Notes from the Brooklyn Polygnostic Institute

M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#161
#161
Comment from the Professor.

Hmmm. It seems that my amanuensis Mikelibrarian, finds the name of the fossil amphibian to be very amusing. As well he should as the creature habitat was a black swamp, not a black lagoon. However, he did err in calling it salamanderlike, as Eucritta melanolimnetes was Loxommatid while salamanders belong to the Lissamphibia subclass of Amphibians.

Mikelibrarian. Hmmph. Wouldn't even let him shelve the books in a library.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#162
#162
You’re a dude, do you drink Mike’s Hard Lemonade? Maddy, Cobble Hill, Bklyn.

Dear Maddy,

When you reach my level, you don’t divide the world by gender. You divide it by people who have achieved Polygnosis, and those who haven’t. I’m not sure what gender has to do with drinking my amanuensis’s solidified lemonade has to do with one’s gender, and this is one of the few mysteries in the Omniverse that I have no desire to unravel. I do know that this is not the beverage of a Polygnostic.

I prefer to imbibe wine vinted in years that are prime numbers from St. Ospero’s Vineyard, a Portuguese monastery for the blind. The vineyard lies atop the greatest mammoth burial ground in Western Europe, and the bees that fertilize the grape flowers are 2.23 times more intelligent than average honey bees.
 
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M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#163
#163
Fun fact

At least eleven people were killed in the two day 2007 Basant Kite Festival in the Punjab Province of Pakistan. Two of the victims were children who had their throats cut by glass or metal coated strings designed to cut rival kite strings. Five were killed by celebratory gunshots as bullets fired straight up hit the ground at almost the same speed as when they were fired. Two were electrocuted untangling kite strings from power lines, and another two fell off roofs.

The celebration in the Punjab province was in violation of a nationwide ban imposed in 2005 after at least nine people had their throats cut by the strings.

Muslim religious parties oppose the festival because it has its origins in an ancient Hindu rite.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#164
#164
Fun Fact

The fruit fly gene called Spotted Dick causes the chromosomes in brain cells to clump together and resemble the fruit in spotted dick.

Source The Science Times Book of Insects.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#165
#165
Fun Fact

The most requested document from the National Archives is the photo of Elvis Presley shaking hands with President Nixon. During their meeting Nixon made Presley an honorary deputy of the U.S. Bureau of Narcotics.

Source The Week : Volume 7, Issue 293, January 19, 2007
 
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M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#166
#166
Comment from the Professor

One might think that I would be appalled by a picture of some crooner as being the most requested document from the National Archives rather than P. Zaratzian's excellent survey of Earthworms in Acadia National Park 1969-1971, or The Song of the Elder Chrazzztk. However I find this to be oddly comforting as it shows the constancy of human nature.

The most requested material from the Memphis Library (2354-866 BCE) was an inscribed cartouche depicting Pharoah Amenthoposes IV greeting famed singer Intefa of Hathor. Elvis Presley's connection with the North American namesake of the ancient Egyptian city of Memphis is not the only uncanny coincidence, as Pharoah Amenthoposes IV ended his rule in disgrace when it was revealed that he tended to slur the fourth syllable of the Evening Invocation to the sun god Re, which would cause a weakenning of the mana flow to the sun god as he enterred the netherworld when he needed it the most thus tilting the outcome of his nightly struggle with the serpent lord Apep in favor of the forces of eternal darkness. Amenthoposes IV claimed innocence as he had a congenital speech impediment, but cosmological battles are no respector of human weakness, and he was burned an hour before dusk on a pyre of Lebanese cedar and frankincensce so that the smoke of his passing would serve as a fitting meal for the sun god.

On the other hand, Intefa won such renown for his skills singin the 139 hymns to the sacred crocodiles of el Faiyum that he was adopted into the Egyptian pantheon by the deity Sobek.
 
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M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#168
#168
A note from Mike

I just finished a book on sand dunes entitled The Story of Dunes : Sand on the Move. That's right, I read books on sand dunes. That's the way I roll. The title really bothering me because I think it should have been The Story of Dunes : Sand on the Run.

Not really sure if I used the that's the way I roll phrase correctly.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#169
#169
Aracanum

12% of leprechauns belong to Alcoholics Anonymous. Most leprechauns do not regard their abstemtious brethren as being leprechauns at all, and instead refer to them as being fairies.

Happy St. Patrick's Day o seekers of knowledge.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#170
#170
Fun Fact

Traditionally, one could protect oneself from the Greek goblins known as Kallikantzaroi by placing a collander on one's doorstep. The creatures would be compelled to count all the holes, but would be stymied as they could not count above 2, since 3 is a holy number, and by pronouncing it, they would kill themselves.

May be verified in Wikipedia.
 
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M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#171
#171
Comment from the Professor

Now that Greece has universal health care the Kallikantzaroi now have access to Zoloft and other anti OCD drugs and are not deterred by collanders. In fact the collanders on the doorstep now merely anger the goblins and have been linked to 35 assaults, 4 of them fatal in Greece and Cyprus. Fortunately, access to medication has also ended their obsession with destroying the cosmos through sawing through the roots of the world tree, as well as most of the anti-social acts they have been documented as performing through the millenia. Most have become productive members of society, although in keeping with their past activities the most common occupations are lumberjacks, miners and night watchmen. 97% are allergic to garlic with 14% suffering from anaphylactic shock when they encounter the vegetable. There is still no known cure for this condition as Kallikantzaro medical studies is still in its infancy.
 
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M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#172
#172
Fun Fact

There are no reports of leprechauns wearing green before the twentieth century. Previously leprechauns were reported as wearing red.

May be verified in Wikipedia.

Happy St. Patrick's Day o seekers of knowledge.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#173
#173
Comment from the Professor

Leprechauns have always worn green. The green clothes were worn for everyday occaisions and served as great camoflage, making the leprechauns almost completely invisible when in forests. The red clothes were leprechaunic festive garb and were thus designed for all sentient beings to see. Unfortunately the loss of forest cover, or even of substantial underbrush in much of Ireland has increased the number of sightings of leprechauns wearing green. Coupled with this, leprechauns are still observing the 99 year mourning period for the death of their spiritual leader Shaimach Faal Shaith (808-1915), and thus have not worn red in quite some time.

Happy St. Patrick's day O seekers of knowledge.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#174
#174
Aracanum

Despite ad campaigns to the contrary, Flahavans Flakemeal Oatmeal is the favorite breakfast cereal among leprechauns. Post Raisin Bran is their faorite among American brands.

Happy St. Patrick's Day O seekers of knowledge.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#179
#179
Fun Fact

Eratosthenes, head librarian of the Great Library of Alexandria and the first person to create the model of a spherical tilted Earth orbitting the sun, and having coming up with astonishlingly accurate numbers for the dimensions of the Earth and the Earth sun system, as well as many other discoveries and writings in fields as diverse as Mathematics and Comedic studies, upon discovering that his vision was failing, decided to starve himself because the prospect of living without being able to read held no appeal to him.

Can be verified in : The Rise and Fall of Alexandria, Birthplace of the Modern Mind, by Justin Pollard and Howard Reid.
 
M

mikelibrarian

Lost in the stacks.
#180
#180
Comment from The Professor

The true tragedy here is that while I was granted access to the Brooklyn Polygnostic Institute's time machine, our HMO would not authorize Lasik Surgery or even a pair of glasses for our ancient colleauge.
 
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