Our Top Story: Jailbait Turns 18.

[jady]

well...goddess, it's been a big week. (yes, I meant to say goddess, not goodness. I'm actually an athiest myself, but when it comes to possible deities, I find the idea of a mother goddess much more believable than that of a cold, male-dominated faith)

argh.

ok. I'm not feeling too happy, so I'll just run through a quick bit of my experience at the DCM. women improvisors kick ass. so do saints.



I'll finish this later. somehow I'm not in the mood.

 

[jady]

so I never talk about improv. I once told ryan that I didn't think I could have opinions about improv untill I'd been doing it for over a year. of course, that was much longer than 12 months ago. on a side note, yay yay yay. I've known ryan for over a year. it's gone by fast. best year of my life. improv, soccer, school, friends, and my love. but enough. this is an improv post. *gasp from the crowd*

I LOVE theatre. improv and musical theatre are my two favorites, but basically anything in which people get on stage and make people either burst into tears, laugh untill thier sides hurt, or re-think thier life, ids my passion. I love the stage. l-o-v-e. in fact, the only downfall of taking the director program at DePaul is that we're not allowed to audition for the plays. anyway, here's what I want to do. I have just adored Baby Wants Candy, both times I've seen them. they're so talented, and I love the musical aspect. so my goal for this next year is to learn musical improv, get over my fear of singing in front of live things, and find a troupe (hopefully BWC) that'll have me. I think it's realistic.

but then, if you had told me 12 months ago that I'd be living in chicago, learning how to direct, and a mere 3 miles away from a wonderful boyfriend, I would have never believed you. proof that life often turns around your direction into a new, weird,unexpected and brilliant way. jeasus, I'm inspired for an athiest. uke:

 

[jady]

agh. what a day. it started out that I was jolted from sleep by the doorbell ringing. now, my bedroom is in the basement, in the corner, so it's practically the furthest from the door that i can possibly get. Also, I have a waterbed with wooden sides, meaning that every morning, I have to climb over a virtual wall to get out of bed. and the doorbell really shocked me...so I got into one of thoe heart-pumping, groping-for-glasses-and-stumbling-into-boxers rushes to the door. and it was the maids.
no, I'm not rich, nor is my family. we don't have a particuarly large or complicated house. my stepdad is just an asshole, and can't handle cleaning up after himself. so we have a bi-weekly maid service, who basically come in, wipe off the bathroom counters with toilet paper, swiffer the hardwood floor upstairs, and re-arrange the keyboard and mouse on the computer desk.

so, anyway, I can't go back to sleep, so I wander around the house, drive my sister over to a fruit stand to buy strawberries, call ryan, go to work....look. this is what's been bugging me for the last 24 hours. My mother and my stepfather, last night, decided to have a sort of a 'state of the union' talk with me. and it came up that I should start doing yoga (they hate it that I quit soccer, because when I was really into it, I was a bloody maniac)
well, heres the thing. yoga is difficult for me. my mother had amniotic band syndrome when she was carrying me, resulting in not only half my right hand being chopped off, but also, my right arm is weaker and about an inch shorted than my left. this makes it very hard to do yoga poses like Downward Facing Dog, not only because of the arm strength involved, but because the differeing lengths stress one side of my body more than the other. and, considering it took about 10 lines to explain that, you can imagine how....um....well, it's embarassing. and I didn't want them to push it. but they did, talking about buying me foam blocks, getting a special mat, etc.
I hate it when my parents get into that 'remember, our daughter is slightly crippled' mindset. it makes them try to think up *fun* *exciting* ways to deal with me being lopsided. it's much more degrating that just letting me struggle for a bit and figure it out for myself. I hate it. it makes me feel very mean, and useless, and feel a painfully christian shame when my hand cramps up ( a side effect of one of my 13 surguries, in which they rewired the tendons to give me more movement. makes my wrist sore and my hand very weak. of course, my mom tried to fix this by getting me a stress ball to squeeze...*sigh*)

.................................................................................................

on a side note, I really hate it when people try to help me out...you know, like they're being subtle. take my wrist instead of shaking my hand. shit like that. I taught myself to play the violin and tie my shoes, I can fucking shake your hand, open bottles, etc.

...............................................................................................

anyway. I've been really mean to ryan. I hate it. it's bitchy Mcangryjady, and he doesn't deserve it. I'm just taking shit out on him.
so I'm sorry, baby.

:love:

:love:

:angel:






:exp:







goddess I want to be in chicago.

 

[jady]

dammit. I wrote out an entire reply, but this computer cancelled it. ok. lemme try again.

I went to laughing (laffing?) stock tonight, which actually turned out to be pretty fun. Ben porter, who emcee-ed trolley brawl, got me and nathalie in for free, and I talked ot him for about 30 min. he's a really great guy, with a wonderful sense of improvlove, and VERY nice. I don't think he knew that I was 'with' ryan, so I may have shocked him (this happens quite a bit, as we're not that public of a couple, I guess.) but it was very good fun. I also met the troupe after the show, and hopefully I'll get a little stage time? I want to so very bad...but, anyway, very nice boys, and it's an entirely male-dominated troupe-which I'm beginning to think I like a WHOLE lot. it's nice to be the tomboy/oneoftheguys/chick amongst dicks. anyway, it was agood night, good fun, and maybe I'll push my luck and try out QW SLC tommorow night? we'll see.

miss my ry.

 

[jady]

did NOT go to quick wits, instead I stayed at home, ate chinese food, and felt generally like shit.

I did get a Kitten, however.

 

[jady]

technically, this is a fish NAMED kitten. but still, a pet. I love him. he's wonderful and blue.

I made 69.75 today!!! with my shirt on the whole time! how, you ask? by fucking kicking telemarketing ass!!! :angel:

 

[jady]

I want to talk about something that I've never really mentioned before...it's a sort of...event, or phenomenon, or something. so listen

I'm pretty tuned into my body. and sometimes, for just the strangest reasons, I become convinced that I'm pregnant. now, I'm no virgin, so it's not that unreal to think of, but I had these sort of phantom pregnancy scares even when I was an untouched young'um. now that thing that really freaked me out is that every single girl friend of mine has had that same feeling, that terrifying and totally convincing inkling that they were, in fact, impregnated. and of course, being the 4.0, honor roll, going to harvardyaleprincton girls that we are, pregnancy is the modern equivilant of the black death-something that would ruin us, ruin our futures, ruin our perfect GPAs and SATs. we've all had this same fear. as my friend 'mary' once said 'and who would believe that we had never had sex, if we WERE pregnant? noone. it's horrible'


weeeeeeird fuckin' fears.

 

[jady]

I'm listening to 'take on me' as I write this- a very very awesome song, and one of the best music videos of all time (thriller being number one in my mind, as well as VH1's, apparently.)

I noticed that the only way to get my actual diologue on the IRC in Ry's journal is to discuss stripping, but I wasn't joking. I'd love to take one of those workout classes where they teach you moves, and everyone gets to try it out-read about it in cosmo, they're supposed to be hilariously fun. if anyone knows about some in chicago, I want to know!

I'm wondering how crowded my life will be this coming year, in classes and hopefully improv on the side. ryan and I will have some fuuuuckin' mis-matched schedules...I predict there will be many a night where I either won't see my man, or just get to sleep with him and kiss him on his way to work in the morning. he lives about 3 miles away from my dorm (well, hopefully it's my dorm, I'll tell you why*)

on a side note, did I ever mention that my english teachers always hated me, cus I would ignore them, not read the book, then write an awesome essay? I actually write WORSE when I read the text. exceptions: Kafka, a bit of Illende, and I attempted to read Dickens, before I realized he was a fuckin' hack who wrote purposely and needlessly long stories (he was paid by the word) end of aside.

so three miles- that can be quite a bit with classes in the morning and dormmates to not alienate. I just hope they're cool with ryan. I can imagine the housing people pairing me up with a morman, as I'm from utah, and asked spesifically to be paired with a quiet, NON smoker. in fact, other than the prude-ness, a nice, sweet, fun morman girl would be a great roommate. but I refuse to move to college just to gain another maternal figure, religious fanatic, or biased judge of my character. I just want someone........................livable.

*ok, so my dorm. I visited this building when I went to audition for the acting program and interview for the GTS promram. I won't say the name, for safety reasons (actually, they've got awesome security-they buzz you in, make you show id, take down your name, and you have to come in with someone who lives in this actual building. i like, cuts down on stalkers) but it's got usually three people to a room, and there's such tall ceilings-it's awesome. each room has two huge closets, there's a rec room, laudry room, and co-ed bathrooms on each floor. it is SO cool. very much better than any other dorms I looked at. I love em. I want them. *hope hope hope hope hope*

it occurs to me that I haven't put up a picture here in a while. so here's a picture of Kafka and his (supposed) alter ego, the former Gregor Samsa:

 

[jady]

going to Run Lola Run tonight at midnight. my boyfriend passed out in the middle of IMing me last night. I was worried. so I'll kill him later. after the we're-back-together canoodling.

have I changed this summer? more on this troubling issue later.

miss my man. (alliteration)

 

[jady]

Meredith and I went to the saturday morning market downtown. it's one of the only places in salt lake city that I really could imagine living, this sort of artist/coffee/french cafe neighborhood, with all these new studio apartments. so mere and i decided to feign interest and look inside. the apartments were awesome! they had dark red stone floors, exposed brick walls, and huge windows. I enjoyed it like crazy-if I had to live in SLC, I'd live there.

I'm really going to miss that girl. we've lived next door to each other for the last 4.5 years, which makes her my not-really-but-my-mom-wishes sister. she's going to Harvard on the 27th, the day after her 18th birthday.

I'm also really going to miss, well, lots of people. the improvisors, naturally, and also those girls I went through high school with-we were in all the crazy-hard classes, and I spent many a sleepless night, either studying with or consoling a stressed out, 3.95 GPA friend. now they're going to harvard, yale, princeton, penn, scripps...but I think I'm the only one going to my dream school. I expect lots of stressed out emails. :angel:

 

[jady]

meredith is awesome. she's afaird she'll never find a guy who will fall head over heels for her, and I'm amazed she hasn't. she's so funny-very Emma Thompson type dry wit. and she's fuckin' smart. my mom just loves that girl. it was really interesting yeaterday, because I had a talk with my sister, then meredith about men. they're polar opposites, but both of them gave me nearly the same advice. very strange.

I am very scared that my roommates will become best friends who hate me, prudes, or girly girly girls. or all three. ew.

I worry.

 

[jady]

Moody McJady

I thought a long distance relationship would be fun. and cute. and romantical, and sweet. it's not. it sucks. I think the biggest problem has been that I'm prone to being paranoid and assuming and being scared that suddenly he's going to turn around and not love me (even though I'm pretty rationally sure that he wouldn't, and I adore him, but um yes well um ok, so i'm crazy) so every time we talk on the phone, it's so hard to tell just what he's thinking, without seeing his face, or hearing his exact tone of voice. I miss that closeness. can't wait to annoy him and be tickled into submission.

got fired today....oh, btw, anyone who tells you that girls are awesome is lyyyyyyyyyyyying. they're mean and selfish and no good in a time of saddness and I'll miss them so much! argh. must go eat fattening food.

(this post was V.G., feel self in bridget jones-like stupor)

 

[jady]

I have exaxtly 6 min and 37 seconds to write this post, and I peck, so it'll be short and sad. my basement flooded, meaning that I can't use the computer all the time any more. I miss it. and it also means that I'm out of the loop when it comes to improv and this board. but anyway, 10 days untill I leave for Chi-town. my roommates have been making me think a lot. Rosemary hasn't really said anything, which makes me worry, but lauren has been awesome. I talked to her about ryan, and his age, and she basically said "if he loves you, and respects you, then thats all that matters, isn't it?" I think I am really going to like her. that was so what I needed to hear.

anyways, improv is making me very sad to leave. some people, I can live without (thats right, mario! no, no, I kid) and some people are going to cut a peice of my heart out when I give them that last hug before the plane.

but just look at my school. so worth it


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I love my boyfriend and I'm going to pounce him when I get in town.

ha!!!!! 1 minute and 8 seconds to spare. if i could, I'd post a picture....but I['m lazy. more later.

TEN DAYS!!!!

 

[jady]

ry- "don't know why I'm still afraid/if you weren't real I would make you up"

the american wedding soundtrack is goooooood. the above quote comes from a song in it...very sad song, but it just sounds wonderful. I like it a lot. except avril, she can die.

now that my moving day is just over a week away, it's occured to me a few things that i KNOW will happen. first of all, I'm going to be dealing with a lot of the the ol' "what happened to your hand?" mostly it doesn't bother me, I just make a joke, then explain about amniotic band syndrome (the supposed cause of my cripple-dom) but it is excruciatinly annoying to me that people just assume that I want to explain. it's like I'm an old veteran, and they just KNOW that the one story I have to tell is how I lost fingers and thumb. It wasn't a glory moment for me, it's not a shining example of how i triumphed over adversity, and it certainly isn't the pinicale of my proudly-different-ness. I don't like people blaming or giving credit to physical characterisitcs that MADE them who they are. you are who you are because of your nature. a coward will be a coward, if he has glass-brittle bones or not. I'm not saying that people arn't affected by what they are, but I DO NOT want to go down in history as a shining example of imperfection. if I become a great actress, I don't want to be The Great Actress Who Had a Freaky Hand but Got Roles Anyway. and I certainly don't want to spend my first week in my dorms explaining that no, my hand doesn't hurt, yes I had surgery, no it's not genetic, yes I'm left handed, no I don't have special parking privilages, yes you can touch it. maybe I'll wear mittens

I'm worried about moving. my family and I are not getting along right now, but I will miss them. and my friends are all leaving before me, so thursday and friday will be mostly family days and packing days.

so when does this get fun?

 

[jady]

so I'm here

I'm finally here, in the great city of Chicago, and it's been raining for 36 hours. I have 4 big goals for the next school year:

1) write a page a day, on one of my two ongoing hopefully-one-day-novels. if I miss a day, I'll make it up on the weekend, if I write more than a page, kudos to me. but a page a day. 7 pages a week. so, god willing, I'll have a book finished in 18 months.

2) write a big, detailed email once a week to a select few friends. if they don't write back, they they're shitty correspondents and I curse thier children.

3) keep my room and myself organized, keep clean, don't gain the freshman 15.

4)I* need a 3.3 GPA to keep my scholarship, what I really want is to keep a steady 3.6.


if I do all of this, it'll set me on my path of being able to go to europe next summer, maybe intern at a publishing company, maybe do something else. I don't simply want to keep my head above water, I want to float with ease, and I know that'll take work and focus.


I need a work-study job.
and to keep better track of my money
and I really hate this cavity in my molar. it hurts. should get it filled.
I'm so excited for all of this!





:up:

 

[jady]

my roommates and I are going to a workout class tommorow morning at 7:30. if nothing else, it should be a bonding experience. I'm so happy with my ryyan. he's wonderful. more later.

 

[jady]

orientation is killing me. as is throat cancer. I woke up the morning before last with a sore throat and a nose running like speedy-fuckin-gonzales. and it's not better. I'm dying.

so I had to wake up this morning at 7 to go to meeting about things that don't interest or involve to me, learning how to apply for classes that I don't need to take, and taking tests that, with my SAT scores and AP/IB credits, I am exempt from.
AND AND AND!!!! my computer isn't working in my dorm room yet, and my roommates Ro + Lo (rosemary and Lauren) are suuuuuch good friends, who write notes on our white board like "hey Lo, I gtg to the gym. Love ya lots! ~Ro"

ugh
ugh
ugh
ugh

oh, and on a side note, other then Ryyan, Matt, Dave, and possibly Graeme (sp?), there are NO straight men in chicago. or at least in the Chicago Education system.

it's a good thing I love this town.

 

[jady]

it's nice to have that out in the open

I was so so so bloody unhappy about school, like, 48 hours ago. because I was told that, as a theatre student at DePaul, I wouldn't be allowed to try for any other theatre project. and since I can't audition within the school, that would mean i would spend 4 years NOT acting. but I mentioned this to Frank, one of my teachers (and a hilllllllariously funny guy), and he told me it was just for acting students, not just GTS students!!!! it just goes to show you how happy you can be if you put something out in the open, and get the honest response.

so, anyway, this means that I'm gonna start looking for auditions at the theatres around my school, and down the el lines. I'm so excited to try out for a few things!!!

Ryan and I had our aniversary thingy last night. we went out to dinner, the Lion King, and stayed the night in Hotel Allegro. all three were very very fun. and I love him. I love and I feel very very loved. so it's just all good here in the big Chi-town. Ryan, matt, dave, another matt, eve and tim and I are going to a party tonight, which could actuallly be very fun for me-meeting his friends, and just having a night of good fun. yay!


scar was awwwwesome

 

[jady]

well, I finally found it...a picture of me that actually looks halfway decent
! I'm very happy with it, even though I'm wearing a silly hat, and grinning like a just-graduated ninny. ah, high school, my old lover, where art thou now?

there. thats better.

 

[jady]

My mother and my sister came into town this weekend, and we went shopping like crazy. as a result, I have some nice black boots, a good coat, new bras, nice shirts, etc etc etc....my internet hadn't been working for about the last 50 hours, so i was really scared that I would have to go down to the student sevices building to get all of my homework done, (3-4 page paper on how a piece of sculpture relates to me, 3 paragraph response to a tour of sculpture, 1 page review of a concert, another two page response to the tour, a one page essay about my study skills, and 5 grammar quizzes)

and I have to go online and find an image from a production of Hamletmachine and expplan how it relates to my reading of the actual play.....



ok, you know what? I'll journal later. I have a :tsk: lot of shit to do.