stuff/nonsense

[Lauren Snyder]

Forging the Streams of My Conscious

"TEMPORARILY YOURS"

So, right now I'm working as a temp.

Well, not right now as in this exact second -- I'm sick. But we'll get to that later.

I've been working as a temp with American Personnel since August. This is the fourth time during my two-year working career that I've worked as a temp. This is also the fourth temp agency for which I've worked. This is because I have a low tolerance for assholes, which is a difficult thing to negotiate with my day-job "career."

I seem to have a knack for going to work for complete assholes. It's like how some women always complain that they just seem to end up with the wrong guy, and no matter how they try to get a more normal relationship together, it's always the same story. So it is with me and the working world.

Since September I've been at a company in Whippany, NJ that is an ISO. That is ATM-business-lingo for people who are the middle-men in placing ATMs in gas stations and the like. There is only one other cool bit of lingo associated with my line of work ... they call convenience stores "c-stores." As I am fascinated with lingo, it makes the day a little easier. But not much.

The only other real "perk" at this company is that on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, they order lunch from a catering company for us. I am obsessed with free meals, probably stemming from college days when I was so broke I'd eat once a day, usually late at night. I found that if you wait long enough, hunger turns to nausea, and the nausea becomes more bearable. I tend to think that I'm a little willpower away from having an eating disorder.

Today I'm home sick with stomach flu. This is the fourth or fifth time I've gotten sick from the people for whom I work since I began temping again. MOTHERFUCKER!

I think it's a great big conspiracy to keep me from paying off my student loans. And I should know from conspiracies -- I own "The Big Book of Conspiracies." The story about MLK, Jr. is messed up. You should read it.

 

[Lauren Snyder]

"QUIT HASSLING ME"

When do fun things become a chore? I wish I knew a way to stop that progression, because there is always a point at which the things that I want to do become the things that I have to do. Once I forget why I used to do things, I start to wonder why I still do them. I'm being vague on purpose.

I'm really into "reality" stories these days ... not anything on TV, but nonfictional essays. I tore through all of David Sedaris's work, "The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing," and I read Dave Serchuk's journal religiously. I started "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" the other day and, though I'm involved, am not as into it as the others. Maybe because it's not that enjoyable at the beginning, since the author's mom is dying of stomach cancer. After all, aren't I reading these things as "escapism," both to imagine myself in someone else's life as well as to imagine myself writing about said life and winning the respect and admiration of my peers? I think so.

Sometimes I'm concerned that I start too many sentences with the word, "I." When I was in high school, this manipulative bitch whom I called my friend at the time called me out on this, and told me it was part of my narcissism. Unfortunately, back then I was always putting other people's needs, feelings and opinions above my own, and felt awful about it. Too bad I wasn't the narcissist I am now; I would've felt great that someone was listening that intently to what I had to say.

Do you ever get "too much comedy?" Boy, sometimes I hate being funny, because people start to expect it of you. Sometimes I will be completely serious around a group of improvisers because I don't feel like entering "the competition" that inevitably ensues. Who needs to prove that they have the biggest comedy dick, anyway?

I don't know the reasons for other people's journal entries, but mine are strictly for catharsis. I don't expect an audience; I just want to work some stuff out. (Whoops, there I go again with the "I"s. I'm such an egomaniac! :love: )

 

[Lauren Snyder]

CARING TOO MUCH

I went to an interview last Friday, and fell in love with the job. Do you know what that's like? It's a great feeling, all the more wonderful because of its unexpectedness. Everything about the situation was perfection, from the sweet location to their acceptance of my "price tag" to the very chill British guy whom I'd call "boss." Absolutely love at first sight. I hope that they call me back and tell me that I can work there. I don't think I could take the rejection.

My grandfather's in the hospital these days. Or, I should say, he's always in and out of the hospital these days. I know that he's dying, and I don't expect him to live out the year. You'd think that it would be better to be aware of a situation like that, so you could deal with it. I think I'd rather not.

When I was a freshman in college, I was diagnosed as having bipolar II disorder, which you could describe as "manic depression lite," if you wanted to be flippant about it (and I do). I was on meds for a year, and have been free and clear of them for about four years. The "coping mechanism" that I've learned to employ is to be as aware of my mood swings as possible, so I can tell if I'm getting depressed again and sort myself out. This gives me an excuse for the narcissism that I was talking about in my previous entry, since I'm just trying to keep it together. I think that I keep it together pretty well these days.

I guess that this journal will be serious sometimes. It's hard to maintain flippancy forever, especially for me. I just care too much.

 

[Lauren Snyder]

LATE AT NIGHT, THE THOUGHTS GET LOOSER

I think it's funny that almost every installment of this journal has been written after midnight. My psychiatrist once explained to me that after a certain time of night, you reach a state of drowsiness when your emotions are a little raw and your id takes over. The rule is to go to sleep before this happens so you don't go nutty. I always forget that rule.

Haven't heard back about that fabulous work sitch with which I fell in love. Damn it! I've been searching for a cool place pretty much nonstop since March 2000, and the job hunting scene's gotten really tired.

Speaking of tired scenes, guess I should apologise to my folks at Flipside for sneaking off into the night on Saturday. I'd been drinking, and I needed new stimuli. It was an interesting experience, doing a Harold while slightly tipsy. I noticed that I was a lot louder and crazier with the physical elements, but I had a harder time making connections. I think I play a better game while sober.

Having a steady relationship and being in love kick ass. -- That's all I need to say about that one. :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

TIME TO GET TO WORK

After 4+ weeks of being unemployed, I'm going back to work! I'll be at an office ten minutes away from my house, doing 9am to 5pm for much more per hour than I've ever gotten. And apparently they wanted someone "creative" (which is how you're billed if you're a theatre major with an all-over-the-place work history).

Of course, I've had only a few hours in which to adjust to this change of routine. I'm glad, though, and not just for the financial remunerations that are to follow. It'll be nice to be productive again.

Everyone talks about how much they'd get accomplished if they were home all of the time. For me, the more things that are on my plate, the more I get done. As of tomorrow, I have one day job, one steady freelance writing gig, one soon-to-start unpaid trial as a publicist for Gorilla Rep Theatre Company, two longform teams, a performance every Saturday for the next two months, one very patient boyfriend, and many friends that I never get to see. And still, I want more stuff to do.

It's time for me to start my first great writing project. I feel it like some people talk about the tick-tick of biological clocks. Maybe it's because I'm almost 25 and I believe that my project will seem all the more fantastic because of my precocious youth ... and if I wait too long, I won't be so precocious or fantastic. Maybe it's because I read David Egger's "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" and thought, "I'm just as pretentious as this guy." Or maybe ... I dunno. It's right. As soon as I figure out what it's supposed to be, I'll start it.

But then, it's already started in some form. Have you read Stephen King's "Misery?" The most interesting thing in that book, to me, was the protagonist's explanation of his writing process, because it seemed strangely similar to my own. This will sound exceedingly artsy or crazy, but I feel that my works of fiction and poetry have been composed on some level of my subconscious before I put them to paper. When I get the need to write (stronger and more defined than an urge), it's like an alarm going off in my mind, a kitchen timer signalling that the cake is done. And the words flow out, as if they've already been strung along and edited. I can't explain how I know this, but I do. And I guess if I could explain it, that would be even more crazy.

 

[Lauren Snyder]

BURNING BRIDGES AND STARTING ANEW

Quick journal entry tonight ... here are the highlights of my thoughts ...

(*) The receptionist at my job is, to use a Klausnerism, a cunt-rag. I had a splendid time being firmly but vaguely rude to her this morning. Normally I'm an exceedingly polite person who hates to offend, but some people bring out the devil in me.

(*) Some woman at my job referred to me as "the temp." I'M SURROUNDED BY CUNT-RAGS!

(*) Reading several other journals lately. Holy crap, Ari's only 26?! He's done so much more than me. More of everything. Hopefully, it's been within the last two years, so I can catch up. Not like it's a race; it's just nice to have people against whom you can pace yourself. Can't go wrong with such a brilliant guy as my life-racing partner.

(*) Starting my major project in less than five minutes! I have no idea what it's going to be, but I know that it's time. I've got two fountain pens at my disposal and am searching for the right paper. This is because I'm obsessively picky about my writing materials. Fountain pens are the only way to write meaningful things. They rip your thoughts into paper like stone carvings. I want some part of me to last forever.

 

[Lauren Snyder]

NAMEY MCNAME-DROPPER

Okay, I've decided not to be so stingy with my journal and do some name-dropping, as the people seem to love that stuff:

I went to see Optimist International tonight with Chris. Awesome, awesome, awesome! The kind of show that reminds me why I want to do improv. Brian and Seth are old-school geniuses. Rhea is so clever; I love the bizarre stuff that comes out of her mind. I could watch Dave play with his reflection all night. Chris is such a quality Jersey person who I'd love to pieces anyway; it's amazing that he's so funny on top of that. Yes, and the rest of the team, Shannon, Kevin and Tom were equally up to the awesome task. Am I forgetting anyone? Hope not. (Rob wasn't there, which is sad because I also think he's brilliant.)

After the show we went to McManus, where I hung out and talked to Erik, Marlena, Rachel and Kasha. Rob and Carlos were there but they didn't do much talking. God, I love my friends in JUICEBOX! and CORPA! Chris and Dave came in and I congratulated them on their show. On my way out, I said hi to Chris and Kim.

As I walked to the 2 train, I saw Joe and Helaine. We shot the breeze for a second, as I was on my way home and they were on their way to Cagematch. Kevin passed by with a bucket; we all said "hi." Then I caught the 2 train to Times Square and went home to New Jersey.

 

[Lauren Snyder]

FLIP TO THE SIZ-SIDE

I've never officially addressed my adventures at Flipside in this journal. This is odd since I've performed in every single show so far, and will perform every Saturday in April as well. (That's what happens when you whore it around with two longform teams. Improv monogamy is for pussies! :up: )

March 1st: performed with JUICEBOX! and Freeloader. It's nice to do double-duty in a show if you're a perfectionist like me, because then I can "fix" my mistakes. JUICEBOX! had its usual kinetic Harold, and Freeloader did a somewhat slow but funny La Ronde. Really great opening show with a sold-out crowd and fab stuff happening.

March 9th: performed with JUICEBOX! and Freeloader. The first time I've ever drank before a show, and the results were so-so. During my J-BOX! set, I was a little loud and hyper. Still was able to recognise games, but connections weren't occuring to me. Sobered up a bit before Freeloader, and had a pretty good two scenes with Will and Ethan. Another sold-out affair.

March 16th: performed with JUICEBOX! It wasn't our finest twenty-five minutes, but we had fun as always. We did do our best group game ever! Our coach, Jackie Clarke, stopped by to give us notes, which was super-cool of her. It was neat to be able to watch the other acts this time.

March 23rd: performed with Freeloader. My parents were in the audience for their second time watching me do improv since I took it up in college seven years ago. I was very stressed out that night about doing a good, "clean" show for them. The house was filled to overflowing, but there wasn't a great vibe that night. Freeloader decided to do a Harold at the last minute instead of our signature La Ronde, which was probably not the best idea. We did have the moment of the night when Joe started what is known as the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" group game.

March 30th: performed with Freeloader. Not a big house at all because of the holiday. I think we had about twenty people, although there were tons of performers to fill up the seats. The evening turned into a giant fuckaround, but most people seemed okay with it. I participated in my very first improv jam, and immediately saw the advantages and flaws of same. While it is very, very cool to be able to do scenes with people you admire, they aren't "real" scenes. I was able to perform with CORPANS Michael J. Cohen and Rachel Biello, Matt Decoster, Freeloader coach Curtis Gwinn and John Gemberling. The best of those by far was the one with Curtis, and I wish it was allowed to be a full scene because it was so amazing to work with someone with whom you feel so comfortable and you can trust implicitly. I also dressed up for the show and looked pretty hot, which seems to up the respect/attention level one gets onstage. Maybe my signature look from now on will be a miniskirt and knee-high boots. (Watch out, you Switchblade Pussycats! )

I'm excited to see what's in store for Flipside in April ... :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

LOUSY, LOUSY, LOUSY

I just found out today that a friend of mine from college is HIV-positive. He's the first person in my life to carry this illness. I'm really mad about it. Mad at the disease, but mostly mad at him for being a fucking immature idiot. Anthony is one of those people who's spent every minute since coming out in trying to bed as many guys as possible. A total and complete scenester, which is retarded because he never used to like the scene. Apparently, he knew that the guy was HIV-positive when he slept with him. Oh, and when he got the test results back, he was also told that he has hepatitis and syphillis. Anthony is 22 years old and he's going to die because he's a fucking self-destructive, selfish idiot. And it's making me goddamn cry.

*****

I am very stressed out about my relationship with my boyfriend right now. We need to talk about it, and it will be fine as soon as we get it out. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll see him before Thursday, if then. It's obnoxious to have to carry it around with me. I'm sure it's no picnic for him, either.

*****

Unhappiness abounds. The only thing to cheer me up is the news that Katty Biscone is coaching JUICEBOX! tonight. I have a big heterosexual crush on her, meaning that I think she's so the cat's meow even though I've never talked to her. I hope that I won't go too far into "I must impress you!" mode during rehearsal.

*****
People are reading my journals? Craziness! :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

ADDENDUM

Katty is an awesome coach! Now that JUICEBOX! has lost our guiding light Jackie, we were going to try out a few people and see who we wanted to lead our team into greatness. But today went so well that we're trying for a "second date" (Keong's terminology) with Katty next week. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this works out ...

*****

On Wednesday, I'm performing in HUMP NIGHT. It'll be cool to be back on the UCBT stage. I have no idea how this variety show thing works, but I figure I'll just do what my director tells me. I'm performing in a sketch that Rebecca wrote in Armando's Sketch-Writing 2 class. I get to play Joan Crawford's bitter daughter, Christina Crawford. ("No wire hangers -- EVER!") It should be fun. :up:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

ROCKING THE L.E.S.!

Okay, it's probably really cheesy to say this, but it's my journal so why not ... Freeloader and JUICEBOX! were awesome on Saturday! Actually, to be fair, Freeloader was awesome and JUICEBOX! was amazing. Now, I'm the toughest critic when it comes to improv, and especially with my own work, but last weekend's show was magical. Part of the props have to go to the audience, though; we had great crowds. It was so much fun to perform to that kind of house!

Most of my pride centers around JUICEBOX!, though. I've been through incarnations of that practice group for a year now, and it's so rewarding to work with people long enough to form that oft-talked-about group mind. Although we've had some roster changes due to people getting on UCBT teams (congrats Julie and Oliver!), I feel that we're the strongest we've ever been. Yay, J-BOX! rocks! :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

PAUL MOTHERFUCKING MCCARTNEY!

I was lucky enough to see Paul McCartney tonight at the Continental Arena in East Rutherford, NJ. It was a kick-ass show, very Beatles-heavy with about two WINGS entries, two other misc. solo album songs, and I think five from his new album. Three hours of classic rock goodness. Mmmm ...

Oh, and I think I'll mention Chris Butler, just because I know he likes to read his name in journals.

 

[Lauren Snyder]

Killing That So-and-So Called Time

Once again, it's Sunday night and I'm doing everything but writing my news articles for Show Business Weekly. Eight hundred words is not a big deal, but I make it one. About a minute ago, the epiphany came that I'm procrastinating because I don't even like writing the news. That's the job they gave me, though, and at the time, I was happy that anyone was publishing anything I wrote. Now that it's become a steady, poorly-paying gig, I'm not so joyous.

I'm trying to stick it out because I believe that it's a good exercise in writing what "they" want you to write for a paycheck. If I'm going to break free from the tethers of day job employment and become a full-time freelance writer, it's going to be a world of shit assignments. My goal is to last until August, getting a full year of experience under my belt, and shop myself around to the next? willing? customer??

My articles always appear on the top half of page five (except for the last two weeks, which I took off). The first time I saw my writing there, I laughed. Not to crib from Schoolhouse Rock, but 5 really is my magic number. I was born 5 minutes to 5:00am on 5/5/77. My parent's house is #5. My first serious boyfriend's house was #5; we met at the Geraldine R. Dodge Poetry Festival in 1994, which had the Figure 5 poem by Gabriel Garcia Lorca(?) on its promotional poster. I fell totally in love with the fifth guy I slept with (although it didn't work out). Okay, getting pretty personal, I'll stop ... the point being that that number appears way too frequently in my life merely to be coincidental. If I ever ask you to guess a number between one and ten, that's the one of which I'm thinking.

Dave Serchuk may notice that I often update my journal about an hour after he's just written in his. Reading his journal reminds me to write in my own. This one's for you, D.

Every time there's a new installment of my journal, it has about 30 views. That means that the same 30-odd people are perusing it. Thank you, loyal readers. :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

ARS GRATIA ARTIS

Every time I'm in a highly theatrical milieu these days, I get a little standoffish and mean. Maybe I'm a bit jealous of the people who do all the work to be professional actors. Maybe I'm sad that it isn't me doing all of those things? --

I used to be an actor. I say, "used to be," because I don't really consider myself an actor anymore. But I was so hard-core, one of those kids who started performing at 3 and has been in countless plays, dance recitals and chorus concerts. High school was all about shows, and with one in the fall and one in the spring, I O.D.'d on it. College was even more intense, as I was a theatre major and acting all the time. From age 11 to 21, I did two to four plays per year, every year. That was what I did. That was who I was.

Then in the first half of my junior year, I started to burn out on it. I even took a semester off to figure out if acting was what I wanted to do with my life. My instincts told me to turn to improv, which I'd started doing in college and loved. I've done some plays since then, but the acting drive has never been as strong. It flares up from time to time, yes, but as more of a wistful thought that a concrete wish.

So I get really weird when improv classes and teams necessitate my entering into the "theatre world" again. Tonight was a prime example, my first class with Shira Piven. -- Shira, by the way, is a very focused and kind person. I felt very comfortable with her immediately. -- The class is held at the New Actors Workshop. If you've never been in there, it practically smells like Pretentious Artist. My mind was doing off-colour commentary on everything I saw. I claim it's because I can't stand the snobbery that exists among many "serious stage actors" ... but is it really my own snobbery?

Wow, dark truths are getting revealed in this journal! :blush:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

THINGS FOR WHICH I AM GRATEFUL ...

1) that the UCBT has provided me not only with a stellar improv education, but a new and wonderful circle of friends.

2) that JUICEBOX! is performing seven times this month. It's so nice to be able to practice your craft before an audience! Sometimes I'm guilty of whining about all of the stuff I've got going on, and I have to remember that a year ago, I would've killed for the opportunities I have now.

3) that an organization in Manhattan might actually hire me on Monday, meaning that my years-old wish of moving to NYC may actually come true!

4) that Show Business Weekly has enough faith in me and my writing abilities to send me to cover the TONY Award Nominations announcement at Sardi's on Monday morning! Interestingly enough, I was going to call them this week to scale back my commitment to them; I'm glad I didn't make that call.

5) that I have a wonderful and loving boyfriend who is also fun to be around. Often I've had to choose between someone whose company I like keeping and someone who cares about me. It's nice not to compromise.

6) that I can get all of this out in journal form.

7) that I will be 25 on Sunday, and I've got all of this going for me. :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

JOURNALISTS AND CHEESY PR PEOPLE

Flipside was pure awesome. For the second time ever, I tapped into that place where I could "see Harold." Sadly, it was in the first beat of my JUICEBOX! set. Where the heck do you go from there?! It was still a decent three beats, but the rest of the performing that night was not nearly as rewarding for me.

It was a lot of fun, though. This weekend was craziness! I'm one of those people who seeks attention but is embarrassed by it once she gets it. Maybe you could say I'm an extroverted introvert? Or would that be an introverted extrovert? Anyway, three days of birthday took me over my limit. Next year, I'll be living in New York, and will plan one day of events, rather than a marathon NY friends/NJ friends/my parents/my boyfriend series.

BTW, the room number that I was in to do karaoke on Saturday? #5. (see prior journal entry for relevance)

And just for the record, Chris Butler has a really nice apartment!

***********

Today I spent part of my morning at the Tony Award Nominations, aka SchmoozeFest 2002. I'm not a networker, so I just stood there and wrote down sardonic notes about the proceedings. Despite my feeling morbidly out of place and uncomfortable with all of the ass-kissing, it was pretty cool to be there. I was within sniper distance of Jennifer Jason Leigh, who was so completely gorgeous and bubbly and blonde, almost what I'd picture Marilyn Monroe to have been like in front of the press on good days. JJL is a big idol of mine, and I'm glad I wasn't closer to her or else I would've squealed like a little French girl when she came to the podium. Steven Weber was just kinda there. Who cares about you, buddy? You were on "Wings" -- she's a movie star!

 

[Lauren Snyder]

THOUGHTS WHILE DRIVING

I drove home for lunch today, as I do every day lately, since I work ten minutes away from my home. Perhaps it was the cloudy day, or perhaps it was weighing on my mind that I'll be working in New York again as of next Wednesday, but I got into a reflective state ...

-- Going home for lunch is nice. It makes work not as stressful, because your abode's within escape distance.

-- Driving is the thing that I will miss most about moving to New York in August, apart from having available food and a cable modem. And it's something I never thought I would miss. A few days before my 18th birthday, I got into a car accident which shook me up pretty badly. I swore that I would never drive again, that I didn't need to drive, anyway, since I'd be moving to NY or Chicago post-college-graduation. For the next four years, I barely drove. Once I got back from Penn State, though, it was a necessary evil. Then I learned to love driving again.

-- The only good "alone time" I get anymore is when I drive from place to place. I am able to talk to myself when I am upset and need to sort things out. I can practice singing karaoke for parties. I can sit and drive in silence, just being mindful of the task of driving. It's important to take your calm where you can get it.

-- The best driving music by far has to be by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I especially love driving to "It's Good to Be King," "Free Fallin'" and "Runnin' Down a Dream." :love:

 

[Lauren Snyder]

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THIS WEEKEND ...

1) There is absolutely such a thing as too much improv. On Saturday, I had a chicks-only workshop/rehearsal from 12-3pm, a rehearsal for a new improv project from 3-6pm, a JUICEBOX! team meeting from 6:30-7:30pm, shows at 8pm and 9:30pm at Flipside, and then a midnight show at Surf Reality. I peaked from 3-6pm, sad to say, and didn't really have "it" back for the rest of the weekend, except for moments during the midnight show (with the Star Wars scene that Dave mentioned in his journal) and the JUICEBOX!/CORPA Armando after our benefit show this evening.

2) I always forget how much I dislike being wasted. The UCBT-hosted graduation party was a good time, but it would've been much more fun for me if I wasn't so completely high/drunk that I had to concentrate on staying awake. I remember all that happened enough to know that no apologies need to be made, but still I wish that I was just a little more sober so I could've had more fun.

3) Erik Tanouye, in addition to being very smart, kind and funny, is a brilliant dancer.

4) You can't be intimidated by your team mates. When I had rehearsal for the new improv project, there was a certain person there who had previously subbed for one of my Level 3 teachers and who I think is a great improvisor and coach. My first thought was, "Oh my God, I can't do a scene with him! I'm not worthy! I'll mess it up somehow and it'll obviously be my fault because he's so much better than I!" Because of that intimidation factor, I did my first scene with someone with whom I'd worked before. In all, I did three scenes that day, and each one was pretty quality. (All of the scenes were awesome that day, actually.) Now I realise that I wouldn't have been asked to do this if the powers-that-be didn't feel that I was ready. I guess I should believe in myself a bit more ...

5) I really appreciate the company and comments of Scott Jennings. He is one of the most honest people I've ever met, and though it can sting sometimes, it's good to hear the truth. -- But he's still a jerk for making fun of me in his journal. I saw that, Scotty!

 

[Lauren Snyder]

CELEBRITIES IN OUR MIDST

I have a hard time negotiating the idea of "fame" and "famous people." My problem stems from a massive dose of television as a child, which led me to believe that there are two kinds of people: those you see everyday, and those you never see except on television and in movies because they are famous. Sometimes I would explain the phenomenon of normal people rarely seeing famous people as the result of celebrities living on a different plane of existence, or maybe just a faster one, like in that ST: TOS episode. They're still in our world, but moving at an accelerated rate of speed.

Now I realise that human interaction can be broken down into social circles. Incredibly famous people travel in one circle, B-movie stars travel in another, etc. -- and they only intersect when someone crosses from one circle to another. The more circles one crosses, the more likely they are to get to the exclusive ones.

After graduating from college and spending time in New York and at the UCBT, I made friends who had friends who were on television. Then my friends were on television. Then I was on television. The progression was swift, and as frightening as it was amazing.

Every time something like this happens, you are shifted toward the more glamourous social circles, and as such, you start seeing more celebrities. I've gone from seeing no celebrities in my first two years here to seeing one every few months. The whole process is freaky.

Of course, the most bizarre occurence in my entire life so far has been the burgeoning celebrity of my former two-year-college-roommate-turned-TLC-hottie Amy Wynn Pastor. Did you know she was a presenter this year at the Daytime Emmys?

Here are a few things about Amy Wynn ...

*She was the biggest tomboy as a kid.
*She moves around a lot when she sleeps.
*She's really into vampire movies and James Dean.
*After finding out that I hadn't seen "Some Kind of Wonderful," she sat me down and made me watch it.
*When she's really upset about something, she'll start to laugh instead of cry.
*One summer day, we went to lie out in the sun, and ended up making obscene sand sculptures. There are photos.
*She was one of my closest friends at college, and now we don't talk.

With me, there's always a habit of romanticizing friendships that haven't continued. It doesn't make things easier when you see that friend all over the place. My mother cuts out articles about her. I miss her terribly. I'm so happy for her. I'm very jealous. Those are my feelings on AWP ...

 

[Lauren Snyder]

RECAPS

BETSY AND KATTY'S "HOS BEFORE BROS": Very fun show. Sometimes I get all starstruck over the fact that Katty is JUICEBOX!'s coach.

SUMMER LOVERS: What a tremendously good/bad movie! Peter Gallagher and girlfriend Daryl Hannah go to Greece, meet this French chick, and soon they're all living in a rented villa and PG is sleeping with both of them. Watch him complain about the place being messy even though he's having sex with two hot women! Listen for the use of the song "I'm So Excited" to punctuate his feelings on his new living/loving situation! Laugh at the decadent 80's-ness of it all! ... Or maybe it was just so entertaining because I was watching it to kill time.

EPISODE II: I've seen it twice now, and I love it. The most surprisingly good thing to me was the cinematography, which was more developed than in any Star Wars movie to date.

FLiPSiDE: Good show with JUICEBOX! Had an interesting experience when I hit the back wall after my first beat, and realised that I was playing a Rachel Biello-esque characeter. Very freeing because I found it easier to heighten and explore through the character than ever before. Maybe I should steal from the awesome comedy ladies of NYC more often ...

ROB & KASHA'S MEMORIAL DAY BASH: Had a nice time observing Scott Jennings at his bit-happiest. Made a pie that never set, and obsessed about it for hours. Noticed that Rachel's Canadian accent comes out more strongly when she's under the influence. Spent quality time with Kasha's cat Zelda.

MEMORIAL DAY (tomorrow): Will be enjoying the fact that I won't be doing anything. There used to be a time when I treasured going to rehearsals. Now, although I still like rehearsals, I treasure getting a day to myself that I can waste on whatever idle pursuit first catches my interest.