The other thing is, since I haven't seen my friend in like 15 years or so, my options are pretty wide open. It's too late to fake being transgendered (we had a longish catching-up phone convo and it probably would've come up) but maybe something subtle, like an eyepatch and a long, rambling story to go with it.
The fat suit is very compelling, though. If I find a good source, I'll report back.