My brother is a former hooker

deez

New Member
#61
For Joe

Every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the world
And ends up making payments on a sofa or a girl
Love 'n' hate tattooed across the knuckles of his hands
The hands that slap his kids around 'cause they don't understand

How death or glory becomes just another story
How death or glory becomes just another story
'N' every gimmick hungry yob digging gold from rock 'n' roll
Grabs the mike to tell us he'll die before he's sold
But i believe in this-and it's been tested by research
That he who fucks nun will later join the church

From every dingy basement on every dingy street
I hear every dragging handclap over every dragging beat
That's just the beat of time-the beat that must go on
If you been trying for years-then we already heard your song
 

deez

New Member
#62
Just got back from parents' gaff. The former hooker's away for a couple o' weeks (so he'll miss Witnness again :() so I got to hook up our PCs via his hub.

I gave this ol' machine a colonic irrigation, dumping some files that are eating up space but which I don't wanna lose forever over on his spare partition. It feels so great to have a five-gig buffer zone before space starts getting tight. Damn, if I knew I'd be getting a working DVD-decrypter off Yonphi I'd have got a 60-gig beast.

I have a painfully slow external CD-burner. It's good to have for dealing with mp3s but shite for Hugh Jass video files. So using the bro's zippy burner was a relief.

I've arrived at the momentous judgement that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are more cool than otherwise. I kazaaed some Echo & the Bunnymen cos they're playing Witnness and I'm gobsmacked by how good they are. "The cutter", "Dancing horses" "Killing Time" (from Donnie Darko!). A bit like the Cure, but more ballsy. I hope they're not on against anybody good cos I'd hate to choose like last year. I had to miss the Frames because Wilt were on the other stage
 

deez

New Member
#63
Lee Ross is a genius

"Don't assume that people who commit atrocities are atrocious people, or people who do heroic things are heroic," declares Professor Lee Ross of Stanford. "Don't get overly carried away; don't think, because you observed someone under one set of discrete situational factors, that you know what they're like, and therefore can predict what they would do in a very different set of circumstances."

Soooooooooo true.
 

deez

New Member
#64
Ripoff Net caff

Here in Cluain Meala. Pissy rain, good mood nonetheless. Noticed Burns' thing about US stuff we need over here.

I'd add to the list:
effective sleeping pills without prescription,
that ultra-thin bacon that goes crispy when you fry it. For a nation that eats so much pigmeat it's a crime Ireland doesn't have that
Radio stations that play other than top 40, classical and easy listening

In a cheaper caff now. I have money, but no job and I'm going to get value for it until I strike gold.

Talking of which, after months of nada in the last week two promising job leads have opened up. The civil service, which I did the exam for at the start of the year (thinking I was far ahead of the game and likely to get an interview by February at the latest) got back to me and said that I'd be called for interview at some point over the next few months.

And the contract is now seeming to fall into place a bit. I'd better get in touch with the taxman and see what will happen to my future paychecks as I've still got some taxfree allowance unused.

I'm in a small Irish town right now, for an arts festival. Going to such a place as recently as the late 80's was a depressing experience. Then a groundbreaking discovery was made. To the shock and delight of Irish town planners, it was revealed that colurs of house paint other than grey existed!

Not bad going; there have been towns here for 1500 years and it only took them that long to realise that in Ireland, there's never any lack of grey to be seen (just look up) but plenty of lively yellows, reds, blues etcetera. Suddenly it's possible to imagine enjoyable things happening in this place, instead of the usual thing of old maids and bachelors trudging disconsolately about, mourning the fact that they're not yet in the Kingdom of heaven and the have to face another day in the vale of tears.
 
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deez

New Member
#65
Pre-rockfest jinx

Just got back fr Clonmel. My roommate who's meant to be joining me at this gig, has gone AWOL with his cellphone off. Arse! No biggie I suppose, but I can't even find his parents' number.

Just checked my tent & it's all there. Last time I took it out I spent forever putting it together but I hopefully have it sussed now.

For the first time EVER my broadband failed to connect just now. I restarted and it works.
 

deez

New Member
#66
The Manic Street Preachers were far too good, it wasn't fair on all the other bands playing Witnness. They tried to make it easy on the poor saps, by playing obscure numbers from B-sides and not leaving their best stuff til last, without success. All the other acts, many of them quite decent, were obliterated.

Like the skin on my neck. Fuck me, but that's painful. We are not inured to such hot, continuous sunshine on this island. I feel like I've been branded. deez = tomatoboy

It was good seeing Neil & Mrs. Neil again. I crashed in their house the night before and my sis stayed with 'em after the first night finished. It's the first time tim has hung out with that pair, I think.

Did plenty o' boozin' 'n' eatin'. Will take a while to burn that off. At parents' house at the moment. They have better painkiller selection. Been reading William S Burroughs' last notes and Thomas Harris' Red Dragon
 

deez

New Member
#67
Rake at the Gates of Hell

I'll be with them asleep and dreaming
I'll be there when they wake with screaming
At the hour of death then I will nurse them
To have a moment more to curse them
Watch the maggots crawl out of them
Hear the angels call above them
Watch them as the cold air sucks them
Down to hell, goodnight, God love them
If any should escape above me
Beg and cheat until they trust me
Drag them down to be damned with me
Laugh at them as they forgive me

Mother's eyes are sparkling diamonds,
Still the moon shows no light
This rose is withered, may God deliver
The rake at the gates of hell tonight
Yigh!

I wish that they could walk forever,
On the earth, alone, unfettered
Til they pray for consolation,
Til they beg for sweet damnation
Then I'll come and bring them water,
Bring them hope, bring them laughter
Raise their hopes so sad and sunken
Slash them up as they lie there drunken
Push them down into the foul mud
‘Til they choke up on their own blood
Drag them out before their last breath
To take away the mercy of death

Mother's eyes are sparkling diamonds
Still the moon shows no light
This rose is withered, may God deliver
The rake at the gates of hell tonight
Yigh!

Mother's eyes are sparkling diamonds
Still the moon shows no light
This rose is withered, may God deliver
The rake at the Gates of Hell tonight

Mother's eyes are sparkling diamonds
Still the moon shows no light
This rose is withered, may God deliver
The rake at the gates of hell tonight​


By Shane MacGowan (1987)
 

deez

New Member
#68
I'm bored

Ain't superstitious spam from friends just the worst thing ever? You can't slap 'em and tell them "cop on, you gullible gobshite!" no matter how much you want to. Here's the latest example of somebody I know taking a vacation from reality (though it's still nice to hear from her and at least she's not trying to sell me Bibles):


READ ALONE.....ESPECIALLY THE LAST PART





CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when she was out to lunch David proposed! She accepted, but then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got to her office, she noticed on her computer she had e-mail. She checked it, the usual stuff from her friends, but then she saw one that she had never gotten before. It was this letter. She simply deleted it without even reading all of it. BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening, she received a phone call from the police. It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive.



CASE 2: Take Katie Robbenson. She received this letter and being the believer that she was, she sent it to a few of her friends but didn't have enough e-mail addresses to send out the full 10 that you must. Three days later, Katie went to a masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car to go home, she was killed on the spot by a hit-and-run drunk driver.



CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this letter out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview with a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her passionate crush on him that she had had on him for 2 years. Three days later, he proposed to her and they got married. Cynthia and Richard are still married with three children, happy as ever!



This is the letter:



Around the corner I have
a friend,
In this great city
that has no end,
Yet the days go by
and weeks rush on,
And before I know
it, a year is gone.
And I never see my
old friends face,
For life is a swift
and terrible race,
He knows I like him
just as well,
As in the days when
I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if,
we were younger then,
And now we are busy,
tired men.
Tired of playing a
foolish game,
Tired of trying to
make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I
will call on Jim"
"Just to show that
I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes
and tomorrow goes,
And distance between
us grows and grows.
Around the corner!
yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram
sir" "Jim died today."
And that's what we
get and deserve in the
end.
Around the corner, a
vanished friend.​


Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love
someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and
tell someone what they mean to you. Because when
you decide that it
is the right time it might be too late.



Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most
importantly, stay
close to your friends and family, for they have
helped make you
the person that you are today.


You must send this on in 3 hours after reading
the letter
to 10 different people.
If you do this, you will receive unbelievably good
luck in love.
The person that you are most attracted to will soon return your feelings.
If you do not, bad luck will rear it's ugly head at you.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE!
You have read the warnings, seen the cases, and the consequences.
You MUST send this on or face dreadfully bad luck.



*NOTE* The more people that you send this to, the
better luck you will have.
 

deez

New Member
#69
well, THAT was stressful

4pm: I was leisurely filling up about 200 words of waffle on Teamwork, Commitment to goals and whatever else was the new management trendy-speak in late 1980's Dayton, Ohio. I had plenty written and the deadline was 5:30pm for email submission.
Glancing back at it, I spot that I'm supposed to have all the horseshit in a specific a-b-c structure.

SHEEEEE
(ahem)
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTE!!!!!!!

Finally get the rewrites done by 5:01 pm. Then I spend the next 29 minutes on call, no fucker bothering to tell me that civil servants don't give a fuck about 5:30 deadlines because their ass is stuck in the traffic to their house in Bantry from a picosecond after 5.

So, if they choose to be picky I ight be rejected for intervew.

Well fuck-diddly-doody

Oddly enough, this is a fateful moment. If things go well, I could be spendig the next 40 years in the public service.

Ordinarily I'd say the CS'd be my bankroll to a beter, more creative life by giving me the freedom I crave to move up in the world, but I'm all lied out at the mo. Right now, I'll be happy with a pen-pushing functionary position slowly slipping into an alcoholic middle age. Hmm, it's kinda liberating when you dump all that life-is-a-goldmine-of-myriad-possibilities rhetoric and embrace th'inevitable...
 

deez

New Member
#70
The plan was to keep this ticking over with witticisms and nuggets of wiseness until the finale at the end of the month. But now, when the time has arrived to actually write them and put the material up here the idea seems less appealing. I think I'll just follow my hoarding instinct and keep what I think is the good stuff away from here.

The new plan (which may easily vaporise with the light of morning) is to just leave this journal as is; keep my writing on my hard drive or the new site, wherever that will be, and let the month-end thing be the last thing I do here. Just trying that idea like a new suit; not bad at all.

Getting the new site going will involve some work, and having new stuff I wanna post will help motivate that. How's that for a "pro". Besides, that gives just a week. By no means a long hiatus
 

deez

New Member
#71
Back 4 bad

Back in the same desk where I filled this journal out from.

I've put a lot of things in my life on hold until I'm back in this job. Even though this thing wasn't one of them, it seems natural to do this.

I actually left it pretty much in anger, but the person involved has given cause for forgiveness in recent months, seeming to accept my views for what they are rather than some fascist caricature of them.

Plus, in the months since I left this office, hundreds of e-mails have piled up so I am waiting for that to work through.

This is an ironic-feeling situation. I waited seven months to be reinstated and ten months to be appointed to the civil service and the two appointments finally arrive on the same day.

I've elected to stay here a couple of weeks and then take the lower-paid secure, flexitime-giving job with the state. I know it's not nice to meet a surly state employee, but I hate the way the private sector dictates the emotions the employee must feel. If I had an engineering or computing degree, then my vital skills would prevent my bosses from encroaching on my psychic space. But if you're a general-skills schlub, you have to conform your patootie off when working for The Man. Strong public-sector unions mean that phoney grins stay out of the job descriptions, thank Marx.
 
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deez

New Member
#72
Pity 'bout Brown Eyed Girl's plight, nobody gives a fuck about internetting where I work. For now.

Talking of my imminent quitting of this office for a stabler, less paying, longer career, unfireable job, I gave my colleague the unhappy truth. She was understanding, though evidently not 100% joyful at losing her team. I feel better about it now.

God, I'm all job job job now. Too caffeinated, there should be an emoticon for that. Here it is []? is a coffee mug. Looks better in courier
 

deez

New Member
#73
I been musin' about, well everything really, but my "problems" in particular. If I did an audit of my mood for the last week, I'd say I spent most of my waking time on excess negativitude.

The theory that introspection is the food of unhappiness is pretty much a fact now. Right now I have managed to get myself into a reasonably positive head-space. I feel faintly embarassed at how I felt this morning: taking silly, unimportant things far too seriously. There's no need to run about giggling like a simpleton, but I really can allow myself some calm satisfaction with my life.

Reason to be cheerful*: I have just saved hundreds of dollars on my trip to Birmingham in a fortnight. Ryanair, Aer Lingus et al were all screwing me. One thing about airlines that I wish I could change is the ticketing. It's either one dollar for a 50-mile flight or 350 for the same one. Why can't it be like buses: on a 50-passenger bus, each traveller pays one fiftieth of the total cost of the journey plus 30% profit for the bus company. Suits me fine. Any airline that offers me that will have me signed up for life.

Since the invention of airplanes, more money has been lost by aviation companies than the total historical profits. Yet bus companies have been steadily making money over the same period. Just my observation.

The clichéed platitude of the moment is:

Don't compare self to others; if you absolutely must do so, at least include burn victims and cripples in your representative sample in addition to the people you spend your precious life energy envying

*For americans, this is a ref to the great Ian Dury. Get his greatest hits, you will become happy. Your dog will love you again
 

deez

New Member
#74
Well amn't I the Zen one?

How's this for patient? I lost a 500-word entry because the IRC had me down as not logged in. No screaming, fuming or cursing Mullaney's ancestry. I just went out, got lunch, bought a baklava, came back, chatted with fellow cheerful cynics at work, consumed coffee and baklava, said "yummy!" to oneself (that's "miam miam!" to all you francophones) walked back up to my office, sat down, opened notepad and began to compose this entry and that was that.

So I spent the chill sunny morning with the Personnel chap from my new Department and he filled me in on the two places I might be posted. He seems to be leaning towards the place nearest my house, Allah bless his little cotton socks. I'll know wednesday or thereabouts.

Saw My Life Without Me last night. Good stuff. Read a review before you decide it's your cup of tea, though.

Obviously got me thinking about my own film-doing ambitions, but I'm a little too drowsy to do that justice here. Next post, promise
 

deez

New Member
#75
Big bureaucratic fuck-up made by myself

Christ, this is annoying. We need to buy 2 PCs. I got four quotes: 2 stupidly overpriced ones and two reasonably priced ones.

The first was by a crowd of wasters whose machines have given us no end of bother. Even the office cat thinks it's a bad joke that we'd consider them.

The second is by rhymes-with-bell, and it's okay.

Thinking it was such a no-brainer, I just summarised the prices and gave colleague's and my recommendation for Dell verbally. There was no possible bad repercussion to buying the machine without a complete paper trail. On the off-chance the Dell machine fucks up, they can always prove, from the quotes, that the other lot were the only alternative, and we had had bad experiences with them. The Dell-buying decision is 100% defensible, despite my lack of notation.

No PC bought yet. Fuck me for thinking we could spare one bureaucratic step for once. I can't go into state employment with such a bad "Oh-sod-it-let's-just-get-the-job-done" attitude. You either play their shitty little game or stop cashing the paycheck.

I just KNOW I'll do something like this in my new job. Ugh.
 

deez

New Member
#76
First payday in half a year, two weeks pay and sod all taxes! Money's not everything but God it's nice to have.

Plus I will have an ultra-steady paycheck, though not a big one, from now on, so I can go ahead and get those big-ticket purchases I've been thinking about. Fourteen-inch monster, here I come!

Might as well go see what I can get mortgage wise. My friends had to save a massive amount for their deposit, but she's got really iffy health and he works for a corporation which could move its Irish operation to Ulaanbataar tomorrow and leave him on the streets.

Maybe my permanent job will count for something here. I'd like to be able to buy the house I live in and not have roommates, but just take American guests to help pay the bills.

Aye, and maybe I could date Uma Thurman while I'm at it. Methinks my new job will call for some bit of realism

Oh, and I saw a tip-top play last night. In Gaelic, but not the highly dialectal kind that makes you think that all those years learning were wasted.
 
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deez

New Member
#78
Here on my last day at work, sitting in my tower freezing my tits off. Why isn't the blasted heater warming up the place. Jayze, ZeroCool's writing's getting deadly. How DID the black chick in Kill Bill get the gun into that box?

I can't give details, but my workplace has just been told, in a highly ignominious, disingenuous, indirect and unattributable manner that the place is fucked. Arrah sod it, what's it matter to me now, off with me to the civil service. I get too maudlin at times like these. I should concentrate on the new discoveries I'm going to make over the next few years. About work. About life. About my soul.

About how heaters work real good if you plug them in.
 

deez

New Member
#79
I heartily suggest you read "New Page", the OT journal by reverse. I've been meditating on his idea of getting deliberately into a bar fight, just because it's one of those things you've got to do before you die. Even if you get creamed.

Now I could never fully buy into that idea, but I think I've got a notion where the romance of the idea comes from.

I was mugged in the last few days. And it did mean a trip to the ER for me. But the silver lining is there.

One blessing is that I have just started a high-pressure job, and the chance to take a bit of time off at full pay was great. Broke up the week for me nicely. My really close newlywed buddy also came over to basically do that "I'll be there for yooooo" thang.

But the thing I like about it most is that two guys took me by surprise and tried to take all my money by violence. I fought them and beat them up enough to convince them to fuck off.

Granted, these were no professionals. I picked up a blunt instrument from right under their noses and they did nothing to stop me until I was pummelling them with it. But for that weapon I'd likely have been fucked.

That said, they were armed, and I was stitched up for a few days. They got me in a lucky spot, only an inch or two away and I'd have bled to death.

I've been drinking a bit. I think this will be my first dry day since.
 

deez

New Member
#80
Unusually relaxing day at wr0k. Basically my co-worker's on holiday and that's a good thing. My jury's out on the guy. He's a highly skilled sysadmin (way more knowlegeable than me) who was making triple what he makes now, but he joined the civil service to enjoy the lighter workload. He joined at a lower grade than me, so he's technically my subordinate, not that I have ever, or would ever, come within a parsec of pulling rank on him. Still, I sometimes suspect that there's a chip on his shoulder.

He's been second-guessing reasonable judgement calls I have made, and has been plain wrong on occasion.

Still I like him in other ways, and I don't want to appear too angry. I really don't feel negative enough about him to warrant a rant. But it is nice to just do my job for once.

Learning to appreciate Zevon right now. That guy's a big loss.

I notice that I still get 20 views per update. Who dat? Drop me a line
 
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