Few and far between ...
These entries are pretty random time wise. I guess sometimes you feel like writing and sometimes you don't. I've been having a lot of internal conversations with myself, and I suppose that's the substitute for having someone to talk to, or writing in this journal. In any case, hopefully I won't be so sporadic in the future, but you never know.
My mom and I are driving to Utah in two weeks to visit my brother and sister. My mommy just bought a shiny new-ish minivan. Thank goodness too, cuz her old one was thirteen years old and couldn't even make the trip to Portland, let alone Utah. We're gonna be in Utah for a week. Doing what? Who knows. There's not much to do there ya know. I don't know how they stand it. No drinking!? Hysterical. Bloody hysterical.
So I got an email from my dad on Thursday telling me that I'm going to be an aunt come March. I had mixed feelings about this at the time, especially since I was stoned ... ssshhh ... don't tell anyone. But I think that I'm okay with the concept now, as much as I can be anyway. I mean, my brother has only been married for 7 months. His wife is 25, and set to graduate in the winter. My brother is still a ways from graduating. I know that they are both broke college students, but his wife's family is pretty well off. So I think that they will be taken care of. I'd be much more against it if, say, it was my sister (who plans to get married when she's 21). My advice to her: For fuck's sake, don't be a dumbass ... use birth control.
Not too many adventures in RAing this past week. Our new "area staff" arrived this week. And so did the office worker, or as I like to call her, "the help." Now, I pride myself on my ability to get along with almost anyone. I've become very good at ignoring peoples' flaws so that I can work with them, but I just can't stand The Help. And I don't think that anyone else does either. I can't stand to be alone in the office with her (it's a very small office). And I feel bad, cuz she's a friend of my new friend/coworker AZ. AZ is a really cool guy, and that's probably why he's able to stand her. I however, am just not capable of liking her. Firstly, it must be noted that The Help was forced on us RA's, to "help out" and organize the office. We didn't want her there, and quite frankly, the office had been working just fine without her. During her first week, she managed to piss off all the RA's. She was just ... in the way, all day long. And the talking. Oh my god ... the talking never stopped. Ya know, I do not enjoy hearing myself talk, or laugh, or make sounds at all. I find my voice and laugh to be annoying. And if it's annoying to me, then it must be annoying to others too. Which is fine. I don't talk very much (that's the understatement of the century ... I only talk when I have something to say, a tip that others should also follow). However, The Help has a very annoying voice, and laugh ... and she talks all the time. Sweety, I'm pretty sure that you're not being paid to sit and talk and get in our way. I have yet to see her do anything useful. And this may mean nothing to everyone else, but when my other RA friend/coworker MB told me about the "Sorry, computer NOT for RA use" sign, I was PISSED. First of all, WE don't even have a computer to use. Not for office work, not for internet, nothing. And then The Help has to put up a sign that basically translates to, "The RA's are children and cannot use a computer responsibly." This chick CANNOT pull the age card. She's the same age as us. She is NOT our superior. SHE is The Help. She doesn't have to deal with all the little shitheads that live in the buildings. She isn't up all night because there's been an emergency. We've worked VERY hard to get our shit together over the past month without any leadership but our own abilities to work as a team, and now we have new bosses that aren't giving us the respect that we deserve. And it's very frustrating. MB called all the RAs this week to organize a separate meeting before our weekly staff meeting, and then took our feelings to our bosses. So hopefully we get some more respect soon, cuz I don't know how much more of this I can take.
In other news, the first weekend that I was on-call I went to my friend's place (another one of the RA's) and drank. How very responsible of me. But I don't feel so bad, cuz there was three other RA's there, and the VP of the student government. I only got one call while I was drinking though, and it was to my old apartment. Let me tell you, THAT was a trip. Knocking on your own door for a noise complaint?! Weird. One of the other RA's also tried to give me a lap dance. Try and catch me when I'm more drunk buddy, otherwise you can forget about it. I have far too many qualms about being embarrased in public.
I've been going on a lot of dates lately. All from the online personals. I think I'm incapable of meeting people in real life, but I think I've said that before. I know that statistically, first dates hardly ever translate into second dates. But this really depresses me. Yesterday I played tennis with this guy that looks exactly like mathew perry (you know ... chandler from "friends") ... except with a nicer body ... and younger. I feel bad now though. I didn't want to play tennis. I know how I get when I play games (especially tennis). I'm extremely competitive. I turn into a bitch actually. I have to win, in one of two ways when playing against a guy. First, of course, is winning the game (whatever it is). However, sometimes I'm just not capable of winning the game. So if I'm going down, I'm taking the guy with me, whether he wants to go or not. I achieve this by insulting his manhood at EVERY possible moment. It's quite satisfying ... much more so than winning I think. Because yeah, I just lost a piddly game of tennis, but YOU just had your manhood knocked down a dozen notches. :angel:
But this whole being a bitch thing concerns me. I haven't been as mean to a guy as I was to "chandler" in a long time. I used to be like that all the time. I was the bitch, the shrew, the ice queen. My tempestuousness was matched by no other. My sister told me that when I come to Utah she wants me to go on a double date with her and her boyfriend, and a "friend" of theirs who she described as a jerk. She wants me to put him in his place. Make him see that he's a selfish, ungrateful, arrogant, bastard. Now, I really don't have a problem with doing this, but it bothers me that that's the image my sister gets when she thinks of me. And I feel bad when I'm mean to someone like that. Who wouldn't who has a heart? But it bothers me. I'm NOT mean. I'm a nice person. I'm just not mean to guys like that anymore. But I'm not saying it wouldn't be satisfying to tell this guy off. However, doing that without swearing (damn goodiegoodies and their RULES!) will be a GREAT challenge.
And I'm done.
I'm excited. I'm gonna be living in a one-bedroom. That's bigger than my apartment right now. And I get to take my furniture with me! If I had had to be in a smaller apartment, I couldn't have taken it with me (cuz the other RA apartments are smaller and already furnished). So YAY!