while at work. The two I am going to try first are observing the way people walk and move, and then studying different accents ( lots of different ones at work ).

While none of this will help me bring down the jugernaught of corporate greed I work for, it will keep me from going insane in a bad way ( I am already insane in what I think is a good way, all people in theater are by the standards of society ) [ NOTE: the definition I am using for insane here is an inability to think like "normal" people so I am quote happy to be insane by that definition]

Some of the first observations I have made point to the female management and executives walking in a very masculine manner. This may have to do with trying to compensate and compete in a male dominated area, I don't know but it is very interesting to observe.

On a side not the first time we did this exercise in class I received an interesting reaction. Apparently I look like an overly exaggerated example of the male walk ( almost as bad as John Wayne) . This prompted my teacher to ask me if I was the first or second generation in my family to walk upright .

I have since adjusted my stride to a less brutelike stance.

Hopefully I will find more entertaining ways to use theater at work ( improv is great for meetings you are not prepared for BTW)

Once again dear friends I am off

Mike

 

[mitEj]

Getting misty eyed

I miss who I was. When I got to act I was poor as dirt and it never bothered me, sure I bithced about never being able to go to the movies or take my then girlfriend out to dinner, but those are really little things. Inside I was truly alive my creative juices got to flow and I felt free when I was in front of a group of people throwing out the things that popped into my twisted mind. (I once did a 3-min. monologue in Shakespearean style about cheese.).

What happened, was it worth it to have a steady income to be able to take the woman that I was in love with out to dinner until she dumped me anyway. How did I get sucked in, and more importantly how do I get out.

Normally I don't like to moan and bitch, or if I do I try to make it funny, but since I have come here and started remembering who I was and what was truly important to me I have caught my self getting misty eyed and sad.




Anyone who knows of an improv group in Cincinnati that is looking for even a part time member please let me know.


I think I am going to go to the bathroom and cry to and for myself now


My next post will be more upbeat I swear


Mike

 

[mitEj]

Back to the plan

They have made a grievous error. They have put me in charge of a large server migration for a department I hate. They also gave the new technician to me to "Show The ropes" to, I believe I will corrupt him instead.

For a start I will fill him with a sense of apathy that would make a Goth jealous then comes the contempt for those in authority ( made incredibly easy due to their incompetence). Then when he is truly disgusted and hateful in general ( around 1 or 2 PM tops) I will tell him my glorious plan for the fall of the bank.


I feel rejuvenated after a nice weekend of not being here. I also watched the new Austin Powers movie, and while I did not like it as much as the others I was inspired by Dr. Evil ( I do think work might start catching on if I shave my head and start cackling out an evil laugh every time they give me a new job though )

I have also decided that this job will give me plenty of creative material for humor in the future. Remember boys and girls just because the situation sucks for you does not mean that others will not find the humor in it later.

I realize that I am babbling in my delight at the thought of the evil and humor I can now perpetrate ( and blame on the new guy see I told you I was feeling evil)


Until later Mwaaa Mwaa Haaa haaa !


Mike

 

[mitEj]

Random weird thoughts

I may have a twisted way of thinking but this just
occurred to me

what if these whale beaching are the way of an
intelligent and peaceful ( relatively ) species
protesting the treatment that humans give them and the
ocean. ( again I admit that I am twisted in my
thinking )

or they could be whale cults led charismatic but
psychotic whale messiah's/leaders "come my sisters
and brothers will find the promised clean waters
inside the land fallow me to paradise" ( translated
from whale) This one had just occurred to me while
writing the first one and sounds even more demented
than the first theory. I think my mind may be slipping
further away from "NORMAL" I wonder where it's going
and if I will enjoy it when I get there ???

Oh here is the story that inspired the bizarre
thinking

http://www.msnbc.com/news/787104.asp

Or maybe they are trying to evolve into land based
species at really high speeds and haven't gotten it
right yet. ( kind of like birds getting thrown from
the nest a do or die sort of thing)

Mike

Ps.
for those of you offended by this I actually like whales a lot and consider them a very intelligent species ( what is plural of that) worth saving and trying communicate ( I also suspect they might be able to but don't want to communicate with us) . But my mind is weird and these thoughts still pop in from time to time

 

[mitEj]

What to do with my life

I have found a job that I think I would actually enjoy doing for a living. I will try to see if I can be Vin Diesel.

The problem is that I have no idea where you fill out an application or send in a resume. So if any of you know feel free to let me know.

On the front at the soul sucking hell pit I currently work at I have come to pity my boss. It turns out he was once a normal and relatively happy human (Well technician but that is close enough to human that most people don't notice the difference). He was a technician for a few years and Loved it, and then due to getting screwed by a merger and having a family to support he ended up at a bank (the above soul sucking pit I mentioned) and it all went down hill from there.

The poor bastard is now an A.V.P. and is stuck in meetings (the most evil of all work-related activities) all day long. He actually asked me if I was interested in a more managerial type position (believe it or not they seem to think this is where to send people who are good at their jobs to help the company). After I choked down the bile and horror at the thought of being in such a position. (Sure there would be more power to bring the MAN down but there are limits to what one can endure even for the cause)

I told him Hell no I love being a tech (which is true I just hate the people I have to do it for. hmmm if I can't be Vin Diesel maybe he needs a tech). He actually told me that he respects that decision and wanted to congratulate me for picking it over the other offer. That is when I realized that he was once like me but circumstance drove him into a job he hates to support those he loves. It is really kind of sad.

I have just now decided that when I bring the man down and crush the system from within, I will try to spare him of as much of it as I can (I think I can get it pegged to one of the guys who likes management, psychotic bastards)


Off I go to implement a new crappy server that was put together from the parts in the garbage can. Yea!!! I am going to be stuck her until after 2 in the morning. (I think I will slip hallucinogenic drugs into the VPs pizza tonight during the migration "No those mushrooms came on the pizza." " I agree they smell a little funny but they taste fine." " No. I don't see those little elves beating on the server with hammers but if you want I can have it arranged. " Ahh the fun I could have if only I had less morals)


Until later one and all


Mike

 

[mitEj]

saving myself

I think I have come up with an idea that might just keep me from going insane(er) in a bad way.

My friend and I were sitting at the club on Monday talking about how much we hate our jobs and want to get new ones. Then I pointed out that we would hate those too. So we stood there trying to think of something we could do and not hate it.


I came up with something, I hope.
I said wouldn't it be great if we could do this for a living and he said what go to the club.

M "yes why not?"

AA "Well I don't want to have to clean up after close and we would have to come up during nights were they play crappy music. "

M " No not work for the club but do the things we like doing for a living. Be us for money basically. "


That is what started the whole thinking process and I think we actually came up with something. I am not going to go into it too deeply (I like you guys but you might like what I came up with for yourself as well and I don't need the competition yet)


But what it boils down to is Aaron and I are going to try to find a way to do what we love doing (being fairly bizarre guys to be honest). Share it with the rest of the world and get paid for it.


Wish me luck, I have come to the realization that it will be this, or mundanity in corporate America (NOOOOOOO!!!!!), the nut house (mmm nuts), or homelessness. None of the other options appeal to me.

I will let you all know more when we get closer to either doing it or giving up.



Think good thoughts my way


Mike


Ps
Looking at this post I realize that it rambles a lot but I am actually excited about something again. It has been a while and I feel this place actually helped me get into the right mindset to come up with this.
Thanks for being here for me everyone even though I am certain I bug some of you. ( Thhppppbbbt! to those of you who don't like me )

 

[mitEj]

Its been a while

I haven't posted anything in a while so I thought I would torture you guys with some poetry I wrote a few weeks ago. ( I hope none of you bleed from they eyes due to poor quality of my poetry )


Michael’s Lament

I cry for you oh my brother
In the darkness you cower blood soaking your flesh
At my hands you have fallen oh my brother, most beloved one, first and brightest

Only for our father could I have fought you ,
only to save that which you and I brought forth at his behest
for all time will I cry for you as I stand guard over chaos
for our father you brought forth light
for our father I banished chaos
for our father I struck down what I love the most

I cry for you oh my brother
The blood on your flesh is not your blood
The wounds on you body are not you wounds
They are the blood of my heart
And the scars on my spirit

I cry not for you oh my brother
The tears are instead for me


Until we stand together at the end my brother I am alone against the void





On a non poetic note I figured out exactly how much money I have to live off of based off of what they pay me here compared to my bills. I will not bore you with exact numbers but I think I might be able to survive with a little more leeway as a homeless insane person yelling at people from the street-corners. I am looking into the benefits package that, that would offer ( besides the weekly beatings which I have to pay for now [just kidding I get smacked around for free] )

Based on this wonderful revelation I am now up to 3 jobs. Working for the devil ( the bank ) . Working as a weekend manager at a local bookstore I like to frequent. And finally, Bouncing at a club in Dayton OH ( 1470’s it’s a pretty fun club for being in OH)


Well I will be sure to bug you all again later

Mike J

 

[mitEj]

success but at what price

Well I have somewhat succeeded in my original plan on bringing down my small part of the company. I currently have all but one of the guys I work with ready to walk out of the department or the door at just the slightest provocation.

But the price for my success may be too great for me to bear. I have been stuck in this corporate hell now for far too long, and I despair of ever being free.

I feel a numbing dread in the morning that I fear may be a bit more of my creative soul dying at the thought of going into the pit for another day of wracking torture. I have found that I drink more now and that I get depressed easier. ( hell I am even writing poetry again, always a bad sign for my mental well being).

I may have won but at the same time I know I have lost too much to bear thinking on. If I can find a way out I am taking it. I don't care about the money, I don't care if my life might be a little harder. I just can't take this hell any more.

Wish me luck boys and girls because if something doesn't change soon I am going to snap and go to the bad part of crazy.

Mike J

Soon they will all fall to the pervasive nature of my sloth.

 

[mitEj]

intersting observations on this forum

I have just read through some of my earlier posts. This has brought me to a realization these things are great to vent to but if you go back and read your own stuff you may end up in an incredible funk.

The typos alone are enough to make me feel bad ( Makes me think if my horrible typing and inaccurate choices in spell check will distort my message, or if it matters to anyone anyway )

But reading the material shows me in a rapid pace how this place has affected me over the past few months. I have the feeling that if this was done by anyone else I would be tempted to either mock them or send them a consoling e-mail. (NOTE: feel free to do either of these things either way I should hopefully find some entertainment in any e-mails)

I have no idea how to get out of here in the normal way so I am going to try to use my creative urge in a positive manner ( I just started working on a novel) and maybe find a way to live being myself and being free.

If that doesn't work I am seriously looking into being a garbage man for a while, while looking for something else ( Do you have any idea how much money those guys make ? From what I have heard it is quite a lot )

anyway I just felt the need to babble a little and I do feel a little bad for any of you stuck reading this.


Next post I think I will try for a little comedy.


we will see


Mike J

 

[mitEj]

Good News

I talked to my birth mother for the first time just this week. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. I had so many questions for her but the main thing I found out that you guys might be interested in is ... I was conceived while she was working on a show with my birth father. You can’t have more theater in your blood than that . This may also explain some of my weirdness both of my parents like to do theater I never stood a chance at being normal.

She told me that she was in the middle of a long divorce and that she had an affair ( is it really an affair if the marriage was over for a few years ?) with my father who she met while doing some musical theater in Ky.

Talking to her has been a bright spot in my life and I think I will focus on that for a little while I need the break from the unrelenting hell that work has made of my life, so this will be it for a while.

I am hoping to meet her face to face sometime soon. If that happens I will let you guys know how it goes.


Mike
Ps
As far as hellish work goes does anyone know of any open IT jobs ?? I need to quit this one

 

[mitEj]

Actualy happy

I know this might seem out of my recent character but I am incredibly happy right now ( even while at the job in hell )

two reasons

the first is incredibly geeky but what can I say I am an incredible geek

I am seeing the Lord Of The Rings Two Towers tonight at 12:01 am, and I have a date for the show


The 2nd and more important thing is the young lady I have the date with. I have been dating a lot recently but this feels different, I don't know why or how but I like it and just thinking about her fills me with bubbling joy ( Not a sensation I am used to ). Her name is Donna and I am smitten.

I just thought I would share with anyone who has read this far and thought I was just a whiney bitch. I can be upbeat just usually not while at work.

Wish me luck everyone

Mike J

 

[mitEj]

hopefully to be free soon

I was out at the warehouse ( a club in Cincinnati) on Friday and ran into a friend form one of my old jobs. He told me that the company he works for is looking for computer help and that they offer good pay and a great atmosphere. He then says he thinks I would be perfect for the job .

This is some of the best news I have had in a long time. If this pans out I will be able to happily walk up to my boss and tell him I quit. ( I can see the look of panic in his eyes as he realizes he will have to do all of the crap he piles on me. )

Anyway I am really hoping to get out of here soon. That would pretty much make my year for me.

I will let you all know if I get the job and then what the boss's reaction was when I quit.

Wish me good luck

Mike J