Re: Pitcher Night - Saturday, April 19

Eli

Eli

BLAST OFF!!!
#1
#1
Re: Pitcher Night - Saturday, April 19 @ Off The Wagon!!!

Dear Employees,
As you all know, our next company meeting is scheduled for the evening of Saturday, April 19. This will be a mandatory meeting and should turn out to be quite an evening as we gather together to celebrate the birthdays of Eli Newell and Adam Koppel. We are currently looking into our options for a suitable venue for the event - if any of you have suggestions, please feel free to post them here. Our requirements are simple - lots of seats, cheap pitchers and a convenient location. Also, if you have any ideas for festive party activities, all suggestions are welcome.
Thank you for your time - we look forward to seeing you all on the 19th!
-Management

EDIT>>> A VENUE HAS BEEN CHOSEN!!! THIS MEETING WILL TAKE PLACE AT OFF THE WAGON ON MACDOUGAL STREET<<<
 
Last edited:
TerryJ

TerryJ

totoro
#2
#2
I want to keep my job. If you want to keep yours, you have to show up at this meeting. That's why they call it mandatory.

Besides, the company's motto, "We keep good things alive, indefinitely", isn't just about building and maintaining top quality appliances, oil exploration and refining, biotechnology, military hardware, agribusiness, or book publishing, it's about people. People who want to stay alive, preferably for an indefinite period.

I (you) will drink to that!

-Terry
 
meaculpa

meaculpa

dreamy
#5
#5
Employee evaluations are just around the corner. If you value your position here at the company, you better be there.

Brian Fountain
Co-Communications Director
 
Eli

Eli

BLAST OFF!!!
#6
#6
So far, people have suggested the No Idea Bar, the Grand Saloon and Blue and Gold. There's always McManus - which is batting 1000 after our last meeting...
Come on, people... let's have some input...
what are your thoughts on these spots?
any other ideas?
 
meaculpa

meaculpa

dreamy
#8
#8
Originally posted by PairOfSox
I was already fired. How does this meeting have any baring on me?

No Idea has Magic Hat #9 on tap. That's f'in yummy.
Click to expand...
We will also be hiring that evening. Interested parties must apply in person. Please bring your own pen.

If you qualify you will be hired immediately. There is also a referral bonus.

Brian
Co-Communications Director
 
Dunford

Dunford

Among Men, Dunford
#9
#9
I was fired at the last meeting. But my job was saved when I called in sick. At this meeting I will bucking for a promotion.

Any of the above conference centers sound a-ok to me.
 
Shannon Manning

Shannon Manning

peace
#10
#10
That is an excellent point that Brian Fountain, Co-Communication Director, brings up. Recently laid-off employees will be first in line for the many new exciting positions that are being created.

How, in this era of war and downsizing and labor unrest, is the company able to hire so many new employees? By an innovative new program called "job-sharing."

Where we formerly had ONE employee doing the job of 4, we are now splitting the responsibilities between TWO employees. Titles, cubicles, and salary will also be shared.

We are very excited about this innovative new program and look forward to seeing lots of bright new shiny faces!

Shannon Manning
Co-Communications Director
 
Shannon Manning

Shannon Manning

peace
#13
#13
Eli,

I believe our representative at Off the Wagon is Kimmy Gatewood. Make sure she puts out *pencils* this time. Last time, we got pens, which, I don't need to tell you, was way over budget.
 
Purnell

Purnell

Active Member
#14
#14
MEMO

To: Executive Office
From: Finance Dept.
RE: Upcoming Conference

I've been talking to the bankers, and they have some really innovative products that take advantage of the long end of the curve...with the extra capital, we should be able to expand the hiring program and position ourselves well for the inevitable upturn. I'm going to get in touch with some of my old crowd back in treasury to determine which best fits our long-range plan.

Also, if we need to have a task force meeting to plan for the upcoming conference, please check with my assistant and pencil it into my calendar.

-Justin

Shannon--Thanks for always keeping your eye on the bottom line. Cost overruns cost JOBS.
 
K

kimmy

i love la!
#16
#16
Meeting Reps:

Off the Wagon promises quality and more important quantity. Please refer the following equation - I think all math majors will chuckle at the results:

Beer X Lots Log(ladies and gentlemen)\Fun {sloppy} + party =

Yours, Kimmy Gatewood
Alcoholic Rep.

PS. Shannon - Pen comment is noted (IN PEN)
 
D

Dan Powell

aka Stan Howell
#17
#17
I don't think the Grand Saloon should be considered for a gathering on April 19th, because it will no longer have a roof after April 12th.

(We're going to set it on fire, you see. Boo-yah!)

D
 
Eli

Eli

BLAST OFF!!!
#19
#19
Good News!!!
Our VP of Intoxication has landed us a dynomite deal with the OFF THE WAGON conference center on the 19th. Our meeting will be held in the privacy of their luxurious upstairs complex complete with our own waitstaff and pool table.
 
A

a-*J*-k

New Member
#20
#20
Dear Fellow Members of the Board:

It has come to my attention that "minutes" has been posted on the IRC. As this organizations Attorney General, I am furious. I don't understand how these pictures could have slipped past both Public Relations and Marketing. It is all of our responsibilities to demonstrate to the world (we have gone International) how truly fucked up we can get.

I have counted the number of pitchers and glasses in the "minutes"--inexcusable. I have counted the number of bare breasts, revealed packages and general cases of people gone wild--inexcusable. It is my hope that we have learned quite a bit from our inaugural meeting. Many people were let go, some demoted, others found their positions were more tenuous then they had initially perceived, and still others found themselves with jobs the likes of which they've only dreamed.

There is still a great deal of work that needs to be done and many positions yet to be filled. The meeting on the 19th will be
long, but fully productive. Let us grow, advance and conquer. This organization can not remain stagnant. We must embrace the organization's 2nd meeting, Eli Newell's 26th birthday and Adam Koppel's 23rd birthday.

Your Attorney General,
Adam Koppel
 
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