why is everybody on the subway coughing on me

[ego amigo]

and how do you fight off this rampant disease?

 

[Lord Hatsumi]

only breathe through your nose and carry a hand sanitizer with you. Use it as soon as you get off.

 

[HairballofDoom]

Zicam for when you're sick, Airborn for when everyone else is, and Pepsi Twist every day.

 

[SixSider]

Maple syrup influensa. Tie do strings to a waffle and wear it as a face mask.

 

[K-W]

You'd have to start wearing a mask if the coughing really bothers you. Airborn doesn't work. Certainly washing your hands etc is a must, but pathogens transported through the air won't be effected by that. Get your flu shots, eat healthy, sleep well.

 

[Eugenegue]

You can get a box of 50 for $12. I don't think they actually help that much (especially if you keep it on for over an hour), but they'll at least keep everyone at a distance from you.

 

[Lord Hatsumi]

Dress like a homeless person and stink really bad.

 

[EthanK]

Embrace it and put your body's immune system through its paces! Every day that you're not sick is like, "YEAH, body! Fight that shit! I'm fucking crescent fresh!"

 

[ego amigo]

i am pretty creepy about how much hand sanitizer i use these days. i squirt it on other people without their consent. i wash my hands more than needed. i wipe down my desk at least once a day. sadly i cannot wipe down MY FACE after YOU COUGH ON IT.

or the estimate my sick office mate left on my desk for me yesterday. should i burn them?

 

[Eugenegue]

Burning your sick office mates is a terrible idea! Do you know how many germs are in prisons?!?

 

[Will Choy]

But hand sanitizer will just lead to SUPER GERMS.

 

[Ute Giddeon]

...which will lead to better hand sanitizer.

 

[EthanK]

...which will lead to better hand sanitizer.

Which will lead to Batgerms.

 

[Chaz]

Which will lead to Batgerms.

Which will in turn lead to Ballgerms. And that is just gross.

 

[Maddy]

Wash your hands!

Keep your nose moist with Saline. Don't touch your own face, especially your eyes.

 

[Resnik]

Carry a spray bottle full of urine. Whenever someone sneezes or coughs on you, scream "RAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPE!" and spray the person in the face. Then, at the next stop, run out and get in an adjacent car.

Repeat as necessary.

(it works for me)

 

[mike short]

Which will lead to Batgerms.

What about escalation? Now, take this germ: armed robbery, double homicide, really bad cough. Got a taste for theatrical, like you. Leaves a calling card. Calls himself the Jokergerm.