ramblings of a 20something

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 25, 2003

Ramblelamadingdong

As seein in this thread...

And my response:

So anyway. I just found this all very interesting. I called The Lord God an idiot. And I stand buy that. He started out okay, I actually enjoyed his posts. Then he became a moron. Spewing all sorts of stupid shit, then plugging his even lamer band. Yes, I said lame. Coupled with the fact that he was either DryHeat or that Tim guy. DryHeat was supposedly dead, but apparently wasnt. Oh whatever.

And as for people on here not being real... Sure, I accept that. But it pisses me off to no end. I like to hope that yall are being real. Well, I'm fairly certain that the people I care about are genuine. I know I am. Everything I say here is what happens to me. Dull? Maybe. But it's real. I'm real.

And raven... I drink a lot? Please. I wish I drank more frankly. But my dull ass is ALWAYS FREAKIN DRIVING! Grr...

Either way, I just love having a 15 year old telling me that I'm dull. I've only read her journal a few times. It mainly consists of "I hate homework and my boyfriend is so kewl" or whatever. Dullsville.

I'm being bitchy. Sorry dear readers.

I know I can be dull. I know I barely have anything of real interest to say. I know I talk about Ryan too damn much, or David or whoever. But you know what? I don't write this to please anyone else. It's for me. This keeps me occupied during the day. It's a release.

I appreciate every single PM I get though. Is this because its flattering? Sure, sometimes. But most of the time I get a PM it's a reality check. If I get too down on myself, I get a PM from somebody telling me that things will be just fine. And when I get manic about something, I get a message telling me to chill the fuck out. And I love it. I like that we are here for eachother.

As a rule I stay away from the high school sets journals. Is that fair? Maybe not. I'm not knocking them, but I just can't relate to it anymore. I read them and just shake my head. Because I'm older and I know that most of the things that they write about just will not matter in a few years. I can identify better with the journals kept by people my own age. And older. The men and women that keep journals on here that are my age or older I can identify with. Many have the same concerns that I have. Money woes. Relationship issues. And those older folks give me insight into how things might be in a few years. Its sort of like having an older and wiser brother or sister.

Now, I also realize that much of what I write and obsess aobut now will not matter in a year. Or even a few months down the line. (God, I hope not anyway) But it helps me now to write it all down. And it's nice to know that I'll be able to look back at it and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

Where am I going with this rant? Well, I don't know. I guess I was just pissed off at being called a dull drunk by a 15 year old high school student.

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 25, 2003

Weee!

<font face="tahoma" size="4">I am <a href="http://www.imfanatic.com/simpsons/simpson_quiz.html">Krusty the Clown</a>!

You are Krusty the Clown!!
Always cracking clever jokes and insulting others you love being the center of attention. Off the cameras however, you become a cynical, depressed, asshole.
<br>Which <a href="http://www.imfanatic.com/simpsons/simpson_quiz.html">Simpsons Character</a> are YOU?</font>

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 26, 2003

Blah survery blah

Ooh another survey thing. I know yall love these. Hell, I’ve probably done this before.

-WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?
Off white I guess. With some flowers
-WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I’m in between books. Finished “The Hotel New Hampshire” by John Irving a few weeks back. Up next is Bertrand Russels autobiography.
-WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Here at work its black with a wrist protector bump thingy in the front
-WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
My Simpsons monopoly set. Oh yeah baby!
-FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Cosmo I guess. It’s so lame though
-FAVORITE SMELL?
A nice smelling guy. It varys from person to person though
-LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
Baby shit
-FAVORITE COLOR?
Blue
-LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?
Fuschia
-HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
At least 2
-WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
Happiness
-CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla
-DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
I don’t know, am I late?
-DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Yes, yes I do. If I wake up in the middle of the night and Bogey has fallen to the floor, I get up and get him.
-HOW MANY PILLOWS ARE ON YOUR BED?
2, but one gets thrown to the floor when I go to sleep
-WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Why must I be awake?
-STORMS: COOL OR SCARY?
Cool. And sometimes scary. But mostly cool.
-WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
2001 Honda Civic EX
-IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE?
Colin Farrell. Purely for the sex.
-FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Woodchuck pear cider.. mmmm…
-FAVORITE SOFT DRINK?
Root beer. Most any brand. Although I’ve had some shitty root beer. Saranac makes a particularly gross root beer.
-SODA, POP, OR SOMETHING ELSE?
Soda. Only silly people say Pop. Like Canadians.
-WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Aries, April 2, 1978
-DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Uh, yeah
-IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Racehorse breeder

I think I have done this survey before… oh well, we’ll do it again

-IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Whatever my natural color was before I killed it.
-IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Half empty
-FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Searchers
-DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
Yes, yes I do
-WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Oh lord. Lots of junk.
-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
8
-FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Baseball
-WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR?
Not finding love.
-FAVORITE CD?
Dashboard Confessional – A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
-FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Gilmore Girls I think takes it
-KETCHUP OR MUSTARD?
Ketchup. Ewww mustard
-HAMBURGERS OR HOT-DOGS?
Depends. Hot dogs generally, but certain places have kick ass hamburgers
-THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?
Best place? Well, the Banff Springs Hotel was pretty damn impressive. Didn’t stay there though. In general, I love Alberta, Canada.
-WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?
That shooting star scene thingy. The background is a picture I took while out in Lethbridge.
-BURGER KING or MCDONALD'S?
Burger King. Used to be McDonalds
-BEST PLACE YOU'VE EVER HAD SEX?
Well… Ryans bed I suppose. I am a sad, sad individual. I’ve only ever had sex in a bed. I’m 25 years old for crying out loud. I am sad.
-WHAT IS/ARE YOUR PETS NAME?
Midnight and Sparkle. Also known as Dumb and Dumber or Nervous and Jerky
-FAVORITE HOLIDAY?
Christmas
-SAY OR MAKE UP ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO POSTED ABOVE YOU
Well, Dizzy was the last person to update her journal. She’s a hoot. I bet she would corrupt me if I ever visited her!

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 29, 2003

I've got a case of the Mondays

Another Monday is upon us. Joy of all joys. And it’s all dreary outside. Ick.

Lets recap my weekend, shall we? Friday after dinner I headed over to the mall to get a new cell phone. I figured that my Sprint contract is over, and I wanted a new phone. Sprint has shitty phones and I wasn’t very thrilled with the service. So Verizon here I come. Can you hear me now? Good! I love those commercials… Anyway, I got a new cute phone. Motorola 120e. It’s silver and when I touch the keypad it’s all blue! Yay blue phones. Of course I was informed later that evening that my phone was cool about a year ago. Whatever, I like it. Only thing that I don’t like as much is the fact that it’s a 2 year contract. Oh well, it should be cool. Oh and my ring tone! It’s so sweet. It’s funk. You know… Funk. Very nice.

I went over to Jake and David’s house that night and hung out for a while. Jake’s girlfriend Anna was there, as well as someone from her former sorority. Kelly, I think. She seemed nice. Trying a bit too hard though. Laughing very hard at every little joke that anyone told. But that’s cool. I’d rather see that than some cold ice queen. There was talk of going to Rome for some dancing soon (even though it’s still closed – nobody listens to me) and Dave says to me “Hey you’ve gotta go to so I have somebody to dance with.” I’m thinking cool, good times. About a half a nanosecond later he says “Wait, we should go when Keri is in town.” Ugh. I don’t begrudge the guy having a girlfriend. But he’s turning into a pod person again. Back when he was with his ex-girlfriend Kathy he was very anti-social. Basically because she didn’t want him going out with friends or whatever. We started hanging out with Jake, and Kathy and Dave would be sitting on the couch and say nothing to us. Apparently Kathy hated Liz and I. She called us The Tribe. I guess in her eyes we were sort of Jake’s back up singers or something. I dunno, she was a nutjob. Well, after they broke up David started hanging out with us more and all of that. But now that he’s with Keri, its starting all over again. He can’t go out because he spent all his money the weekend before with her. Won’t go out for Halloween because Keri would rather stay in Philly that weekend. Blah, whatever. Besides, I figure that whole thing will end badly anyway. Because she won’t commit. So whatever. That was a good tangent, wasn’t it folks? Okay, so they all went out Friday night but I went home. I wasn’t really feeling like going out.

So instead I went home and turned on Messenger in the hopes that somebody would be around to talk to. I was surprised to see that Ryan was around, seeing that it was a Friday night. He was just taking it easy, doing a bit of work. We chatted a bit, then he said he would be back in a bit. Well, I had a feeling that it would be awhile, so I went to my bed and watched some TV. An hour passes and he’s still gone. So I say “What did you do, fall asleep on me?” Apparently, he did. Got a phone call, then promptly fell asleep on his couch. Not the first time he’s done that! Well, we got to talk quite a bit this weekend actually, so that was nice. He still has not heard from Sheena. It’s been 3 weeks now. He last called her on Wednesday and said that’ll be the last. I feel bad for him, but man, what a fuckwit she is. He’ll be better off. He doesn’t need a girlfriend who’s pregnant. He doesn’t need that responsibility. Of course I now daydream about being invited there again for New Years. I’m delusional like that. Would I go if invited? Hell yes. If he asked me to visit tomorrow I’d be looking into flights the second after. Yes I know, I’m an idiot.

Anyway, Saturday Liz and I had plans to go scope out Halloween costumes. She called up Renee and invited her along. Apparently her husband Tom wasn’t very pleased. I like Tom and everything, but he’s a bit delusional. He doesn’t like Renee going out with us. I guess we’re Trouble. Two single women and her being married? Can lead to No Good. Yeah, cause Liz and I are just Crazy!!! I dunno, it’s just nuts. I doubt she’ll be going out with us Halloween night. And if she does, she’ll be dressed as a nun or some such outfit which will cover her from head to toe.

I had originally planed on a French Maid type outfit. But I didn’t really like the ones I saw. Showed a bit too much skin I think. Which is the point, I know, but damn, it gets cold here at that time of year! I saw a few I liked. A Dorothy outfit, cheerleader, Fairy type get up. I really liked that last one. But it had these huge wings in the back, and I knew that would get very irritating. So I chose a Little Red Riding Hood costume. It’s cute, has a white peasant type shirt, red checked skirt, and a red cape. And I’m going to slut it up with some red fishnets. Now I just need to find some shoes. Renee and Liz suggested the shoes we had for Renee’s wedding. Hell no. Those were instruments of torture, and I am never wearing those again. I have some strappy black heals, but Im not sure how that will go. We shall see. I’m excited, it should be a good time. Liz wants to be some sort of Greek goddess or something. We discussed her buying material for a good hour. And sewing it. Ha, she’ll probably sew her finger to it.

Before we went to the costume store I wanted to stop at the beer place and see if they had the pear cider that I like. Well, they didn’t but they did have new Raspberry cider. I got a 6pack of that and a 6pack of the regular Amber dark. Mmmm it was good too. I was a bit nervous, thought it might taste nasty. But it was quite nice! Had 2 Saturday night. I had no intention of going out that night so I was glad when nobody called. Apparently Liz and Michael went to the movies with his friends Jimmy and Beth. Then they met Jake and Anna and David at the ‘Tige. It was weird, Liz and Michael were talking about it last night all hush hush. Sheesh, did they think I’d be pissed that I wasn’t invited? My friends are weird…

Sunday afternoon I had a craving for cider donuts. One reason why I love the fall. Apples. Mmmmm lovely apples. So I went off to an orchard to pick up some donuts, cider and some apples. Oh those donuts are so good. I had 2 yesterday, one this morning. Yummy! My mom made some apple crisp last night for dessert which was just delicious. And I’m trying to go the healthy route and have an apple for lunch. Okay, I lie. I still have 3 pringle snack things in my drawer here at work. Just finished up one, and I’ll eat the other 2 later. That way they’ll be gone. And I wont have them here taunting me. I need to eat more healthy.

Last night Michael, Liz and I went to the Egg for a comedy show. The Egg is a theater in Albany. Shaped like an egg. Well, more like some weird alien space ship. Heres a picture:

Weird, huh? Anyway, Dave Attell and Lewis Black were the features, and some local DJ did the warm up. He was horrible, basically all his jokes made fun of his Israeli wife and dogs having sex. Yawn. Oh, there was a third guy but I can’t remember his name. He was hilarious though. Max something maybe. Oh well. He did a bit about Peter Frampton. “I have no idea who he is, but apparently he’s important so I figured I should make small talk with him. So… do you like toast? It’s so dry and crunchy. And it is a good place for jam to lay.” I was rolling. Lewis Black was fantastic, as always. He ragged on us poor Albany folks. He wondered how we could live so close to our idiot governor. Well, we don’t he’s never ever here. Dave Attell wasn’t bad. A bit one note. Very frat boy humor. Not bad, but theres only so many masturbation jokes I can handle. It was a good time though. First comedy show I’ve been to.

My Grandpa is back in the hospital again. I guess they need to juice up his pacemaker. Apparently he’s down to about 160lbs. That’s really not good. He was looking too thin at 180lbs. I’m going to try and get down there for Thanksgiving. It doesn’t look as if my parents will be going, the tickets are too expensive. We’ll see what happens.

Well, that was my exciting weekend.

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 29, 2003

"You're a nightmare!"

A dear friend said this to me. And he’s right (as always!). I’m 25, when will I ever get my shit straight?

I have no idea what I want in my life. I honestly have no dreams or aspirations. No goals. Most people do. They know what job they want. I don’t. I never have. I’ve never really thought much about it. Sure, in passing I’ll think that it’ll be cool to do this or that. But it’s the getting there that I can’t quite figure out. When you’re a kid you dream of your adult life. You want to be a teacher, or a fireman, a mom, maybe a lawyer. But as an adult you have to get it done. I think I’m still in that kid phase. Will I be a secretary – oh excuse me, administrative assistant – my whole life? I’m not knocking it, but if I have 40 + years to look forward to in this sort of job… Well, just shoot me now. But I can’t figure out what I want.

The only time I can remember where I really took a chance was when I went to college in Virginia. That was such a change for me. I know I wanted to go to school away from home, and I actually did. And I am so glad. I changed a lot, and I think I’m ready for another change. I’m still a lot like that college girl. I need to grow up.

I started out as a History major. As a Freshman I had 2 history courses. World history. Meh. It was okay, but my professor was a bit boring. And he liked Russian history a bit too much. Although he did know quite a few cool stories. My advisor was a different History professor. Dr. Hayes. I loved him. He was so old South. He wore a bow tie. Just the nicest guy. Fall of my Sophomore year I began to have second thoughts on the whole History major thing. So I took a philosophy course as well as Intro to Business. I’m glad I took that course, half the baseball team was in that class. Good times. Anyway, I decided to change my major. I was so nervous about talking to Dr. Hayes. I felt like he would be disappointed in me. Of course he wasn’t. He wanted me to succeed at Averett under any major. So I became a Marketing major. Still having no real goals.

I think in switching majors I disappointed myself in a way. I felt like a bit of a failure. I know I shouldn’t measure my life by the success or goals of others. It’s hard though.

I know I need a change. I know I need to change. I’ve been looking through the classifieds recently. There are a few jobs that got my interest. I’m unsure on how to go about this. I’ve got a crappy little resume. One idea is to have a chat with my boss and ask to be put back to part time so I can look for a new job. I think that would be okay, I think he would be understanding. But what if he’s not? I don’t want to piss them all off and just get fired. And I don’t want to quit without having a job already lined up. And it’s hard to search for jobs when you’re already employed. Since most interviews occur during the day. Sure, I could say I have a doctors appointment or something. But what if the people I interview with want to call my past and current employers? Then I’m screwed. So I think a straight up chat with my boss is the way to go. I’ll do that around the end of the month. I’m trying to save as much money as I can, that way if I somehow get a jobless stretch I’ll be okay.

Well, the whole nightmare comment comes from my obsession over Ryan. And I don’t even want to get into that at the moment. Because I have over and over and over. I just never learn anything from it! So I think for now I’ll just ignore it.

Just have to focus on job shit.

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 29, 2003

More surveys...

last cigarette: I don’t smoke
last car ride: This morning going to work
last kiss: Got a kiss from Shelby on Saturday. She’s getting better about not trying to swallow me.
last good cry: Not sure really.
last library book checked out: I have no idea. It’s been awhile. Sometime in college.
last movie seen: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was cute.
last book read: I’ve just started a book called “Why Girls Are Weird”
last cuss word uttered: Not sure, probably shit.
last beverage drank: water
last food consumed: an apple
last phone call: Liz
last tv show watched: A bit of Good Morning America this morning.
last time showered: this morning
last shoes worn: My black penny loafer type heals
last cd played: My MMBS Dashboard CD. Shocking, I know…
last item bought: Apples, apple cider, and apple cider donuts. Mmmm…
last annoyance: Being here, now.
last disappointment: That whole Matt issue.
last soda drank: Coke
last thing written: My last journal entry
last key used: My car key I suppose. Unless this means keyboard key…
last words spoken: “I’ll try Jim for you”
last sleep: 12:30 am till 6:50ish this morning.
last im: Ryan yesterday afternoon.
last sexual fantasy: me, Colin Farrell, a kiddie pool full of jello. Good times… (I’m so kidding. Would be fun though!)
last weird encounter: In the elevator at the Egg yesterday. I said something about it being a big elevator, and the attendant was all “Thanks, I like it”
last ice cream eaten: Vanilla last night
last time amused: Last night at the comedy show
last time wanting to die: Wanting to die? Never. Well, from embarrassment. But not really.
last time in love: 3 years ago essentially.
last time hugged: I dunno. Matt I guess.
last time scolded: Scolded? I have no clue.
last time resentful: Ha, all the time.
last chair sat in: Umm.. I’m sitting now.
last underwear worn: Er… grey string thong from the Gap.
last shirt worn: Pinkish sweater from Jcrew.
last time dancing: Hmm… I suppose the last time I went to Rome. Ages and ages ago.
last poster looked at: Poster eh? Well, I’ve got a Javy Lopez poster on the back of my door. So I see that ever day.
last show attended: The comedy show last night.
last webpage visited: www.google.com
__________________________________________________________________________________________

[[ Name ]] - Tammy
[[ Nicknames, including from family ]]- Tam, Binky. That’s about it.
[[ Birthday ]] – April 2, 1978
[[ Age ]] 25
[[ Astrological sign? ]] - aries
[[ Chinese zodiac sign? ]] - Horse
[[ Location ]] – New York
[[ Sexual Preference ]] – Yes, I prefer sex.
[[ Marital Status ]] - single
[[ Current Haircolor ]] – brown with some other stuff thrown in for good measure
[[ Eyecolor ]] - brown
[[ Parents still together? ]] - yes
[[ Syblings? ]] - two
[[ Pets? ]] – Midnight and Sparkle, 2 cats
[[ In school/graduated? ]] - graduated
[[ Rent, lease, or own your home? ]] – livin with the family
[[ What do you do for work? ]] – Copy bitch.
[[ How much do you make? ]] – not nearly enough.
[[ What do you drive? ]] – 2001 Honda Civic EX

preferences
[[ Black and White/Color ]] – white/colors
[[ Red/Blue ]] - Blue
[[ Dogs/Cats ]] - both
[[ Roses/Daisies ]] - roses
[[ Beer/Liquor ]] - Liquor
[[ Boxers/Briefs *wink* ]] - boxers
[[ Hair: Short/Long ]] – short on guys
[[ Boots/Shoes ]] – shoes
[[ Food: Mexican/Italian ]] – Italian
[[ Dark/Light ]] – Light
[[ Day/Night ]] – Depends. Generally day.
[[ City/Country ]] – A city with close location to the country
[[ Sheets: Solid/Animal Prints ]] - Solids

Favorites
[[ Color ]] - Blue
[[ Animal ]] - Horse
[[ Vehicle ]] – some expensive sports car which I will never be able to afford
[[ Flower ]] – I don’t have a favorite flower
[[ Beer ]] – Eww beer. If I had to choose, it’d be Labbats Blue
[[ Liquor ]] - Vodka
[[ Soda ]] - root beer
[[ Food ]] – Italian
[[ Book ]] – Many.
[[ Author ]] – John Irving
[[ Bands ]] – Dashboard Confessional. Bet you didn’t see that coming
[[ CD ]] – see above.
[[ Song ]] – At the moment “Carve your Heart Out”
[[ Movie ]] – It changes all the time.
[[ Director ]] – No idea
[[ Extracurricular Activity ]] - Uhh.. reading I guess
[[ Color your hair? ]] – No more. Trying to reverse that craziness
[[ Have tattoos? ]] - none
[[ Piercings? ]] - none

Have you...
[[ Stolen anything? ]] - no
[[ Smoke? ]] – nope
[[ Pot? ]] – nope
[[ Crack? ]] – Only on Wednesdays
[[ Drink? ]] – Yup
[[ Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name? ]] Uh no.
[[ Been so drunk you didn't care that you couldn't remember your name? ]] Ha!
[[ Posed for nude pics? ]] – cant say that I have
[[ Considered a life of crime? ]] - No
[[ Considered being a hooker? ]] – Nope. I’d be broke!
[[ Maybe a pimp? ]] – Hmm.. no.
[[ Cheated on someone? ]] – No. Never. Ever.
[[ Been married? ]] – Nope.

Are you psycho?
[[ Split personalities? ]] - No
[[ Schizophrenic? ]] - No
[[ Obsessive? ]] – Me? Ha.
[[ Compulsive? ]] - Umm..
[[ Obsessive Compulsive? ]] - Err..
[[ Panic? ]] - What??
[[ Anxiety? ]] – Are you looking at me?
[[ Depressed? ]] - You’re making me sad.
[[ Suicidal? ]] – No.
[[ Homicidal? ]] - Uhh.
[[ Genocidal? ]] - what the?
[[ Pedophile?]] – Ummm seriously, what the fuck?
[[ Obsessed with Nate? ]] Who the hell is Nate? Is he cute?
[[ Mutilate animals? ]] - Umm.. I’m scared
[[ Idolize infamous criminals? ]] – Idolized? No.
[[ Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ]] - Im still scared

The good stuff...
[[ What are you listening to? ]] – 99.5. Shitty radio station
[[ What are you watching? ]] – nothing. The computer I guess.
[[ What time is it? ]] – 1:38pm
[[ What are you wearing? ]] – Pink sweater, black pin stripe skirt, black shoes, pink bra, grey undies.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

In no particular order…

[10 BEST Bands/Artists you've seen live ]
1. Dashboard Confessional (solo show)
2. Counting Crows
3. John Mayer
4. The Wallflowers
5. Dashboard Confessional (Lowell show)
6. Nicklecreek
7. U2
8. Dixie Chicks
9. Hootie & the Blowfish (circa 1995 or some such)
10. Michelle Branch

[9 Things you're looking forward to]
1. Homecoming
2. 5pm
3. Football tonight
4. Dinner
5. Halloween
6. Living a full life
7. Sex and the City’s return in January
8. The drive to Maryland and Virginia
9. Quitting this job!

[8 Things You Wear Daily]
1. Undies
2. contacts or glasses
3. pants/skirt
4. shoes
5. pj’s
6. a smile
7. bra
8. a shirt

[7 Things That Piss You Off]
1. liars
2. food all over the kitchen floor
3. Holly in general
4. Not knowing what I want
5. My job
6. Being in debt
7. Idiot neighborhood kids

[6 Things You Touch Every Day]
1. my hair
2. keyboard
3. my bed
4. Shelby
5. the fridge
6. the floor

[5 Things You Do Every Day]
1. waste time on the computer
2. watch tv
3. drive somewhere
4. Talk to my family
5. Agonize over something trivial

[4 People You'd Want to Spend More Time or Hang out With]
1. Ryan
2. Rachel
3. David
4. Michael

[3 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over]
1. Bring it On
2. The Searchers
3. Good Will Hunting

[2 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment]
1. Dashboard Confessional – Carve Your Heart Out
2. Santana – Why don’t you and I

[1 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With]
1. I don’t think I’ll answer that one right now.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

[ this or that ]
Me/You: Well that’s dumb
Coke/Pepsi: Pepsi
Day/Night: Day
AOL/AIM: MSN
CD/Cassette: CDs
DVD/VHS: DVD
Jeans/Khakis: jeans
Car/Truck: car
Tall/Short: Tall
Lunch/Dinner: dinner
NSYNC/BSB: Are they still relevant?
Gap/Old Navy: Gap
Lipstick/Lipgloss: lipgloss
Silver/Gold: silver
Alcohol/Weed: alcohol

[ love and relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: no.
Do you have a crush?: Don’t I always?
How long have you liked him/her?: Too long
Why do you like this person?: Well… Ryan is very intelligent. And he’s cute. We’ll go with that for now.
If you're single... why are you single?: I hate that fucking question. Once I have this hump removed from my back I’m sure I’ll be dateable. Why am I single? Because men are idiots.
If you're not single... give details...: single.
How long was your longest relationship?: a bit over a year. Some of it long distant though
How long was your shortest relationship?: I’ve only had one relationship.
Who was your first love?: Peyton
What do you miss about them?: Not a thing.

[ the present ]
What are you doing?: this survey, dumbass
What song are you listening to?: Dave Matthews “The Space Between”
Where are you?: work
Who are you with?: Well, there are lots of people here
Who are you talking to?: nobody at the moment
Are you online?: yup
How are you feeling?: bored
Are you in a chatroom?: no

[ future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: tuesday
What are you going to do after this?: Maybe work? Who knows!
Who are you going to talk to?: No clue, whoever needs to speak to me I guess. Ohhh phone ringing now, weird. Just a customer. Couldn’t help him of course.
Where are you going to go?: Uh.. well, I have to get the mail at some point this afternoon.
How old will you be when you graduate?: Already have
What do you wanna be?: No clue
What is one of your dreams?: Happiness
Where will you be in 25 years?: No clue

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 29, 2003

Blah.

I have not done a damn thing all day long. Well, I have a bit, but I'm slacking off. Big time. I've had these two binders sitting on my desk for over a week now. All I have to do is retype 5 or 6 pages. I haven't. Why? I don't know. This sucks. I will do it first thing tomorrow morning. Get it out of the way. Then those binders won't be sitting there looking at me. Saying "You lazy fuck, do your work."

I should be fired.

I swear, I won't write anymore today. Promise! Unless something major happens. Which I doubt.

Oh yeah, we got a little booklet in the mail today "Guide to Marketing and Business Resources." Yup, I'm taking it. Normally I trash things like this. But I see this as an opportuntiy. Future job opporutnity. I'm going to look though it and see what I come up with.

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 30, 2003

You've got to be kidding me...

Out of all the things that G-man has said I think this has pissed me off the most:

What world are you living in? Oh, and have you been shopping for womens jeans recently? You might want to contact the stores and designers and let them know about this. You can very rarely find jeans that aren't low rise. And if you do, they're very high waisted and usually cut all weird. I sure as hell am not wearing jeans with which the waist band will serve as support for my breasts when I'm sitting down. Sorry, Charlie.

No, I don't wear those extreem I need a wax before I can even think about wearing these Britney Spears type lowrider jeans. I don't think anyone should wear those, no matter if you're a size 2 or a size 22. Nobody needs to see your ass crack while you're standing. And nobody should be able to tell that you got a Brazillian wax that day while you're still wearing clothes.

Just because you are wearing lowrise jeans doesn't mean that they are too tight. Mine fit just fine, thank you. And you know what? My doughy white pauch does stick out when I'm sitting down. I am fully aware that I am a bit out of shape. Probably carrying 5-10 pounds too much. But you know what? I am not going to starve myself to fit into some nice cookie cutter Hollywood figure.

Most of the women in Hollywood are so damn unrealistic. If you watch an old episode of Friends, then watch one from last season it'll make you sick. Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox have each lost at least 10-20 pounds since starting that show. It's not right. Lisa Kudrow appears to have stayed around the same size. But they don't stick her in skin tight outfits now do they?

And then theres the whole Britney and Christina thing. They both look amazing. But you know, if I worked out 4 hours a day I would too. But that is not gonna happen. I remember a few months back when Christina had put on some weight. She had on some horrendous outfit on stage and you could see that she's gotten bigger. I make myself sick by even saying that. She looks HEALTHY! You could count every rib in her body before. I hate to think that a size 8 is fat in Hollywood. But it is. And that's so fucked up.

So in short. I wear low rise jeans. Come to think of it, I could use a few new pairs. Size 10 please. Sure, I can fit in a size 8, but I like breathing too. Tall length, regulars usually are too short for me. I usually like Gap or American Eagle. And in my size 10 low rise jeans I look damn good. You'd better believe that. And any man who should say to me that I shouldnt wear them because I'm not a size 6 or because I'm not stick thing shouldn't be suprised when I smack him upside his idiot head. Might knock some sense into him.

/big rant

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 30, 2003

Yay for surveys!

Bambooki is the best!!!

1. Have you ever killed a houseplant by accident?
-Well, if by accident you mean forgetting to water it, yes.
2. Have you ever killed a houseplant on purpose because you just didn’t want to deal with it all winter?
-Well, I tossed out a shitty looking spider plant once.
3. How do you feel about spankings?
-Aint nothing wrong with that.
4. What is your shower routine?
-Turn on water to desired temperature, remove clothing. Step in shower. Make sure the shower head is turned all the way up so I don’t get water pounding on my head straight away. Turn towards shower head and turn it on. Adjust it. Turn around. Wet hair. Shampoo up. Pile hair on top of head. If I’m shaving this day I do this next. If I’m using conditioner I next rinse out the shampoo and apply conditioner. Then I grab my shower poof thingy and get that nice and wet. Get the shower gel and apply to shower poof thingy. Wash up. Rinse out shower poof thingy. Rinse out conditioner. Turn off shower. Step out, towel off and tada my shower routine is complete!
5. Do you shave your legs/face everyday?
-Not every day. I try not to get too hairy though.
6. What does your partner think about hairy legs/face?
-You assume I have one. My imaginary boyfriend loves me just how I am.
7. If you could have a video of yourself having sex and nobody but you would ever see it or find it, would you want to see it?
-Of course!
8. Spiders are a) helpful and they eat bugs, I let them live, or b) horrible and they get whacked the minute they step into my house.
-Hopefully there are no bugs in my house (besides the obvious spider…) so they get the wack.
9. If there are 8 hours in a work day, how many do you actually spend working?
-In an average day? 1, maybe.
10. How often do you change your underwear?
-Umm.. every day. Sometimes twice a day. I can’t seem to be comfortable sleeping in a thong.
11. What is your favorite cheese?
-Hmm… American. The kind you get sliced at the deli. Mmm… I’m hungry.
12. If your favorite cheese had mould on it would you throw it out or scrap off the mould and keep eating?
-Eww. Toss it.
13. How much did you spend the last time you went to the grocery store?
-I’m not sure really. Probably about $20-$30.
14. How much did you spend the last time you went shopping for yourself?
-$39.99 plus tax. New cell phone

15. Scented candles or incense?
-Candles. I cant stand the smell of incense.
16. White or wheat?
-White.
17. Pumpernickel or rye?
-Eww.
18. Marble rye?
-Eww again.
19. Overall favorite ethnic food? (I.e. Italian, Mexican, German, Polish, Indian, etc.)
-Italian
20. Is horse and greyhound racing a great sport or cruelty towards animals?
-reat sport. Although I don’t watch greyhound racing. I think that’s more cruel but race horses are very well taken care of.
21. Are your pets from the pet store, the pound, or the breeder?
-Some people my mom knew from work. Their cats had kittesn, so we got em from there.
22. Do you ever have to trim your nosehair?
-I don’t have scary nosehair, so no. Thank god.
23. If you could go back and relive high school knowing what you know now, would you?
-No way.
24. Curtains or blinds?
-Hmm.. Curtains.
25. A/C at night or open window? (Or fan?)
-Depends on how hot it is. Really not, A/C or fan. A mild night (60’s or so) just the window open.
26. Hawaii or the Caribbean?
-Hawaii
27. If your best friend’s partner was cheating on them, would you tell your best friend?
-Yes I would. I’m sure I would look like the bad guy, but I would hope that somebody would tell me.
28. If one parent was cheating on your other parent, would you tell them?
-Yikes. I don’t know. That’s a tough one.
29. What is worse: a cold that lasts for two weeks or the stomach flu that lasts for two days?
-The cold.
30. If there were a solid cube floating in outer space, completely filled with water, no air space, an you put a scuba diver in the cube, which way would the bubbles go?
-In a circle, counter-clockwise. Then they would sort of make star shapes or something.
31. What’s worse: splinter or blister? Why?
-Blister. They take longer to heal.
32. Would you put bleach on poison ivy if it meant curing the rash in one day as opposed to five or seven days? (This is bad for you. Do not do it.)
-Sure, if it works, why not?
33. What is your sleepwear of choice?
-one of those shelf bra tank top things and underwear.
34. Would you rather wear a thong or no underwear at all?
-A thong. I haven’t gone the no underwear route as of it.
35. Girls: gynecologist: man or woman? Guys: urologist: man or woman?
-This is bad, but I’ve never been to a gyno. But if I would, I think I would rather see a woman. Although I know it shouldn’t matter.
36. If you have kids, who will give them the facts of life speech? You, or your spouse?
-I don’t want kids.
37. Veggies: canned and ready to go, or fresh and requiring prep time?
-Fresh. There is no substitute.
38. Favorite type of potato? (I.e. mashed, baked, grilled, scalloped, hash-browned, new, sweet, French/freedom fried, etc.)
-Mmmmm potatos… Favorite? I guess I’ll go with baked. All are excellent though.
39. At what age will/did you tell your kids the truth about Santa?
-What truth? What are you talking about??
40. Did I just spill the Santa beans to your children who are reading over your shoulder? Sorry.
-What?? What beans? Wait… you cant mean…. Mommy!!!

Now this was fun

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 30, 2003

Insanity

I’ve been feeling kind of fat and soft and chubby lately. I’d love to drop a good 5-10 pounds or so. At least. Mostly its an issue of being out of shape. I know this. Im just lazy. This doesn’t help, I know. I do have a yoga tape and I did watch it last Sunday. But have I actually done the tape? Nope. It looks easy, it shouldn’t be a problem. Its just getting motivated to do it that’s the problem. I’ll start tonight. Really, I will!!

I don’t want to diet. First of all, it’ll be kind of hard since I don’t cook for myself. And if I started cooking for myself, or obviously dieting I would get so much shit for it. As it is every single meal (I’m not exaggerating) my dad says to me “Are you done? That’s all you’re going to eat??” He’s always been like this. Its annoying as hell. Im thinking I’ll get some of those Slim Fast bars or some such. Has anyone had those? Do they work? I figure I’ll have those for breakfast and lunch. And a sensible dinner. Or whatever those lame commercials say. I really should join a gym or class but I just cant afford it. I need to focus on saving money.

This is a pointless filler entry. Seem to have a lot of those lately. Well, only 15 minutes till I go home. Yay for going home! I was actually a bit busy today.

I saw actually a lot…

I’ve been wearing this same pair of contacts for about 3 months now. That’s really not good. I need to purchase more. I’ll call the eye doctors today. As well as the dentist. I haven’t been there in ages. A few years I’d say. And since the right side of my jaw has been hurting for well over a week now I should probably go. With my luck I’ve got some fucked up molars or something. That’d be just fantastic.

I have nothing more to say at this moment. Please tune in at a later time.

brown_eyed_girl · Sep 30, 2003

Good Lord...

I bought a scale at Target today. Fucking scale says I weigh 160lbs. 1fucking60lbs. So I said I wanted to lose 5-10lbs? Make that more like 20-30. Yes, I am tall. 5'8". But 160lbs? God. Damn.

I also bought slim fast meal bars and snack bars. Guess what I'll be eating for breakfast and lunch now?

Im sickened, seriously.

Well, the scale wasn't set right. I didn't notice that it started out on 10lbs. Theres a little dialer on the front and it needed to be adjusted. So I'm really 150lbs. But that's still too much. My goal is 130-135. 15-20lbs need to go in that case. Two things that I will do I'm sure will help a lot.

I need to drink lots of water. I've gotten away from doing that. I'll force it down. And more more soda.

The second thing wont be as easy. Salt. Im addicted to it. I put salt on everything. Even when it isnt needed. I will stop that. Starting now. But it will not be easy...

God. I feel so sick right now.

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 1, 2003

Dreamcatcher...

I woke up from a dream this morning at 5:50. Weird dream too. I was at Ryan's house, but it was quite different to how it actually is. And now that I think of it, the kitchen in my dream is exactly how my college roommate Rachels familys kitchen is. I remember putting my luggage in his garage. And he doesn't have one of those. I got out my cell phone to make a call but I couldn't get service. So I walked a few feet to my right and got clear service. There was a big party. My boss was there, along with another co-worker and their wives. There were a lot of kids running around. I remember standing in the kitchen drying dishes with paper towels. I dropped a plate and got really upset about it, and Ryans mom came over to tell me that it was okay. I've never met his mom, I have no clue what she looks like. I think I only dreamed that she was a bit shorter than me, nothing else. His house had a lot of rooms in the dream, and the kids were playing in the area where Ryans room is, but it was just a huge play room with lots of pillows.

All the adult men were in a room with a big screen TV watching a football game. The women were in the kitchen cleaning. Some little boy came up to me and kicked me in the leg, called me a dirty American.

That's about all I remember. Weird.

The last dream I remember was a few weeks ago, after I had to go to the court house. I was with a black guy, and we were holding hands.

I'm in workplace hell at the moment. There are some month end things that I take care of, and the database has been completly changed around. And I now can't search the quotes. I had to go through every single one. Fucking hell.

G-man, I'm not sure that you inspired me to get in shape. If anything, I'm very stubborn. You would have made me get more fat! Back in high school I had a teacher who had my sister the year before. "Oh, you're Jen's sister! Good, another A student!" I mentally said "Fuck you buddy. You'll see." And I got a C... Yeah, that's how I operate

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 2, 2003

Dreaming away...

Had a dream about David last night.

I need to meet new people...

You know what song I really love? "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. It's just so good. Plus my friend Michelle from college always used to sing it. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've heard a tone deaf black girl from sourthern Virginia sing this song. :blank:

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 2, 2003

Rule guide

I blatantly stole this from somebody who I’ve recently “met”. I hope he doesn’t mind! I think I’ll expand on it

I think he’s completely dead on about all of this. Of course, these things can go both ways. It comes down to the simple fact that people need to be more bold. Aren’t interested in the girl beyond that night? Don’t ask for her number. Don’t give out yours. There is nothing wrong with talking to a girl at a bar and even possibly hooking up in some form and not asking for a number. I’ve refused to give out my number. I just was not interested in the guy. He was very flattering to me and seemed nice, but I just was not attracted to him. Shallow of me? Maybe. But I think that’s better than giving the guy hope. Who knows, maybe he wasn’t really interested in me either. Although he did seem quite disappointed. Either way, I think I did the right thing.

Yeah, the whole cell phone or buffer friend on a date thing sucks. Not that I would know since I’ve never actually been on a date, but I’m fairly certain that if a guys cell phone rang during a date with me, I’d shove it up his nose. Unless he’s a doctor or has a sick family member it just is not necessary.

On the issue of dumping. I’m all in favor of the clean break. No more contact, non of this “lets be friends” nonsense. But that’s just me.

I also don’t see a problem with one-night stands. Mostly cause I’ve been there. Although the cases are a bit different. But if that’s youre thing, go ahead and go for it! Just don’t lead people on.

I know a lot of girls who hung out with a guy friend in hopes of getting set up with his friend. If this is the case just tell your friend Johnny that you think Frankie is super cute, and is he single? Maybe pass him a note in 5th period or something.

In some ways I’ve been guilty of the last rule for girls. I do get very shy, and I hate the aftermath with my friends. Like with Matt, afterwards Liz was talking about it with other friends and she says “I saw Tammy kiss a boy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that.” And she probably hasn’t. Why is that? I’m not sure really. It’s not because I’m against PDA’s exactly. Just not PDA’s with people I am not dating around my friends. Because I don’t like the teasing after. Lame, I know. It’s the whole playground “she kissed a boooooyyyy” type thing. Cant we all just grow up? Also in the case of Matt I refused the offer to stay over. This was a bit because of the friend issue, but mostly because my parents would have had cows and kittens and various other animals. Yet another reason why I need to move out. I did want to stay, just couldn’t. And no, I would not have had sex with him

And boys. Yes, do not tell a girl you love her for sex. That just isn’t necessary. It isn’t 1954.

I cannot stress that second point more. Do not ask for the number if you know you’re not going to call. That’s fucked up, and as punishment you should only have chances with horrendous girls for the rest of your life. Non calling guys are the scum of the earth.

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 3, 2003

This n That

So it looks like I’ll be applying for a new job here at work. It’ll be up in the aftermarket/service department as an Administrative Assistant. Basically what I am now, except full time. Yeah, I work full time now. But for some reason they don’t see fit to pay me for vacation or sick time or on holidays. So if I get this job, I’ll get all that fun stuff. I hadn’t really even considered it, but I was convinced that it’s a good idea. It would be better than quitting and finding another job. Especially if I do move down south in the spring. We’ll see what happens.

Now I’ll take this time to introduce you to a new journal writer that discovered me, and I in turn discovered him.

Then so be it.

It’s a good read. I command you all to go there now! He’s very well written, smart and interesting. I like getting his point of view on things. Especially since we’re the same age and going through similar things. Anyway, go read.

I’ve been reading the Missed Connections on Craig’s List this morning. Interesting stuff. Romantic at times, I think. We have something similar in this little weekly paper here in Albany. It’s usually creepy though.

I read journals about these young people who date a lot and I wonder how it happens. Maybe it’s hard for me to identify with since I’ve never been on one date in my entire life. I still say that the baseball game with Shawn was not a date. Anyway, how does this happen? I don’t know if I could take dating much though. Considering how much I overanalyze things. Sure, I’d like to go on dates. But I don’t want to go and date 10 guys and have nothing develop. Seriously, sometimes I feel like such a freak. I hardly every get approached buy guys, never get asked out. I know I’m not a classic beauty. But sheesh, I’m pretty. Or so I’ve been told. I don’t dress to attract attention. I dress for comfort, and I dress how I like. No, I don’t look like a slob. I think I look decent. There’s something else. I don’t throw myself at guys. I hate girls that do that. It’s so unattractive. But I must somehow put up some sort of invisible barrier. Somehow I must exude “Don’t talk to me.” I don’t know.

Oh well, I’m sure I won’t solve that puzzle any time soon.

And the weekend is upon us. I’m dead set on not spending any money this weekend. Well, on entertainment purposes anyway. I do need gas for my car. But I’m not going out, I’m not renting movies. I won’t get any form of take out. I don’t need any of that. I’m feeling sort of hermity, so I think I’ll act the part. Watch movies all weekend or something. Sounds nice to me.

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 3, 2003

Why???

Somebody please tell me why I continue to drink lattes? Sure, they're tasty. But they make my stomach feel like it's going to explode. Stupid me.

Goal: Fill up my 32 oz. water bottle and drink it all up before I leave work in 2 1/2 hours.

Goal: Do actual work.

I've been such a slacker lately. I've got shit to do, I'm just not doing it. It's so bad. And it isn't like me. I'm just so unmotivated. I've got a pile of papers to distribute, I need to make the switchboard schedule for this month, I need to finish up the month end stuff for September, and I have to finish retyping some documents. That'll keep me busy for the rest of the afternoon. It's just a matter of doing it!

Jesus, I should not have gotten that stupid coffee. Another reason why I shouldnt have is because I used the $10 that I owe Liz. Now I'll have to go to the ATM. And my bank only allows $20 increments in the withdrawl. So I'll have to get $20.

I would just wait to pay her back, but she's a real bitch about it. She'll hound you forever. I'm suprised that she hasnt mentioned that I didnt get her a birthday present. Why didnt I? Well, I just didn't want to. I don't feel like I have to get her one, or anyone for that matter outside of my family. I didn't know what to get her, so I settled on nothing. Whatever, I don't care. Mean? Maybe. Oh yeah, another money issue with her. 2 years ago her and I went to San Diego to visit my sister Jen when she was living out there. We went to Sea World and Jen paid with her credit card so she would get a discount or something. I forget why. Anyway, it was the last day of our trip so Jen said that we could just mail her out a check. When we got home I wrote a check and sent it right out. Did Liz? Nope. Liz took an entire year to pay Jen back. A YEAR!!! I wasn't working at the time and I paid her back. Actually, Jen paid for us both at Sea World and Disneyland. $85 total. And she didn't get the money back from Liz for a year. I wouldn't have put up with that.

Wow, big rant. Basically, I just can't stand Liz half the time.

Okay, I'm gonna work now.

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 3, 2003

Let the insanity begin...

If you work full time here, you can go to school and they pay 85% of tuition. So I'm sitting here considering this. Going to graduate school. Am I fucking insane? I must be. Somebody smack me around please. Hell, I don't even know if I'd be accepted into a graduate program! My grades in college weren't exactly stellar. I'm nuts for even thinking about this.

First of all, I haven't even put in for this other job yet! So I have to do that. Then I have to interview. Then I have to be hired. Puttingi the cart before the horse once again.

So say I do get hired for that job. Would having a masters degree even help? Considering I don't have a clue what I want to do?

I must be nuts.

Employees leaving the company within three years of receiving reimbursement for education expenses resulting in an advanced degree will be required to reimburse the company for those expenses.

Hmm... Well, that's kind of dumb. Understandable though. I sure as hell don't see myself here in 3 years though. Well, it's still something to think about...

Yup, I'm clearly insane. I'm sure I'd have to take the GMAT or whatever it is. One of the local colleges said that they wave that.... If you had a 3.0 during your undergrad. Well, I sure as hell didn't. And do I really want to take the GMAT? I'm nuts.

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 6, 2003

Lifes little pleasures

Well, it's fall. You know what that means. Crappy weather and new TV shows! Anyway, this summer I discovered Television Without Pity which is just so freakin fantastic. Its basically a review website for TV shows. And its so snarky! Anything thats got some wit and sarcasm I'm all for. I particularly enjoy the Bachelor recaps. So very enjoyable.

Anyway, I had to share this with my adoring public. All 3 of you. :up:

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 6, 2003

Braves, Fires and dry humping

Another Monday morning here at the old salt mines. Must get work done today. Must not be flaky and put things off.

So the Braves lost 5-1 to the Cubs last night. Fucking Braves. Seriously, I’m pissed. And I didn’t even watch the whole game. Went to sleep pissed off before the start of the 8th inning when the Braves were down 4-1. Fucking hell. They had an incredible offense this past year. Did they forget this? Whatever. Next year they probably won’t even sign Javy and I’ll be pissed off. Stupid Braves.

Shania Twain is having a concert here on Saturday. Apparently it’s sold out, but there are some lower level seats available for $100, plus various other fees. That seems like a lot to me. A hell of a lot. The most I ever paid for a concert was $85 for U2. That was good times.

I need to be more careful about my hotmail account. It seems I’ve missed a few emails here and there. Plus I made my first half.com sale in months and I nearly missed it. Stupid hotmail anyway.

Friday night/Saturday morning I woke up with the most horrible leg cramp in my left leg EVER! It was horrible. I thought I was going to have to cut my leg off at the knee. My calf just seized up. It hurts so bad. I had tears in my eyes. I occasionally get cramps in my legs and the arches of my feet, but its never been that bad. Usually all I have to do is pull my foot up and stretch out the muscle and it works itself out. Didn’t quite work out like that this time. I pulled and poked the muscle and moaned and groaned. Finally it was okay, but even this morning my leg is a little sore. Apparently cramping comes from lack of potassium. And to fix this, I should eat more bananas. Well, I think bananas are the worst. I cannot stand them. The texture, flavor, smell… all gross. When I was in the hospital after the car wreck my potassium levels were low, so they pumped potassium through my IV. It was either that or flaming hot lava. I really couldn’t tell the difference. Anyway, it was painful. As was the leg cramp.

So Friday night I went over to Jake and Davids for a little bonfire action. Well, wasn’t much of a bonfire. They have this little fireplace type thingy dug into their yard and we just burned up some logs and sticks and such. It was nice actually. We all drank and talked and bullshitted. Matt came over and played some tunes for us on the guitar. Usually I give him my pick to use, but I didn’t have it this time. He was very disappointed. Oh yeah, I’m invited to go to Montreal for Davids brothers birthday. Oh boy! Sign me up! That’s all I want to do, hang out with a bunch of drunk horny guys in strip clubs in Montreal. When do we leave?

I’ve heard stories about these types of outings… I think I’d rather ram toothpicks into my eyes. Anyway, Dave was his usual self. How’s that? Getting drunk and rubbing his crotch in the back of my head. And what girl doesn’t love that? Then he says “I probably shouldn’t do that, Keri is coming tomorrow.” Yes, because rubbing yourself into my hair is really going to lead to something. Oh, I am so ready to bang you silly right now. Hey, theres a picnic table, lets do it there! The jury is still out on Keri. She seems nice enough. But apparently she’s scared of commitment. Which is all fine and good. She smokes pot, fine whatever, but she’s got Dave doing it now too. And he really shouldn’t, seeing as he used to do a shit load of drugs back in the day. And David needs to act as if he’s got a girlfriend, and stop molesting my hair :tsk: I’ve got to stop being rude too… He said something about her being his girlfriend, and I said “Pseudo-girlfriend. Cause she’s scared!” Granted, I was drunk, but that’s no excuse. So I’ll be better.

Saturday I did a boat load of nothing. Same on Sunday. But hey, I didn’t spend a dime this weekend!! Aren’t you all proud of me? I know I am!

I still don’t know what’s going on for the upcoming weekend. Its homecoming, but I don’t even know if I’m going. I’m still planning on going down to see Rachel, but I don’t know if we’ll go to Averett. I sort of don’t want to bother. Mikki isn’t going, we haven’t heard from Denise or Elizabeth. So who knows. I’ve got to give her a call tonight to see whats up.

Oh, and that graduate school stuff? I was just joking… Err, yeah. There is no way I can go back to school. I must have been insane when I thought of that.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that David thought it would be a hoot to toss firecrackers into the fire. This scared the crap out of me. Unfortuantly he did that early in the night, so every time I saw him put his hands into his pocket of his hoodie, I jumped up and ran away from the fire. Needless to say he did it a lot. He caught me napping once, and I didnt even notice him throwing it in. When they went off I screamed, freaked out and fell out of my chair. Not good times.

brown_eyed_girl · Oct 8, 2003

Bagels and hair

I'm eating what might be the most perfect bagel ever. Cinnimon sugar toasted with butter. Mmmm...

I'm wearing a long skirt today. It hits mid-calf. So of course I had to shave. I hadn't in about a week so it was really needed. Anyway, as I scratched my right ankle I realized that I missed a spot. No wait, upon further review I realized that I missed the entire leg. So I thought that I might have imagined my entire shower this morning. Okay, I know I took a shower. But did I really shave? Checked left leg. Nice and smooth. Great. Shaved left leg, hairy right leg. I wonder if I have matching armpit issues

ramblings of a 20something

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