We're going streaking!! C'mon Snoop! Snoop-a-loop!

[hankthetank]

That to me is one of the greatest movie lines ever uttered on fillm. Pathetic isn't it?

I just found this site the same way most of you found this site through Ali's journal I found it both funny and sad. Sad because I could be, mightbe, probably am one of those dirtbags. I don't know if I would be renting up to six videos per day but maybe one or two per week. The sad thing is that I have an extremely attractive wife and I love her dearly. She just doesn't do it for me all of the time in the bedroom.

I started seeing a psychologist last month and I don't know if he can figure me out anymore than I can. The thing that pisses me off about him is that he just sits there and listens to me. I ask him how to fix things and he asks me what I think. What I think? I think I am fucking nuts and seriously a danger to myself. Why the hell else would I be there. Aren't doctors supposed to make you better?

The shitty thing is my problem seems to be the thing that I like the most SEX! If I am not having sex, I am thinking of sex, or how I am going to get sex the next time I need it. Yeah I am married but the sex isn't there like I thought it would be. Since I got married I have gone to call girls, and "massage parlors" It is just too fucking weird for me.

Anyway I thought I might start a journal here maybe some of you can help me out with my problems?

I am your typical guy I like funny movies, as well as shoot'em up action movies. I actually went to Tomb Raider 2 and enjoyed the movie not just because Angelina Jolie is hot! Money is a big issue with me if I have I spend it thus I rarely have it. My parents suck since they are always calling me and wanting me to do stuff for them. If I don't then they give me a huge guilt trip. Now even my brother is trying this tactic. Sometimes I wish they would all just go away. Anyway got to get back to work maybe my next entry will be a little more exciting. Later!

 

[hankthetank]

So I go to my psychologist on Thursday and this really gets on my nerves he listens and listens and listens, but he never gives me any advice or helps me figure out any of the stuff that is going through my head! Argh! That is the most frustrating part, I mean what the hell am I paying this guy for?

So anyway I go to this wedding this weekend and it was a pretty good time I got to see all of my old friends and quite a few people I haven't seen in a while. One of my friends brougth ehr borfriend as her date and still ended up screwing the waiter at the reception she is such a slut! I always knew she was freaky but not that freaky. Shit I ended up finding out that she had hooked up with a groomsmen she had never met before in the bathroom at another wedding for one of my friends in Mississippi. Knew the guy less than a day and hooked up in the bathroom damn! Why did none of that stuff happen to me when I was single?

So another one of my frineds we'll call her Jen calls me the other day and starts complaining about her and her boyfriend never have sex. She says that he is never in the mood. Now Jen is hotter than the sun in my opinion and if I was dating her I would never even give her the chance to get out of bed let alone turn down sex if she was offering it?? Jen tells me about how she shows up his place in nothing but a trench coat and high heels he opens the door she opens her jacket he looks at ehr and says he has a stomach ache? I would be aching but not in the stomach if she did that for me! I (jokingly) offered to help her with her sexual frustration, and at first she was all for it then got luke warm then cold, I am pretty sure she was just teasing me but I wish she wouldn't do that cause now all I can think about is her and me?

Hell my wife is hotter than she is why can't I feel this way about her? My psychologist did help me with this one he explained that I wouldn't let myself be happy because my dad would never let me be happy and he always cheated on my mom so I feel I have to cheat on my wife. But I really don't want to I hate the way I feel after I do anything that may even be considered cheating. If anybody has any advice it is more than welcome.

 

[hankthetank]

Bletch!!

I hate my job so much all I do all day is sit and wait for customers to come in. I have a nice office and can see the lot but it is so freakin boring! Half the time I am talking with co workers who are jst as bored as I am and the other half of the time I am on the internet. It isn't so bad when I am busy but the start of the month is always slow! I just wish I could learn to be happy withwhat I am doing. Whatever I do I always seem to be unhappy.

So my friend Dave calls the other day to see how I am doing and then tells me his "girl"friend has skin cancer. I really don't care it just seems their life is always like a soap opera. The reason I put girl is "'s is that she really isn't a girl. Dave is 25 and she 33. She has been married twice before and both of ther marriages ended because she cheated on her husbands. The last marriage ended when her and Dave started "dating" it w2as never really datign though. They would just come back to mine and Dave's apartment and have loud disgusting sex. It always pissed me off to no end! The thing is I might have made an effort to like this lady but she just was always vulgar about her sex life. She used to tell em about how much she liked gettign it up the ass and then would go down to Dave's room and I would hear her screaming "yes give it to me right in my ass!!" at the top of her lungs. I don't mind moaning and groaning and I have nothing against anal sex but when you know someone else is there and they can hear you that is just rude!

Then after Daves started dating her he got really weird. He started building things like sex swings to hang from the ceiling of our rented apartment and ordering vibrators and shit off the internet. He was always kinda on the fringe and she just pushed him over. For the last three girls that both of us are freinds with birthdays he gave them vibrators. I asked the girls how they felt about that and they all thought it was rather disgusting. On a lighter note two of them did mention that if I were to give that to them they would either invite me over to watch them use it or let me play with them and the vibe.

Anyway back to the cancer. He says that she had to go in for the surgery to get it removed and she was gone for 2 days when she came back he said she didn't have any bandages or scars from surgery??? So I mentioned how that was. he thought it was to so he mentioned it to her and wondered why she seemed to not be calling him as much. He asked if she had met someone else. She says yes she has but it is not "like that" I unfortunately had to point out to him that she was an awful lot tanner than when she left for her "surgery" I found out from a friend that works at a travel agent that she and another guy had gone on a weekend trip to Florida. I haven't told dave yet though since he is now on the verge of being suicidal again.

Oh well with frineds like this no woander I am so fucked in the head!

 

[hankthetank]

What really pisses me off!!!

So here I am sitting at work still bored out of my skull when my father calls. Not so bad right? Wrong! He is the biggest asshole! he calls up and starts bitching to me how I never call him or my mom and never get in contact with anyone in the family. I don't get in contact with them becasue they all drive me nuts. Any event at their houses immediately disintegrates to yelling not arguingg just yelling. They yell when they are having a normal conversation.

So he calls me up and tells me that he is upset that I never call them and that he thinks I am trying to get away from them, which I am. I tell him that I am busy and and don't have time to check in with them every day. Which I don't and he is all upset that I spend more time with my in-laws.

Now I love my wife and yes I admit I have cheated in the past but I am going to counseling and I am trying to change. The thing is even my counselor thinks it is becasue of my dad and the way he treats me and the people around him that I am so fucked up. How in the hell do I tell my dad that I really don't want to be around him? I mean I love him since he is my dad I just really don't like him at all. I see him and I see what I was becoming and they were the same. I don't want to be that way and I am making a major effort to change I and so far I have been doing prety good now he calls me up and pisses me off! Damn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well I am just venting!

 

[hankthetank]

ewwwww!

I am having one or the worst days ever. I have to have a blood test later today for diabetes so I am not allowed to eat anything for 12 hours before hand well ussually they expect you to come in first thing in the morning I can't go there then though so I ahve to go after work and so I am sitting at work starving to death. I dtill have like three hours and half hours left at work tonight and it is absolutely dead! then I have the problem with my friend Jen. We are supposed to be going to Buffet in Chicago later this month my wife was supposed to be going with me unfortunately she can't so now I ahve two tickets and I have to go by myself with all of Jen's friends who are younger than me and only ever want to get trashed. I just don't see the point in going to a concert if you can't remember it the next day? Anyway I need to find someone to go to this concert with and all of my buddies are broke so they can't buy the ticket from me and they ahve no money to stay in ahotel over night either. I almost wish I hadn't bought the ticket in the first place except I do really like Buffet.

Oh well my life isn't as bad as it could be at least I am bitching abouthow all of my friends are broke not how I am broke. Hell I am broke though I have a stack of twenty bills to pay at home and half are late the other half will be on time but now I have to pay all of the late fees. time to put the old nose back to the grindstone.