Our Friend Jeremiah

[Jeremiah77]

the curse of 10:00 AM

I have gotten to work at 10:00am everyday this week. I need to stop that. I'm supposed to be here at 9:00am. 9:30 is excusable but this 10:00 business is a little sloppy. Who do I think I am? Super-Temp?

Yesterday there was this party for an assistant that was leaving the college. Oh man, I wish you all could have been there. There were speeches. One of the head honcho college burecrats actaully thanked her for help in processing forms. Another head honcho had this book of quotations and read several that were neither helpful nor inspiring. And everyone would clap after people were finished speaking. But everyone had either wine or a plate in their hand so as you looked at people clapping you saw all these people trying to balance whatever they were holding and clap at the same time. It was this big salute to administrative assistance. I was finding myself biting my lips shut with a big smile trying not to bust out lauging. You should have seen the book of quotations it was really big with pages marked with post-it notes.

In a week, I will have been here, temping at this college, for nine months. I was talking to another assistant yesterday. He said he started off like me as a Super-Temp--floating around the departments. He's been here for three years. Is that what I am? Super-Temp? People tell me I do a good job even when I pull stuff like getting here at 10:00am. I think the deal is that I do stuff when I'm given it to do and that impresses them.

But I don't want to be a Super-Temp. If I have been here so long why don't I just go perm? But the reason I don't want to go perm is so I can open up my schedule and go on auditions. I've done that a little bit recently. But I'm starting to feel that this is my job--Super-Temp. But no, I refuse... I need to start looking for a felxible night job so I can put the Super-Temp away.

I started being a Super-Temp around this time last year because I worked at this restaurant as a strolling character actor. It's called the Jekyll and Hyde Club. Maybe you've heard of it. I worked there since May of 2000. It's awful money and you have to put up with garbage from both management and the customers but it was kind of fun. I really liked the other strolling character actors and it got me into Equity. NOTE: IF YOU ARE IN NEW YORK CITY AND WANT TO JOIN EQUITY, THE EASIEST WAY BY FAR IS BY BEING HIRED BY THE JEKYLL AND HYDE CLUB. I was there for a around two years before I said I better move on. I still worked there on an on-call status until I was "taken" off the schedule because of comments I made on my website. Check out http://www.jeremiahmurphy.net and click on the "Complaints" page and scroll down to July 27. So, I worked there for three years. I think it kind of made me feel of more of an actor because I was getting a paycheck (however meek and infrequently--I think the accountant counted on his fingers, when he bothered to count at all) and I worked with other actors. I think working with other actors is the key.

Oh, by the way if you're interested in working at Jekyll and Hyde as a strolling character actor. Drop of your resume and a cover letter highlighting your experience in improv, dinner theatre, and doing character voices. It's a fun job if you can dodge the management.

At least now, I'm making more money as a temp and doing less actual work. But I feel like I'm just turning into an internet addicted slob. I need to get out there. I need to get out of here.

A friend of mine hooked me up with ehr manager and he's sent me out on a couple auditions. I got a callback for one last week and this week he asked for thirty of my headshots, so I guess that's a good sign. I make little short videos. I think i'm going to send some of those off to the Daily Show, Conan, SNL, and anybody else I can think of.

I want to get in the habit of sending 5 post cards a day out to agents and casting directors. I've really been lazy about getting my name out there. I have to push myself more.

Yesterday at lunch, I had another one of those I've-been-in-New-York-for-Four-Years moments. I'm totally better off than when I came here, but still I feel like I don't do enough.

I've noticed that the Sharpie Ultra Fine Point pen are the best for writing on the backs of post cards.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Horrible Dream

In my dreams last night, I had one where I had to replace the toner in the laser printer at my temp job. On the weekend no less.

The temp agency will be billed two work hours for this dream, because it did take place in the office I work.

I have to write my sketch for sketch writing class tonight. i have around four hours. It is around half done. I have to stick closer to my premise. i just had my breakfast so I think I'm ready to go.

I'm rocking out to Prince's "Batdance." A brilliant song.

Lately, I've been listending toa lot of internet radio, mainly spoken word old time programs, like "Dragnet" and "Fibber McGee." It's pretty cool stuff. on my iTunes its on the radio menu under spoken word, and the station is ACB. Check it out. it's cool to see what people did within the confines of just be able to show the sound of something. And some of the funny stuff is really funny.

OK, back to my sketch writing.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Smilies

:banana: :banana: :banana:

I discovered smilies today. :inlove: Smilies are my new hobby. They are the sunshine of my life. :angel:

OK, I had sketch writing class today and there were many unexcused absences. the teacher and class made the most of it. But shame on you for not showing up, people. I'm kind of proud of my sketches. I'm learning how to look at drafts of sketches and take out what isn't funny or necessary and heighten what is already funny in it. I've also learned there is no better way to make people laugh than to make specifics. I think today was my first time in this sketch writing endeavor where I was making myself laugh while I was writing it. :jump: That doesn't always mean it's funny to other people. my brain has a weird way of processing humor where I kind of extend and continue thoughts in my head and through this process mild things become really funny to me. Or sometimes I find subtle things funny because they deviate from the norm.

I was watching "The Trials of Henry Kissinger" tonight. I was having a tough time following it. I always thought I was kind of up on the up and up of politics, but maybe I'm not. If anything, I've realized that if I ever launch a secret bombing raid on Cambodia that results in the death of over 100,000 civillians, I hope Christopher Hitchens doesn't find out about it. :mope:

I had a class once with Pat McCartney at UCB. He was subbing in for Michael Delaney. it was a real interesting class he had cool exersizes and really got the class moving. I just remembered him, because he would yell "SPECIFICS" at us to drill into us that good scene work has to have specifics. I wondered what happened to that guy.

I was really getting into the Democrat race for the president a few months back but then realized how far away the primaries were, but recently I got interested in it again. I started reading Michael Moor's "Dude, Where's My Country?" He talks a lot about how Saudi Arabia is the source for a lot of problems with the US, most of the 9/11 terrorists were Saudi, yet we invaded Afganistan. We can overlook the nastiness of the Saudi government because a lot of Saudi money is tied into the US economy even though they oppress their citizens and protect the bin Ladens (who may or may not reject Osama--where is this big bad guy anyway?). Anyway, i was supporting Howard Dean before, because when the Iraq war brokeout he was very loudly opposed to it. But recently I didn't know if I liked him anymore or not. I didn't know if he was too brash. But I saw him on C-SPAN and someone asked what he thought about getting tough on Saudi Arabia and he was all for it. That made me support him all they way again.

Basically the point of this entry is me trying to prolong the weekend.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Bathroom Reading

I think I mentioned before how I kind of am duped to read whatever I have in my bathroom over and over again. Well, this month it has been the Time Out New York from the week of Halloween. In it they list all this scary stuff in the city and one of the things is the North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA). I keep reading this in the bathroom, that NAMBLA has a New York City PO Box. Does NAMBLA really exist? It sounds too ridiculous and too wrong. But I keep reading it when I'm in the bathroom. Do they have a cross word puzzle in Time Out? Maybe I'll start doing that instead.

Tiffany who works down the hall just got in. 10:18 am, not too shabby Tiffany. I was 9:48 am myself. I think I smell a challenge.

When I roll out of loft in the morning and am late for work but still want to feel fresh and sexy, I put on my Old Spice deodorant. Old Spice.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Lately I've been giving myself rules to live by in an attempt to better my life, health-wise, career-wise, money-wise... I give myself lofty goals thinking that I'm a champ and going to turn a new leaf. However I easily give up these goals only to promise them again the following week. I think this process might have been ongoing since...well maybe for a year or two... or longer.

Anyway, my friend, Stace, suggested that I use small goal at first, things that are changes but not massive tiddle waves of impossibility.
Thanks, Stace.

Some of my short goals.

1. Only eat fast food twice a week.
2. Only drink soda twice a week.
3. Only go to the ATM once a week, preferrably on Saturday.
4. Throw away my junkmail as opposed to sorting it in piles.
5. Write for thirty minutes a day.
6. Send 10 postcards a week to agents and the like.
7. Write two letters a week to people who's work I admire.
8. Put together ten headshots and resumes per week.
9. Do Five things a day that are somehow connected to furthering my career (sending a post card, doing some research, updating my website, editing a video)
10. Edit a video project once a week.
11. Make my lunch four times a week.
12. Work-out four times a week.
13. Store my dirty clothes in one location.

I think I'll start there for now. I thinks its a little silly to program my life, but I want to see how this works.

****

I had Improv class last night. Another good one. Although I felt this one was a little more work than the other classes. The teacher told me to bring a character into the scene and to stop being myself. Basically to stop approaching each scene the same way. I tried out a little bit, I hope it made a difference. I know what the teacher was saying. I kind of start the scene and wait to agree with my partner.

****

I am frigging tired.

****

This professor in the Philosophy departments today was like, "If you work here you should get a sun lamp these flouresecent lamps are horrible." Then we talked about the psychological affect of lighting. I heard somewhere that flouresecent lights make some people submissive. Then she says something like "I wonder if we were hear at night if we would have trouble sleeping because of the light from the sun lamp."

Lady, I leave at five. I don't see any possible situation when we would both be in the office late at night, trying to get some decent sleep.

****

Go visit my website, traffic's been down.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Smilies Revisited

I just reviewed my entry where I talk about how awesome smilies are. I don't really use smilies that much in the post. Did I really celebrate the smiley in that entry. i don't think so and I won't in this one either. I have to run back to work.

I auditioned for a sketch comedy show last night. We had to do Improv. I was in no mood. But I think I did all right. They gave us which characters to be and what the situation was--so they did all the work. One of the characters I had to do was the Pope, but a Pope of my choosing. I made him southern and folksy. I kind of liked it. I think I'll save him for another time. In a lot of the scenes I pimped out my partners to dostuff because I was tired and felt a little feverish. I know this is bad but they were asking me questions in the scenes so I thought everything was fair game after that.

Oh, crap, I'm going to be so late getting back to work.

 

[Jeremiah77]

The Monday

Last night was the last night in my sketch writing class. It was a good one. I've come away from the class with six sketches that I think i can rewrite and send out to show people a sample of what types of things I can write. Ali was really good at going over scripts and seeing where they could be tweaked or if they didn't work to see what your jokes were and what the sketch should be. He said something interesting last night, he said a lot of sketch writers will get a good premise but not tell any jokes. You really have to mine your sketch and look at every possibility to tell a joke and have no fear of being offensive. I've noticed by taking this approach my writing has more of an edge and offensiveness to it. I don't know if its good or bad.

I just got cast in a holiday sketch show at Above Kleptomania. It should be fun. I think we should all go together and make a night out of it. I noticed that all of the sketches were written in different fonts and formats and none of them were in the traditional sketch template that I was taught in my recently completed six week sketch writing class at the Peoples Improv Theater. I'm not really a member of this sketch group so I didn't want to speak out of bounds and come off as a know-it-all. I appear in two sketches so far. I had to write a bio for the show this is what I wrote:

Jeremiah Murphy is a member of the vaudeville physical comedy group, The Golden Age. Recently he was a resurrected stand up comedian in Carrot and Stick in the New York Fringe Festival. In college, he received a callback to Julliard (Ooooh!). Jeremiah currently plays a slightly southern, charming, and incompetent office temp at Barnard College. He has studied at The PIT, UCB, and Michael Howard Studios. Jeremiah is excited and thankful for being in AK’s holiday show. You can see several of his writings and short films at www.jeremiahmurphy.net Happy Holidays!

Last week, one of my bosses,. the chair of the Philosophy Department, wanted to have lunch with me--I guess to discuss the roles of my job or something. And I was really dreading it. I was like, what are we going to talk about for an hour? Then I get to work this morning and find out he has been checked into the hospital with viral meningitis. I hope he gets better. I did some research on it and it's not as scary as it sounds. Most people with healthy immune systems get over it within 7-10 days. It's rarely contagious. And the best way to treat it is to stay at home and rest up. But it is an infection of your meninges, a protective layer of your brain and spinal cord and that is scary. I won't be so down on having lunch when he gets better.

I saw that Matrix Revolutions movie this weekend. I liked it, although the person I saw it really hated it and I had to hold her back from lunging at the movie screen with a rusty leg-razor. I thought it was cool but cans see while people didn't like it. I liked the first one because it was like a movie I hadn't seen before. Then the second one was cool, but I felt like it didn't have that mystique. Also with the second one you leave the matrix and see the whole world which I thought was cool. In the third one they leave it even more. I kind of like the grit of the Matrix city and wanted to be in that world more then the actual world of the machines and stuff. But as I movie I thought it was good. If I like saw the matrix and decided that the MAtrix was cool and that my new Favorite movie was going to be the MAtrix series, I can see how I would be disappointed because they build on each other, the sequels progress on a journey, they don't expand on the original movie. You know what I mean? Like all the Batman movies are the same formula, whereas these Matrix movies are episodes of a story that take you to different locations. So, in itself, I thought it was a good movie but if I wanted to see more of what I saw in the first Matrix, I would have been pissed.

 

[Jeremiah77]

I've Had It

I think I have the most unread journal on this damn board. I see people with fractions--mere fractions of the amount of entries that I have with like triple the readership. What gives? And when I post on the Off-Topic Forum I like kill threads. Nobody cares about my comments except Mo Nose.

I've been reading some of these journals with high readerships. And I'll tell you one thing folks, you're not going to hear about sex, porn, or Armando here. I'm going to have to get some gimmicks going.

Y'all, the other night I went to Wendy's and had a feast for like $5.36. A feast! I ordered straight off the 99 cent menu. What did I get? I got two Bacon Junior Cheeseburgers, French Fries, a small chili, and a coke. A friggin feast, I had. And delicious too. I dipped the bacon cheese burgers into the chili. Even the crackers that came with the chili were good. Man, what a good meal. I'm punishing myself by thinking of it because I'm like a mile away from all Wendy's right now. The chili there is really good.

 

[Jeremiah77]

maybe this will work

Oh, man! I had the best Harold last night! Tits!

 

[Jeremiah77]

Wendy's WHy Have You FOrsaken Me?

Wendy's where are you? I tried your store locator but its busted. Does anyone know of a Wendy's in the Columbia area?

Please help folks, nobody reads my journal and I am very hungry for Wendy's Chili.

PS I just heard some sexy lady walking down the hallway towards me, the clicking of heals, the swishing of pants... it turned out to be some dude. Will this day ever end? And what the hell was the wet thing my finger just touched on my keyboard?

 

[Jeremiah77]

The day trudges on

I am now attempting a trip to the vending machine in Lower Level Macintosh in hopes that it has been restocked with the single servings of Mrs Field's Cookies. Maybe they can get my mind off of Wendy's Chili.

I also have to stop by office services and pick up a copy job.

A professor gave me a paper earlier today to make copies of. I had to make ten copies. I was like, I'm not standing by that copy machine for ten minutes, I'm single side copying this baby. Two sided copying takes so long. "It saves paper, it saves paper!" They cry. You know what saves paper? Not making copies in the first place. Because, honey, thhey still have to order that paper and if you don't use it, it's jsut going to sit there. If you're so concerned about saving paper you'd have all your class materials strictly on the computer. Gerald Smith style.

OK. enough of this jab-jabby blather, the vending machine awaits below, and I must venture into the belly of the beast.

Visit my websites.

 

[Jeremiah77]

The worst

Barnard College has the crappiest vending machines. In the spot where Mrs Fields once sat now sits pound cake. WHo gets pound cake out of a vending machine? "Mmm, I feel like a snack, I hope the vending machine has pound cake, I'd be in heaven." That never happens. So, to recap the events for msyelf, since I'm the only one who reads this journal. I got a four pack of soft patch chocolate ship cookies. A disappointment. Then I got two Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Apparently two were too many because now I feel sick.

I swung by office services and picked up my copies. They guy in charge of office services treats his employees like they're his stooges and he's Moe. A bald, tall, lanky Moe who could use a little more riboflavin in his diet.

Office Services, man. Those guys make it happen. The mail room division of office services is another story. You ask a simple question like "when does Fedex come by everyday?" and you get a different response from every person, as if the answer is a matter of opinion.

Maybe the cafeteria in Lower Level Mac is open. Starving.

 

[Jeremiah77]

New Love

I am having a love affiar with the group game. What a terrific oppurtunity to showboat. I like having someone else initiate it then find moments where I can pop off a witty one-liner or systematically steal the scene. I know, I know, improv is all about making the people who share the stage look good. You know what, they look fine. I want to have some fun.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Marketing My IRC Journal

Since, I have determined that interest in my happenings and musings on the IRC aren't even drawing a native readership above the low teens, I am forced to market my IRC journal to the masses. Yesterday I typed a few choice words related to sex into my entries so I would pop up on the searches easier and had a boom of 20 views. I hope there's enough bandwidth on this mother to withstand such a boom. Boom! My journal getting 20 views is like the Red Sox winning a game, you know its possible but you seldom see it.

In the above statement, I was tempted to use "Cubs" instead of Red Sox but I realized many of the IRC are in Chicago (if not physically, then in their hearts) and I didn't want to risk life or limb. So, I made fun of the Red Sox, because I'm sort of from Massachusetts and they sort of lose all the time.

I'm not a big fan of following sports. Sports seemed to have lost their immediacy after I read The Most Dangerous Game in Mrs Still's English class, in the seventh grade. I would write these dinky science fiction stories and show them to her and she would be all proud of me. I wonder what happened to those stories. Man, they were good. I think I entitled them all "Mystical Encounters at the Far Points of Reality." They were first person narratives. I bet there in my parents house in New Mexico somewhere.

Ok, so here's for all you people who wouldn't normally read my journal: fart, sex, porn, 0% Balance Transfer, naked pictures, boobs, boob, married women, free porn, expensive porn, lonely porn, social porn, big porn, small porn, hardcore, softcore, adult chat rooms, Aria Giovanni, The Harold.

 

[Jeremiah77]

The Stacy and Who Bell Is Sounding!

DING-A-LING! DING-A-LING! DING-A-LING! I'm ringing the Stacy and Who bell, real loud. Tonight is your chance to check out Stacy and Who? A big improv show here in New York. Stacy and Who is a long form improv that isn't The Harold. What? You've never seen one of those? Then put on your shoes, tie up your pants and hustle your sweet little patootie down to see Stacy and Who? You owe it to improv. Want details? Yes you do, click here http://www.stacyandwho.com

Stacy and who? you ask. Exactly.

Also, please remember to submit your pictures of your boss to me. They are due Monday, folks and many of you have not turned them in. Check out http://www.drawyourboss.com for the details and make a 26 year old man happy.

I found a Diet Snapple in the vending machine today. I usually steer clear from diet beverages becuase of the harmful effects of artificial sweeteners but I drank it becuase it was free. Very tasty.

 

[Jeremiah77]

December Thoughts

Thanksgiving was fun, unfortunately there was little to do in terms of improv. I haven't seen an improv show in at least a couple weeks. What's good?

Smilie, stop waving your finger at me.

I have class number 7, I believe, of Level 3 tonight. I already miss my sketch class. I have gone two weeks without and have already noticed a drop in productivity. If nothing else that class got me to write. I can't write unless I know I'm going to share it with a group of people. I need an audience.

One more and its all over. I've signed up for level 4.

I went to Champion studios last week and there was some naked man running down 39th street. He was naked and being followed by a cop car. I also got into the elevator with Sean Taylor. This guy probably has no idea who I am, but three years ago I waited in a line for ASSSCAT and he and his friend were in the stand-by line with me. He wouldn't shut up about Bill Bradley. I wanted to tell him that I ended up voting for Bill Bradley.

Does anyone ever wonder if our country is currently serving the freedom of the marketplace over the freedom of the individual?

So, here are some keywords to get me in the search engines: Cheap Airfare, Cheap tickets, free money, download paris hilton video (Fast), porno, sex, big ta-tas, naked, hardcore, Jennifer Biels

 

[Jeremiah77]

Snl Review

I saw SNL this past Saturday and I really liked it. The host was Justin Timberlake and the kid did all right. My favorite sketch was with Mr Timberlake and Chris Parnell. They played Restaurant Flyer mascotts trying to outdo each other.

I think I like the current cast of SNL. A lot of folks are quick to dismiss the show--no matter who the cast is. Maybe due to jealousy, maybe due to how the show selects its material, maybe due to resentment... Whatever the reason, I'm not going to be one of the poo-pooers. I think it's a funny show.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Level 3, Class 7

I had a good class last night. Everyone wore cute outfits. Even the dumb kid.

I'm just kidding there is no dumb kid in the class.

The class's scenes are really shapin' up. Some people were skipping out on class. I hope next week I'm not the only one who shows up, like what happened with sketch writing. What the crap?

There was a lot of chatter in class last night. But I didn't mind. I spend all day behind a desk, working my damn fingers to the bone, checking me email and rechecking my email, firing of IM's left and right, debating with my mom on the phone the value of a flu shot.

I am an excellent improvisor. I say this because I am very good. I can take another improvisor who might not ordinarily do a good scene and give them a good scene while it appears I am doing nothing. I am the bomb. I sprinkle little Jeremiah goodness on my scenes. I am an excellent improvisor. I listen and respond and heighten. I wait for offers and suggest surroundings. Are there improvisor's better than me? No. I am excellent. I am like a healing balm to a bad scene. I showcase the improvisor I am in the scene with. I can make transaction scenes look good as well as arguments. I'm not afraid to raise my voice in pattern games. I let the backline know when I need to be edited by my technique alone. I wait patiently on the backline and laugh at only what I think is funny. During class breaks I go to the bathroom--even if I don't have to--so I don't put people in the awkward position of having to talk to me if they don't want. If someone in my class should want to talk to me, they are more than welcome to follow me down the hallway to the bathroom. I am very talented. I wouldn't say I'm better than other people but I am very good at what I do.

Why am I praising myself? I don't think I see people actually praising themselves anymore. And besides, nobody reads this anyway, so if I'm writing just for myself, I migth as well enjoy it.

 

[Jeremiah77]

Level 3 Is Over

We had our last class of level 3. I have decided to go onto short form and theatre games. I can't sustain the demands that longform lays upon me. It is both a burden and a pain. I yearn for two second theatre games.

Just kidding folks. I have signed up for Level 4, at the PIT. I've decided to once again study with Ed Herbstman. I thought he did a good job with Level 3 and I think he can pilot the improv jet to level 4 and beyond.

You know what I'm saying folks?

So, here's a list of lines to use to begin a scene in the middle of the scene, feel free to borrow or add your own.

Thanks for the fice dollars.
Please pass the ketchup.
Bartender, another round please.
I sure do like painting this wall.
Father, I have decided to become a marine.
You can't bullshit me, kid. But for some crazy reason I believe your story.
Captain, we have 10 minutes until impact, give us an order.
500 points!
You sunk my battleship.

 

[Jeremiah77]

I am hungry

I made this demo tape of my friend, Stacy's improv show. If you'd like me to do a similar tape for your group, I'm cheap and flexible.

http://homepage.mac.com/wallacethebutler/stacyandwho.html

I'm hungry and at a loss of what to eat. Actually, I don't think I'm hungry. I think I'm just bored. Isn't that awful?

I'm in a sketch show right now at Above Kleptomania which has currently been exiled to the Pantheon Theatre. The show seems to be going all right. On Saturday night I was doing a sketch and out of the corner of my eye I noticed this dude sitting right in the front, scribbling all these notes. And in the back of my head--the front of my head was devoted to the performance--I'm thinking "Cool! A Reviewer, and he's writing things about me!" But I was wrong, it was the director scribbling notes.

Are the rest of you desk jockeys like me? 3:30 rolls around and you start wondering what the hell you did since 9am?