Lock your doors, people
- Thread starter Purnell
- Start date
I don't always lock my door, but I try to remember to now.
A couple of years ago I had a freaky dream about being attacked in my apartment. I woke up and was creeped out so instead of sitting there telling myself it was a dream untill I was calm enough to fall back asleep, I decided to walk through my apartment to make myself feel better. I noticed my door was unlocked and locked it and went back to sleep. A couple of hours later I was woken up to the sound of somebody trying to open my door then knocking on my door. I got up and tried to talk to the person through the door and they kept asking for different people that did not live n the building. I looked through the peephole and could see a man trying to hide where he thought I would not be able to see him. So I told him to fuck off and said I was going to call the cops and went back to bed when he left. I was freaked out and extremely lucky that it all went down like that.
A couple of years ago I had a freaky dream about being attacked in my apartment. I woke up and was creeped out so instead of sitting there telling myself it was a dream untill I was calm enough to fall back asleep, I decided to walk through my apartment to make myself feel better. I noticed my door was unlocked and locked it and went back to sleep. A couple of hours later I was woken up to the sound of somebody trying to open my door then knocking on my door. I got up and tried to talk to the person through the door and they kept asking for different people that did not live n the building. I looked through the peephole and could see a man trying to hide where he thought I would not be able to see him. So I told him to fuck off and said I was going to call the cops and went back to bed when he left. I was freaked out and extremely lucky that it all went down like that.
I worked with a guy several years ago who thought he was going crazy. He was in the habit of leaving his cash on the living room table every night when he got home. The money started to disappear. He replaced the locks and that sort of thing, but the money kept disappearing. (I don't know why he didn't quit leaving money there- maybe he only left enough to see if it would disappear).
He searched around his apartment and finally discovered that there was an enormous hole behind his refrigerator that opened right into his neighbors apartment. Every time he would leave the apartment, his neighbors would come in and steal any money they could find.
He searched around his apartment and finally discovered that there was an enormous hole behind his refrigerator that opened right into his neighbors apartment. Every time he would leave the apartment, his neighbors would come in and steal any money they could find.
Who ARE you people who don't lock your door??
Two locks, baby. The useless chain. I don't buzz people up unless they answer, don't open the door for delivery folks w/o cred, don't let people inside unless THEY buzz up. I've gotten cursed out for this. Fuck them. I will call security to check the doors and the lobby out if I think there's shit up. Granted, I'm fortunate enough to have security in my complex and front doors that lock down after midnight most of the time (so people can't just buzz anyone in).
Ya freaks. Fucking be careful! And if your landlord hasn't repaired your buzzer that controls access to your front door, or it doesn't lock there, get on his sorry ass - it's a condition of the safety of your building!
And watch your windows, too. My friend and his girl who lived in a "second" floor (firstish) townhouse studio were rudely awakened at 5 AM by a homeless guy who climbed in their street front ungated (Or open gated, actually, I don't recall now) window, as they cowered helplessly in his loft bed as he ripped off their wallets and jewelry. Fire Gates should open from the inside and operate properly, but be aware of their condition before going off to dreamland!
Gruff McGruff, Safety Fucking Hound
Two locks, baby. The useless chain. I don't buzz people up unless they answer, don't open the door for delivery folks w/o cred, don't let people inside unless THEY buzz up. I've gotten cursed out for this. Fuck them. I will call security to check the doors and the lobby out if I think there's shit up. Granted, I'm fortunate enough to have security in my complex and front doors that lock down after midnight most of the time (so people can't just buzz anyone in).
Ya freaks. Fucking be careful! And if your landlord hasn't repaired your buzzer that controls access to your front door, or it doesn't lock there, get on his sorry ass - it's a condition of the safety of your building!
And watch your windows, too. My friend and his girl who lived in a "second" floor (firstish) townhouse studio were rudely awakened at 5 AM by a homeless guy who climbed in their street front ungated (Or open gated, actually, I don't recall now) window, as they cowered helplessly in his loft bed as he ripped off their wallets and jewelry. Fire Gates should open from the inside and operate properly, but be aware of their condition before going off to dreamland!
Gruff McGruff, Safety Fucking Hound
One night, a friend and her boyfriend were awoken by someone insistently trying to get their keys in the door. The boyfriend of the friend had just moved to NY so he assumed that they were being burglered so he grabbed an empty bottle of wine and ran to the door and looked through the peephole. Before he did, Julie (my friend) called the police. He looked through the peephole and saw the top of some guys head as he fumbled with his keys in the door. The boyfriend hit the door a couple of times, but the guy just kept on trying. Finally, the boyfriend realized that the guy was harmless and opens the door. In stumbles, this drunk guy holding on to a pizza box like it's his teddy. He looks around and decides to lie down on the floor. At about this time, Julie says - "Um, aren't you Dave Attell" and he says, "Can I just sleep here?" Julie says "You could sleep in your own bed - it's just down the hall." And Dave Attell looks up and says, "Why are you in my house?" Julie says, "Honey, you're drunk - why don't we get you to your bed." Dave: "I'm sleepy" Julie: "We'll take you home."
They get him up and into the hall as the cops are getting off the elevator.
They quickly realize that it's Dave Attell and are asking to help the insomniac to his apartment and Mr. Attell points to Julie's boyfriend and says - "NO, he's helping me."
So, they get him inside ... end of story.
Except that it's not. About three months later, Julie runs into Mr. Attell and she says "Hey." and he says "Quit fucking telling that story to everyone."
They get him up and into the hall as the cops are getting off the elevator.
They quickly realize that it's Dave Attell and are asking to help the insomniac to his apartment and Mr. Attell points to Julie's boyfriend and says - "NO, he's helping me."
So, they get him inside ... end of story.
Except that it's not. About three months later, Julie runs into Mr. Attell and she says "Hey." and he says "Quit fucking telling that story to everyone."
This is the best thread I've read since the one about the rca cables and the dvd player.
here it is http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/showthread.php?t=15440&highlight=cables+cord
here it is http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/showthread.php?t=15440&highlight=cables+cord
Sounds like your friend lived next door to The Borrowers .
op: I farted just now.
Hey, I took care of it, didn't I?!
it's weird...i still haven't had that shudder moment I think I'm supposed to have...after the cops came and took him outside, I basically hopped on the IRC and posted that the name Mailer Daemon was awesome, then got right back into bed.
eh, I am a robot.
...WHO LOVES MAILER DAEMON
this would be awesome if it were an elaborate Mailer Daemon plug, but it's not.
it's weird...i still haven't had that shudder moment I think I'm supposed to have...after the cops came and took him outside, I basically hopped on the IRC and posted that the name Mailer Daemon was awesome, then got right back into bed.
eh, I am a robot.
...WHO LOVES MAILER DAEMON
this would be awesome if it were an elaborate Mailer Daemon plug, but it's not.
To those of you who may forget to or just not lock your doors, remember this: bad people come into buildings (delivery guys, even) and just walk by and check doors to see if they're unlocked. An unlocked door is like a birthday present for bad people!
I just discovered I love the phrase "bad people". So child-like.
I just discovered I love the phrase "bad people". So child-like.
When I was visiting a friend in Atlanta in 1994, we woke up after a night of partying, arounnd 1:00 in the afternoon to find Lenny Dykstra, former center fielder for the Philles and Mets, passed out on our couch.
We woke him up and he asked "what time is it?" We told him, and he said, "Oh shit". Can you drive me to Turner field?
We did, whereby Lenny hooked us up with two tickets to the 4:00 Braves/Philles game, in which he went 2 for 4 with a home run.
Never spoke or heard from him again, and to this day, Jeff (my friend) and I, are both still a little foggy on just how Lenny ended up on his floor. We vuagely remember hanging with him and John Kruk in Buckhead, and remember LLenny getting in the car with us to go back to Jeffs with about 10 other people, but nothing after that.
We woke him up and he asked "what time is it?" We told him, and he said, "Oh shit". Can you drive me to Turner field?
We did, whereby Lenny hooked us up with two tickets to the 4:00 Braves/Philles game, in which he went 2 for 4 with a home run.
Never spoke or heard from him again, and to this day, Jeff (my friend) and I, are both still a little foggy on just how Lenny ended up on his floor. We vuagely remember hanging with him and John Kruk in Buckhead, and remember LLenny getting in the car with us to go back to Jeffs with about 10 other people, but nothing after that.