Improv Resource Center - Forums
I regard business as a necessary evil, I don’t like it and I never will. I’ve been working in a bank here in Dublin for nine months now, enough to have all of my worst suspicions confirmed. It’s reckoned you’re of the right stuff to be a manager here if you can slash your mother’s throat in order to sell her blood to the hospital. Words are always chosen to convey as little meaning as possible whilst maximising the arse covering confusion. I mean programming is cold, sterile and drips with greasy logic and I make no bones about that but it’s pure (not necessarily the programmer). The idea is always to make order from chaos, light out of darkness. Business seems to take the black and white, smudge them into a nice shade of grey, rules grey enough to ensure all but the scraps of money always goes to those who cut throats with the most style.
There are about thirty people working here and the majority of these put in long hours and work really hard. I would not be of the majority. I’m a programmer/fixer. I make little changes, wave my hands, do a rain dance to the gods and everybody thinks it’s the greatest magic ever. They pay me for this and I think that’s the greatest magic ever.
The company is foreign owned and they’ve decided to cut throats… I mean costs. There are middle-aged people here who’ve sweated their guts out for this company on nights and weekends. They’ve got families and mortgages and all of that good stuff I don’t have to worry about yet. They’ve been promised a fair and equitable redundancy package mind you. Quote the manager with her hand behind her back “Step up here. Take off that scarf and the garlic necklace too”
“Why?” asks the suspicious employee nervously fingering the crucifix in his pocket
“We need to examine your throat, part of a means test for redundancy, you understand?”
“Well…ok” and the employee shuffles slowly towards her
Hack! Hack! Slash! Slash!
“At this time we’d like to thank you for all the years of service and hard work you’ve put in”
Arrgghgh! Gurgle! Gurgle! Splutter!
“It will of course be noted on your gravestone… I mean record”
They’re going to keep a skeleton crew on here in the mean-time so I’ll be kept on too as the Gods only seem to listen to my prayers when the machines break down. I’m lucky, the IT sector is deader than dead with no hopes of been raised from the grave any time soon. So now I wait in tombstone central, wait for the tap on the shoulder and the swinging cutthroat razor as I look around. If I'm lucky I'll bleed all over her business suit before I go
uke:. Rats deserted the sinking ship but give them credit, they never stayed behind to finish off the crew first.
There are about thirty people working here and the majority of these put in long hours and work really hard. I would not be of the majority. I’m a programmer/fixer. I make little changes, wave my hands, do a rain dance to the gods and everybody thinks it’s the greatest magic ever. They pay me for this and I think that’s the greatest magic ever.
The company is foreign owned and they’ve decided to cut throats… I mean costs. There are middle-aged people here who’ve sweated their guts out for this company on nights and weekends. They’ve got families and mortgages and all of that good stuff I don’t have to worry about yet. They’ve been promised a fair and equitable redundancy package mind you. Quote the manager with her hand behind her back “Step up here. Take off that scarf and the garlic necklace too”
“Why?” asks the suspicious employee nervously fingering the crucifix in his pocket
“We need to examine your throat, part of a means test for redundancy, you understand?”
“Well…ok” and the employee shuffles slowly towards her
Hack! Hack! Slash! Slash!
“At this time we’d like to thank you for all the years of service and hard work you’ve put in”
Arrgghgh! Gurgle! Gurgle! Splutter!
“It will of course be noted on your gravestone… I mean record”
They’re going to keep a skeleton crew on here in the mean-time so I’ll be kept on too as the Gods only seem to listen to my prayers when the machines break down. I’m lucky, the IT sector is deader than dead with no hopes of been raised from the grave any time soon. So now I wait in tombstone central, wait for the tap on the shoulder and the swinging cutthroat razor as I look around. If I'm lucky I'll bleed all over her business suit before I go
uke:. Rats deserted the sinking ship but give them credit, they never stayed behind to finish off the crew first.