printer says 'ready'; brain says 'dumb'

[amutepiggy]

practice was awesome last night. lots of scenework, lots of singing. i could use work on singing.

i'm tired of disposable men. last night i made out with some nice but sort of boring young fellow with the stupidest hair EVER. i mean EVER. it was sort of a mohawk but not a cool one; just the parts immediately over the ears. like a toupee placed delicately upon a bald head. ick.

perhaps this is the last straw. one day one of you will come along and be worth getting emotionally invested in. i'm sure of it.




ps exactly when did this journal become a pseudo-whiny account of my active yet unsatisying love life?

 

[amutepiggy]

pull back curtains! sun burns into eyes!

apologies to mike and heather's couch, my liver, and matt johnson (from whom i have stolen a substantial part of this post).

new hair today. new me? we'll see about that.





is this the day
my life falls into place?

 

[amutepiggy]

news flash!

who wants proof that my parents are awesome (besides the fact they procreated to create ME!)?

my mom took a beginner's improv class at a local community center this spring. she loved it so much now she and her classmates want to start a group. THAT IS SO CUTE!

we were going over possible names the other night. here are my favorites:

fortitude
the uninvited
all hang out (very samuel beckett, no?)

and my favorite

LOS NACHOS

it's spanish for "the nachos"

(i can't say it without giggling)

 

[amutepiggy]

today sucks. i feel mean and vindictive and everything is either irritating me or grossing me out. ugh, just the smell of my shampoo (which i normally like) made me want to throw up.

the only thing i'm in the mood for is laying my head on the pavement and having my skull crushed under a lumberjack's boot

 

[amutepiggy]

i'm better, thanks

my vegetarian coworker decided to go vegan last week. being new to the non dairy thing, he is not so good at remembering the foods he's now forbidding himself. yesterday we had drug club (which is not a club where we sit around and take drugs!), a monthy meeting of addiction labs at Penn that take turns presenting their research and buying everyone pizza. coworker forgot that pizza has cheese and had a bit of a dilemma- starve or abandon his principles?

he went with the latter.
i asked, "are you going to take the cheese off?"

his reply, complete with withering look: "i'm vegan, not retarded."

 

[amutepiggy]

hello i am bipolar today

wait i am bipolar EVERY day

i hate the fourth of july

wait i hate EVERY holiday except halloween

well, at least i'm vaugely consistent

 

[amutepiggy]

zip zap ZOMBIE BITE

dude i am so playing in NYC on friday. RBS in NYC at the PIT

CAN YOU STAND THE ACRONYMS AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

i guess this month marks the rare bird show world tour 2005: east coast terror mission. not terror like blowing things up. like making your heart stop with thrill-a-minute action! or a good zombie movie!

lots of flesh eating, oh yeah

love
the undead

ps i was very happy with practice tonight

 

[amutepiggy]

find the secret square and win a cadillac!!!!

HOW WAS NEW YORK YOU ASK!!!!

the cabal had the best show i've ever seen them do.

rare bird show was fine. but we played like it wasn't our home turf. it didn't feel right. lemar says everything goes back to sports for him and this is a comparison i understand very well. so to compare it to sports it is like we are not a good away team. i think it would be a good idea to get coaching.

i flaked on lemar's invitation to a double party in east village. sorry kate spencer, whom i have not met! happy birthday KATE SPENCER! also to other guy!

the reason i did not go was because i was at a rockin dance party in the east village. ginny and i owned the dance floor (with help from nathan) and i met a swell irishman. he is very witty. there is a good chance that he can keep up with me. he played me some wicked records (EXAMPLES: franz ferdinand/outkast mashup, joy division, and aalliyah uh huh) and we had a great time. several times.

and then more stuff happened yeah





"the delusion gas tank is but a gallon" - LeMar (is in Motorboat)

 

[amutepiggy]

MORE i feel political today

i hate hate hate hate hate hate karl rove

i love love love love love love love David Gregory and friends

white hous reporters finally stop being pussies and do their job

i don't want this to go away. bombings are sad but they already happened. the people have already died and that loss is going to be exploited by this administration (ahem karl rove) to distract the public from what really matters- jeopardizing national security to exact revenge for political dissent (AHEM karl rove). how the fuck can a government stand around talking about "defending freedom" when they use covert tactics to intimidate and punish dissentients who dare to challenge their questionable policies?

please help keep the issue alive by caring about it. this is a war we should be fighting- the one at home.

 

[amutepiggy]

i went completly mad senior year of college and began keeping up to 3 FEELINGS JOURNALS (can i put that in some kind of steel magnolias font or somthing?) at a time. as such i have a lot of old paper journals (plogs?) lying around my apartment. i was a senior in college but 3 years ago so i guess it isn't that many. still, they are solid matter and take up space (parenthetical statement?).

i went through some of them the other night. here's a "wee snippet" i found that i had forgotten i had written:

it was her desire to avoid gainful employment
and live out her days surrounded by parrots
writing love letters to phil elvrum


if you know who phil elvrum is i will buy you a take 5, the greatest candy bar ever made.

 

[amutepiggy]

this weekend i hung out with some old friends from college. i used to be in love with one of them. not the real kind- the unrequited kind. i have since moved on and realized that he's not actually right for me.

but somehow this weekend it all came back.

curse my inability to grow.



the show in baltimore was great

 

[amutepiggy]

it was a good day (OOOOWAH remix)

here is one way i could tell baltimore show was a good show:

our suggestion was "microphone". in our first group game i initiated a microphone check a la a dorkass roadie. at some point i heard an animal noise, so i picked up a triangle and made a mooing sound; next i picked up a duck and squeezed it like a bagpipe. then there were other bizarre noised being made as we checked the "reverb" (to make sure there was just enough, of course)

after the show was over i asked "who started making the animal noises?" matt and nathan said "you did!"
BUT I DIDN'T!!!! AIEEEEEEEEE! i started making animal noises because i heard somebody else doing it first! but having that kind of post-show discussion signifies that we experienced true discovery in our scenework. nobody knew exactly where anything came from, which means nobody was pulling the sled. YET SOMEHOW IT STILL MOVED THROUGH THE SNOWY HILLS!!!


also my reinfatuation was brief. maybe i am not such an emotional midget after all! to be perfectly honest it's that he's simply not around. he lives in the suburbs but never comes into the city to hang out with any of us from college- which makes him lame. i simply can't stand people who can't make some minimum effort to hang out with me. were i to have to deal with him on a day-to-day basis (as was the case in college) it would be like having a festering sore on my face.

 

[amutepiggy]

oh what a weekend.

cheers to everyone i met; i hope we can hang sometime. sorry again to that girl i bit when wrestling. i don't know what came over me. i really didn't want to lose.

if you try to call me, my phone is broken and lost (so don't bother).

oh

and i might be in love (but we'll see)

 

[amutepiggy]

put it in your brain pocket

phone is not lost, but the screen is broken and i think it may be out of batteries.

damn, i get so cocky sometimes. NY shows, the marathon in particular, are things that help keep that in check. the past 2 weeks i have gotten really great notes from conklin and LeMar that were just spot-on. example: it can be selling yourself short to call yourself out on something weird- for example, one of our group games was us holding our hands on "the last jar of preserves." we were pioneers, of course. i said something about there being oxen to be taken care of but instead of just leaving it at that i kept talking and said "which is weird that we're starving and haven't eaten them yet!" it would have been 100 x better if i had just taken note of that, in my brain, saying to myself "isn't it weird that we're fighting over the last jar of preserves and yet we've got oxen? HUH HOW WEIRD!!!")

wouldn't it have been more fun to watch us not want to take our one hand off the last jar of preserves and use the other to fling another ear of corn on the fire?

that was a good note. one thing i will remain cocky about is that i am good at taking notes. also i am totally bored by stereolab and belle & sebastian.



shit dawgs my arms hurt like HELL
it seems i will have a visitor this weekend YAY
i hope he does not mind mice BOO

 

[amutepiggy]

character flaw, still awesome

WEAKNESS: i am totally jealous of quality female improvisors. i hate that about me. i think i am a quality female improvisor, but i'm still jealous. WHAT A JERK ME!!!! s'cool i'm still pretty awesome a lot of the time

STRENGTH: putting wires in rat's heads!


love,
asshole

 

[amutepiggy]

gimme a medal or i'll pout

today's number is

29!

what a perfectly round number.

today i feel like a winner because my boss wants to buy me an air conditioner and i overdrew my account but called the wachovia to complain and they totally refunded half the fee PLUS an atm surcharge! WOOT!

huh. haven't felt very wordy lately, but not for reasons of crippling depression! WEIRD!!!!

going to see nathan in a play tonight. he'd better not blow it!!!!

let's end on something i wrote in a paper-journal last year:

i like efficiency
i like solitude

I LIKE RAT BRAINS





edit: the House just passed a totally retarded energy bill. the senate is expected to pass it tomorrow. read about it here (washignton post) or here (NY Times). please try calling your senators and urge them not to be retarded. in this current climate of high gas prices do big oil companies really need to be given tax breaks for deep sea drilling?

 

[amutepiggy]

awww damn

holy shit, i just noted the shit out of rare bird show. and through e-mail, too! i'm such a bitch!

no i'm not. i was hard on myself, too. i couldn't give myself i note- that's impossible- but i wrote one from DCM that i posted about earlier that was from conklin. you know, we simply can't get away with not having a coach; if we even want to come close we've got to stop being pussies tip-toeing around each other and get wicked mad harsh.

i just hope they note back.

 

[amutepiggy]

not so blue monday

ahhh, what a fine weekend. it is hard to be back to reality. my new favorite beer is boddington's. i also learned that in britain, the term "fanny" is highly inappropriate (supposedly it's comparable to saying "cunt"). this brings a whole new level of hilarity to disney t-shirt wearing american tourists rifling their chubby fingers through their vagina-packs for their maps of london!

regarding whether i'm in love: i don't know what it is, i only know what it isn't. if it doesn't work out it wasn't love and if it does, well, bully for me.

i am smitten. back to new york in 2 weeks, perhaps?

 

[amutepiggy]

back to new york in 2 weeks.

today i believed in something! maybe i overreacted but that's the pitfall of passion. i never liked altoids and now there's more fuel for the fire.

this is something somebody wrote in one of my notorious public journals. forgive me if it's misquoted.

"giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey
and car keys
to teenage boys."
- pj o'rourke

i don't even know if i spelled the name right. i don't reallly care. the other day a nice young irishman put his hand on my neck and said "i can feel your heartbeat."

i'm on top of the god damn world.

 

[amutepiggy]

achtung! rant ahead!

i started a thread about an altoids ad on the IRC because i thought this was a community of like-minded people who might see why there are problems with it. so why do people assume that because i'm posting about on the internet that i'm not doing anything else about it? i wrote to the new yorker's advertising department. i was in amnesty international in high school for 3 years and was a president-type for 2 of them. i call my senators to let them know how i feel. i'm joining a move-on or whatever the hell they're called now neighborhood possee.

i don't really have a problem with being made fun of for passionately reacting, mayhaps even going overboard. in fact, this keeps me (mostly) in check. i still think it's important to complain about stuff you don't like. even if it seems small.

i have a gigantic problem with people assuming that i'm posting for attention or something, that i don't really care about what i'm posting about, that i'm doing it to impress somebody i'm trying to scam on. AAAGH. FUCK THAT, with a huge piece of glass.

like i'd ever try to impress someone i want to sleep with by posting on the IRC, which is "no I'M the funniest guy in the room" central. besides, i'm a girl. you are the ones that have to impress me.

i'm actually quite pissed about the "spamming" comment. i thought people might be interested in the info. i like for people to be informed and express their opinions.many did. most told me i was nuts- fair enough. but why is that spamming? can someone explain that to me? i'm getting angrier and angrier thinking about it. WHY MUST I BE SO VOLATILE YARRRRRRRRRRRRGHH


and now i can let it die.

(but probably i won't)