Miss Mid-Life Crisis Of 2003

[goldfish boy]

My new electronic keyboard arrived around 8 pm last night; I was able to sign for her and insert her batteries before leaving for Dunford's farewell party.

Her given name is Yamaha DGX-200, but I promptly re-dubbed her Miss Mid-Life Crisis 2003.

Though I perform in a musical improv group, I have no particular musical proficiency. In the past, I haven't been successful in learning to play a musical instrument.

I'm not expecting or trying to become a good keyboard player ever; I just want to learn some chords so I can write and demo songs. I'm working on a show comprising a bunch of comedy songs I've made up over the years, and I'm always more dependent on a collaborator than I'd like to be.

Also, I want something creative that I can do alone at home, and that has a more objective learning curve than writing.

So why, when the acoustic guitar I bought last year (from one B. Kravitz) is gathering dust, did I sink money into a 76-key behemoth that I absolutely do NOT have room for?

Well, for one thing, that guitar intimidates me a bit. The strings need replaced, I have to learn how to tune it, and I've tried three times since childhood to teach myself how to play guitar, without success.

Also, my left and right hands aren't too good at doing different things at the same time (yes, I realize it's a brain thing, not a hand thing), and with a keyboard I can record the left and right hands separately, while a guitar absolutely requires independent activity from each hand.

With this journal, I hope to chart my progress, if any, in learning how to make beautiful noise with this thing. I think it may be interesting to read. If not, I'll let it drop into the journal graveyard.

So far, all I've done is practice transitioning between the C, F and G chords (the easy ones). I'm going to keep doing that until I can do it faster, and I'm not hitting two notes at the same time as often as I've been.

Oo-wee. It's going to be a slow process. I'm pretty klutzy. But I'm going to practice for at least 30 minutes every day. And at least I've memorized three chords.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Wanna learn how to treat my baby right. When I touch her, I want to hear melodious squeals of pleasure, not atonal bleats of distress.

Not really getting better so far. But it's only day three.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

I got my MIDI cable in the mail yesterday...still waiting on my AC adapter and folding keyboard stand. Also, I've added the D chord to my amazing repertoire.

I actually want to practice. That's unexpected.

And fortuitous, because I sure do need the practice.

I come home and I see her, and I embrace her instead of fearing her.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Well, my fingers seem to be getting slightly more dexterous...not hitting quite as many wrong notes. I still can only use one hand at a time, but my right hand is catching up to my left (I'm left-handed.)

I'm not sure what my block is about using both hands...they just don't seem to want to do different things. That's cute in a way; there's clearly a lot of love there, but every hand needs a life of its own.

I learned how to make an A chord yesterday, bringing the total to five chords. I'm going to take a break from learning new ones; though I've memorized how to play these five chords, I need to really memorize what they sound like, in each octave. If you ask me to play a G chord for you, I can do it, but if you played me a G chord, I couldn't identify it as a G.

A question for anyone reading this who may know something/anything? about music: What does it mean to play something "in the key of"? Does that refer to the octave you're playing it in?

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Oops! I got impatient last night and taught myself the E chord. I'm not finding that one very satisfying, for some reason. With each of the preceding five chords, it felt like a piece of the puzzle fell into place, or like "all right! Now I have this sound to use!" But the E chord doesn't do much for me...I'm sure I'll find a use for it.

More than 100 hits on this journal but still no answer to my question in the post immediately above...anyone? Is that too basic a question? I'm really starting from pretty much nothing.

One thing is worrying me a little. The first three chords I learned (C, F, G) I sort of learned in terms of the root note--in other words, that was the first note I found when looking for the chord. So it became second nature to me to know where those notes are in each octave, as opposed to having to sort of mentally recite the alphabet. But these chords involving black keys, I've been learning in terms of the location of the black key, so I'm not mentally associating them with their respective root notes. I wonder if that's going to lead to trouble down the line.

The vast array of minor chords, major-7th chords, augmented, diminished, etc. is intimidating me a little. But I have to remind myself that I've had her less than a week, and I'm learning at my own pace, and I'm probably up to the challenge.

As I told my friend Gail a couple nights ago, it's so much fun to be a BEGINNER at something. Yes!

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

B chord.

B for bitch.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Impasse number one. I know a lot of chords now, and I'm getting a little bit smoother at going from one to the other (not enough yet to take the headphones off and subject my housemates to my wrong-note-hitting), but I'm not sure where to go from here. I bought a DVD called "Absolute Beginners: Keyboard" and I'm hoping that will help me, but the booklet that comes with it has a lot of musical notation, which I'm hoping to avoid. I know there are plenty of guitarists who don't read music; maybe that's not true of keyboardists.

My keyboard stand was delivered this morning, though, so at least Miss MLC2K+3 will have proper support for her exquisite, delicate back...and I'll be able to sit properly while I caress her.

Even now I've been seeing her (slightly) less than a week...I think I have to accept that I'm progressing as rapidly as I can.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

I believe a woman belongs on a pedestal, and when I got home from the Triple Crown about 20 minutes ago, I set up her pedestal. It's pretty flimsy; not the sturdy stand that was advertised, so I may send it back if I find a better one. Meanwhile, though, I'm able to play her in a sitting position, and I seem to be able to play better this way--fewer bum notes.

Also, I have Miss MLC2K+3 set up perpendicular to my desk, at desk height, so I can pactice my left hand while I surf the web! Efficiency rawks!!!

Thanks, drAxeman, for answering my questions and pursuing what, no doubt, is a ridiculously elementary dialogue. I appreciate your time and consideration.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Impatience is the probby-obby-oblem. How much do I expect to accomplish in a week? My plan BEFORE Miss MLC2K+3 arrived was to learn one chord per week. I know nine. I'm still not playing them smoothly, at whatever tempo I desire, but I'm getting better gradually.

Tonight I'll start working with that DVD.

I don't play well by ear. At least not yet. I try to play a bit of a tune, and the notes I hit are close, but not quite there, and I get impatient and decide it's close enough for rock 'n' roll.

It's not close enough for rock 'n' roll.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Tonight is the first time that I'll have to force myself to practice. It's been a roller-coaster week emotionally, and while it's on the upswing, I'm exhausted by the plummets and hairpin turns, and I'm already ready to go to bed at 10:37. Also, it's humid like a JYC gym. However, I will start the DVD training program tonight and I'll practice, dammit.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

So, yeah, I did practice, and yeah, I did use the DVD, which started off ridiculously basic and then accelerated like a fucking Ferrari. I think I was supposed to spread out the lessons. I'll do that.

This DVD wants me to learn how to read music. I don't wanna. Is that a requirement for keyboards? I know there are plenty of geetar players who don't read music.

Yeah, I also learned that my chord fingering is all wrong, so I'll have to relearn that.

Onward (and bed-ward)....

 

[goldfish boy]

Thanks so much, Dave McKeel and MarkOn10th, for your great insights and advice! It's all much more complicated than I thought it would be, but I'm happy with the way things are going so far.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

All right, where the fuck are my sustain pedal and AC adapter? Michael MAD at Best Buy.com! Michael SMASH!!!

Tonight's practice involved about 40 minutes of random fucking around and only about 20 minutes of actual productive practice, but damn, it was fun. Just what I needed after a shitty, gloomy weekend. And talking keyboards with Dave McKeel for a few minutes was just what I needed, too.

Oh, yeah--onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, I'll be practicing on an unfamiliar keyboard, at my grandparents' house in Northeast Philadelphia. I hope Miss MLC2k+3 won't consider that infidelity.

There will be adjustments to make...the keys are smaller, and there aren't as many, and there's no stand, and I don't think there's a headphone jack so I'll have to play very quietly.

We'll see how it goes. Frankly, practicing keyboard is the last thing on my mind this weekend. But I'm going to try to practice. I hope I'll be able to get batteries for the thing.

Onward, I hope....

 

[goldfish boy]

I called my brother in Seattle on Saturday night, and he informed me that it's time for me to start learning how to play some songs. So I'll dig through my stuff this week and find the basic guitar book that I borrowed from him. But will it work, I wonder? Can I play songs on keyboard from a book made for guitar? Isn't hitting keys different from strumming? We'll find out.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Well, today I finally received my sustain pedal and AC adapter (and my New Pornographers tickets - booyah). Unfortunately, in my current frazzled and overemotional state, it's a big project to 1) clear space under my keyboard to put the sustain pedal; and 2) rearrange my power strip so I can make room for the oversized plug on the adapter. So that will wait until tomorrow, and I'll have some chords 'n' scales fun tonight.

I won't be able to practice this weekend.

Onward....

 

[goldfish boy]

Fuck that "onward" shit. Now it seems lame. I'm not doing it any more, unless I feel like it.

Well, the sustain pedal works just as it's supposed to. I can now let notes waft lazily into the ether. I'm going to stay battery-powered for now, though I'm relieved the adapter at least arrived.

With the unexpected and delightful news that the office will be closed all day tomorrow, instead of just closing early, I plan to get a lot of practice in, to try to compensate for missing practice over the coming weekend. I do also have packing to do and my summer mix CD to create, so I won't be able to put, like, hours and hours in, but at least just hours will be good.

I know enough chords now that I can really sort of, kind of express myself through playing them. Express myself only to myself, as I'm still hitting some wrong notes and I don't really know what I'm doing, but it's getting there, and the ride is fun. I'm sure it'll get more arduous.

 

[goldfish boy]

Lately, not much that's interesting enough to write about. I'm just working on getting better at what I already know. I did learn the A-flat/B# chord, but I find it hard to play. I still haven't found that guitar book. I've been pretty down lately, so I'm not too ambitious about moving forward, but I'm still practicing every day.

There's this one sketch that I want to put up soon that requires the male character to play some guitar...I'd really like to play the part myself, but there's no way I'll be able to learn the stuff soon, and changing the guitar to a keyboard wouldn't really work for the character. I guess I'll have to get someone else to do it. At least I can write the chord progressions.

 

[goldfish boy]

holy shit

Whoa.

This morning, I think I found the chords for a song I wrote.

I've been frustrated the past few nights because I now know all these chords that I've been practicing, but I'm not really sure what to do with them. I figured I'd need some lessons just to learn how to take the raw materials and turn them into something musical.

So I went to bed a little dejected last night after about 45 minutes of practice. This morning I woke up with near-total confidence that I could find the chords to one comedy song I wrote and never have performed...for our purposes, let's call it "I'll Be With You In A Minute."

I turned on Miss MLC2k+3 and started banging away until I found something that sounded like it would go with the first note. It was a C chord, then it went to A#/Bb then back to C, and I was pretty confident that was right, then I second-guessed myself and tried starting with an F, which also sounded right but then when I sang over it, it was obviously wrong. I went back to the original C and figured out the rest of the verse and the chorus from there.

Now, I'm not discounting the possibility that I may still have got it wrong. I'm so new and klutzy with this stuff that that's a distinct possibility. But for now, I ROCK.

Yep.

Now I need to find some time to sit and work on this stuff for a while.

 

[goldfish boy]

Clumsiness is my worst enemy right now.

My oldest (in friendship longevity, not age) friend was kind enough to e-mail me the chords to a very simple blues song I made up in 1990. It's really extremely simple, but I'm having trouble going from the E to the B and then back via the A without hitting wrong notes.

I practiced this thing for about an hour tonight, using left hand and right, and maybe it's 'cause of the four margaritas I had today at my soaking wet company "picnic," but it just hasn't come together.

I guess I'll sleep on it and see how it goes tomorrow. The good news is I think I figured out the chords of another of my songs. I'm not absolutely sure it's right.

Little things keep my spirits up and make me want to keep practicing. For example, I got real excited when, on the day of the New Pornographers concert, I stumbled on this tiny little riff from the NP song "To Wild Homes." It's really insignificant--just G-G-F-F-G-G-F-F-F-G played kind of staccato--but it was so much fun to find it and play it along with the record. I was giddy like a 10-year-old when I told Lisa (rainswept), Louie (Louie4711) and Tiffany (neat-o-burrito) about it in the cab to the show. About a week earlier, I accidentally found the beginning riff of The Kinks' "Lola." Some of these things that sound great are so simple.

Thanks, Glenn (cecildrum), for the encouragement and the link. I'm getting so many cool responses from this journal. No one wants to talk to me about Del Close notes . But music...yep, folks is into music all righty.