So at 2:47am, I'm awakened by a huge crash, which I think is my closet collapsing. I'm about to ignore it, I'm enjoying sleeping so much, but then I turn on the light.
Some drunk dude in his mid-to-late forties has walked into my apartment, presumably slipped on my entryway carpet, and is semi-conscious on the ground with his back against the inside of my door.
Pictures when I get home.