Subway stories
- Thread starter Glinda
- Start date
Depending on your perspective, this is probably gross.
So I'm on the 4 train about 2 years ago. The train's pretty empty when this fairly cute asian woman sits across from me. She looks like she's in her early thirties and is wearing a short skirt.
After a few stops I look up from my comic book (nerd, I know) and make eye contact with her. She smiles at me and the nudges her head down. I follow her gaze at that's when I notice.
This woman's not wearing panties.
So I'm on the 4 train about 2 years ago. The train's pretty empty when this fairly cute asian woman sits across from me. She looks like she's in her early thirties and is wearing a short skirt.
After a few stops I look up from my comic book (nerd, I know) and make eye contact with her. She smiles at me and the nudges her head down. I follow her gaze at that's when I notice.
This woman's not wearing panties.
In December I was riding the A train downtown, and there was a guy across from me tearing up garbage and mail and whatnot and scattering it all over the floor around him. He then pulled out a bottle of lotion, rubbed it all over his hands and then stuck his hands down his pants and started playing with himself for about five minutes, before screaming and freaking out. Then he lit a cigarette and started looking around the train at everyone and cackling, stretched out on the seats, finished his smoke and went to sleep. That's absolutely true.
Also, about two months ago there was a guy sleeping across from me, also on the A train, who woke up, walked over to the doors (which were closed since we were moving), and started peeing. But I guess he wanted to be polite, since he sort of cupped his shirt and was peeing into that. Of course the pee was sloshing around and making puddles and also soaking through his clothes. A couple of girls who I took to be tourists were screaming and freaking out about it, naturally. But I actually felt sort of bad for the guy, because he seemed kind of embarrassed, and like I said before polite in a really weird way.
Also, about two months ago there was a guy sleeping across from me, also on the A train, who woke up, walked over to the doors (which were closed since we were moving), and started peeing. But I guess he wanted to be polite, since he sort of cupped his shirt and was peeing into that. Of course the pee was sloshing around and making puddles and also soaking through his clothes. A couple of girls who I took to be tourists were screaming and freaking out about it, naturally. But I actually felt sort of bad for the guy, because he seemed kind of embarrassed, and like I said before polite in a really weird way.
I had a bum sit across from me and jack off on the R train while under the tunnel from queens to manhattan. You can't go inbetween cars and we were all alone, so I had to let him keep going, when Lexington came up...I took off and got into another car.
that was the grossest.
the wierdest was when a skitzoprenic woman came up and told me to make the dolphin noise like we used to when we would pick cotton. She then started making jokes about how the whitey's were all goin to hell. She then kept saying...please make the sound like a dolphin sayin that it was her favorite thing. everyone looked at me in anticipation to see what I would do.
So I told her that I couldn't right then, but when we got home I would.
She then started singing and the subway showed up. I made sure to get in another car...on the ride I glanced to the other car and noticed that the crazy woman was beating people up on the train, and everyone was smushed up against either end of the train. When we got to queens plaza, they tried to wrangle her, while she ran around throwing peoples belonging into the tracks.
All I could think of was...thank god i was her friend.
that was the grossest.
the wierdest was when a skitzoprenic woman came up and told me to make the dolphin noise like we used to when we would pick cotton. She then started making jokes about how the whitey's were all goin to hell. She then kept saying...please make the sound like a dolphin sayin that it was her favorite thing. everyone looked at me in anticipation to see what I would do.
So I told her that I couldn't right then, but when we got home I would.
She then started singing and the subway showed up. I made sure to get in another car...on the ride I glanced to the other car and noticed that the crazy woman was beating people up on the train, and everyone was smushed up against either end of the train. When we got to queens plaza, they tried to wrangle her, while she ran around throwing peoples belonging into the tracks.
All I could think of was...thank god i was her friend.
My first week living in NYC fulltime. February, 2002. A train. 3AM.
The train pulls up to the station, the platform is empty. From the doors I only see one guy on the train, he's homeless. Bing-Bong, the doors open and I waltz into the car.
As I walk past the homeless man, I notice that he is ignoring me...you see, he is furiously masturbating.
"Great." I walk right out the next door and am unable to get into the next car before the doors close.
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A year later, another homeless man was the "crazy/violent" guy on the train. He owned his half of the car. no one was sitting over there, everyone was crammed onto the other side. Since there was not much room over there, i decided to sit in the empty open space on the other side of the car...and thats when Crazy McHomeless starting punching seats/windows, started drunkenly dangling on the poles and spouting off something in gibberish. I was the buffer between crazy and sane.
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My roommate recently witnessed a homeless man/junkie shitting, while standing, into a newspaper he was holding under his ass. he kinda perched his leg up on the garbage pail and supported himself against the wall with his non-newspaper-shit-catching hand.
I love this town.
Will
The train pulls up to the station, the platform is empty. From the doors I only see one guy on the train, he's homeless. Bing-Bong, the doors open and I waltz into the car.
As I walk past the homeless man, I notice that he is ignoring me...you see, he is furiously masturbating.
"Great." I walk right out the next door and am unable to get into the next car before the doors close.
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A year later, another homeless man was the "crazy/violent" guy on the train. He owned his half of the car. no one was sitting over there, everyone was crammed onto the other side. Since there was not much room over there, i decided to sit in the empty open space on the other side of the car...and thats when Crazy McHomeless starting punching seats/windows, started drunkenly dangling on the poles and spouting off something in gibberish. I was the buffer between crazy and sane.
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My roommate recently witnessed a homeless man/junkie shitting, while standing, into a newspaper he was holding under his ass. he kinda perched his leg up on the garbage pail and supported himself against the wall with his non-newspaper-shit-catching hand.
I love this town.
Will
Masturbation, but of course every gal in this great metropolis has THAT story to tell.
Also, when I first came to the city I was waiting forever for a train and when it finally came it was packed. But there was one car that was completely empty. IMAGINE THAT! So being the poor trusting soul that I am, I boarded the empty car, along with a few other fools from the platform. And of course, predictable as it is, there was a crazy homeless man on the train. And the car stank like his shit, which was in the corner, and he had three huge trash bags (filled with trash) on the seats. He was kind of standing in his corner, in a trance. But he was so filthy there were flies buzzing around him. I guess they followed him underground. Did I mention that he had pooped? Well, he had.
Love,
Erin
Also, when I first came to the city I was waiting forever for a train and when it finally came it was packed. But there was one car that was completely empty. IMAGINE THAT! So being the poor trusting soul that I am, I boarded the empty car, along with a few other fools from the platform. And of course, predictable as it is, there was a crazy homeless man on the train. And the car stank like his shit, which was in the corner, and he had three huge trash bags (filled with trash) on the seats. He was kind of standing in his corner, in a trance. But he was so filthy there were flies buzzing around him. I guess they followed him underground. Did I mention that he had pooped? Well, he had.
Love,
Erin
A friend and I got off the train at Columbus Circle. As we were approaching the stairs there is a homeless man pissing at the bottom of the steps. I suggest we take the other stairs to the street. Bob says, "That's just Burpy. He used to pee on the subway car seats but the transit cops convinced him to be more considerate. He pees in the drain now!"
As we get to the steps I see that indeed there is a drain in the floor and most of the urine is going down it. In passing Bob passes Burpy a buck and says, "Nice one!" Burpy snags the dollar with his free hand.
Not sure which grosses me out the most:
Burpy peeing in public.
Bob's approval.
Cops toiletry training the homeless.
Or the absence of public restrooms.
As we get to the steps I see that indeed there is a drain in the floor and most of the urine is going down it. In passing Bob passes Burpy a buck and says, "Nice one!" Burpy snags the dollar with his free hand.
Not sure which grosses me out the most:
Burpy peeing in public.
Bob's approval.
Cops toiletry training the homeless.
Or the absence of public restrooms.
Although I didn't actually "witness" the act with my eyes, it was an olfactory assault.
I hopped on the L and sat down next to this guy and within 1.2 seconds I sprang up from my seat and moved to the end of the car - where everyone else was, I should have known it was suspicious.
He reeked, reeked, REEKED to high heaven of shit.
When he got off at 1st ave., the back of his pants were completely covered in his own diarrhea.
Eww. I'm going to vomit just thinking about it.
I hopped on the L and sat down next to this guy and within 1.2 seconds I sprang up from my seat and moved to the end of the car - where everyone else was, I should have known it was suspicious.
He reeked, reeked, REEKED to high heaven of shit.
When he got off at 1st ave., the back of his pants were completely covered in his own diarrhea.
Eww. I'm going to vomit just thinking about it.
I'm riding the N or R...you know, one of the yellow lines. My car is maybe a quarter full. While the subway's in motion, a homeless man enters from another car and yells (really, REALLY loud):
"YOU THINK I LIKE DICK IN MY ASS?! I DON'T LIKE DICK IN MY ASS!"
The homeless man repeats this over and over again as he walks the entire length of the car.
"YOU THINK I LIKE DICK IN MY ASS?! I DON'T LIKE DICK IN MY ASS!"
The homeless man repeats this over and over again as he walks the entire length of the car.
I was going home from work late one night. I got on the 9 at Christopher St. The car is pretty much empty, so I don't think about where I'm sitting. I flop into a seat and my hand comes to rest in a puddle on the seat next to me. Yup. That's piss. I litterally screamed like I was a little girl auditioning for a horror movie. I almost cried, then I rode all the way to 103 St. with a hand covered in rapidly drying pee-pee. Not a good night.
I think this thread should be in a different forum so those in other cities could see the pleasures of New York living. I bet there're some pretty good stories from Chicago, too.
I think this thread should be in a different forum so those in other cities could see the pleasures of New York living. I bet there're some pretty good stories from Chicago, too.
I agree to shepherd too-drunk friend-of-a-friend home via the subway 'cause we were leaving at the same time and lived in essentially the same area. I'm pretty drunk myself, and get worked into a nice little reverie what with the click-clack of the tracks and all. Friend-of-a-friend has his head in his lap the whole time.
We get to Union Square. I look over. He has puked through his hands onto the train floor. A man across the row and I share a look. "Well, we've all been there," I say. He nods. We get off.
A week later: I throw up in that very station. (Into a trash-can.)
We get to Union Square. I look over. He has puked through his hands onto the train floor. A man across the row and I share a look. "Well, we've all been there," I say. He nods. We get off.
A week later: I throw up in that very station. (Into a trash-can.)
It was October 1999. I'm on the N going home. Homeless man comes into my car. Starts his rant. blah blah blah please spare some change...blah blah blah...then he says, "New York is the best city in the world. Tonight the Yankees returned the World Series championship back where it belongs, here in New york City."
I am a Braves fan. The Yankees have swept them. I have found out on the train from homeless man.
I didn't give him any change.
I also once saw a homeless woman pee into a cup on the train.
I am a Braves fan. The Yankees have swept them. I have found out on the train from homeless man.
I didn't give him any change.
I also once saw a homeless woman pee into a cup on the train.
This wasn't gross as much as funny.
I had just moved to the city. I get on a 6 train heading to Wall Street around lunch time on a summer weekday afternoon. Not too many people in the car, but a nice mix - from suits (i.e. me) to homeless types.
An obese man gets on train at Grand Central and is wearing a short sleeve, button down shirt. The train leaves the station and he starts staring at himself in the reflection in the door windows and begins unbuttoning his shirt. I notice his nose is ruddy and the distinct odor of scotch on the air.
He turns to the rest of the subway car with his shirt open and his ample belly hanging over his belt and starts triumphantly slapping his voluminous stomach meat and flabby man-boobies like King Kong. All of a sudden he bursts out singing stock quotes to the tune of Bethoven's 9th Symphony.
"A-T-&-T, up 6 and a third"
When he's completed his mini-aria, he addresses the rest of the car:
"I just made $30,000 in one hour on the stock market and you people couldn't give a shit. That's what I love about New York City. We have millionaires and we have paupers and they could be sitting right next to each other on the subway. This is the greatest city in the world and I love it!"
He then went back to his singing and chest pounding until he got off a few stops later (not Wall Street).
That was a fun day. :up:
I had just moved to the city. I get on a 6 train heading to Wall Street around lunch time on a summer weekday afternoon. Not too many people in the car, but a nice mix - from suits (i.e. me) to homeless types.
An obese man gets on train at Grand Central and is wearing a short sleeve, button down shirt. The train leaves the station and he starts staring at himself in the reflection in the door windows and begins unbuttoning his shirt. I notice his nose is ruddy and the distinct odor of scotch on the air.
He turns to the rest of the subway car with his shirt open and his ample belly hanging over his belt and starts triumphantly slapping his voluminous stomach meat and flabby man-boobies like King Kong. All of a sudden he bursts out singing stock quotes to the tune of Bethoven's 9th Symphony.
"A-T-&-T, up 6 and a third"
When he's completed his mini-aria, he addresses the rest of the car:
"I just made $30,000 in one hour on the stock market and you people couldn't give a shit. That's what I love about New York City. We have millionaires and we have paupers and they could be sitting right next to each other on the subway. This is the greatest city in the world and I love it!"
He then went back to his singing and chest pounding until he got off a few stops later (not Wall Street).
That was a fun day. :up: