The Official Dan Dunford vs. Ethan Kaye Racquetball Recap Thread

Dunford

Among Men, Dunford
#1
So, here's the story.

I'm standing at center court, Midtown Manhattan - prime time. A virtual racquetball novice, operating at a reduced capacity because of an ankle injury of unknown origin and even more unknown severity. My opponent? Schooled long ago in the ways of racquetball, and prepared for this match beyond my wildest expectations.

My opponent's boyishly handsome face is squirreled into a mask of disgust and disdain. He looks at me. I stare back with the intensity of ten thousand blazing suns.

He queries, "what's the score?"

I respond back, "You know what the score is."

He sighs, resigning himself to his fate. "It's your serve, 14 serving 10. Game point."

I grunt back, "You're goddamn right it is. Also, your mother."

This is it, folks. This is the stuff dreams are made of.

I bounce the ball twice. Before I serve, I look up. No less than 2 physical trainers look down on my form from the balcony above with what can only be termed utter admiration and longing.

This is my one moment in time.
 

EthanK

Prestige format
#3
So here's the story.

I wait for Dunford. Wait, wait wait. Ready to play ball, but I wait for him to show up. Of course, I am early. But I am forced to wait regardless.

When Dunford shows, we head to the racquetball courts, unaware that Dan Dunford will be humiliated like an Abu Ghraib prisoner on an American holiday.

Granted, I haven't played ball in 3 years, haven't been to a gym since 2006, and haven't done anything more than walk around town for my exercise since 2007. But my head is in the game, my racquet is in my hand, and God is with me in my heart.

And also in my arm that was holding the racquet. Because I was damn amazing.

Game 1 went to Dunford, 15-10. If the match had ended there, I would have been proud. Double digit score after 3 years. But it wasn't over. Not by a longshot.
 

Dunford

Among Men, Dunford
#5
So, here's the story.

I'd just taken game 1 by a 5 point margin, which was impressive because I was playing on what seems now to be (at the very least, pending a forthcoming physician's report) a sprained right ankle (which is, not so coincidentally, my pivot ankle). It was made all the more remarkable by the fact that I am self-taught at racquetball, squash, and all other indoor racquet-based sporting endeavors; the intensity of the remarkability was then cubed by the fact that I was playing with a borrowed racquet that had NO GRIP.

(Yes, I'd had the choice of playing with a racquet that had a grip; however, I deemed this racquet "gay" dismissively. You see, I am a man; a man who will triumph over all odds and make adversity my bitch.)

Anyway, I quickly leapt out to a 2-0 lead in the second match. The secret to my success? Stunningly cat-like reflexes. (Not just any common house cat, either. We're talking puma.)

That's when everything went blank.
 
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