Not Something To Show Mother
- Thread starter Anonymous_girl
- Start date
A Little Introduction
I came from an extremely sheltered family. My parents tried their best to keep the world of sex, booze, and rock n' roll away from me, but their endeavors were futile. Now I'm 19, I love sex, I drink booze, and while I don't like all rock, at least I hate pop.
Starting a story from the beginning was never one of my main points, so instead of beating my head on a wall doing that, I'll start from the present. What this will probably turn out to be is a log of my past and present relationships.
Past relationships:
I've had a few "normal" relationships that I don't really wish to go into detail about. They were pretty run-of-the-mill highschool romances where I thought I was in love with some boy I met in class, only to have our fling end a few months afterward. Unfortunately, it was always I who ended the relationship. In the end, I always felt smothered, annoyed by the boy, or as horrible as it seems, bored. I wouldn't call it a fear of commitment. I would call it fear of being committed to the wrong person.
Then came my internet romance. I met a boy while we were both playing multiplayer computer game online. Neither of us had any idea about the chain of events that would happen years after we met. [Side note: Yes, I am a girl and yes I play games. There aren't too many geek-chicks out there, but I'm proud to say I am one.] We started talking more and more out of the game. Eventually, we got pretty close and I would even say a bit obsessive. Let's call this guy Guy1. I thought we were perfect for each other. We would finish each other's words, we could read each others minds, and we had a lot of the same eclectic interests. Both of us had a mistrust of religion, hated the American education system, thought that mobs of people were stupid, the typical teenage "I hate the world" attitude.
However, I screwed up a potentially good relationship I had with him by my lapse of temporary insanity. I met another boy during my senior year of highschool who made me feel good, and because this boy (let's call him Guy2) was near by and Guy1 was not, I dumped Guy1 for Guy2. However, faithful Guy1 stuck by me, even if he could only be a friend. After a series of fuck-ups (which I'll probably delve into another time), I realized I still loved Guy1 more than anything in the world, and Guy2 became the ex.
During my freshman year of college, Guy1 came to visit me. It was the first time we had met in person. He was everything I expected, and a bit more. The bit more was the problem. The downside about talking to people online is that you don't see things you would usually pick up through body language and you don't get a full understanding of their attitude. While Guy1 was great, there were parts of his personality that I couldn't deal with.
After a few more fuck ups (enter Guy3), now Guy1 and I are still good friends, but things are completely and utterly futile between us.
Present relationship:
No real relationships now, save the very good friendship I have with Guy1, and the possibly blooming one with someone I slept with over the weekend (Man1). I went drove half a day with a friend to meet some other friends that we knew in another state. These friends were people we had met online while playing a game. Man1 had invited us because he was throwing a LAN party and wanted everyone in the gaming community to meet in person.
Man1 and I were pretty friendly online. There were a few nights we stayed up late, keeping each other company, talking about various things from failed relationships to porn. That was one of our favorite subjects: porn. It was nice to have someone to talk to who was open about things like this. Too many people shy away from anything to do with sex.
When I first saw Man1 (we were picking him up from his apartment to go to a friend's house. This friend was nice enough to put us up for the night), the only thing I noticed was that he had extremely kissable lips. They were thick and pouty and just screamed for attention. The second thing I noticed was that Man1 had the most amazing eyes. Nice eyes turn me on like nothing else does.
We got to the friend's house and had a couple of beers (and some hard lemonade that Man1 was nice enough to pick up for me, since I'm still not of legal drinking age) and watched movies. I had jokingly told him a few days before that I was going to bring along a movie that no one had seen, but I called it my pre-make-out-video. He made a comment about how he would feel obliged to make out with me afterward.
About halfway into our third movie, I felt a bit sleepy on the couch. I admit, it was a ploy to get me closer to Man1, but I don't think he minded. I put my head on a pillow in Man1's lap (we were all sitting on the couch) and he put an arm around me. It felt nice to just be held like that.
What followed was a series of events (ah the delicate steps in the game called Relationships) that ended with Man1 and I in the guest bed.
Now I know I don't think I can ever do the casual sex thing. I get too emotionally attached. Yes, now I'm emotionally attached to Man1, but fortunately (or unfortunately for him?) Man1 admitted to me after some arm-twisting that he realized he was crushing on me.
So that's where I am right now and while there's a jumble of emotions swirling around my head and I feel like a giddy highschool girl with her first crush, I feel good.
I came from an extremely sheltered family. My parents tried their best to keep the world of sex, booze, and rock n' roll away from me, but their endeavors were futile. Now I'm 19, I love sex, I drink booze, and while I don't like all rock, at least I hate pop.
Starting a story from the beginning was never one of my main points, so instead of beating my head on a wall doing that, I'll start from the present. What this will probably turn out to be is a log of my past and present relationships.
Past relationships:
I've had a few "normal" relationships that I don't really wish to go into detail about. They were pretty run-of-the-mill highschool romances where I thought I was in love with some boy I met in class, only to have our fling end a few months afterward. Unfortunately, it was always I who ended the relationship. In the end, I always felt smothered, annoyed by the boy, or as horrible as it seems, bored. I wouldn't call it a fear of commitment. I would call it fear of being committed to the wrong person.
Then came my internet romance. I met a boy while we were both playing multiplayer computer game online. Neither of us had any idea about the chain of events that would happen years after we met. [Side note: Yes, I am a girl and yes I play games. There aren't too many geek-chicks out there, but I'm proud to say I am one.] We started talking more and more out of the game. Eventually, we got pretty close and I would even say a bit obsessive. Let's call this guy Guy1. I thought we were perfect for each other. We would finish each other's words, we could read each others minds, and we had a lot of the same eclectic interests. Both of us had a mistrust of religion, hated the American education system, thought that mobs of people were stupid, the typical teenage "I hate the world" attitude.
However, I screwed up a potentially good relationship I had with him by my lapse of temporary insanity. I met another boy during my senior year of highschool who made me feel good, and because this boy (let's call him Guy2) was near by and Guy1 was not, I dumped Guy1 for Guy2. However, faithful Guy1 stuck by me, even if he could only be a friend. After a series of fuck-ups (which I'll probably delve into another time), I realized I still loved Guy1 more than anything in the world, and Guy2 became the ex.
During my freshman year of college, Guy1 came to visit me. It was the first time we had met in person. He was everything I expected, and a bit more. The bit more was the problem. The downside about talking to people online is that you don't see things you would usually pick up through body language and you don't get a full understanding of their attitude. While Guy1 was great, there were parts of his personality that I couldn't deal with.
After a few more fuck ups (enter Guy3), now Guy1 and I are still good friends, but things are completely and utterly futile between us.
Present relationship:
No real relationships now, save the very good friendship I have with Guy1, and the possibly blooming one with someone I slept with over the weekend (Man1). I went drove half a day with a friend to meet some other friends that we knew in another state. These friends were people we had met online while playing a game. Man1 had invited us because he was throwing a LAN party and wanted everyone in the gaming community to meet in person.
Man1 and I were pretty friendly online. There were a few nights we stayed up late, keeping each other company, talking about various things from failed relationships to porn. That was one of our favorite subjects: porn. It was nice to have someone to talk to who was open about things like this. Too many people shy away from anything to do with sex.
When I first saw Man1 (we were picking him up from his apartment to go to a friend's house. This friend was nice enough to put us up for the night), the only thing I noticed was that he had extremely kissable lips. They were thick and pouty and just screamed for attention. The second thing I noticed was that Man1 had the most amazing eyes. Nice eyes turn me on like nothing else does.
We got to the friend's house and had a couple of beers (and some hard lemonade that Man1 was nice enough to pick up for me, since I'm still not of legal drinking age) and watched movies. I had jokingly told him a few days before that I was going to bring along a movie that no one had seen, but I called it my pre-make-out-video. He made a comment about how he would feel obliged to make out with me afterward.
About halfway into our third movie, I felt a bit sleepy on the couch. I admit, it was a ploy to get me closer to Man1, but I don't think he minded. I put my head on a pillow in Man1's lap (we were all sitting on the couch) and he put an arm around me. It felt nice to just be held like that.
What followed was a series of events (ah the delicate steps in the game called Relationships) that ended with Man1 and I in the guest bed.
Now I know I don't think I can ever do the casual sex thing. I get too emotionally attached. Yes, now I'm emotionally attached to Man1, but fortunately (or unfortunately for him?) Man1 admitted to me after some arm-twisting that he realized he was crushing on me.
So that's where I am right now and while there's a jumble of emotions swirling around my head and I feel like a giddy highschool girl with her first crush, I feel good.