The Dirk Diggler Story

[Jarky]

Improv Turns Me On

"Somewhere along the line I knew there'd be girls, visions, everything; somewhere along the line the pearl would be handed to me."
- Jack Kerouac, On The Road

Life at the moment remains on a steady, if not slow, course to victory. I don't believe the true outcome of improv or life holds a metal for #1 despite some hats sold in truck stops. No, I believe that life/improv (one in the same, aren't they?) is won when you look back on the times that most mattered and cried in some form. Life/improv has been like that a lot. The journey more than the destination keeps getting more interesting, dangerous, seductive, and intriguing with every step forward.

Everything for OTW Salt Lake City is good to go...except we still need our greenlight from the Pickle Co. to perform. Tonight was our original goal, but it has been pushed back to November 8th. A meeting between the Trasa, the theatre company at the pickle palace, and OTW SLC members was supposed to happen today. Wires got crossed, people met in different locations, and some people didn't show up at all, they just needed a piece of paper set down on their desk. I hope the Pickle Co. is still as excited as we are. I understand that they are finding their footing after I brought them another improv troupe that was a no-go. They really need to make a decision so we can get going. I know these things take time, but the time is now. So take it. Above all, I'm just anxious to be on stage.

Come back...back...back...not that far back...to last night:

I still wish it was 10:00 P.M. last night in Ogden Utah. Nicole, Austin, Aidan, Kalib, Adam, and myself were admiring each other's strengths. None of us had any idea what was going to happen except that we were going to come out on top. The desination was known; the trip was going to be the fun part to discover. And you know what? It was a trip to find the trip. My God, I had so much fun. Our long form about peanuts was solid (it went against the main theme that made it a Diggler, but it's still one of the best Digglers I've ever seen). I had a great game of SAS, Overactors Anonymous, and Scenes-Not-Seen (despite the part when a huge chuck on saliva flew from my mouth and landed on a pretty girl in the front row -- Jarky's single ladies!). The best part of the night was being on stage, particularly with Adam, Austin, and Nicole. Those guys have a huge space in my heart for the type of people and performers they are. Another great aspect of yesterday was having Jady back in town. We had a nice long lunch together, which made me miss her, and then I saw her perform at Clearfield -- where I got to play a special guest role on Revolver with her -- leading me to miss her even more. She's great and doing just that in her home town at the present time. I had no idea what lay in store for me, but I'm glad I went. Taking time off from improv is good, I've found out. Yes, it makes you anxious for the stage once more, but it allows you a chance to re-group. Making your trip slow and luxurious isn't a bad thing, something I've only recently discovered...except in cases where you're waiting to hear back from a potential theatre. :wishy:

Another thing that I got to do this week is teach at the Wednesday workshop for Off The Wall. I haven't done that since early July with little kids. In some ways, it was harder teaching the adults. Jady said she heard from various sources that I'm the new Ryan in town. I find that not only hard to accept, but extremely flattering. I've always known what he's felt and gone through, but I've never had the experience of living in his shoes like I do now. The teaching went well, but it was sad to see the people who just didn't put as much effort in as you were. No matter how much you put out there they thought you were a freak, didn't listen, or questioned what you had to say. I'm fine with it though. I've learned to move on. I don't want to look back on life/improv, crying with disappointment. I want to cry with shear joy. It's been over a week since Lauren, in a non-verbal or showy way, rejected me. Can't get her back, even if I tried. She chose not to accept me, to block my idea and say no to the scene. It hurts. I had a really good idea for something we create -- don't let my porn star persona fool you into thinking it was sexual -- that will never see the light of day. I should have broke down. I should have thrown a fit. I should have been enraged at my nice, neat little shit mess I'd made for myself. But I wasn't and I'm not. Does it suck...yeah. Lots of things suck. However, I can't magnify the impact of those problems to outshadow everything good that's happening right now. So some people don't think I know my improv. Big deal. Others don't think I'm attractive or capable of affection. Couldn't be furthur from the truth. All I can say in the end is that the road took a turn I didn't expect. It was longer, bumpier, and more grantifying than I could have ever predicted. I no longer have control of paving the way, just surveying and shouting back without looking on my observations about the path laying in front of my feet.

 

[Jarky]

Pickle for a sex toy? No thanks.

"To be great is to be misunderstood."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hmm...I hope my quote doesn't apply to Hitler.

It's been a bad week so far and it's only Wednesday. My creativity has been off the hook, yet there has been no where to release it. Laine, Austin, and myself have not heard back from the Pickle Co. as of yet so I believe (along with my business partners) that the time has come to move on. I don't know if the Pickle Co. took us seriously. True, I came to them when I was looking for a place to perform with KYSOff. I let them fully understand that Joe was in charge. But when I bring them my own thing...well, who's to say why they don't seem to find my offer true. You move on, right?

In improv you cannot get stuck in a rut. I've found that there is always a way out. Whether it be by playing to the best of your ability, sticking with your character, or driving off the side of the road yelling, "Fuck! Why didn't I think of that when I was on stage an hour ago!" During this breaks from improv good stuff happens that I don't realize. My creative juices are following (Jady and myself have created a character for a 1930s movie I'm planning to write; it'll be a little like Uma Thurman working with Quentin Tarantino, though I'm no Tarantino yet) and I'm getting anxious, doubting my faith in improv...but really I'm not. Everything else has been frustrating me ($300 to turn off a "Service Engine Soon" light that has been on ever since I got my car; never had any problems before and suddenly I can't pass my emissions test with it on). However, I do feel I've returned to the feeling of creative bliss that I felt last year. OTW is moving, even if we can't see it, progress is happening. In fact, a week from Friday I am performing with a lot of the old KYSOff people whom I love at the new Bountiful location. And this Friday, I have a date with a lovely young lady.

What!? Jarky? A DATE!

Yes, it's true. We actually knew each other from years of theatre school. We were even in a play together where we kissed. She's great, it's just that at the time when we were getting to know each other best I was getting to know someone else as well. Things never happened, but this past Saturday (after taking the stupid SATs) Scott, Katie -- she's the one I'm taking out--, Austin, Nicole, some other people, and myself went to the annual "Rocky Horror Picture Show" event at the Tower theater. It was fun my second year, not as great as my first, and started to get a little old towards the end (four pairs of female breasts, that's a record for me though). Afterwards we all went back to Scott's house...and well, things took off from there. Actually, things could have gone much worse considering the fact that I ran into Kristen Bailey, a girl who stole nearly two years of my life that I wanted back. But that wasn't so bad. We caught up on each other's pasts ("Do you still hate me? If so, I don't know why..."), but once the party got hectic we went our separate ways. Nice to see you, but let's keep it like it's been the past few years.

Improv is like that too. It can consume you if your not careful.

We'll get a theatre. Soon. I don't know when, but soon.

I'll perform with OTW. Soon. In fact, next week.

And I'll get closer to finding companionship with the opposite sex. Friday. And you know what? It feels pretty good after all this time off.

 

[Jarky]

Put your hands up and just bob with me!

"Every moment is another chance."
- Tagline for 8 Mile

I don't know why, but for some reason I like this movie:

And I'm not even an Eminem fan.

Okay, I do know why this movie appeals to me. It's theme embodies the way I felt -- and the way I still do feel -- every time I step on stage. At that moment where he gets up at the end and has the entire crowd bobbing their hands along with him...I can't describe that feeling, but anyone who has ever done improv knows what I'm talking about. You've got to take all that anger, confusion, and frustration and put it into something spectacular on stage.

Finally, all of my frustration and struggle is paying off.

I have recently been told by the Speaking Ring Theatre Company (www.speakingringtheatre.org) that I am having a play produced which I wrote. I won an award for this play earlier in the year and now it's getting the royal treatment -- in Chicago no less. It was interesting because I had two dreams which surrounded the day before I was called. The night before I dreamed all of Chicago got a copy of my play and wanted me to come out and see it...being burned by the entire city of Chicago. I woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't get back to bed. After the day was done, I had become an award-winning professional playwright, something I've been working at for years, and I couldn't sleep because I was excited. The dream that night didn't feel real -- I was up all night.

Improv just keeps getting better.

I attended the OTW workshop on Saturday. I had a really good montage in the first twenty-minutes. I created some cool characters (especially in homage to The X-Files with Sculder and Mully). Also overstepped my bounds and did a Black Panther character at the Olympics. Still, it was sweet. Later in the rehersal, it became one cluster-fuck, but the only cluster-fuck I've been in that didn't hurt. After a while the pain subsided and we were just having fun. I'll say it again, that's why I love OTW, it's always been and will continue to be about the fun of improv.

Later Scott, Austin, Derek, and myself ventured over to Quick Wits Clearfield's workshop. I think we ran out of juice somewhere, but a second wind caught us towards the end and we all had fun. It was the first time since Septemberprov since I've seen Larry, whom I told, later walked out of the show that night when he was MC. :bleagh: Don't know what that's about. Speaking of people I haven't seen in a while, this Friday is the opening of OTW in Bountiful. I get to play with Austin, Scott, Lisa, Steve, Laine, and Emily (I think) -- it's like a KYSOff reunion. I miss all those people. It's good to know that things don't end in the improv world just when something goes wrong. You've got to find the pace again, pick it up from there. Hell, I get to see Jady and Ryan in about a month in Chicago, something I hadn't planned on doing for a little while longer. I can't wait. I know there is some stuff I should be wary about around the corner. You can't be on an emotional high for that long without hitting your head on the rafters.

I think what really has been helping is teaching with Laine too. Her kids make me feel awesome and it's great to see that they are finding such fun in something adults do. I really admire her strength to teach this art. She's doing a great job with it as well. Scott's doing awesome and he doesn't even realize it. He was killer at OTW's workshop (particularly in a scene with Austin, who kicked some ass too) and is helping us get another spot for OTW at the University of Utah since the Pickle Company is a no-go. Oh well, you move on, right? I don't know why I like 8 Mile , I just do. I don't know why I doubt my abilities as an artist, but I do. And I don't know how I'm going to deal with all this success on a lower-scale, but I am.

There, my bragging moment for a year.

 

[Jarky]

Horny on the Spot

"If you have guts to be yourself...other people'll pay your price."
- Rabbit Angstrom
John Updike, Rabitt Run

One of the most difficult things that comes with having the title of improviser is that you and everyone else feels the obligation for you to be funny. That the whole thing -- the concept of improv -- is constantly turns on. Never an unfunny moment. "Hey you do improv...be funny. Now!" The pressure feels like it's on a lot of the time, but when it gets down to the wire and you have to show your guns, improv is usually the one thing that will pull through.

Example:

Friday night OTW Bountiful opened up with a great show. Hell, even the cast was something to behold: Austin Nava, Emily Shepard, Laine Hindley, Steve Uribe, Lisa Anderson, Scott Curry, and me (it was an honor just to be a part of it). We were given the task of casting out the bait to the good people of Bountiful. Would they take to improv? Had Quick Wits or Who's Line...gotten the best of them before we had gained a chance to prove so? No. In fact for a mixed show of long-form and short-form, these people took to the long-form better. That's what we wanted and that's what we got. True, only 20 people showed up in a 70 seat theatre, but I was preparing for worse. However, the crowd stuck with us, had a good time, and generally was diggin' the venue which is an awesome black box theatre.

At the end of the show a couple of us felt bad. Emily, because she was leaving and that this would be one of our last shows together. Me, because I couldn't find my watch that I adore (I found it later in the sleeve of my jacket, stuck between my sweat shirt and coat . And Scott, but for a very interesting reason. He, Lisa, and a couple others felt that their long-form skills hadn't been polished in a while. More so, they felt that the ominious feeling that whatever they did on stage was crap in terms of improv. It was what they had been told the entire time they were with KYSOff and had set really high standards for themselves. But the one who broke the ice -- and mentality, I hope -- was Steve. This guy is fantastic about bringing out the best in himself and others. I'll admit that it wasn't our best long-form, just a montage, nothing big, but Steve pointed out that for a first show to grab people's attention we did a hell of a job. He's right. To a T he's right and I'm glad he said it because people's old mentalities don't matter now. Now, with OTW, we are looking for the fun side of improv. We'll know when we trip up, are slacking, or need to work on a certain aspect, but the warm fuzzy feeling after a show will not be taken away.
Like I said, it was an honor to be with these people from the past, some more new or unfamiliar than others, but it's the future that I'm really looking forward to. And after I found my watch (I know it's a little thing, but it was bugging me) I could finally see what was going to happen with OTW. It's going to be a small operation that makes a big change in Utah improv. Something I'm proud to say that I can be a part of.

 

[Jarky]

Mature Audiences Only

"Y'know at the time, in England, rebellion came hard. But in a religiously oppressive city, where half of the population isn't even of that religion...it comes like fire!"
- SLC Punk

An interesting thing happened a about two hours ago. It required me to take a stand and stick by my beliefs. To be perfectly truthful, I was happy to do it because it finally gave me a chance to put my money where my mouth was. It also helped to generate some ideas (or possibilities, that's what we'll call them) about improv's next move in Utah.

First, a recap of recent one-night stands with improv.

The past two weeks I have been rehearsing Edward Albee's play:The Zoo Story, a haunting, if not poetic piece of theatre, where I have a six-page monologue. I told my teacher, the director, I would only do it if it worked around my job, something I'm not proud of but I have bills to pay. She said sure, I'd be out of there by 5:00 p.m. everyday. This past Friday was our final rehersal, as well as a working day for me at 5:30, which is the time it was when I left the school.

5:44 p.m.

After tearing my pants and rushing to work at the Orbit, I was required to stay a little later due to my couple of minutes tardiness. No big deal, just as long as I got out by ten.

10:10 p.m.

The tearing of the pants had given my boss great glee on this Friday night and let me go earlier than he had intended to. I raced up to Bountiful to fulfill my duities with the lovely people at OTW.

10:36 p.m.

The recipe for a great show was in the works. A solid first half of short-form (that didn't go on long) and then a very good long-form. In a way I kind of felt like Troy, jumping in occasionally when I had something (or even when I didn't, but I'm going to try and mellow out next show). And only if our audience was over 15 people, then the show would have been wrapped up in a neat little package. Can't always do it; take what you can get. I can't stress it enough.

TODAY:

Now, let's cut to the present.

9:51 a.m.

I was sitting in class listening to music (because it's music listening) when an errand boy from the office came in with a note for me. I went down to the vice-principals office to half a talk about last night's play -- the opening night for The Zoo Story. Apparently, one of the parents in the audience was offended that at one point in time my character was a homosexual. Not only that, but he also kept a deck of pornographic playing cards in his house. We did not engage in any homosexual, or heterosexual acts for that matter, on stage, nor did we bring out an pornographic materials. A murder/suicide happens in which a character violently dies before the people, but hell, that was fine. It was the fact that Edward Albee, according to a vast number of people, might be trying to imply that a homosexual lifestyle is okay :tsk: ...which I can tell you, yes, that's the entire reason why he wrote the play.

At the moment, I'm waiting to hear whether or not we get to go on tonight. It's just one of those things that you can't believe is happening when they do. :bleagh: I know from being a playwright/actor that this is art, you have to present it in a truthful, sometime harsh light. And if you don't like it, leave. Seriously leave. That's what a couple of people did last night. It's happened before at KYSOff shows and once or twice with Quick Wits and Off The Wall.

12:48 p.m.

My Latin American history teacher, Chip, says "Hey, to all you improvisors!"

Now, this is what's rattling around in my head. Improv, prone to rauchy and provocative material by nature, is expanding under the Zion Curtain. With this new experiment with OTW work, a piece of art created in the modern day culture by the modern day artists? Or will it get shut down and padlocked like an Edward Albee play. There are too many factors to decide right now. This, like many episodes of Batman with Adam West, is a cliffhanger. A cop out, I know, but to tell you the honest to GOSH truth, I don't know how this one will play out.

 

[Jarky]

Mature Audiences Only, Part 2

"I wrote a hit play...And I'm in love with you."
- Rushmore

You can't win them all. The Zoo Story and The Copyboys Revolt have both been cut from the bill tonight. The Copyboys Revolt doesn't bother me so much because it's getting the prime-rib treatment in Chicago next month, but the other one...damn. I spent days and hours memorizing those monologues, finding the character. Guess that's one of the perks to improv. You do it once; they don't like it; it's done and over. They might find things later on to hate you for, but that's neither here nor there. I'm smiling right now, though, because I can't believe that at this age I'm a (somewhat) professional playwright who's work has been banned with the greatest: Mark Twain, Edgar Alan Poe, some of John Steinbeck, Voltaire, Burgess, McCourt, some Hemingway -- hell, that's something that takes a while. No, this is good. It only proves that I can rise above a generic high school play to something on a more adult level. I continuously learn things from performing. My movie at USC -- though funny at the time I wrote it -- had no place on film. A play I wrote last year is a quick fix tear-jerker and I didn't think I was that desperate yet in my career. I made one long poop joke during a blind-Harold one time and never again will that happen.

It's been quite the year for The Copyboys Revolt. January it won a prize by the Utah Theatre Association. February I got in the newspaper for my award. May, I get accepted to USC for the summer by turning in the review and copy of the play. October I send it to Chicago on a prayer. November it gets accepted and banned in the public schools all at once. And in December, a three week run professionally in the great city of Chicago.

And I wrote this thing at two a.m. in my underware. Who would have thought it would do this much damage. :jump:

 

[Jarky]

Gettin' Outta The Game

"Now I'm trying, Ringo, I'm trying real...hard to be the shepard."

- Pulp Fiction

Lately I've been feeling really alone. And rushed. A weird combination: alone and being pushed all the time. It feels sometimes like OTW SLC will never happen. I've got something in the works, but I don't want to talk about it for fear of the dreaded jinx. I guess, in a lot of ways, it feels time to move on to bigger and better things, but I can't leave.

I'm trying to remember what it was this week that put me in this mood. I think it all started when my family wanted to go out on Saturday night. I specifically didn't make any plans so that I could spend some time with them going to dinner and a movie. Just getting out the door was a challenge as my mother and father argued over some meaningless thing that I can't even remember. This put my mother in a sour mood. At the same time my brother was saying he didn't want to go to the movie because he couldn't find his bandana which was hanging out of the back of his hood. When my mother tried to inform him from the other side of the car this is the exchange that took place:

SAM (my brother): Where's my bandana?
MOM: It's hanging on the back of your hood.
SAM: What?
MOM: (not hearing) What?
SAM: Where's my bandana?
MOM: IT'S ON THE BACK OF YOUR HOOD ON YOUR COAT!!!
DAD: Can you just settle down? Sam, let's go.
SAM: I don't want to go with out my bandana!
DAD: IT'S ON THE BACK OF YOUR HOOD!!!
SAM: Where?

This is nice dinner conversation. Other nice dinner conversation happens when my family makes promises they can't keep to one another. Just last night my brother asked for two hotdogs for dinner -- this is not the first time his eyes have been bigger than his stomach. After eating only 3/4 of one hotdog and nothing else he said that he was full. I watched as my mother threw away the rest of his meal and then told him that next time he asked for two hotdogs she would only give him one. This promise, or more famous last words I should say, has been said numerous times. Not once have either of my parents lived up to threats like that with my brother. Always happened for me, but no my brother gets away with it. After dinner Sam went into the corner of the living room, laughing to piss my mom off, and took a dump on the carpet. He's almost nine years-old. He has ADD, but other than that nothing mentally wrong with him. I know plenty of kids with ADD would can make it to the toilet.

My family. I think we just need some time apart.

But I digress.

There have been some good things. OTW Ogden was fun on Saturday night. The long form was crowded and rushed -- there's where the rushing comes in -- but it had it's clever, small moments. A character of mine told his egg farming parents that they sucked for making Americans fat and that they couldn't kill me because it would be like frying your ovaries on a stove. That and I got to voice a squirrel dying a Shakespearian death. I don't know if I was aggressive with the audience because I'm usually not. I still had some ticks about the last performance I was in and I think I might have taken those impulses out on the wrong audience.

Utah theatre. I think I just need to see something different.

I know I'll always have a home here, but after sixteen years I want something new and different. People I love have moved on, places I used to go have shut down. This place is changing. I'm looking forward to seeing friends from out of town in the coming weeks because it's always nice to see people who've reached the outside of planet Utah. I think I just miss a lot of people and a lot of things. That's where the loneliness comes in.

But, when it comes right down to it, I just got to keep on truckin'. Can't walk the earth link Kane from Kung-Fu just yet. First, I need a nap. A long...long...nap.

 

[Jarky]

Wave of Change

"And suddenly it becomes clear what you should do and what you should have done a long time ago."
- The Salton Sea

The movie this quote is from is a bad movie.

It's a bad-B, art house, flashy, violent movie that has no morals in the end. It seeks to glamorize revenge instead of accepting grief. I don't agree with all the themes of it, but it's a fav of mine.

I also don't fully agree with the situation for Off The Wall, SLC, but I have a feeling it's going to be one of the best things I ever helped to put together. We finally have place...in the back of a video store (don't laugh...well, until the show starts) in Sugarhouse there is a small theatre for birthdays and such. It's like a minature Cinaplex with only 25 seats, but still, it's going to be a great place to do long form. True, I'm the one who found it, got the deal sealed, and was there when we signed the lease. And yes, it's true that I was hoping for something a little bit bigger to get us off on the right foot. Yet, I love the space. I love the people involved with this organization. And I love the fact that I can at least say that I helped to get it off the ground. Beggars are improvisors and we all know what beggars cannot be. It's exciting.

It feels like I'm all over the map this past week (literally and figuratively). The Copyboys Revolt premiered in Chicago on Saturday. I'm still waiting to hear back from the producers on how it went, but I have faith in my work. I've got to or all of these college applications which are being sent off aren't worth a damn thing. I got mine completed months ago, set them out for my parents to look over them, and not until it's crunch time to they take a peak. Then all these revisions -- which could have been revised months ago -- are done last minute. But in the end, USC's application is in the mail and I still have a few more weeks before NYU's and a couple others are due.

I just feel a lot of pressure right now. I really haven't slept that well for seven days so I'm hitting my wits end. Been working a lot to pay the bills, especially since the holidays are coming, and rushing around trying to help people help me even though they can't help themselves (these people are my family!). I got in a car accident yesterday -- I'm fine and I wasn't driving so that's the good part -- but when I got home I was not greeted with "How are you?" but "Why haven't you put such-and-such in your portfolio?"

In the words of Kurt Vonnegut: "And so on..."

But enough about that, let's get to the good stuff, mainly which happened between the days of Fri and Sat. On Friday I had a lovely evening with OTW Bountiful. Austin arrived twenty minutes late, but it was worth it when I got to do a scene with him about giving your soul away in an ice cream cone. It's actually been nice to have a chance to experience the experiment with Bountiful, y'know? Scott and I have a better since of direction as to how we want to run the SLC location. Bountiful is doing awesome though and those people are awesome. The other good news was that I finished my screenplay for Jady. After we both saw "Kill Bill, Vol. 1" she asked if she could be the Uma to my Tarantino to which I said, "yes." The script is about a lounge singer during prohibition and the man sent to kill her...then falls in love with her...puts his life on the line for her...and all the time she doesn't give a damn. Without a doubt, the strongest female character I've written yet. I can't wait to show her the rest when she gets here in an hour!

Yeah, I guess I could filter out all of the positive stuff and rant about my house being a shit hole (which it is), but I'm going to try and stay more positive than my last entry. I think I can't be a choser of what life gives me -- like on stage, you can't block it. You can't say "That's not an ice cream cone, it's a blow horn!" I guess I'm finally just seeing the game in my life at the moment. I see all the moves and I know the relationships and when I factor it down it's really not all that bad: Constant stage time with OTW, college applications finally done, school not bringing me down too much, holiday shopping done, doing well at my job, and a play running in Chicago.

In the words of Eric Idle: "Always look on the bright side of life [whistle...whistle...whistle, whistle, whistle...]

 

[Jarky]

Buttplug

"I'm sorry, man. Y'know, I-I-I'm talkin' outta my ass."
- Office Space

Quite the night last night. I was expecting a pretty normal show at Bountiful -- the regulars with the same format. Have some laughs. Create a few "Remember when"s. The whole kitten-cabootal, but like a good night of improv should, it turned completely into something else.

Since there were two high school dances going on that night in the small town of Bountiful, our audience consisted of about 13 people total (hey, if we get that many in Salt Lake we're set!) but it started off kind of low-key. Steve was MC and when he brought us all out the way he started the show was "...alright, so...whatta you want to see. You've all been here before." Again, kind of low-key, but we went straight into some head-to-head shortform. And for the life of me, I couldn't think of many things for World's Worst or Pick-up Lines. And I'll be honest, I'm not that ashamed of it.

Next we went right into JoKyR and Jesster's set.

Here's what threw me into a loop. I thought they were at South Ogden, hence there might be two long forms tonight that we could participate in. Now that I think about it, yeah, there were two long forms, but damnit, I wanted to be in both of them. JoKyR and Jesster was okay (actually, the funniest moment came when Joe kind of flipped off an audience member who was talking back to them. AND when he said "Pussy kids" because that's a dirty word and would offend the more conservative audience...whatever...), but I think they do better when the audience has power in numbers. Just my opinion. After their set, though, we got to do a Harold. It seems weird going back to the basics, but I have to remember that this is a new troupe with new people and we all need to work from the ground up. I have to remember that I do have some more responsibility over what happens to the troop. I feel like the gold watch has been handed down to me. My time to forge ahead the next group of people and explore new territory on my own. It was nice, though, to cover some familiar ground -- actually have direction with the improv instead of a following montage that never seems to connect full circle as well as it should. Joe and I did a scene about two diva-queen karate masters. Good stuff.

Oh, but the night wasn't over. Well, at one a.m. it kinda was, but the journey continued. You all know what I mean, let's not get overtly technical here. Jady, Jesse, and I went over to Scott's house. After a little talk -- and taunt for that matter -- we some how all ended up naked in the hottub. My first time with that. The conversation mainly consisted of sex, dirty things, etc. as it always seems to veer towards...and then I made my funny mistake.

At least I THINK it was funny.

Scott mentioned two things. I still I'm not quite sure what they were in reality but I heard "butt" and "plug". As I mentioned early, sex was the topic of conversation -- namely play things -- so I made the connection, with no pun intended, that a buttplug was some kind of love-making device. Laughter, laughter, laughter from everyone one in the hottub who'd lost his/her virginity. That would be everyone excluding me. And the sad/funny part is...I still don't know what Scott said. Probably never will. Oh, well. I'm sure I'll learn sooner or later.

Fun night though. Gave Scott some company while his roommate's in the hospital. Saw Jesse for the first time in a long time. And got to be lovingly teased by my good friend Jady.

Ah, do you smell it? It's the stuff improv dreams are quickly, made-up-on-the spot of.

 

[Jarky]

Papa's Gotta Brand New Bag

"The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage."
- Chuck Palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk is one of my favorite writers. One of my all time top 5 books is Invisible Monsters and he also wrote the book that the movie Fight Club, my all-time favorite-end-of-discussion flick, was based upon. His humor swims in dark shadows. His narrative straches dry against the readers ears. Looking through his eyes is to look through the eyes of a misanthropic nihilist and laugh. He's just a great writer, even if his stories sometimes fall flat.

The book of his which I am reading now is Diary. A central theme is about how art come froms pain. The protagonist is viewed as a great artist -- not by herself, but by those around her because she has had the shit hit the fan in her life. Funny how much of that seems true.

This was an article printed in the alternative paper in Salt Lake City last week about Off The Wall:

Friday, December 5, 2003
Some say much great comedy stems from unhappiness. Happy people may be fun, but they’re not funny. Consider this the next time you watch OFF THE WALL IMPROV COMEDY. All those people up there are secretly very, very angry. Wacky improvisational antics and celebrity impersonations could so easily mutate in to something darker, deeper and much more dangerous. You better laugh. But you probably will anyway, because it’s actually pretty funny. Uh-oh. Off the Wall Improv Comedy.

And if you hadn't noticed, this applies to many funny people. Look around you -- that guy's hilarious, but man, oh man, is he depressed. And look at her! God, she's got talent, but nobody gives her a break. Perhaps I'm being too harsh on those that I love, but let's face it, sometimes we got to bite the bullet. For me, it truly puts us on top of the world. To have the ability to morph pain into pleasure is something that even modern science can't completely put into a pill.

What brought this all about was reading Jake P. journal today about closing his theatre. Shocked the hell out of me, but if he really feels the need to move on that's his choice. Still, kind of sad to see it come to an end and I hadn't even known them for a year....

...Which leads me to the other thing that hit me....

...People from Quick Wits Clearfield will start attending more and more of OTW. Performers will have more time to focus on us. That means that will grow a large amount in a short time. It makes me sad and nervous, but happy in the thought of having a troupe that -- in it's own way -- works as an open house performance area for all interested in improv. My goal (and everyone else involved with OTW most likely) was never to exclude anyone. Always make them feel welcome. I guess it just makes the pressure go up a little more.

So, in the end, I hope that this painful experience will lead those involved with Quick Wits Clearfield to other opportunities. All of them are so talented that it would be a waste to watch them not use their abilities. On the other hand, I have to think back to April when KYSOff left Trolley Square. Had they not chosen to go on a long break I might never have gotten as wrapped up with Off The Wall as I am now.

And from the feeling in my gut, that's a good thing.

After all, we wouldn't be the funny, funny geeks which we are. :loopy:

 

[Jarky]

Just for the Record

Just for the record (no pun intended) Michael Jackson is not a member of our troupe.​

Niether are these guys, but they got some pretty good tracks.​

This is Off The Wall. Salt Lake City chapter opens on Saturday, December 20th @ 9:00 P.M.​

And it's going to rock the house.​

 

[Jarky]

Home Again, Home Again

"Be sure to drink your Ovalteen."
- A Christmas Story

Dear God, I'm so sick of the Christmas season. Call me a grumpy old Jew, but after spending eighteen hours of Christmas Eve Day in an airport being bombarded by diva screeching holiday classics and all-too-cheery flight attendents, I have about had enough. Hanukkah ends tonight. Christmas ended last night. Those who celebrate Kwanzaa do so without annoying everyone else!!! :loopy:

*whew* cool down, Jake...it's okay...it's okay...you've lived through this ordeal and much worse...why don't you explain to the nice people how nice a time you had in Chicago? Huh? How about that? Would you like to do that? Well, go right ahead.

Don't mind if I do.

All right, so it wasn't bad at all if you exclude the day of traveling home. In fact, it's been one of the best holiday seasons in a long time. And since I can't get out of my driveway due to all of the snow that's piled up like Al Pacino's cocaine stash in "Scarface" I'm going to relive the past six days in my head to put me back into that holly-jolly mood. :up:

I arrived in Chicago on Saturday night to a welcoming windchill and unhappy O'Hare patrons. My cousins picked me up, informing me that the weather had just gotten a little warmer for my visit. Sad thing is, now I know it's true. From the airport we went to Harry Carry's restaurant for some great food and the home to get settled in for the big day. My other cousin (the daughter of the two who picked me up) came home drunk/high/stoned/intoxicated/much more and completely surprised me by how much she had changed since I last saw her. Now, granted, we've only met each other twice, but at least I remembered her name this time. She's transformed from a timid daddy's girl into a loquacious, outspoken par-te-ing, parent hater. Nice girl though. I think once she lays off the critical analysis of everyone she'll do just fine.

Next morning I awoke to a cold wind, but no snow. After breakfast I was given a drive around tour of the city, from the lower south side all the way up to Northwester in Evanston. Beautiful city. We came home to get changed then headed out for dinner and then: CLOSING NIGHT OF "THE COPYBOYS REVOLT"! Ryan showed up with his two roommates, Matt and Dave, and slowly -- almost to the point of prodding -- we waited through three plays to get to mine. The excitement was almost about to tear me apart. Sure, we were on the fifth floor of a large theatre in some old black-box theatre, but who cared? It was my play (MY play) getting a chance to shine in the theatre world of Chicago. Pretty cool. The actual production was interesting. Maybe I was just expecting something different, but what I got was very pleasing. The set was made to look like something out of a Tim Burton film. Kind of cartoonish and playful, but not so over the top that it felt as if they were reaching. Does that make sense? That's about the only way I can describe it. Nevertheless, the man who played Perry and the woman who played Natalie blew me away. All of them (the cast, the director, the producers) were so inviting it would take a lot of effort not to enjoy the performance. And having been through those nine pages for almost two years, having the same vision in my head each time, it was a pleasent surprise to laugh at things you thought you were sick of. I know now that is a good thing. Afterwards I did a quick Q & A which was a lot of fun. I got to answer the question about how I got the idea and the trek this play has had over the past year and half. Really a lot of fun.

After the performance my cousins drove Ryan and I over to Improv Olympic. Again, I had a certain image in my mind of what it would be, but upon seeing it was taken back. It was smaller than I thought. And it wasn't exactly a theatre...but it was perfect for improv. We sat through "Powerball" which was amusing, but not exactly my particular brand of laughs. What came next -- what I really wanted to see -- was "Four Square". The only one I'd ever seen performed was by Austin, Troy, and Steve at Septemberprov. And while those guys had a great set, this was something to be seen. At points I couldn't breath because it was so funny. It was amazing how organic the whole thing was, yet it played to the crowd made up of comedy lovers and improvisers (not the same thing if you ask me). I can't wait to try something like it with Off The Wall. I think it would help in warming people up to long-form.

The next day I woke up late and read until Ryan got off of work. I met him downtown by a Charlie and The Chocolate Factory display. We went over to his house (so, so, so, so cool. I want to live there even if I have to sleep on the couch) and hung out until it was time to go back for the Monday night improv show. I must say, seeing Ryan again was a treat in itself. He seems much happier, productive, and more...I dunno...like he's in a place where he belongs do things he loves. That was nice to see. His college buddies he lived with were awesome too. Nice, welcoming, and they even came to my show when they didn't have to. Really cool. For dinner, we headed over to a place called Cozy ("What's for breakfast at Cozy?" askes David Cross, but it wasn't the same place) and then mozied on over to the IO. With this show, though still funny, it was kind of disappointing. Somethings really, really worked while others took awhile to establish themselves. I guess that's what happens sometimes when you have "the best of the best" playing. Expectations are high and egos fly. But, hey, for $12 I felt like I got my money's worth. Ryan and I spent the rest of the night wandering around Lincoln Park, drinking coffee, and eating dessert.

My final day was little slow, but that was okay. I went with my drunk/high/stoned/intoxicated cousin (though I think she sobered up today) to the high tech aquarium on the water. Some of the things I saw there I'd never seen before ever. Not even in books or on the Discovery Channel. Next I went with Ryan over to the Art Institute. Some amazing works of art...I just can't say enough about them. We both like the surrealism sections, but even the classical paintings and miniature room display was cool (if not a little repetative at times). We walked down Michigan Avenue, across the river with the snow falling and the lights beaming -- a neat mental image that will stick with me for a long time. Getting out of the cold we made it to our train and then said our good-byes. Like I said, it was great seeing my friend, I still miss him with everyone else that moves, but this showed me that it's not so hard to see each other. I hope this summer I can come back out.

And the final day...needs no explanation. I recovered the day afterwards -- Christmas Day I think it's called, but what do I know -- by doing my annual Yule Tide duty of helping at Saint Vincent De Paul's homeless shelter. This was the shortest year for me to work there. Sometimes I've started out by just taking the trash to the dumpster and at the end of the day found myself heading a project like "Meals on Wheels". This year was simple and short, which is good because it means that less people are in need of the shelter this time of year. I worked for about three and half hours giving out candy, greeting kids, and helping those who could only speak Spanish. There are times when I feel like I don't help out enough so it was good to be doing something active that gave back to the people who didn't have enough.

*whew* Now I'm worn down from writing all of that. Ah, but it was worth it. It's nice to sometimes not worry about so many things in the progress and get to enjoy the things you've actually accomplished. And as 2003 comes to a close I feel like I've done a whole lot. Most of it just in the past week.

 

[Jarky]

Recap Last Year

"You'll see. In the end it all works out."
- Requiem for a Dream

My skin has peeled back from my limbs. It sheds itself, layer after layer of stress falling off of my body. It doesn't hurt. On the contrary -- I feel like I've been wearing a Gortex straight-jacket in a VWB with the heat turned on full blast in June. Nice coat. Cool car. Wrong time of year.

Or should I say the whole year. I'm not made about last year or even look back on it with distain. I just feel like things are about to go back to making sense. I know, it's a weird thought, but years that end in even numbers 0,2,4,6, and 8 seem to be more relaxed. I have a better piece of mind. As early as fifteen minutes into this year I already felt more at ease mentally. But, like I said earlier, let's not put a bad face on what happened last year. Let's see 2003 in it's entirety. For better or for worse, here it goes:

January, 24th Quick Wits leave Trolley Square Live. KYSOff suffers heavily from the split which is full of mixed stories and sour relationships.

January 30th I am informed that I have been named one of the Best New Playwrights of 2002 by the Utah Theatre Association. A week later an article in the arts section of the Salt Lake Tribune about this accomplishment is printed.

Februray 14th-17th A year and a half of planning finally pays off when Congregation Kol Ami holds their 3rd Kinnus for United Synagogue Youth. A kinnus is when a bunch of Jewish teenagers go on a retreat to learn about modern Judaism in their lives. I was one of four chair members to organize the event.

February 28th KYSOff holds the very first show named: Fem Fest. It goes off wonderfully. Austin and I are ushers for the evening, doing our own improv show outside the theatre. This is the first time I've viewed him as a friend.

April 3rd The best improv festival (in my opinion), Trolley Brawl, takes place. A completely long-form show with three teams. A great night for improv.

Easter Weekend Austin, Ryan, JD, Linden, Meredith, and I take a camping trip down to Southern Utah. We hike, drink, cook, have our tent blown away, and get sunburned. Upon returning we receive news that KYSOff has been evicted from Trolley Square.

May 1st Ryan leaves for Chicago. A moment of silence is held. :angel:

Early June I finish the screenplay about my first (almost a) year in KYSOff entitled: Funny Business. Much of it is based on the people I know, but a rather large amount is made up. A tribute to the people I love.

July 7th-August 10th I attend University of Southern California's Summer Screenwriting Seminar. Write screenplays and watch movies all day. Meet William H. Macy. Go on the set of 24. Use editing equipment and cameras. Meet great people. Go home wanting more.

Late August Jady leaves for Chicago. A moment of silence. :angel:

August 27th I get hired by the Orbit Cafe after searching for a job for months.

September 6th My birthday. I'm a year older. Enough said.

September 22nd or around that time Joe announces that we won't be having KYSOff rehearsals any more (for the moment). He's waiting to re-group. Scott, Austin, and I think of ways to continue our improv experience and decide to make OTW Salt Lake City.

November 8th After a month of waiting I receive a call that my play (which won the award back in February) has been selected for a three-week run in a festival of one-acts in Chicago, IL. I'm can't explain how excited I am. Enough said.

November 9th OTW SLC is told by the Pickle Co., whom we were supposed to be doing business with, that we are not doing business. A few weeks later I come across Top Hat Video and it feels like all of our efforts are not in vain.

November 22nd My play (going to Chicago) and another one I'm acting in (written by Edward Albee) is banned by my school during our night of one-acts. I find out that someone really doesn't like or what I do. I feel only more motivated to write and act.

December 6th I finish a collaborative screenplay with Jady about a lounge singer in Chicago during prohibition. She enjoys it a lot.

December 21st I attend the closing night of The Copyboys Revolt in Chicago. I'm pleasently surprised by how well it is done. Couldn't be happier.

And the last week, we'll that's coming up next. Don't touch that dial or change that station. We got the final week of 2003 coming right up!

 

[Jarky]

Recap Last Week and 1/2

"So let me get this straight: you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women at the same time?"
- Go

Actually, as 2003 came to a close one of the most exciting week (and half) came about. Last Friday a huge snow storm plowed it's way through the Salt Lake Valley, supposedly one of the worst in ten years. It was pretty bad. And mine relationship with snow is, well, an interesting one. I enjoy skiing. I find sledding fun. And oh, aren't snowmen adorable? But I HATE driving in the snow, especially with a truck that fishtails like mad. It is my living hell that I should drive long distances in my truck in the snow. What are the odds that OTW wanted to have a meeting the next day up in Ogden about progress in the New Year?

So, Scott and I drove up through the snow. I was tense, leaning forward all the way to see through my windshield because my wipers are bent out of shape at the moment. We make it up there okay, if not a little late. The meeting is good because the last few weeks have been not so good. What I mean is that we're looking up instead of forecasting how we can fall down. Apparently, Bountiful and Ogden had to cancel their shows the previous weekend and SLC opened with great improv and nearly no audience. We discussed it, planned our course of action, and executed it with style. Both Scott and I agreed to stay for the workshop after the meeting. I really wanted to stay because this was my first work with improv for almost two weeks. I really thought about going because it looked like the snow would pick up again and I needed to get to the play Batboy: The Musical later on that night. We stayed, yet the results were mixed. My scene with Barry was not so hot -- he was doing great, I was getting back into my grove. The Harold we did later on was somewhat better, but not great. Bob-O and I had a fun beat about snapping limbs off which caused the other person to scream really loud. Bob-O said it was an honor for him to play with me since he was retiring for improv in the new year. I felt very flattered that we would say that (mainly because during the warm-up of passing the ball around I accidently shot a nasal object on his shirt. He was grossed out, but laughed it off so I knew we were cool. I was still embarrassed). After leaving the workshop -- it was perfectly sunny -- Scott and I made our way back down to the valley -- only now the sun was gone and replaced by a blizzard.

Oh, and Batboy: The Musical kicked ass.

This week turned out to be a lot of fun. Sunday was busy and fun at the same time. My first day back at work proved to be good. Despite the snow and me dropping a glass of water on a customer, it was a good business day. Later on Laine, Jesse, Jady, and I went to go see Lost In Translation. I still love that movie. And later that night, Jady, Meredith, and I headed back to the movies to see the very weirdly updated Peter Pan. Some of the people in the crowd were a little spooky too. What's a grown man doing my himself in the back of the theatre at a 10:00 showing of a children's film? No matter. Time with friends is always good. A bunch of us went over to Jesse's house on Monday night to play Cranium. Jady and I were on a team and came back to get second place after being behind for so long (the youngest people in the group get "Strangers in the Night" before anyone else ). Tuesday was the bris for my friend's baby and the final sending off of Jady back home. I still miss her, but I know she's having fun and doing good things in Chicago.

Now, Wednesday...

It's funny how you wake up without any idea about how the day will go and then it just takes you in an awesome direction. Scott and I got together early in the day for a business lunch. We then went around the valley passing out flyers for the OTW SLC show on Saturday. Exhausted, I didn't think I'd go out later on that night. Hell, it was New Years and we didn't really have plans, but I'm glad I did. Austin, Nicole, Heather, Scott, and myself all headed over to friends of Scott named: Dan and Cami. They had a very nice house and were equally as nice in letting us in on their festivities. We ate, we drank (only one for me; I was playing the part of DD), and burned a piece of paper with something we wanted to lose in the new year. The ball dropped and we all went nuts to bring in 2004. Now, fifteen minutes into the new year Scott or Austin or someone else gets the idea that someone should give me a lapdance. That person turns out to be Cami, the hostess of the party. Now, I felt a little awkward because A) Her husband was watching, B) Her husband had no problem with it and C) Because I've never had a lapdance before. But let me say, it was quite enjoyable. Beat the hell out spending New Year's last year reading a Hemingway book. I thought still that this ordeal might just be the highlight to end the night on, but no. We all went over to Ben's brother's house down by 9th & 9th where tons of people I love and have not seen for ages were. Troy, Abby, Emily (from workshops) Laine, Ben, Larry, Lisa, and Matt...all of them, among others were there. Matt and I had a long talk about finding inner peace which was cool. I think we was still in party mode while Lisa was feeling queezy. I drove them both to their car downtown after I was sure that one of them was sober. I think Lisa had gotten it all out of her system. Another interesting conversation I had was with Andrew, from Quick Wits Salt Lake. He told me that I was great in Decemberprov and that it didn't make him so ill-willed against long-form. That was nice because I've seen him around, but never really have talked with him. Not really that bad guy, if a little crazy in the head. We all stayed until about 3:00 A.M. and then I drove everyone home, tucked them into bed, and went home to my cozy bed. And absolutely great night for everyone all around.

Oh, I completely forgot. Decemberprov rocked (for me at least). I got up there late due to work, but insteadly was ready for a good time. OTW had a solid long-form that should have gone on longer, but what can you do? I felt like I did Jake Plumley justice in sending his theatre off with a bang. Austin, Adam, and Steve had a great set as did Bob-O, Steve, and Adam later on. Scott was disappointed in his performance, which wasn't his best, but I still think he was being to hard on himself. After the show, Larry and I went back in a kicked one more hole in the theatre to leave our mark.

Yeah, I got a good feeling about 2004. I'm really looking forward to everything that's going to come out of this year. And if yesterday is any taste of things to come, this will be, in the words of Frank Sinatra, "...A very good year..."

 

[Jarky]

Confusing Children with Angels

"And most people say: 'Well, if that was in a movie, I wouldn't believe it.'"
- Magnolia

Giving people another chance is important. In improv, giving your scene partner another chance at redeeming themselves takes effort on your part as well. They can set you up as many times as humanly possible, but you're the one who needs to knock them down. Story of our lives, huh?

The first time I saw the movie Magnolia, I hated it. Thought that it was a film which was made for the sole purpose of allowing boy-wonder P.T. Anderson to show off. Everybody around me always gave me looks when I expressed my distain for it. "What? How could you or all people not like that movie?" I just didn't.

Didn't connect with it.
Didn't relate to it.
Just didn't like it.
But after a while, I gave it a second chance. Now it fascinates me.

I feel like I did that same thing with Austin. At first, he and I had a turbulent relationship. That was mainly due to my arrogance. I didn't want to like Austin at first. He walked into the workshop a week or two after I had joined the ranks of KYSOff, having a good amount of improv under his belt, and just showed everyone what he was made off. Damn, he was good and I hated him at first for it. All that talent, all that ability -- who was he to walk in and look better than everyone else there (hell, he was better than anyone at that point). And when he made it into KYSOff after a few weeks compared to my three months, I nearly lost it. But then I gave him another chance. Or maybe he gave me another chance to not feel so jealous of him. He didn't have to...regardless, the opportunity came about for us to be friends. I'm so happy that it came.

Well, Austin's gone now.

I hate that. I really do. I can't imagine what life would be like improv wise, friends wise, and talent wise if I hadn't become friends with him. Who knows what could have happened to our friendship if I had given him a chance right from the start. Sure, I'd miss him now, but I wouldn't be beating myself up, regreting not getting more out of our time together. I do that too much. Regret not giving people a chance from the get-go. Then, in retrospect, I wonder not only where I'd be without them, but why I did it.

I mean, would I really have OTW without Austin's support? I don't know. We had a really, really good show on Saturday. About 18 people showed up so we were almost sold out. The improv was great too. So much fun to be on stage with those people (especially Luke and Lisa since I don't get to see them much any more). I felt bad having to charge other improvisors like Heather and Nicole to get into the show, but we had to do it.

Oh, and let me give credit to Heather because she deserves it once and for all.

Heather is another person I didn't a give a chance to right from the beginning. Now, I think she's one of the key people to in maintaining quaility improv in Utah. She has so much potential that she's starting to tap into and making a lot of good contacts. Heather has also been one of the nicest people to meet during my improv journey. She's given me free stuff from her work when she was under no obligation to do so. She's brought me up on stage as a guest player when I've been an audience member so that I could get stage time with Jady. Heather is just an all around good person. Even after charging her for the show she told me at Austin's farewell party that I have some of the best initiations among anyone. That made me feel great at a time when I thought I wouldn't. I've come to admire her very much.

I guess it goes back to what I've said before, the nature of the beast that is improv. The whole community is forever changing. You'll never see the same show twice no matter how hard you try. People have great walk-ons, but part of what makes them great is that they highten the scene briefly before they leave. Too many people going, but I have to let them go. Sooner or later, someone's going to have to let me go. So to all you -- Ryan, Jady, Austin, Emily, and others -- you guys are great. My blessings. I miss you, but when there's a callback it's going to be great. That'll be our second chance around. Hopefully, it will lead to a third, fourth, fifth, and so on...

So, what this all means is that I need to stop moping around, saying what doesn't really need to be said. I need to enjoy those who are still around me, and believe me, I do. I really do. Confusing children with angels is a lot harder than confusing regret or loss with time gain or things accomplished.

 

[Jarky]

Sing for the Moment

"My life, when it is written, will read better than it lived."
- Lion in Winter

My senior year is half over. I think I have a lot to show for it, but I wonder if it holds up. After all is said and done, have I really lived the first half of the rest of my high school career to the full potential? I dunno, but I hope so. Some people are making me believe again. Others have me doubting myself. But...no, I'm going to answer my question. I'm going to, damn it! I put myself out for a lot of people to give them something we both love. I have accomplish personal goals. I'm doing something that in the future will not only benefit me through skills and talent I have obtained, but create a lasting mark on what I created. The rough road still lays ahead.

The end of the semester also marks the end of Latin American history. I think it's been an interesting class. Didn't live up to it's full hype like I had imagined, but I did learn many things I hadn't before. I think we picked an interesting chapter of history to leave off at -- the modern revolutionaries. Che Guevara and Fidel Castro...by their late twenties/early thirties they had overthrown Cuba's Batista government. Very impressive, as it should be to anyone regardless if you're a communist or not. Are you? Just kidding. So, by 18 I feel like I've put a lot under my belt.

And yet, I still kick myself for the little stuff. I'm a slave to my insecurities. I swear one day they'll eat me alive. They don't usually get to me, but this past week has been rubbing a sore spot on my brain.

Last Friday I had a great show at Ogden. Though no long form was presented, I worked all the skills I had to make me feel good about securing my place as an improvisor who can truly be called original. I came up with stuff I couldn't dream of doing last year -- lines reserved for the brilliance of Joe Beatty or Troy Taylor. Yet, there I was. And even then, I couldn't shake myself of earlier in the day. I got a ticket (which I'm contesting tomorrow, by the way) as I was going to school because I apparently "rolled thru" a stop sign. But what about the fog? What about the fact that I didn't get actually pulled over for another block and half? I was kicking myself all day, even when I was on a date with a girl that I could be happy with, but will probably convince myself otherwise...the ticket wasn't the only thing throwing me off. I just looked across the table at my date and didn't think I'd ever be dating this kind of girl who I thought I knew better, but didn't. Like I said, weird and I don't expect you to understand. I just had to say it for my own benefit.

Maybe the City Weekly was right when it said angry, frustrated, sad people make good comedians. I've often believed that, but never wanted to try it out. Guess what? I'm living in it. My show was great that night after a painfully awkward day. I still can't shake the small stuff. This week, one of the members of OTW SLC became incredibly irritated with the current progress of the organization. I wish we could have talked more indepth about it before things were said and conclusions were made. And I have the sneaking suspecion that tomorrow night's show will be great. Except I don't know if we'll have as big of an audience after I made a mistake with the e-mail. Nothing big, but still embarrassing for me, as well as everyone with Off The Wall. I guess it's a good story. I guess I'll just have to wait a while before I get the publishing rights.

So who am? With Skaughttie (as the role of Fidel) at the helm with me, am I Che with a better fate? Or Larry David without the camera, but twice the improvising. The mix of emotions I got going is extremely confusing. But I still have people to remind me why I do it in the first place (something I need and cherish). Jady wrote me just to say "Hi" and it's good to know she's happy. Ryan's creating Trolley Brawl 2, which I'm excited for. Austin's beginning to settle in. And I got to talk to Lauren and Julia (her especially) for a long time. That made me feel good -- all of them.

So new semester is about to begin in the works of a new year with a new improv troupe. Vive La Resistance!!!

 

[Jarky]

Happy Together

"What am I if I am only for myself?"
- Hillel

There seems to be a lot of times when I do things for a good cause that end up making people feel upset or jealous. I never had any intention of putting someone down by what I had done. Just so happens that what I did -- the time and effort it took on my behalf -- makes them extremely upset when there is no need to be. Lately, I've been noticing that less and less, which is a good thing. And I know, with every reaction there will be an equal and opposite reaction. People will praise. People will shun. People will hit themselves. People will be people. I don't want to apologize for things like that anymore. I truly believe that is one of my weaknesses. It holds me back with the feeling that I must make everything right and take responsibility for my actions even when my heart was in the right place. That's not to say I'll never take my blame when it is deserved, it just means that what I do is for me and those around me and those around me can take it or leave it.

Off The Wall Salt Lake City continues to put out great shows. This past weekend we had Nicole, Heather, Scott, Joe B., and myself play, doing an organic longform followed up by a superb Blind Harold. The problem, like always, is not enough people coming out to our shows. We have twenty-five seats. On Saturday, only about eight or nine were filled. One of them, though, happened to be filled with Larry. Larry is a nice, dramatic, over-the-top, talented man who is not afraid to speak is mind. If he thinks something is shit that is what he'll call it. If what he saw amazed him to the core, rest assured he's going to say something about it. For Larry (who is heading the new troupe Mixed Company with Heather) to come take a chance on us when he's on a roll at the moment was extremely nice. It was even better when he expressed his opinion that we had a great venue, amazing talent, and need to get our ass in gear to fill those seats. In fact he stayed up the entire night and called me at 6:00 a.m. to give me some pointers about where to start advertising and how. For me, to hear a tough crowd member like Larry express his love of what I had helped to create was a blessing.

The part of the night that started to get me down was that we lost money. That's okay. I know it happens to everyone and it's not the first time I've donated my share to helping the cause. And it wasn't a lot, but every dollar is to help us on our way. Later on I went over to Scott's house just to get warmed-up (my heater had died the night before) and say "hi" to his roommate Mindy who's best friends with the girl I've been kind of seeing off and on again, Katy. The evening was nice, but then the big guns were pulled out. Mindy sat Katy and I down to express how we should be together (even though Katy and I had discussed it only a day before) because it would be the right thing to do. We agreed, but as the night grew I was getting ready to leave for my nice warm bed. Katy wanted me to stay, so I did, but she ended up spending most of the night with Mindy who I think was becoming jealous that we had finally gotten together. I don't know. It was a strange night. And not getting much sleep, I got up to go to work at 8:00 a.m. with my eyelids sagging to my knees.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Days including improv work just like a long form. You start out on the whim of a suggestion and by the end of the day (that'll be the name for this long form) you end up in some place you never imagined.

I have to deal with a lot of questions in my life right now. How can I get more people into our seats? How can I get more people to support and play with us? How can I be happy and make other people happy? I didn't plan on all of these sacrifices with starting up something that only goes for two hours every other Saturday. I've put a lot on the line for those four hours a month. I guess it's the modern day Death of a Salesmen conclusion:

It comes with the territory.

Yeah, it sure does. It most certainly does.

 

[Jarky]

Kill Utah, Vol. 1

"Cause I'm just a soul whose intentions are good/Oh Lord/Please don't let me be misunderstood!"
- Santa Esmerelda

Well call me [CENSOR BEEP], I've got a list of things to kill and Utah has finally come up.

It's been an interesting weekend thus far -- work, play, and duty all grace the edge of the ominous never-ending pit of life. Okay. Let's be honest, this pit of life is really more mystery than it is misery. Like the book House of Leaves, I'm searching for something inside an ever changing world. I've been falling for so long I can't remember, but it's kind of fun. Sometimes the fall takes awhile, leaving you the crank of a nicklodeon. The beautiful images move by to show a story of long forgotten characters. Their lifes, the world they lived in. Then the show ends and you've got to wait until you earn another nickle to throw down the slot. And really, who can't earn a nickle?

This weekend I believe I've split even. With sanity, with money, with respect, with hope, with all things.

I attended the Utah Theatre Association's conference for the first time in my high school career. I try to avoid it because many people who attend, I feel, take themselves too seriously. Yes, I agree that all the world's a stage, but I also agree with the end of the quote that we have our entrances and exits. These people never exit. Showtunes and over exaggerations occurred. I simply told myself that if I made it through the weekend spared of an ocapella redition of "Lean on Me", I'd be lucky. I was so close, you have no idea. Still, I'm making it sound like the entire weekend was a lose with nobody interesting and nothing learned. Not true. I took a few improv skills classes. Most of them were terrible, trying to each the basics in 80 minutes then trying to cram in some games that lasted 20 seconds at the most. The attitude was right on, though, because the teachers were enthusiastic about getting people excited to be improv lovers. Even Laughing Stock had a pretty good set. What really helped me was the pantomine class -- I've never taken one before and I think just the basics will help me. It was also cool to see Calvin, Megs, and Barry from Off The Wall up there. Megs thought I was a teaching assistant and took some convincing to make her believe I was eighteen. All good people and really fun to see them.

Now, the main reason I went was out of curiosity. My play The Game of Life, Love, and Tragedy was nominated by the Association to be one of the best of 2003. They would be reading all the nominee's selections, then have a talk back with the playwright. Most people had about 10 minutes of Q&A, but I got almost 45 minutes just because so many people liked it and wanted to know how it came into being. Really cool stuff. Riverton high school did a great job of performing it with all the cheese and corny factors that I had intended. And later that night...yeah, I won. I WON! I'm now a two-time Utah Theatre Association award-winning playwright. I sometimes have to stop and realize that. Another friend of mine, Talia, who I hadn't seen in almost a year also won an award for her play, Beowulf: The Musical, a very funny play that I got to do the reading for. I was so proud of her and of Matt, the other kid from my school, for winning. I think that's awesome that I got to be up there with them.

Now that I'm back, the shit about Salt Lake and Utah all hits the fan. Work was nuts with a server making eight people say they'll never come back. He later on in a flight attendent fashion told an entire table of thirty or so what their service would consist of. They even clapped. I got my money and had the boss say how much she appreicated me, so I'm happy about that. Work, of all things, is the least of my problems. I think it's great. Love it. We had our party last week and I felt at home with those people. It's the people who come in and give you crap for trying your hardest that make it difficult. The ones who don't act like you're there. That's when it becomes hard. Dealing with people is hard.

OTW SLC is planning to do some big things. I don't want to say anything. See previous entries for other neurotic supersitions like this. Some deals are going well. Others are bordering the pit's edge -- again, it splits even. Scott is having a hard time at the moment. His roommate suddenly moved out. His grandmother is dying. And now he has to take on half the weight of an improv troupe. I'll say this now, without Scott I'm nothing. He's helped me out, taken my side, and worked with me through problems along the entire improv road we've been on. He's a close friend who I admire greatly. I hope things in his life settle down so that he can actually pursue the opportunities he wants. I'm not scared for him. Just like me (and everyone else for that matter) want him to be happy. Another close friend who's name I won't mention seems to be in a dark spot now. She feels alone and worthless, but she's much better than that. If anyone can crawl out of that hole, I know it's her. Hard times all around. Even though we didn't really have KYSOff this summer, we had each other. I'm hoping in a few months, in summer time, things brighten up. Austin's e-mailed me. He's happy, so kudos to that.

At the end of the day or the weekend, I break even. Awards, money, accomplishments divided by disagreements, depression, and tragedy. Funny. I wrote The Game of Life, Love, and Tragedy as a comedy, but in the aftermath the real game and play remains a mystery. I've got a list and Utah's finally come up. Maybe things will be better when I leave. I don't know. I just want it -- and all the problems involved with it -- crossed off my list. I say I hate it, but I don't. I guess I just need a scapegoat, so sorry Beehive State, you're having you're arms chopped up. But, on the brighter side, it's in a comic style.

 

[Jarky]

Groundhog's Day

"Does it get easier?"
- Lost in Translation

HA! You all thought I was going to quote Groundhog's Day on the sole count that I put it as my title! Well, look at that now...it's a...a...another Bill Murry movie...HA!

I'll just say it right now to get it out of the way, but this was my favorite movie last year with another independent film called American Splendor. Both were great because they took the simplest concepts known to cinema and applied them in a different manner. They're beauty, humor, and all that jazz were lovely.

Lately I've been in a slump. Just emotional downtime. Raise your hand if your journal doesn't contain some passage of woe in the last month. It's been dark here in the land of Salt and Lakes. Cold winds swoop down from the canyons, brooding skys loom overhead, and let's face it: the snow is gettin' old. This last week has been especially difficult, but I say that not to prepare for a rant about my lot in life. No, no, no. I say that to put it behind me. I use this journal to reveal all the stress on my back sometimes, but now I want to put something out there instead of sucking it into the void. This past week has been mainly unproductive because of two reasons:

1. I woke up Tuesday and found that I'd lost the use of my vocal chords. It felt like they were ripped out of my throat, tenderized, and hung up in the butcher shop ready for frying. Not only did I not feel good, I couldn't talk to anyone.

2. I had minor surgery on my foot Wednesday to take care of an infection I had obtained during the summer. On a previous engagement I was told that it would be a brief session and I wouldn't feel a thing. Well, doctors try, I'll give'em that much. Yeah, I had to get 6 shots of anesthetic in my toe. 6 shots!!! With a needle this big:

Enlarged for Dramatic Effect...kind of​

So yeah. Walking around like Verbal Kint with a chest cough like the Marlboro Man for a few days can get you down. Add work and school and improv on top of that --

But last night gave me something to look forward to. I've come to realize that improv can always be applied to reality. It's a simple concept much in the way my movies of the year are. And to make that concept even more basic...just go back to the basics. After my medical pitfall of the past few days, I didn't really want to go host Mixed Company last night, but I'm glad I did. We sold out, helped fellow improvisors get on their feet, and gave some new people a chance to show themselves. We had two blackouts during the show which extinguished the entire three blocks around us. Yeah, the players had that much voltage to them.

Once the show was over most were saying they'd never felt an rush like that. It's funny how I'm about 6-10 years younger than most of them, yet I'm the one who ends up feeling old. But no, no, no -- we're going to stay positive here. Regardless of some attention problems, the group was excited to play. That means something. I remember nights at KYSOff when it felt like I was the only one who wanted to ascend the stage for my own enjoyment. I've gotten so caught up in the business aspect of things I forget how much fun it is to pretend in front of other people. Go back to the days of Cops and Robbers with an audience to play off of. So, applying that fundamental to life, I'm going back to the basics or at least trying to.

OTW is going places. Taking it's time, but it is getting there. We had to turn people away last night who were willing to pay for standing room in the back of theatre. I want to do that after selling more than 23 seats. That will happen. I had people asking me for information on the shows, wanting to come back. Our name is getting out there and people are curious. Yes, that's good. And me? I'm going to keep a theme from these entry going and that is do what makes me feel positive. Yes, it's an after school special. Everyone clap. I want improv to be back in the spotlight of my life with writing. I want to be honest with the people I love and take risks on the ones I want to love more. Basically, I don't want a plan at the moment. I want to have a surefire destination with as long and lanky as a path that is necessary.

Hope that wasn't too complex for you or me. Don't worry. The DVD will come with subtitles and director's commentary.

 

[Jarky]

No Scrubs

"Minor surgery is surgery done on someone else."
- My Dad

A lot of people in Utah have been putting down some dark, sad entries lately. I'd like to try and steer clear of it. God knows I complain enough to you readers. That said, I'm not going to completely censor out the darker side of life right now. The sky falls occasionally, but for the most part it remains fastened to the heavens, spread out like a canopy of ash (see mix the positive reality with a grim metaphor. The two cancel each other out easily).

Improv was a little messy this weekend, but we got the job done. I arrived late to OTW Ogden because I got out of Salt Lake later than I would have liked to. We didn't play "Late for Work", which would have been the ultimate irony, so I should thank my luck stars for that. Actually, Laine and my other team mate, Jacob, were a blast to play with. We had a scene about shaving weasels in Africa that yielded some pretty funny results. The longform could have been better (mostly longer), but I was still grateful for a chance to play. I just felt bad about coming up late and then not being able to hang out with the guys like I normally do afterwards.

I won't get into why.
It wouldn't excuse it.
All I can hope is the Derek and Caleb will not hold against me in the future.

Okay, now another case of mixing good with the bad and a dash of the disfigured. How should I start? Well, let me say this: I love scrubs. I love the TV show "Scrubs", I love the actual attire (yes, I'm calling it that). To me they are the sexiest thing a person can wear. What the hell was TLC thinking with that lame-ass song which came out a few years ago?

I mean really. I'd take woman in scrubs over lingerie any day.

Only today was not one of those days. I have what's known as pectus -- simply put I have a dent in my chest. It's looks just like the Salt Lake valley in many ways and gets a little bigger every year just like the Salt Lake valley. I've had this for 18 years and it's never been a problem. A few months ago I went into the hospital for a routine check-up on my condition. They told me at that point it looked like if I chose to fix my indentation it would be mainly for cosmetic purposes. Today I went into get the results of my CT scan. Turns out I'm in the top 20% need to have this surgery because it's pushing down on my heart which could complicate things in the future. Right now, from the X-rays I saw, it looks like my heart is a water ballon with someone stepping down on it with just enough pressure so it become lop-sided. Not exactly what I was hoping for...it really wasn't. Things were just picking up for OTW SLC and other things were going great...and now...

Okay, but let's be fair. The earliest I'll have the surgery is in April, around Passover (or Easter for all you gentiles). Around that time hopefully some things will be on their feet so that I can take a shot in the chest. Actually this so-called "minor surgery" involves cutting me up so that two bars the width of my chest can be inserted to raise my chest (Yo, dude, let's raise the chest, yo!). I really didn't need this at the moment. I don't want months of recovery while I try to work, graduate, and still have some stage time.

But y'know, this just happened and it's a little down the road. I've got some bigger fish to fry at the moment that will be mighty tasted when complete. And when it's all over I can be surrounded in sexy nurses dressed in the tightest scrubs telling me that even though I've lost my Kennecot shape of a chest, I haven't lost my dashing sense of impromptu humor.

Hey, this my journal and I'll fanatsize when I want to.

*Big sigh*