To the male improvisors.

[Griggs]

:exp:

Men, are you envious of the all-female festivals that have popped up around the country? Do you find yourselves sitting at home thinking, "All the women around the world are getting better at improv, but there's not a festival that teaches me, the male improvisor, how to succeed in this dog eat dog industry."
Well, your prayers are answered. Men, you can start getting better soon.
Jeff Griggs is producing a festival specifically designed to help men in improv. It's the Funny Men Festival. Susan Messing is the grand poobah of the recently announced FMF. She'll use every ounce of her soul to show men how to be funny in this exciting yet spiritual gathering.
This is for real and it will be happening soon. The link is below and the date for the event will be posted soon.
Get ready men. Our day is coming.
http://www.lonelylion.com/funnymen/

 

[macoule30]

HOSANNAH!

Finally, the improv community has opened it's blind eye to the significant minority of males aged 18 to 35 who've been hammering at this glass ceiling since time immemorial. One question though. Can I bring my drum?

 

[mullaney]

Actually, you bring up a good point accidently macoule30. Personally, I think that FMF should be confined to young men under the age of 30, since they have the toughest time competing in the improv world.

You might also consider special workshops for suburban white males. We need to encourage these kids to stay in the game! We lose far to many every year to other post-college hobbies like softball or well... softball.






By the way, this makes 1000 posts. Take that Jake Foglenest.

 

[Spiro]

Will this competition feature some sort of pugil stick event? Preferably the sticks should be sharpened or have flaming tips.

 

[Whines]

Well, obviously the scope of an all male improv festival is still too broad, even limiting it to the normally alienated under-30 crowd. I think the festival should be redefined to be for 25 year old white male improvisers who all do scenes that fit into the category "roommates who won't pay rent for the craziest reasons."

 

[macoule30]

I think Whines is on to something here.

We could have a special second stage show for three beat heightenings of "I'm a grade school bully/ Now I'm the United States/ Now I'm God"

When can I buy tickets?

 

[Dunford]

I just want there to be a mime-shoveling workshop.

 

[Joey Michaels]

If this is a joke, it is not a very funny joke.

Women have been oppressed by men in western culture for hundreds, nay, thousands, of years. If they need to go off and have a festival by themselves just to get out of the all-cover shadow of the uber-daddies, then they should be made to feel comfortable doing this.

Satire such as this is oppresive and offensive.

Besides, every festival is the all-male festival as near as I can tell.

Now, I realize that we only let one woman into SCR at a time, and make sure that she is, in the words of our frat boy members, "a total babe with a fine rack," but this is a marketing move, not a sexist move. We are playing on the sexism of our audience, parodying it if you will.

Personally, I think a young, stacked woman is a much funny satire of sexism in America than this offensive "Funny Man" site.

JM
SCR

 

[noeld]

Cheese soup tyranny

I'm with you Joey Michaels! This is not funny one bit, and either is Jeff Griggs. I have been on a team with Jeff for years and if I can tell you one thing about him, it is that JEFF GRIGGS HATES WOMEN (womyn? sp). Why does he hate women? I'm not sure. I do know that if I was a female improvisor I would be investing in some mace. I can't even count the number of scenes I have seen Griggs perform with a woman that started "That was a great blowjob, stewardess, now fetch me some eggs!". I try to be nurturing of my femine side. Jeff Griggs systematically abuses, objectifies, and sexually assaults his feminine side. No matter what joke he tells, the punch line is always opression.

The additional question begs though - why would Jeff want to gather so many male improvisors in one place? I'll tell you why. Jeff Griggs sees males as having "larger", "heartier", and otherwise "superior" appetites to women. He intends to gather as many growling stomachs togeather and force his nasty cheese soup on us. Jeff is to the culinary world what Dr. Frankenstein was to the Medical - bad news. This soup not only tastes like a hot Dorrito milkshake, but it will clog an artery at 50 feet.

Don't believe the hype!

Noel

:flip:

 

[Jigglin Bones]

Noel's Cheesy Soup

I have never been on a team for years with Noel D, and let me tell you why: He's a woman lover! The fucking guy loves women way too much! It makes it much too difficult to be a real man (and by "real man" I mean a woman bashing barbarian) around him. He's always making room for them to walk and not hitting them. Who wants to be around fairy like that?

As far as the FMF, I think it's a sad waste of graphics to pass this off as a joke. I believe a Funny Men's Fest would be a great opportunity for all of us men to celebrate the way we have successfully prevented the advancement of women in society. I remember even back when I was a young child being taught to "keep the bitches in their place" at all costs.

I say a prayer to thank Jesus (a man) every night for the grand plan of manhood. And I know that all men were created equal by God (also a man) for a reason. It was so that we could be the same. Part of being a real man is conforming to the mold of manhood. And anyone who even tries to look at each and every man as an individual, with completely different views, attitudes, values, and priorities is just being a fag.

 

[Griggs]

You're a bit mistaken

The Funny Men Festival is not anti-women. In fact, it isn't anti-anything. It's pro-take responsibility for your actions.

Festival leader Susan Messing will take the men through the simple steps that are required to be a funny man. At no point will she say, "I know that when you do scenes with men it's oftentimes difficult because men frequently interrupt you or tell you that their ideas are stupid or wrong."

The FMF will promote our love for women. Because we do indeed love women.
:angel:
Let's get together and be better men. Better men for our women. Better men for our teams. Better men for our Improv Community. Better men for our world.[http://www.lonelylion.com/funnymen/[/URL]

 

[noeld]

Cheese soup Nazi

Everybody can see through your ruse Mr. Griggs. Joey Michaels and I can at least, that's for sure. Your argument is akin to that of the Aryan Nations who claim they are not anti minority. At least they do not try to schlep putrid curd flavored swill on their so called brothers. Something was written about the Hollocaust that goes something sort of like;

When they came after the blacks, I did not do anything because I was not black.
When they came after the Jews, I did not do anything because I was not a Jew.
When they came after the handicapped, I did not do anything because I was not handicapped.
Then they came after me, and there was nobody left to help.

The words may have gotten jumbled, but the message remains intact - JEFF GRIGGS IS A NAZI!! I for one will not sit back and do nothing. I will stand defiantly in oposition to Griggs and his soup of hate. I will stand with the women. With women all aound me, pressing in from every side. We will fight Griggs togeather untill we are slick with our own sweat and then we will cry out in unison when we achive victory!

Cheese is for crackers, not ladles!

Noel
:flip:

 

[Dennis O'Toole]

Everything Noel says about Griggs is right

Griggs is a first rate misogynist, and such a meat-head he probably thinks that a misogynist is a Korean masseuse. Noel is dead on right in his opposition to him.

However, Noel is no role model for proper behavior by male imprvisers. While he never does anything to insult women, he constantly insults anyone with intelligence. Take your standard initiation: "I love being a paperboy, dad." Perfect, we have emotion, relationships, and even a profession. Noel Dineen would ruin this wonderful start with his standard reaction, "My cock's busted!" What does that have to do with a father-son relationship or a newspaper route? Nothing. Noel doesn't care.

Cock joke after cock joke. That is the only club in his bag, the only card he ever plays. No mater what the situation, Noel will mention his cock. No matter what the freeze tag position, the action centers on cocks whenever he enters the scene. Griggs, a woman hating Nazi? Yes. But Noel Dineen, a cock obsessed Democrat? Unfortunately yes.

Check out this smiley face I have attached. This motherfucker is confused and sad. Wild!

 

[Cholley]

Griggs,

Is this "festival" in fact a fundraiser for cancer research? Is this another one of your elaborate duplicities? I am tired of your contant impersonations of a devil only leading to kindly acts. I need someone to hate, Griggs, and you are not living up to my standards.

Please tell me you are not having this man-fest to raise money for CaP Cure? Tell me that you are lying about this good intention and then I will know that I can freely hate you for the white protestant male you are (I'm fairly sure you are protestant although we've never discussed religion, you look protestant.)

Oooooh, how I want to hate you. with Noel Dineen out of town my hate has nowhere to focus itself and follows me around like a suffocating fog.

Cholley

 

[Dennis O'Toole]

Griggs is as Protestant as they get. You're right, he sure looks Protestant.

Earlier I wrote: "While [Noel] never does anything to insult women, he constantly insults anyone with intelligence. " I hope this doesn't exclude women from intelligence. So, I guess he does insult the intelligent women, of which there are many, like Cholley, the woman with the talent for spotting schismatic Christians. I just wanted to make it clear I am not in Griggs's camp.

I call this emoticon Dikembe

:tsk:

 

[Griggs]

Sorry Cholley

All registration fees will go straight to CaP CURE. The Funny Men Festival is not interested in monetary profit. We'll make our fortune in smiles and hugs, and of course laughter. I mean, it is an Improv festival.:up:
At this very instant, our festival leader, Susan Messing, is deligently working to put together a series of classes that will teach men to withstand the competition and ugliness in the improv world, and turn it around to produce a responsible and enjoyable show.
These other all-(Fill in the blank) festivals surely have it right. Isolate yourselves from everyone else. That must obviously be the only healthy way to attack and deal with problems. Segregate yourselves from other groups and blame the other groups for the reason why you aren't a good improvisor.
That's where our festival is just a little bit different. Susan and I will refuse to allow anyone to spread any kind of hate in the group. Our festival is not about blaming anyone. It's about learning and taking responsibility for our own actions.
It's like the Three Stooges taught us. If you hit Curly enough times, he'll get upset and leave. Then you're stuck with Shemp. And no one really wants to get stuck with Shemp.
Jeff Griggs
http://www.lonelylion.com/funnymen/

 

[noeld]

Macho Nacho soup

How many times is Jeff Griggs going to reply without once adressing the concerns of myself or Joey Michaels and nary a mention of his fetid cheese soup at all? Hello! Mr. Griggs, there is an elephant in the room, acknowledge it please!

It seems that Griggs is casting us all in the part of the fool. Well guess what? Nobody here was born yesterday! We can see through you a mile away. All of the following is blatantly obvious to everybody present;

1)Women are an integral part of the improv community and NOT anything less than 100% human as Jeff would have us to believe.

2) Soup with so much fat that it turns solid as it cools is not an acceptable source of nutrition.

3) JEFF GRIGGS IS AN EGOMANIAC SOCIOPATH THAT SHOULD PROBABLY BE CONSIDERED DANGEROUS!

I suggest that everybody who dislikes genocide take a moment of silence at 2:22 this afternoon to pray, envision a low-fat hate free world, and think of positive steps we can begin to take in order to lift the yoke that is Jeff Griggs off our neck.

Noel

PS - Dennis O'Toole - If you don't think cocks are funny, maybe you need to re-read a little book called Truth In Comedy!

:flip: