karma stalking

#1
i did something really bad last week and i've been paying for it ever since.

i get most of my cloths from one place, a tiny little boutique near my house. the owner is a very lovely girl about my age (goddamn it). i like her because she doesn't follow me around the store pointing at the crap that won't sell and declaring it her favorite item in the store. i also like that she never barges into the dressing room while i'm trying to force my ass into a pair of jeans. she really just sits in the corner and reads her book until she's called upon for advice, at which point she will give you the cold hard truth so watch out.

i had been a very good girl all week and i felt i deserved a new item of clothing of some sort. i picked myself up a delicious tea beverage and headed to my favorite store (girlfriend's having a sale, what a nice surprise!).

i was in the mood to shop. within minutes my arms were completely full of adorable things i might buy. dresses were slung over my shoulder, hangers hooked to my wrists (that hurts), but i kept adding more to the pile, more, more, more! i also happened to have a lid-less chai tea sloshing around in my hand.

i'm very clumsy. i either spill down my chin or fall if i try to walk and drink at the same time. why i thought i could shop and drink will always be a mystery. anyhoo, brown liquid soon completely covered a skirt and a shirt, both white. my eyes darted to the girl in the corner. whew, she didn't see.

i ran to the dressing room to assess the damage, ya it was bad. the skirt i liked and it fit, so i could just buy it. but the dress was terrible and too small. should i buy the dress even though it's expensive and doesn't fit (since i did ruin it)? should i fess up and accept responsibility for my actions? should i point out the stains to her as if i were not the perpetrator (we would probably have a lengthy discussion about bad manners)?

i called my best friend from the dressing room to ask her advice. we discussed the pros and cons of each alternative including any long-term ramifications. in the end i quietly but the dress back on the rack (oozing guilt) and brought to her the items i wanted to buy.

you think i'm a terrible person? well get this, when she saw the stain on the skirt i was buying she insisted on giving me 75% off! i tried to argue that it would be easy to get the stain out and it was no big deal, but she was steadfast and the more i protested to the more guilty i seemed. oh god.

so i paid and ran out of there. now my karma is stalking me (rightly so, i know). so far i've lost a very nice pair of sunglasses and a blockbuster movie, i broke a wine gobblet, the light on my cell phone went out, i've broken out in a rash on my face, i fell full on my ass three times at work on sat night, and i keep finding bugs in my apartment.

i'm scared.
 
#2
in case of emergency

every girl has one...i think.

the tampon that fell out of its box months ago and has been floating around under the sink ever since. you don't throw it away just in case. you may need it one rainy day.

it never occured to me that i'd actually use it, but i just did. it had obviously been batted around a while. the wrapper was all dirty and torn, the cardboard out of shape. i used it anyway (hesitating but a moment) and now my emergency tampon is gone.

i'm going the store.
 
#4
hoho strikes again

i am a sloppy sloppy whore!

my mom came in from Jersey last night (a rare treat since she does not like to travel). I took her out to dinner with some of my friends and proceeded to get COMPLETELY shit faced.

I ended up dragging the poor woman all over town and making out with a virtual stranger right in front of her. i didn't just make out with him once, oh no. i would get up from the table, slobber all over him for a few minutes, then sit back down as if nothing had happened. after a few minutes i'd go back for more.

I had my hand up his shirt, OK?

oh god, i was that girl in front of my mom! i thought i was being irresistibly sexy and sneaky but in reality the skin around my mouth was red from chafing and my eyes were crossed. and it was totally my fault cause i was the aggressor. I'm not even sure he wanted to make out with me, but i wasn't askin' so...

my mom had to take me home and put me to bed. she left before i woke this morning.

of course i don't remember the whole night, just bits and flashes. the phone has been ringing off the hook, though, with friend and well wishers offering to fill in any blanks with great detail. so i pretty much understand the full scope of what i've done.

WHY? why did i have to whore out in front of my mom?



someone needs to just put me down.
 
#5
to ho or not to ho?

would you sleep with a married man for $2000?

cause i'm thinking about it, and to be honest it sounds like a good deal to me.

i mean, he's good lookin' (50's), obviously rich, successful, smart, all that shit. ya he's sleezy, but i have definitely slept with worse... for free. actually, i probably bought them dinner then endured the skill-less groping, bad dirty talk and endless pounding, only to be left with a thousand pound pussy and a lingering question...now why did i fuck him?

at least now i'd have an answer.

but then there's that whole stigma attached to whoring...i don't know what to do. i need the money, but not if i'm gonna feel bad about it. i just don't know, but i'll keep ya posted.
 
#6
it was sad to see all the kids yesterday trick or treating at fast food restaurants and tattoo parlors.

is it me or were there lots of chickens this year?
 
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