"Hi Lorne, my name is Laser Battle and I'm here to SAVE YOUR SHOW!"
Sorry I'm late to this thread, but this just made me laugh out loud. Maybe you could also add "My name is Laser Battle, and I'm from the future."
I don't know about SNL, but I hear Blue Collar TV is hiring. Just change everything about your current lifestyle and belief system and move to one of the red states.
--Nick