Dear UCB Community,
Can you hate what you love? Can you destroy what you cherish? Could you burn the last remaining set of Shakespeare’s works if that meant saving one human life? Could you waste a bottle of 30 year-old Macallan sterilizing the wound of a loved one? These are some of the moral questions that plague Police Chief Rumble as we prepare for tonight’s Cagematch against Brother.
We love Brother, well, almost like a brother. We cherish their joy, their innocence, their inability to realize their limitations as improvisers. They are like precious baby blue robin eggs. Eggs we must roost on and ultimately crush so that, ironically, they can grow. Thason Qantzoukas is a delightful human being with an eternal flame of joy burning inside the hearth of his soul. This evening, though, we must extinguish that flame (yet again) and we must put the proverbial nail gun to the temple of the metaphorical calf’s head that is Brother. Sorry, Names Keason, but I love me some veal.
PCR has never lost a Cagematch. No one has even voted against us. Look it up. And tonight our immaculate record will continue. Audiences can’t help but to love us unconditionally. And for eternity. Good-bye dear, sweet, wretched Brother. Tonight PCR shall reign as the indisputable comedic geniuses of the world. Again.
Your Faithful Servant,
D.W. Martin IV, Esq. Duc d’Orleans
Can you hate what you love? Can you destroy what you cherish? Could you burn the last remaining set of Shakespeare’s works if that meant saving one human life? Could you waste a bottle of 30 year-old Macallan sterilizing the wound of a loved one? These are some of the moral questions that plague Police Chief Rumble as we prepare for tonight’s Cagematch against Brother.
We love Brother, well, almost like a brother. We cherish their joy, their innocence, their inability to realize their limitations as improvisers. They are like precious baby blue robin eggs. Eggs we must roost on and ultimately crush so that, ironically, they can grow. Thason Qantzoukas is a delightful human being with an eternal flame of joy burning inside the hearth of his soul. This evening, though, we must extinguish that flame (yet again) and we must put the proverbial nail gun to the temple of the metaphorical calf’s head that is Brother. Sorry, Names Keason, but I love me some veal.
PCR has never lost a Cagematch. No one has even voted against us. Look it up. And tonight our immaculate record will continue. Audiences can’t help but to love us unconditionally. And for eternity. Good-bye dear, sweet, wretched Brother. Tonight PCR shall reign as the indisputable comedic geniuses of the world. Again.
Your Faithful Servant,
D.W. Martin IV, Esq. Duc d’Orleans
