The Ring!

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#1
Introduction

Ok, I have the flu, and whenever I get sick I turn to TiVo.

Last night The Ring was on HBO, and TiVo got it for me.

This journal is an account of one man watching a very scary movie.

Spoilers ahoy!
 
Last edited:

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#2
Prologue

1-16-04
11:30 AM: I watched the first 5 minutes.

Who is this chick? She’s fine! Is she the little sister on Buffy? Could be. Let’s check IMDB. Nope, she’s the chick from Joan of Arcadia. And she’s 20, so I don’t feel dirty. Dodged a bullet there.

Whoa! This is scary! Shit started going crazy and the girl ran into her room and saw the ring! This is too scary to watch during the day. I’m going to save the rest for tonight when it’s dark and my family is asleep. That will be double scary!
 

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#3
11:15 PM

Ok, I’m back watching again. This little kid is such a freak. There’s not too much scarier than a freaky little kid, seriously. Wow, I just thought, “I wish they’d have a gratuitous shot of the Mom changing,” and – boom – there it was. Everyone in this movie is so good looking!

Holy crap! Blurry faces are scary!!!
 

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#4
11:28 PM

Whoa! She just watched “the tape.” That was really, really scary. AAAHHHH! My phone just rang and it totally freaked me out! Luckily it was just my friend Dorsey. Oh man – if caller ID had shown “unknown” – there was no way I would have answered that shit!

Dorsey and I talked about the government (we were politics majors at NYU together) for a few minutes, so now it’s back to The Ring. Eh, maybe I’ll play Playstation for a few minutes, I’m not ready for scary again yet.

Ok, back to The Ring.
 

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#5
12:04 AM

There are so many shots down hallways in this movie! Why is that so scary? It totally is though. Every time!

The argument that they just had while she was leaving his apartment on the elevator sounded so fakie. Lame!

Oh my God!!! The ladder from the tape! Lame argument: FORGIVEN!!!

This kid is still so totally scary and creepy! And why does every shot have to move in a way to make you think someone is sneaking up? Go easy on me, The Ring!
 

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#6
12:18 AM

Hey, it’s Brian Cox! He totally knows what’s up – why is he being so weird? And why does he have a hook!?!?

I’m so happy the Psychiatrist was nice and told us a little of what was up. I don’t think I could have taken anymore secretive locals. And awesome “top of your intelligence" by the tape room attendant in the mental hospital – that sort of thing is really appreciated!

What!?!? Don’t go into that dude’s house!!!!!
 

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#7
1:20 AM

Oh man! I’m sweating! This is so scary!!!

First of all, Brian Cox killing himself was so crazy! Totally nutso.

Our girl didn’t die! This happy ending is pretty awesome. I shouldn’t watch scary movies – we all know it’s not over – TiVo says we have 23 minutes left.

Oh no! That little kid is so scary!!!

Oh my God!!! Run away dude!!!

Oh – it’s like a chain letter! This movie is a remake of one where it was a chain letter, right? Do they have to show it to someone or just make a copy? Oh, Scary Kid just asked that. AHHHH!!!
 
Last edited:

mattpack

Like a fat kid love cake
#8
Epilogue

1:38 AM

Oh man! The whole time you’re watching you’re like, “Holy crap, I’m scared I’m going to die in a week,” and the end totally reinforces that. No fair!!!

I was so so so scared and didn’t think I’d be able to sleep at all tonight, but this journal, unlike a certain movie, has a happy ending. Right after the credits ended, there was a preview for HBO’s next big horror film: Ghost Ship. All I can think of when I hear about Ghost Ship is Jack, and just like that – no more scary! Hooray!


12:45 PM

I couldn’t fall asleep until 5:15 AM, and when I did it was with the lights on.

I’m such a freakin wuss.
 
Top