surreal thoughts

'Twas several nights before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stiring
Not even a mouse.

Especially the mouse.

As Chelle found out steping into the hallway to find one of the cats had left us a wee pressie.

Dealing with dead things first thing in the morning is not my ideal way of starting the day. But I gave the cats extra attention that morning. Good kitties


And now it's Christmas morning already.

Merry Christmas world!

Excuse me, but I have to go and bestow pressies on Chelle. And hugs and stuff.


Virtually half way through the first month already, where has the year gone?

Last Friday as we prepared to go out I went to brush my teeth and a cap from the rear one fell out.....
Into the sink.....
clink, chink went $700 of tooth. I rang my Dentist but he was in Australia! Which was a little inconvenient. It got put back in this morning.

I'm only posting this because for the first time ever when I had an injection it made my nose go numb, or rather half my nose.

Shaken..... not stirred

It was Chelle's first "real" earthquake this morning. Hope that is as real as we get for a long time.

Reference Number: 2354133/G
Universal Time: January 20 2005 at 18:56
NZ Daylight Time: Friday, January 21 2005 at 7:56 am
Latitude, Longitude: 41.09°S, 175.06°E
Focal Depth: 30 km
Richter Magnitude: 5.5

Within 5 km of Upper Hutt
20 km north-east of Lower Hutt
20 km south of Paraparaumu
30 km north-east of Wellington

Widely felt in the Wellington region.
yuk, yuk, yucky

Had to fix two water heaters this morning.

The second one was in a rather filthy flat close to the centre of town. An old house that had been converted into 3 flats.

I've been there once before, late last year to put a new stove in. The one that came out was so poorly cared for it was beyond repair. The one we put in late November has not been cleaned since the day we installed it - I sure would not eat anything off of there now.

The water heater was, oddly enough in a cupboard in the end bedroom, that backs onto the bathroom. Had to break into it because it had been nailed shut. No doubt to annoy the rats - there were two dead ones in there. yuk.

The bathroom sink did have a few white shiny bits of porcelain showing through, but it was mostly brown and slimy.

I changed all my clothes when I got home.
Thing that go bump in the night


I have a head cold.

which means I am all stuffed up and therefore not sleeping the best. This is not helped by being woken up by an earthquake in the early hours of the morning.

Reference Number: 2376455/G
Universal Time: March 13 2005 at 15:08
NZ Daylight Time: Monday, March 14 2005 at 4:08 am
Latitude, Longitude: 40.17°S, 173.63°E
Focal Depth: 150 km
Richter Magnitude: 6.4

80 km south of Opunake
90 km south-west of Patea
90 km south-west of Hawera
160 km north-west of Wellington

Magnitude revised after reception of further data. Felt throughout central New Zealand.

nasty things.
Worth a look

I stumbled across this the other day.

A site linking to new things.

some of the links are worth a look too.

so obviously I just had to "pass it on" so to speak

Especially the link about colour,
yes, that's spelt with a "U" on purpose.
I have this terrible habit of spelling in English.

Oh yes, the link
My ears hurt

I had a late job to do on my way home this evening.

No power in a small flat.

Spoke to the woman, or rather tried to.

She is one of those people who just cannot not talk.

I even know, thanks to the steam of babble that there is a ham in her freezer....
...... and that she does not like ham....

she lives alone.

Am I surprised?
Are you?

I will have nightmares about this woman.

Death by babble.
Mr Wonderful

Chelle and I went shopping this weekend, for among other things a pair of shoes for her. we did not find the shoes she wanted, but did find Mr Wonderful which she bought for her sister.

He stands about 330mm (13") high, and, when his hand is pressed says things like:

"Of course that dress does not make you look fat. How can anything make you look fat?"


"I've been thinking about you all day, that's why I bought you these flowers"


"Here honey, you have the remote. As long as we are together it dosen't matter what we watch"


"You know, I think it's really important that we talk about our relationship"


"Lets just cuddle tonight."

I have no idea who came up with this creation, but if it's marketed correctly it could make millions.
The fastest way

To come fully awake I have yet discoverered

is to stagger bleary eyed from your bed in the morning, headed for your morning shower, and put your left foot (it will probably work just as well with your right foot) into a cold pile of cat sick.

Just thought you ought to know that.

should not talk to people - and that includes display messages.

Now, as I fix machines for a living some may find this thought to be a little on the odd side, but there it is all the same.

I include in this our dear departed DVD player that when turned on said: "Welcome to Toshiba" - as if our house was now their property, or when turned off said "goodbye". Most people thought it was cute, but I always hated it. it said it's last goodye while Chelle and I were away in Napier for a weekend away.

The microwave in the motel said: "enjoy your meal" when things were taken out of it, but most annoying (or amusing if you are so inclined) were the public toilets in the little town of Dannevirke. E-X-E LOO toilets, with instructions posted on the wall as how to lock the door by pushing the red button, which when pushed,
A. Locks the door


B. plays you a recorded message telling you that you have 10 minutes before the door unlocks......
.....and then preceeds to play elevator music at you.

As you leave you are thanked for using E-X-E Loo.

I think next time I travel I will look for a good old fashioned tree.
Saturday Morning

On those Saturday mornings that I don't have to work, it's nice to spend an extra hour in bed waking up slowly. As usual on such days the clock radio came on at six as it always does and I listened to the news, then hit the snooze button every 10 minutes or so till the seven o'clock news.

At one point between the two news broadcasts there was an interview with
Sugar Ray Leonard, so it's not surprising that I ended up having one of those weird little dreams about a boxing match.

What is surprising however is that one of the boxers was trying to fight at the same time as steer the large flat bed trailer he was riding on, and that the other boxer was dressed as Sponge Bob Square pants.

It is however an interesting way to wake up.
Shark fishing

may not upset many people, but the practice of using hooked and live stray dogs and cats as bait probably does. I just had an e-mail from an old online friend in France on the subject.

This is done in Reunion Island, there is a petition form against the practice available to sign here:

The site is in French, but there are links to the petition in English and German.

is not everyones favourite time of year.

A friend of a distant cousin, distant in both senses of the word, they live on the Isle of Man, got so sick of kids knocking on her door the last couple of years wanting treats, that last year she made some for them.

Toffee Onions.

The Centre for Disease Control has released a list of
symptoms of bird flu.
If you experience any of the following, please seek
medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever

2. Congestion

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Aching in the joints

6. An irresistible urge to sh*t on someone's windscreen
Hmmm, I guess I have been rather lax.
Even after Sugar Snit travelled all the way down to good ole New Zealand solely to berate me face to face for poor performance in posting I still wait agesbefroe actually doing it.

Okay, so maybe that was not the real reason she came down here.
But it was nice to see her and Mr Cute Guy


One of my firms customers is Vodafone, and we have a contract for maintenance work on their cell phone sites. Most of which are in town but some of course are way out in the middle of nowhere so you have cell phone coverage when travelling. The last rural one I did took me a while to find, but eventually, with the help of some locals I got to the farm in question, negotiated the various farm gates and tracks and drove up to the hut. I was leafing though my paperwork when the 4x4 I had suddenly shuddered - I looked up and found I was completely encircled by cows. :bleagh:

One even stuck it's head into the drivers window (cow breath is not good let me tell you) But cows are timid creatures for all their size and they scattered when I opened the door and let myself into the compound and then the hut. I deactivated the hut alarm and came back out to see 20+ cows licking my truck!:tsk:

I guessing it was salt they were after, but it did mean I had to return Neils truck to him covered in cow slobber:rolleyes:

Oh, one of the cows turned out to be a young bull - but that is another story:pop:

I want a man whose handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks
I want him to be gainfully employed
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door
massages my back and begs to do more
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end
And always be my very best friend


I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit

We drove north this afternoon to do a spot of shopping, while passing one suburb i looked down and saw a couple of cars pulled over on the on ramp to the motorway. One had clearly broken down and the other there to tow it away. All perfectly normal so far, except the tow rope was a bit short of the tow car, so they were straining to push the broken down one to the tow car - UPHILL!
I have to wonder why it never occured to any of the five people there to roll the tow car backwards......