TROUPE THAT! (The birth of The Beatnik Syndicate)

[BEATNIKSF]

Stuff:

So, I found out last night that a guy I dated in college was killed in 2003.
Don't ask how this information came to me - it is very complicated.

Okay - so it's not that complicated. This guy - Jason - was the roommate of my friend Tony. I met Jason and Tony at the same time (they were kind of like Ernie and Bert or Pinkie and the Brain... Jay being Ernie/Pinkie, Tony being Bert/the Brain...) Jay and I dated for a while & I was really mean to him... then I broke up with him so I could go out with Tony.

Granted - Tony was one of the major relationships in my life - but, I always felt guilty about hurting Jason that way.

Tony's still one of my best friends.

Jason moved to Arizona in 2000... and, no one in our group of college friends has heard from him in a couple of years... so, Tony & Andy (their other roommate from college) got curious about what had become of Jason (apparently they had some mail they thought should be forwarded to him or something...) and googled him.

They found an obituary for him... and, then researched it further and found that according to the AZ cornors office he died in 2003 in a suspected homicide.

Poor Jay. Now I feel really bad because I was so bitchy to him and made fun of him all the time... granted, everyone did - he was just one of those guys who it was easy to make fun of... and, he was always very good natured about it. But, I still feel bad.

I had conversation w/him shortly before he moved in which I apologized for being mean to him and hurting him when I started going out w/Tony... I'm glad that I did that now.

Jason had an imaginary pet duck he called "Quackers" whom he would blame farts on. That is what I remember most about him. And, that one time he brought me a rose at work. He was a nice guy & it's a real shame that he's dead.

He would be 29 this year.
***

I'm going out with "T" on Sunday.
More details of that some other time when it's slightly more appropriate.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

I got home today to find an envelope had come in the mail for me from my Mom... in it was an obituary for my high school Music teacher, Nancy Smith.

Mrs. Smith was far and away my favorite teacher. She taught me vocal music and music theory from the time I was 12 (almost 13) until I was 19. She inspired me and encouraged me to persue being an actor. She was like my family and I loved her very, very much.

I don't get why my Mom didn't call me to tell me she had passed when she found out instead of sending me an obituary.

This has been kind of a crappy week.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Is This A Sign?

I just found out (via an hour phone conversation) that "T" was born in the same town as I was (Elgin, IL.), in the same hospital as I was (Sherman Hospital), in the same year (197--cough, cough) - TEN DAYS AFTER I WAS!

Is that too weird, or what?
That has to be some kind of sign... seriously.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Baby, You Make My Heart Beat Faster...

There is this song by the Distillers called Beat Your Heart Out and the refrain is: "Baby, you make my heart beat faster..."

Over and over again.

"Baby, you make my heart beat faster..."

And, *sigh* that's pretty much what I have to say about that.

I hate the soft, squishy, sweet side of me... seriously. I would (most times) rather be perceived as a cold bitch than to be viewed as vulnerable. That's a defense mechanism... you know?

Body armor.

Then there are the people who you encounter in your life who just kind of tear that down w/out knowing that is what they are doing - people who inspire me to be sweet, nice... vulnerable.

To risk things and be direct. To allow myself the capability to be really hurt.

The cracked-out part of that is that I am a complete romantic at heart. I 100% believe in love at first sight and "happily ever after." (Or, as Shaun Landry once said: "HOPEFULLY ever after.")

So how can those two things coincide in one person - scared, hides behind bravado girl and wine-and-roses, uber-romantic girl? Beats the hell out of me sometimes... but, there you have two aspects to my personality.

Nice vs. Not-so-Nice.

Anyone who gets me to quote poetry to them is on the right track to finding out about the more hidden of those two aspects.

It's now a fight not to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Anyhow... last night was very good. Despite torrents of rain and having been up since 6 am (YES, I worked on a Sunday. Don't ask.) Very, very good. Yup.

That is all.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

The Art Of Misdirection

The wonderful thing about "T" is that he (without knowing that he's doing this) is very successful at distracting me from the other areas of my life where things are not going so well... the fact that I'm pretty much completely smitten is really a blessing in disguise. Because, I cannot focus on the fact that in the past week I've accrued over 70 hours working at various jobs & am exhausted mentally and physically, that two people who were very important in my life have died, that I'm scared shitless about my upcoming show and that other people who are currently important in my life are not being that nice to me... because, I have this big sappy smile on my face 24/7 due to him being a cool guy.

That is all.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Monsters Of Rock!

Okay.
Now I'm positive that this all has to be a sign...

"T" owns the same Monsters of Rock comp cd that I do and is equally as embarassed at the fact that he actually enjoys listening to this cheesy 80's hair-band music cd (as am I.)

Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo...
(That's supposed to be the theme from the Twilight Zone.)

Later, IRC...

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Curtian Up... Light The Lights...

Well. Tonight is the opening night of Tales of Beatnik Glory at the Next Stage... I'm starting to get a little jittery... but, I'm sure I'll be fine. I think most of my nerves are from the producer standpoint - as this is the first big project which I've mounted completely on my own steam (and $$)... so, I want it to be very sucessful.

Performance wise - I'm sure it will be a lot of fun. If I can just let go of the Producer role for these three nights... I'm really thankful that ZS is hosting... and, that I have CH as FOH tonight, Martin as FOH tomorrow night and MDP's fiance (who is awesome) as FOH on Saturday.

In three days it will all be over & I can go back to the relative ease of producing the once a month shows, prepping to pimp ourselves to DCM and preparing for the SF TheaterFest...

No big show until August, then.
Whew.

Hopefully we'll at least sell out one night. One night... that's all I'm asking for... one fucking packed-to-standing-room only house.

Please.

Not too much to ask, right?

Okay - I must stop talking about it all... anyone who wants to tell me anything to put in the back of my mind about all this - you know where to find me.

Oh, and "T" is coming tonight.
Like opening night isn't nerve-wracking enough?
Okay... I can deal.

Breathing...

Agreement,
Cooperation,
Visiable Game,
Real Characters,
ACTION,
LISTENING,
Location,
Truthful Responses,
No Questions,
Characters who know each other,
No transactions,
No teaching,
START IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE...

Oh, and, have fun!

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Show? What show?

...floats away on cloud twenty-zillion-and-nine...

What? I had a show tonight?
Huh?

That is all.
:blush:

 

[BEATNIKSF]

I Have No Time

To describe how on Friday and Saturday we played like rock-stars... and, that we had audiance... like manna from heaven... rock-star improv & laughing audiance...

And, how Saturday (and, Sunday) were more than likely two of the best personal days I've had in years and years and years...

I will have to post all the details of this at a later point.
Because, no matter how close I think my life is getting to slowing down - that is always when it decides to go haywire on me again...

But, man - Thursday, 3/9 (at 11:30 pm) through Sunday, 3/12 (at 10:00 pm) were just fucking sublime.

Mmm-hmmm.
:blush:

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Bah To The Cold Virus.

That is what I have to say today.
Bah, bah, bah!

"The best laid plans of mice and men oft do go awry."
(Robert Burns)

My parents were in town for two days -- two wonderful days of eating at nice resturants and shopping with da Mommaship... it was great. Hiked to the top of Telegraph Hill - no parrots to be seen - but, a hell of a view. Nice time all around. They left for the airport about two hours ago to catch a flight to Hawaii - where they are spending a week at some conference for KSU.

What a life.

Woke up with this brilliant, genius plan about this evening (as the parentals were leaving at 3:30 - leaving me with a free, non-working & no one else knows that, evening...) Brilliant idea - I am a brilliant girl.

And, what I have to say about that?

Bah to the cold virus.
Fucking colds and the people who spread them have fucked up my night o' fun... bah!

So I'm finishing up my laundry and then heading to Whole Foods to purchase fixings for chicken soup... as I am a sweet woman. Just ask anyone.

Bah.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Working On Weekends

Sucks.

This weekend I have missed a killer audition...
Missed spending QT with "T" (though, we managed to fit in a bunch of it around various committments I have)...
Missed sleeping...
Missed playing tennis w/KR this morning...
Missed opportunities to do my laundry...
Missed getting caught up on SFIC/beatnik work...

Due to my boss needing my presence in the office working on shit which (in all honesty) could have been handled on Monday... or, last week.

She claims it is because we are backed up due to me taking two personal days to chill out with my folks while they were in town.

Um? So, fuck me for taking personal days - it's not like you OFFERED THEM TO ME as part of my contract, right? (Insert Sarcasm There.)

And... and... and... what I ESPECIALLY don't get is that she HIRED A TEMP to come in and cover basic admin functions while I was gone... yet, I'm still backed up with work so much so that it has required 6 hours in the office yesterday and going on 8 hours in the office today.

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THIS TEMP DID WHILE HE/SHE WAS HERE, PLEASE... PLEASE?

Because it looks to me like they sat at my computer and played free-cell.

Not to mention that I have two action packed days in front of me for tomorrow and Tuesday... while my bosses are on vacation - skiiing.

T has a good philosophy about this kind of office bullshit -- I should post it in its entirety sometime -- it's really funny. But, let's just suffice to say for now that I have been a true victim of "My Emergency IS SO Your Emergency" and the "Ever Shifting Top Priority" this weekend...

And, a crappy temp.
***

I will say, though, that I am (in general) very content & have a glow about me. I will allow you all to infer from that what you will about the goings on in my personal life.

Le sigh. :blush:

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Tyler's Philosophy Of Post-modern Office Theater:

T sent this to me in an email a couple of weeks ago while explaining why he was going to have to work 8 hours on a Sunday... I find it funny and apropo... the last description is mine.

Enjoy, IRC! :loopy:
***
Hamster Wheel Day = Where you go round and round and never got closer to the finish. Sometimes work seems like some kind of experiment rather than a job. Either that or a piece of post-modern theatre.

Common Post-Modern Office Performances:

“The Ever Expanding Project” - This is the one where the boss in charge of the project suddenly vastly expands the scope of the project greatly increasing the work volume, then reacts with disbelief when told that this will make things take longer to complete.

“But you said you could have it finished before 6 today!”

“That was before you tripled the workload on me with no warning.”

“The New Top Priority” = This is the one where the boss gives me one project to work on and I do for several hours, then, part way through, brings in another project and tells me to put the earlier one aside because this new arrival is the New Top Priority. They almost never give enough time to satisfactorily complete the New Top Priority, frequently interrupt work on the New Top Priority by introducing its bastard half-sibling, the Newer Topper Priority, and (referring above) express disbelief if any of these projects is not complete in the time frame originally agreed.

“The Eternal Optimist” = the situation where one person who doesn’t completely understand the specifics of a project gives the boss an impossibly optimistic deadline for a project which they will then assign to somebody else (me). And then they both act disappointed and express concern when they are told, sooner or later, that the original deadline (which was not based on anything related to reality) will probably have to be pushed back.

These are the ones I confronted today. Maybe I should make up a coded checklist of these, sort of like I’ve always wanted to do for motivational and time management meetings. So when a co worker misses a meeting and asks me what he missed, I can just say, “Oh they sat us down and told us number 8, number 14 and number 6. Then we all went back to work. And there were donuts.”



“Foundation of Shifting Sand” = where work commences on a project despite the fact that the particular facts and details of the project or case are not definitely and certainly known. Thus, the facts and details frequently change in a fashion that renders hours of work and research moot or irrelevant. I bet that never happened on the shocking two hour season finale of “The Practice”.

" The Exploding Project, a.k.a. - My Emergency IS SO Your Emergency!" = a situation where even though you are not involved in the intial planning or execution of the project - when it goes terriably awry (and, it always does) you are expected to run-around like a chicken with your head cut off fixing things, putting out fires and stopping up leaks in someone else's work. You are expected to freak-out to the same level (if not more hysterical than, ) the person who is immediately senior to you & if you exhibit rational thought, a calm approach or general disdain for the heightened emotions which everyone around you is expressing you are accused of "not taking the situation seriously" or "not being a team player." Whoever said that cool-headed people perservere has never dealt with an office full of panic addicts.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Junk Salad, Bah To The Cold (part Two), Tired... Other Stuff

My mom invented this term when we were kids for salad which gets all kind of crap dumped on it - hence eliminating any nutritional value it actually had - Junk Salad.

I loves me some junk salad... I am eating one right now as my major meal of the day - it started out as a Caesar (Mr. Dog) salad... then added a bunch of crap on top of it... yummy!

I :love: junk salad.

***

Last night T was supposed to come over and watch the Eddie Izzard (like you couldn't tell by the "Mr. Dog" reference?) dvd w/me - but, called me at work to tell me that he'd stayed home from work because he was sick... I forbade him to come over and get me sick in return... as I just don't have time. So, last night I sat on the couch watching said DVD and got slightly tipsy off of the remainder of the bottle of wine he'd brought over on Saturday -- pouting. Martin tried to cheer me up by making chocolate chip cookies -- but, it was useless. Though, I did have an hour and a half conversation w/the ailing T via phone... not the same.

We are doing something tomorrow night, instead.

***

On that note - I'm so fucking exhausted that my eyes are crossed. Maybe I am getting sick, too. Who knows? All I know is that as of 5:30 pm on Friday I'm turning my cell phone off and am not going to answer it until 10:30 am on Monday.

I need a weekend.

***

beatnik has been invited to perform at the SF Theater Festival in July. That's pretty cool. And, we might have lined up a guest appearance w/another SF troupe at their ongoing Thursday night show... cool beans. Not to mention gearing up to submit to DCM & an ongoing show of our own starting in April... all very good things.

If I could just get everyone in the same room for a half-hour so we could do the planning thing, you know?

Then it'd be awesome.

Back to work.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Running Away From Home At Age Thirty*cough, Cough**something:

After having had to work all of last weekend - followed by a pretty crap-tastic work at week, this week (including getting sick)... I declared, somewhere around Wednesday, that come 5:30 pm on Friday I was going to turn my cell phone off and disappear. That I was not going to work, look at email or the Internet, answer calls (though, I did check messages) or have anything to do w/the outside world for two days straight.

I was going to do the grown-up version of running away from home:

And, T, being the guy he is offered to help me hide-out from the grown-up world by offering asylum at his "hobbit hole" (seriously, dude's apartment is like a version of Bilbo Baggins residence and Jason Lee's (aka, Brody) room in the movie Mallrats - complete with Playstation 2 cued up to NHL Hockey next to the bed... it's so... so... so... BOY) - where I was pampered by having coffee brought to me in bed & meals cooked for me... it was like being in a weird, slightly musty, B&B.

All in all -- a amazing, wonderful weekend of nothing. We watched movies (Broken Flowers, The Princess Bride, Apollo 13) and hockey... We went out and I got smashed off two beers (I know, I'm a lightweight) at a bar on the Haight and sang 80's tunes... I bought a kick-ass MC5 shirt & a new pair of jeans (because, I forgot to bring any clothes w/me when I ran-away from home.) We wandered around Clement Street yesterday and I bought some books at the thrift store & a very cool punk compilation cd... we ate bad diner food & good Irish Stew... I slept. Oh, god - I cannot tell you how amazing it felt to take a NAP in the middle of the afternoon yesterday! I think we just really take for granted how amazing a feeling it is to be able to lay down and sleep exactly when you feel tired enough to do so. We vegged out to bad TV...

It was exactly what I needed.

But, like all kiddies who run-away from home - I returned. Which is where I am now -- typing away at the old blogee, blog, blog, blog...

T's off playing street hockey w/his buddies in GG Park (have I mentioned lately how fucking sexy this man is? Well, he is. Fucking sexy.) And, I'm going to do some laundry & a little reading... perhaps take another nap (as I am still kind of sick w/whatever creeping crud was passed onto me via T's co-workers -who got him sick, then he got me sick, etc...) And, do a little SFIC media work. Then I will go to bed super early - as I have to be AT work tomorrow at 7am.

***

Well, it's been announced.
We'll see what happens next. Hopefully, everyone will be as excited about it as we are.
I feel good about this event, though. I am very proud of the work we (the SFIC) are all doing together to pull it together.

***

I had an odd dream last night that I was back in high-school, except I was the same age as I am now & Seth Morris was one of my classmates... (maybe it was "Improv High School"? Dk.) Anyhow, his locker was next to mine and we were talking to some media guy from some newspaper who was at our high school doing a story on something (that part was unclear)... and, I stole Seth's jacket. And, then felt very bad about it (it was a nice jacket - an Ireland Rugby track-jacket) and gave it back to him. And, he just laughed at me.

Bryce Byerley and AE were in the dream, too... part of the high school was also a casino... and, they were playing roulette. And, actually, they kept winning.

Huh?

What a weird dream. If anyone cares to proffer a thought about what that is about - I'm more than interested in hearing theories about what it meant.

Sorry Seth, for stealing your jacket in my dream.
Congratulations to Bryce & AE for your dream winnings... don't spend it all in one dream place.

Odd. :loopy:

 

[BEATNIKSF]

You know what sucks?

(And, don't crack some blowjob joke here, please...)

What sucks is having gone to bed at 9:30 pm (because you have to get up at five am to be at work at seven am) and being woken up at 1:38 am by FUCKING GARBAGE TRUCKS and shouting garbage men under your window.

What do they think no one actually lives in Chinatown?

Aiee-yiee.

***

I had another weird dream last night:
beatnik was getting prepped to do a show - which was at a school - and, we were one of several "acts" which was to perform in this show. There was a high school cheerleading act, a professional circus act and a group of 1920's flappers -- who were lead by Lisa Rowland -- (a former member of beatnik & one of the funniest women improvisers I know.)

So we're in this room, JD, D, JFP, DA and myself - trying to warm-up... and, we keep getting interupted by the kids in the cheerleading act who want to use our piano (don't ask why - I don't know.)

Finally, after what seems like twenty minutes of this frustration, I go to find their teacher to ask her to please keep her kids from coming and interupting our warm-up... as soon as I step out of the door of the room we are in - I am dressed like a flapper and in the middle of a gymnasium.

And, Lisa Rowland climbs out from under this baby grand piano and starts trying to teach me some 1920's flapper dance (which was very complicated). But, of course, as this was a dream, I got it right away and we danced our little hearts out.

I remember at one point of the dance - looking over and seeing the people in the professional circus act twirling around on those French silks - doing all sorts of acrobatic, aerial stuff & them stopping to look at us dancing.

We were showstoppers.

And, then we had our big finish -- and, we twirled around and my flapper dress went up over my head.

AND, OF COURSE there was a huge crowd of stupid, teenage males there (the gym had turned into a mall, by the way) who started hooting and hollering at my bum.

But, then, as Lisa and I were trying to fend them off - the cheerleading act came rushing in and distracted them. (Finally - teenage girls serve a purpose!) And, I slipped away and back into the room where we were supposed to be warming up.

Still dressed as a flapper.

And, JFP said, "What the fuck are you dressed like that for?"

And, (of course,) the guys cracked up laughing at me.

That's when I woke up.
:loopy:

***
Off to work. Boy that sucks.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

I have stuff to say.
I just don't have time to say it.

Later, IRC...

:loopy:

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Oh, The Irony

So... I worked until 10 pm last night... from 9 am until 10 pm... and, every other day this week I've been in my office by 7 am... gah.

This client is an unconfident moron.

I felt so bad for JB last night - we're scrambling around the office after waiting all day for this nimwit to get off his ass and send the revisions to the presentation she's to give tomorrow in Philly to us so that we could prep her to fly today... and, she's had less sleep than I have & is about to cry.

I know there are times that I bitch about my boss being anal retentive and somewhat of a micro-manager... but, I also am somewhat defensive of her, her talent and her loyalty. I don't know many people who would stay in the office until 11 pm to wait on stupid corrections from a client who is insecure about having to present to the big-cheese in his corporation & can't seem to do his job to save his life due to fear...

JB could run circles around this kid & if he'd just listened to her -- everything would have been fine.

But, no... it's not like that.

Now she's on the road for 6 days & I'm in the office trying to maintain other stuff we've got going on... I'm getting to do direct client work for the first time & it's kind of cool... I've got stuff on my plate for both a SF university and a national (well known) clothing line.

The irony of this is that on Monday night I watched "the Corporation." And, I realize that I'm working (in part - because, she does do 85% non-profit work) for someone who is part of a system that I don't believe in.

Hum.
Oh well.
I guess I'm a corporate sell-out.
I'm 'da man'.

I keep walking by empty store fronts and dreaming of my theater company... four years, eight months to go.

Back to work.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

Saturday

I have a new Flogging Molly t-shirt... it is green & makes me look very Irish.

There is a cute, snuggly boy on my couch.

Why the fuck am I dorking around on the internet?
I'm outta here.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

I Have Not Been To Work In Four Days...

That's right... four days.

Thursday night I stayed at Tyler's (that would be "T" to you, buddy) place after we had a sushi dinner out... yum! Sushi! So, trucked back Friday am from his place - actually riding Muni pretty much to my apartment w/him (on his way to work)... it was so... couplish. Akk!

Friday was a crazy ass day of running around SF trying to get my shiznit together -- all the shiznit I don't get to deal with on a regular basis due to the crazy life I seem to be leading. Running around trying to get stuff done before the time when I promised I'd be on the phone having a conference w/someone regarding sponsorship of the "Big Project" for the SFIC... Pick-up paycheck... run to Walgreens & get asthma inhaler refilled... oops, out of laundry detergent, too... grab some of that while we're there... oh, yeah & picture frames for the pictures from my brother's wedding this past October.

Post office... mail the package to Lauren that I've been promising to mail for about twelve years now... mail a beatnik DVD to my Mom & Dad, along with the program which gives them special thanks for making a donation of a couple hundred bucks towards the production of "Tales of Beatnik Glory"... drop a week's worth of Netflix (which have been sitting on my dresser for two weeks) into the mail, too... Narnia is coming out next week & god-love-me, I didn't see it in the theater & now I NEED to see it... Tyler says that I won't be horrified at the adaptation of my mostest favorite children's books into a film medium... so, I'm going to trust him & watch it... but, I digress...

Get home & have said conference call... goes very, very well - basically, I'm getting all the things I hoped I would: Larger ad space for our $$, more issues that the ad will be run in, support of the publication's promotions department and about 10 features writers (from this one publication) with a sarcastic, sardonic streak to their humor who's ears are perked up going, "Huh? What's this event about?" The arm wrestling over who gets to cover it begins sometime this week & I've already sent an informal email regarding the nature of the "Big Project" to a hand full of writers whom my contact in the advertising department recommended to me for coverage.

Call members of the SFIC to report good news... chat w/CH while on Muni (in the rain) to Whole Foods regarding other specifics of the "Big Project..." Back into running around mode... do the fastest grocery shop at Whole Foods I've ever done - I'm in and out in ½ a hour. Amazing. Back at my apartment by 4:00 pm -- where I get dinner started, change my sheets and jump into the shower -- hoping that Tyler doesn't get to my place before I'm cleaned up, etc...

Have a lovely dinner and evening with a lovely man. Go to sleep hella early. Which is good - as I noted (starting on Thursday night) that I was *not feeling that well*... as in, I had a sinus headache and a cough.

Wake up Saturday - feel like shit. Snotty nose, headache and, now, racking cough. Blow it off - I'm invincible, right? Besides, I promised I'd be Martin's personal shopper today and help him get decked out to be putting himself back out into the dating world. (For those of you who have not *met* Martin - he dresses very "preppy-nerd-boy" circa 1994... not very hip. Not that I'm that much *more* hip but, amongst my friends I seem to have a reputation of being a shopping guru & a style queen so much so that I have friends who wait all year for me to come home at Xmas so that I can go shopping for clothes with them. I find this very odd considering that I'm most comfortable in a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops than I am in fancy clothes... and, I do most of my shopping either via the wholesale mercy of my friends who own poshy clothing stores in SF or at Goodwill... you know? Again, I digress...)

Martin tells me he won't be ready to go until 11am so I get up and make breakfast for myself and Tyler... then we watch Martin & Orloff which made me giggle repeatedly through-out...

Martin returns from running errands & I shoo Tyler out the door (making promises to meet him later...) Martin and I are off to a day of shopping.

We are very, very successful at H&M in finding him clothes which update him from 1994 to 2006... We then go over to the shoe store where I convince him to get rid of his brown loafers in favor of some new black Doc Martin's work shoes... we grab lunch (Wetzel's Pretzel Dogs... yum!) And, I buy a new messenger bag (olive green canvas)... We go to the Virgin Mega Store where I spend an hour trying to convince Martin to buy a CBGB shirt to wear under this other blue shirt he bought at H&M... he ends up buying a John Coltrane shirt instead & I pick up a green Flogging Molly shirt... On the way home I start coughing like a mo-fo & Martin comments that he thinks I should go to the doctor on Monday because I've been getting progressively sicker and sicker over the past week... I pooh-pooh him - being that my new philosophy is that if I refuse to acknowledge that I'm getting sick, then I won't get sick.

I continue to cough my lungs out walking through the Stockton Tunnel - which creates this odd echo... I have an asthma attack (from the coughing) half way through the tunnel.

We get home and Martin goes to take a nap & I call Thomas - as I haven't talked to him in a while... he is bitchy to me (he has been since I told him I was dating someone - WHAT THE FUCK?)... the conversation ends quickly and I go to take a shower... I feel somewhat better after 20 minutes ensconced in steam... I call Tyler who is still at home - he says that he'll head back over.

Once he gets here, he sits on the couch finishing a book and I dork around on the Internet. We discuss what we want to do that evening & concur that since he's tired & I'm not feeling well that we should just go get some dinner at Star India and then go rent a couple of movies, making it an early evening... crash at his house, since it's closest to the restaurant. We go have good dinner at Star India & walk up through the Haight to the video store... we rent "Series 7" and "Rock n' Roll High School" and head back to his place... stopping at Cala on the way to purchase beer and stuff for breakfast the next morning.

We watch "Series 7" (which I forgot had Will Arnett in it - Will Arnett reminds me of my friend Brett Copes, who we just saw in a Crest commercial the other day, but, that's a topic for another post and AGAIN, I digress)... and, then I fall asleep.

When I wake up, I realize that it was "Spring Forward" that evening (the most dreaded day of the year for me - as it means that I lose an hour in the morning, giving me less sleep, making me grumpy - more dreaded than "tax day" or "Chinese New Year," even...) Plus, I feel crappy.

Coughing, sneezing, chills... Tyler officially pronounces me "sick." He makes me breakfast in bed and we watch "Rock n' Roll High School."

Somewhere around 1 pm we concur that perhaps I might feel better if we took a walk to return the DVDs... getting some fresh air, etc... as his place is rather moldy & dusty - which might be contributing to my sneezing, etc.

So we walk - in the drizzle - back up through the Haight... stopping at the video store long enough to return the movies & then going to Goodwill at Haight & Cole (this was the way which he lured me into this trip - as that is my favorite Goodwill in the city, always chock full of vintage clothes, etc...) He buys a minor league hockey team t-shirt, I buy a dress which I will wear as a shirt over jeans (yes, I'm one of *those* girls) and a cookbook. We then go to Amoeba - where he buys a box set of the Ramones and I lust after vintage punk vinyl - not buying anything under the premise that it's ridiculous for me to buy vinyl as I don't have a turntable... He says that we should go back to that second hand shop in North Beach next weekend and buy one of the turntables that I was looking at, that he'll hook it up for me... because, it would be very relaxing to just spend an afternoon lying in the middle of my living room on the floor listening to records with me. This makes me mushy & somewhat demonstrative of my growing affection for him in public... however, in the middle of this I am overcome with a coughing fit & we buy his box set and leave.

Though, I think that when I get my tax return I may go back and purchase some of that vinyl I was lusting after. (I mean - they pretty much had EVERY album I was looking for, save one. One... which I already have, but, it's really scratched & doesn't play that great from what I remember. MC5, the Clash, the Alarm, the Pixies, the Sex Pistols, the Stooges, Bob Mould... everything I was looking for... it was quite amazing, honestly. I could have spent a couple of hours in there.)

We went back to his place & he made me dinner... we lounged about for a couple of hours & I determined that I needed to go home. Somewhere around 7:30 pm, he bundled me up in one of his sweaters (as I was "inappropriately dressed for the weather") and walked me to Muni... on which I hopped and came home - in a torrential downpour.

I went to bed at 9:30 pm - still feeling feverish and coughing like a mo-fo.

Woke up around 5 am, just knowing that I could not go into work today... took my temp... 101. Damn.

So, I called Dr. R at 7:45 am (I think I woke him up, actually) to let him know I couldn't make it into the office today. Then went back to sleep and didn't get up until noon.

I feel somewhat better - good enough that I may bundle up and venture across the street to do laundry - provided it's not raining.

Then I'm taking another nap. Resting. Eating chicken soup. Watching DVDs... I cannot afford to miss more work this week.

Bah. I hate being sick.

Anyhow. Must consume something resembling a meal now, starting to get shaky.

 

[BEATNIKSF]

You know what I hate?

People who are shitty just for the sake of being shitty.

I had a long conversation with Liz last night about this very topic - about people who feel so bad about themselves that their only outward recourse is to try (usually in a very backhanded fashion) to make others feel as bad as they do...

One of my New Year's resolutions was to not let shitty people upset me. And, on the whole, I've been quite sucessful in this. It's for me. You know? Because, if I spend all my time getting worked up at these people's antics (and, it would seem that I know more than my fair share of these personalities,) then I have no energy left over to do either the things in my life that I SHOULD be doing or WANT to be doing. All my wonderful, purple glow, good-karma loveliness is wasted being directed towards anger or stress.

Which ain't good.

So, I've learned to blow it off. Mostly.

What really gets to me (instead of the shitty person being shitty) is watching my friends who aren't as adept at rolling their eyes and saying, "Oh, whatever" get really upset and out of joint about the antics of those said shitty people. It's troublesome and sad and it makes me feel protective of those friends.

It's really nasty when someone who has nothing better to do with their time constructs bullshit solely for the purpose of hurting another person.

It is, in a word, shitty.

However, the shitty people of the world should take note: Karma is a bitch. And, even when things might be looking up for you - know that if you continue to be a bitter, angry, vindictive person - it will come back around and smack you upside the head.

I say this from experiance. A reformed sinner, that's me... because, I'm a big enough person to be able to say that I've been a shitty person from time-to-time in my thirty*cough,cough*something years of life. And, I know that it's true - that if you act like a jerk, you'll get treated like a jerk and in the end Karma will have her way with you.

It's so much better to not be a shitty person and learn how to play nice with others and not let shitty people bother you. They'll get theirs in the end.

***
In other, happy news - I stayed home sick, again - but, apparently Tyler didn't have to work today (dk why?) and is on his way over to my apartment to make me Kraft dinner and watch movies with me while stroking my feverish brow...

What a guy!