Osgood-Schlatter Really, Really Likes You

[Rob Lathan]

It's the truth. And it doesn't hurt. We'll take you in with open arms. So, come join us. Sleep with us. I mean, laugh with us. Here are some of the beautiful young people who really like you. You know what, they l-l-l-l-l-ove you. There I said it. Here they are:

Jane Borden (Spike TV)

Jackie Clarke (Spike TV, Mandy Moore Presents 'A Very Special St. Patrick's Day')

Dannah Feinglass & Paul Scheer (Spike TV, Mandy Moore Presents 'A Very Special St. Patrick's Day')

Ed Helms (Southern Fried Cagematch)

TV's Mitch Magee (TV)

Dan Powell (former road manager for the The Outfield)

Rob Lateskies (Osgood-Schlatter)

. . .and on voice-overs, sound cues and lights . .

Chris Kula (Belmont Stakes)

 

[Whines]

The Outfield would never have accomplished jack-shit without Dan Powell. He was a hard-ass, but he loved those boys. Loved them all the way to number one on the pop charts in America and Britain. God Bless the Outfield. God Bless Dan Powell. And God Bless Seabiscuit, that beautful goddamn enigma of a horse. I love you, Seabiscuit.

 

[Whines]

I just had coffee and I'm feeling such a powerful rush that I feel like cursing.

Gee whillikers, I like The Osgood-Schlatter Show.

 

[Rob Lathan]

Easy there Will. But I appreciate your enthusiasm. As well as your love for Seabiscuit. Ahhhh! Just saying the name aloud makes me feel all warm inside. Try it. Seabiscuit. See? He got us out of the Great Depression you know. Singlehandedly. Osgood-Schlatter loves Seabiscuit.

Osgood-Schlatter also loves plants. We will show our love for plants at some point or another during tonight's show. I don't want to give anything else away, except this: (whispering) Mitch Magee . . . (louder) Mitch Magee . . . (even louder) Mitch Magee . . . (really loud) Mitch Mageeeeeee.

I too have had my morning coffee.

 

[Jabor]

I don't know where I would be right now if it hadn't been for Spike TV.
They're such a nurturing network.
At last week's creative meeting they said, "we want you to know that we think you're special. And we just want you to shine your light and be the best Jane Borden you can possibly be."
After that they pulled out a guitar and played 'Leaving on a Jet Plane'.

OSGOOD IS TONIGHT!
Next one isn't until July 18th - get your ass out tonight!

 

[Rob Lathan]

But what about Osgood-Schlatters

Yeah last show for a while tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!