So long UCB idiots!

[Satan-O-rific]

The blatant hypocrisy and undeniable stupidity of the Harold Team Comittee has forced me to post this.

I don't know where to begin. They said they would hold auditions and they have not. Mullaney said that one of the worst things about IO was that you would walk in and there would be a list of new teams or changes to established teams, and that's how would find out you'd been cut. They are doing that.

They don't want teams to eb talent heavy. God forbid a team actually have all talented people on it. Let's spread it around and fill the rest of the teams up with shit. There are maybe four good teams at the theater, but the shitty ones get to stck around cause the comittee are a bunch of pansies afraid to upset anyone. So they keep people around who just can't improvise. They aredestroying the credibility of the UCB and everyone thinks so. People are scared to confrot you tyrants because it means they will be kicked off teams of never put on one. That's because you have gone mad with power. You consider yourselves above reproach.

A bunch of sycophants will post that i'm wrong. They are all liars. The people in the levels are scared of you. The people on teams are scared of you. Few people like you. This isn't directed at the whole comittee. I don't know what goes on inside the comittee. Billy Merrit is trying to screw up the theater. He only cares about his agendas, pet teams, and money from his outside projects that he doesn't want anyone to know about. Mullaney is mad with power.

I hate the theater and am glad to be gone. I can't wait till a new theater opens where the people in charge aren't idiots. Where are the UCB? Don't they care?

Screw you all. Have fun on your crappy teams just because some of the swarm is afraid you might do better than them. These new teams are shit teams, punishment teams, and you all know it. None of you care about anything. Not improv, not the theater, only yourselves. You cut good people and put crappy people on just because they are black or a girl or been around forever. Who knows? You are all going nowhere fast.

I'm not going to name names. I will call most people on the new teams pieces of crap. They are just waiting to make new teams, but they keep Dr. Awesome around? they are worse than Beautiful Cop. Neutrino sucks. Ninjas and C.H.U.D. sucked from day one and never got better. Fire Hot Burn sucked. Monkeyidkc is stating o suck and Pound barely is above sucking.

Why? Because they put on three or four good people, then the rest are shitty people. Keep fucking with teams Billy Merrit an Kevin Mullaney. Keep driving the theater into th ground. Go to hell you idiots.

Hey Kevin "Gestapo" Mullaney. Don't bother trying to find out who I am you greedy hypocritical loser. Go back to trying to screw your students you disgusting pig. People talk Comittee, and they are talking about you. You are so stupid. You have no idea how people really feel cause you make them scared. You don't want to know the truth. Go on scewing up teams. I hope Matt Besser or any of the UCB who don't give a shit about the theater come see a show and see how you are screwing up their theater. Harold nights SUCKS!

 

[benorbeen]

Another dram of Wild Turkey, Satan?

 

[funnyerik9]

But Satan...

how do you REALLY feel?

 

[benorbeen]

IP Addresses are a wonderful thing.

So's love, according to Michael Bolton.

No, Satan, fuck ME!!!!!

 

[funnyerik9]

So I'm thinking....

Since UCB and Improv Olympic are schools, maybe the reason "shitty" players are on teams is so they can learn to be as good as you? That's how I learned. If you don't need to learn anymore, then you don't need the school anyway.

And the only way to get what you want, really, is to start your own theater. More power to you.

-Erik

 

[Ari]

You must be awesome!

I can't wait to meet you. I don't know who you are, but you speak with the courage of your convictions and you must be hilarious.

It should be easy to figure out who you are. All I'll have to do is figure out which brilliant, admirable improviser is not on a team, or just got cut even though they're brilliant, and I'll have you.

Let's see.... hmmm... you must be.... er...

Huh. That's odd. I'm drawing a blank. Well, I'm sure this is easy, but I don't have time right now. I have to go focus on treading water and keeping my team just above suck-level.

 

[Rob Webber]

Dude . . . bro . . .

I don't know you, but maybe you have put a little too much faith in a school to get you somewhere. It happens all the time at Second City. You spend all your time, money & effort on something . . . and they just don't care!

Unless you are one of the .005% (I think Peter Gwinn posted something like this) who actually gets "discovered" doing a harold or a SCTC class, you should probably just count on yourself. Form your own group. Start your own thing. Be your own boss.

IO, Annoyance & UCB Theaters all started this way.

 

[Gwyn]

Can't speak for UCB

BUT, we just shook up the teams out here, and decided that, rather than try to even out the talent on all the teams, we would actually LET a team full of ALL talented people exist.
Because, the other way, spreading it all out, seemed to do exactly that; promote 6 mediocre teams and no really great ones. No one was emerging to be awesome.

So I don't know. It's hard and unfair anyway you do it, it seems to me. Someone always falls through the cracks. It's awful. I don't know what the solution to this problem is. Seems like it's been tried every way possible.

On the other hand, again, I don't know the criteria there, but out here it was not only talent but commitment. We had a coaches/teachers meeting and it was made very clear that these two were equally important.
You could have talent coming out your eyeballs but if you blew off rehearsals or were late all the time, or didn't make the team a priority, then you wouldn't make it.
The hardest was with the people who were the opposite. SO commited, SO dedicated, wanted to do this more than anything, but just weren't getting it. Or had been around a long time and still weren't improving. THAT was awful.....but what can you do?

Anyone have suggestions? POSITIVE suggestions?

 

[benorbeen]

Originally posted by Satan-O-rific

A bunch of sycophants will post that i'm wrong. They are all liars.

Yea! We've proven you right! You've got a gift, kid!

Sycophants pretty much are liars anyway.

 

[Gwyn]

The other question of course is...

if you're leaving anyway, why bother hiding behind a fake name to post this?

Just curious.

 

[benorbeen]

Fake name?? Someone say fake name? I think it's pretty obvious that it's Satan!

Or Fat Elvis.

 

[goldfish boy]

curious...

Say, Satan-O-Riffic, did you by any chance bother to approach Mullaney or the others and try to discuss your concerns before writing your little emotional outburst?

and if not, why not?

MJC

 

[ptolemy]

$75 seemed like the right choice when voting
but that was more of an impulsive decision
if it really WAS a one time chance to work with someone...
and i felt like they had a lot to give
i imagine i'd be willing to pay more like $100 for a one day workshop

 

[Whines]

Not that Satan-o-riffic seems to be want a logical debate, I offer a few of my opinions as rebuttal:

Caring about the theater does not mean viewing it as a warlike world where people must be viewed as weak or strong and destroyed accordingly.

Even if you were sane, hypothetically, it would be unfair to judge the Harold Committee when they are only now starting to make changes to the teams. Unless I'm forgetting something, until now they basically approved Monkeydick, broke up Beautiful Cop, and moved three people, right? So let's give their plans more than a day before rendering verdicts, psychopathic or otherwise.

If members of The Swarm on the Harold Committe were really afraid of teams being better than them, wouldn't they be smarter to break up teams like Respecto Montalban and replace it with the Freeze Tag All Stars or something? Instead, they work with and possibly help teams that are having trouble finding their footing.

Also -- complain all you will about a given team on a given night, or ever in a given few months, but the quality of Harold night overall has unquestionably risen tremendously over the past 2 years. There's no reason to think that the teams and the shows won't continue to get better just because you don't agree with a given round of roster changes.

Finally, the process of developing Harold teams has also gotten better. Granted, I'm not privy to people who decide. But since the Solo Arts days it seems to have grown from an almost random selection of people, to teams chosen by Armando -- the teacher who at the time was watching all of the new team shows -- to teams chosen by a committee of the theaters best and most frequent performers. That seems to be a system growing to handle the increasing demand.

Not to mention the fact that the people you view as crappy might be good.

I'm sure there's plenty of room for improvement on Harold night and the process, but rants like yours are simply tiring and ultimately pointless.

 

[Jake Fogelnest]

Dear Satan,

My dick is bigger than yours.

Thanks,

Jake Fogelnest

 

[Dunford]

An Open Letter To Satan-O-Rific

Dear Satan-O-Rific,

I'm a terribly impressionable young improviser and, honestly, I'm glad you chose to speak up here. I would like to be just like you. I'm even going to pick a name like you! Maybe you can help me.

Once I have a cool name, watch out, all of you! I'll show you bastards what for!

http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?threadid=1001

(I am not a very creative person, so if my suggestions seem to suck, help a brother out.)

...ooh! look, kittens...

 

[James Eason]

I modified my original post to focus on the most pertinent points:
What's the matter? Billy didn't hug you after class? Mullaney wouldn't loan you money for a lifelike latex fuck toy?

People often perform differently in Level 3 classes than they do in their New Team shows. Further, people often perform differently from their New Teams shows than they do on their newly assigned Harold teams. What can you do? Joe Montana wasn't drafted until the 3rd round and Ryan Leaf was the number one pick a year or two ago. It's an inexact science and everybody is doing their best.

I'd also like to object to your calling the Committee "old." As someone who is over 30, I'd like to say on behalf of all people (not just UCBT people) over 30, I will ruin your f*cking life with the worst ass kicking you've ever had. Seriously, I think I can get Rob Riggle in on this (he recently marked his 31st). Hell, if I get Riggle involved it won't matter. Old? Hah! You should be doing half as well as the over-30 set at the UCBT. Excuse me for a moment, I have to take my prostate medicine.

And, by the way, are you insinuating that only the "crappy" people on teams are either women or African Americans? Are there no crappy white males on teams?

In closing, I'd like to say so long and sleep tight.

-Eason
p.s. Jake's dick isn't only bigger than your dick it's bigger than your arm.

p.s. the English language made this post possible.

 

[Jake Fogelnest]

Eason,

Will you loan me money for a lifelike latex fucktoy?

Thanks,

Jake Fogelnest

 

[DucoGranger]

Ok, Ill be the first to admidt that I have absoulutly no idea any of the politics involved in this issue. Hexh I still dont have a clear picture of what a harold is in the first place. But reading this post has brought 3 words to mind.."Quit your whining!!"

What are you, twelve? You're never going to accomplish anything sitting behind that moniter singing your sad song to the entire board. Go talk to this committy and tell them what you think. But if you do manage get up the courage to talk to these people do one thing for yourself. Dont go calling them idiots or morons as soon as you walk into the room, they know a whole lot more than you do or you would not have even been there in the first place. All you would do is show your own stupdity.

 

[Spiro]

what really matters is that douglas adams has passed away. that's what we should reflect on.