Dearest Paul,
Before you get bombarded with plugs for inferior shows, let us just tell you that the place to be tonight is the Under St. Mark's Theater at 10:30. Your old friends Rogue Elephant are putting on a show and each and every person who attends is guaranteed to find his or her true love tonight in our audience. The Pearl Brunswick will set the mood and The Robin Williams will take you and your love to the "next level." We will merely stand in the corner, wearing a smoking jacket and holding a pipe.
Tonight, baby. 94 St. Marks. Place (b/w 1st Ave. and Ave. A). Only five dollars.
Love,
Rogue Elephant