i hit my sexual peak during harold night...

[GoldDustWoman]

Rollercoasters I have Ridden/Am Riding

1. The Rebel Yell at Kings Dominion with my college buddies. Former Best Friend sang scales "operatically" all the way up while I countered her with "Holy Fucking Shit."

2. The Cyclone at Coney Island. Twice in a row when I was a social worker, with my coworker while our clients watched with great amusement. We were so stoked after the first go-round that we raced to the back of the line of cars again and got on. The back car, incidencally is the smallest (we were big tall girls both) and has the most side to side play. Fucking insanity.

3. Uh, my life. Err, ha ha ha. Indeed. Move over, slam the retaining bar down.

Remember a while back, I had something really poetic written about improv and roller coaster rides? Callback! Callback!

Hey, by the way, do I still get to keep the improv journal even though I am in fact an acknowledged Terrible Improvisor?

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Hoo ha hitcount!

Wow, 15,000 readers!

Hilarious!

Or, three really devoted ones.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Help me out with this one, folks.

I can't decide whether or not I'm a terrible cynic, or an incurable romantic, or a relentless pragmatist, or a caring nurturer....

Do I have to be all these things?

Curses.

Shouldn't I just be one of those things?


Who am I, anyway? Am I my resume? God, I hope not?

Registered United States Patent & Trademark Office. That's a given.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

a time for peace, I swear it's not too late.....grrrrr.....

Really, I was planning on committing all kinds of itchy catty one-sided banter to electronic "paper." I was, truly, guilty of all kinds of ridiculous thoughts....Mean, bitchy thoughs. Ridiculously negative thoughts about myself.

Instead I'm trying to remember, that it's that time of year again. Trying to atone. To seek forgiveness.

I spent an awful long time on the phone, however, indulging those baser instincts. I won't lie, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Right now I'm studying up, in my tiny way. Reading up on a few things and trying to find some solace and comfort in distressingly unfamiliar territory during a ridiculously tumultuous time in my life. Every year, I get a little more familiar, I do. Perhaps, this year I need it more than most.

Then I let another year go by, more or less. Maybe another half year or so; I think I attempt to self-educate a couple of times a year.

In other news, the Key Food now carries bacon flavored chip dip (canned, unrefrigerated). Ew. Needless to say, I passed.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Broadway Flea Market, Annual Haul

Arrival: 10:05 AM
Crowd level: Unexpectedly high
Level of used playbills: Lower than usual
Level of used videotapes: Ragingly high (DVD conversion level peaking)

Won in $1 wheel spin: A quantity of "Phantom of the Opera" fridge magnets. Not won: theater tickets, fun grab bags, personal training session, spray-on tanning sessions (!), comedy club tickets.

Won in $1 "Mary Kay grab basket": What I thought was hand cream but is actually body scrub (ew!)

Definite Letdown purchase: One CD of "World Soccer Anthems" by the Japan Philharmonic. Was looking forward to rousing multilingual drunken chants from all over the world, what I have is national anthems from all over the world. Anyone wanna play Olympic Ceremony with me (however that works?) I should've noticed the "no vocal credits" on there, too, but I was pretty hungry and decaffeinated at that point. There are also weird bonus opera tracks on it that I could've lived without. (And I was on the fence between this and the Rebecca Pidgen acoustic guitar/folk songs CD. Damn!)

Best purchase that my CT college buddy saw first: Encyclopedia Shatnerica, a compendium of all things William Shatner. Damn!

Best gift: CT friend gave me "Truth in Comedy" to replace yet-to-be-returned lent-out copy. (Should it be returned, I will likely gift this one out.)

Slight Regret non-purchase: $10 bright-red sunglasses worn in "Mamma Mia." But come on, I would never see Mamma Mia! Please.

Rest and remainder: (again, no single item over $5, most much less)

- Silly keychains: One from "Cats," one shaped like a maraca (possible props)
- Three large picture frames still in shrink wrap to give to someone as gift.
- Used Books: Paula Wolfert cookbook. three Noel Coward plays, "How to run a Theater," hardback book on Russian icons for Christmas present, "Cruel Shoes" for birthday present.
- Sliding-top matchbox with Ford's Theater on it.

Not a bad haul, all in all. Just cleaning up my office before I trek back out for assorted other errands and Ethiopian food.

Update: Ethiopian Food Outing, as usual, quite a messy treat! Two Improvisors are Ethiopian food virgins no more - hooray! (Assorted other errands, alas, a wretched failure. My new leather jacket, however, looks quite fabulous, if I do say so. There, I said so. Confirmed by CT college buddy. Brooklyn-dwelling college buddy, aka "the civilian" skipped dinner, alas, thus missing the opportunity to bask in my temporary fabulousness, eat hand to hand with improvisors, and accept my apologies for being a total flake to him the other night.)

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Levels!

Level of frustration: High
Level of anxiety: High
Level of exhaustion: High
Level of desire: High
Level of excitement: High
Level of anticipation: High
Level of blood sugar: Low
Level of core body temperature: Low
Level of blood pressure: Low
Level of tolerance: Low
Level of patience: Low
Level of neckline: Low

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Learn from My Experience, Darlings!

If you stopped and thought about all of the people who have let you down, frustrated you, wounded you, failed to meet your expectations, disappointed you or otherwise completely fucked you over, your head would explode.

So, don't. Okay? Do not dwell on the shortcomings of others, but focus on your own strengths and look to the future, not the past, for inspiration - and be sure to act in the now. You will be much more content, productive and sane. And happy.


(And I'm just talking about this month!)
(She's kidding, seriously! She's talking LIFE EXPERIENCE!)
(No I'm not! My life prior to then had been full of nothing but flowers and housebroken puppies!)
(Yes she is! That's a complete crock!)
(Boom!)
(Boop!)
(Bah!)


SERENITY NOW!
- Seinfeld

 

[GoldDustWoman]

You don't know him. Not really.

You pass him on the way to work, into the subway station. He's familiar to you, but you don't know him, really.

He starts to take shape in your mind.

Maybe he sits next to you, once or twice, you feel his shoulder press against yours, in his denim jacket, his leather jacket, his Gap-button down shirt, depending on the day. You remember the coat, but you don't know him, really.

You chat a couple of times, about the weather, maybe, the lateness of the trains. Lately, a little more. He's kind of shy. Midwestern, yeah. You surreptitiously check his hand, no ring. Maybe, a bit about work, the usual back and forth; he's in a casual office, that's obvious. Cool. Funny you never run into him on the way home, though. Even though you rarely go straight home, you'd think....Whatever.

Then, you don't see him. One, two days pass. You look anxiously around the corner, where did he go? You remember, he was no model, no Harrison Ford, but kind of attractive, that guy, in his own odd way. Definitely a small fixture in your day, like the coffee cart guy, regular two sugars he knows before you even have your money out.

Friday comes, still, you board the train, alone, wondering. Monday, you've kind of forgotten, and anyway you're late, you skip your coffee and hail a cab.

Today you sip your coffee and walk lazily to the train, it's so nice out. You look up, and there he is. And you smile, and speed up, just a little, to keep pace. And it's nice.

How can you have missed him? You don't know him, really. But you kind of do, and you certainly did.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Me.

For my classmates and friends who do read my journal, I sincerely do apologize for not making it tonight. I don't feel at all well, and I'm going to be in bed, very very soon.

I have however edited out the rest of this because it was upon further reflection just a bit too fucking whiny.

Good night, all.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

A small shallow thing. But kind of relevant. And maybe related.

Okay, when people talk about "Sex and the City" (not that they should) they always talk about Carrie's thing with Big, or the Russian, blah blah blah. Or even big old hunky Aidan, the carpenter with a heart of gold, yadda yadda.

But never the thing with Berger (Ron Livingston). Why? Because, people, it was the most real.

They were contemporaries. They weren't impossibly handsome, or pretty, the both of them together. They were in similar lines of work, more or less. They did sweet, funny things together. They shared happy kisses on city streets. And weren't they both sort of short?

And then, she had the nerve, the gall, to succeed. And he couldn't handle her success, or worse, her desire. And he bolted. Via a Post-it, no less.

And that, my friends, was that.

People don't play things real because they are afraid.

They go for the joke, the drama. Baryshnikov, Big. The millionare's sweeping grandiose gestures, the glittery artist's histrionic abuses. They hide behind the fantastical character, the chiseled ideal, the ethereal sprites of fancy.

Never the pain or the truth or, yes, the sheer humor of the real.

What are you afraid of?

Berger.

I think, I do, that I am going to miss improvising. And I couldn't fall asleep, right away.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Rock-tober?

In less than a week, I will be in Chicago.

In less than two weeks, I will have fun company!

In barely a month, I will be in London.

let's get my proverbial ass in gear.

Whatever happens, October promises to be an interesting month.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Housekeeping

Okay, do I really need red and black fishnet stockings, a strapless black satin bustier, a 50s-style black long lace-trimmed panty-girdle (so retro!), several lace camisoles (black, red-tags on), a tan hook and eye corset, an extremely clingy low cut red wrap dress, a long-sleeved black lycra low-cut swing dress (yet unworn but quite attractive, actually, and crying for accesories), four inch heels (red and black) and black patent "leather" ankle boots yet unworn (Parade of Shoes close-out sale).....

Maybe.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Update

General physical health: Improving, imperfect

Dizziness: Fluctuating

Taste in foods: Sodium-ridden

Laundry: Undone

Pile of clothing: High

Diet soda flavor: Black cherry

Trash bags full of paper: Three

Missing credit cards: One

Undone work: Lots

Passport: Found

Phone bill: High

Denial about phone bill: Higher

Frivolous sections of Sunday paper: Unread

Favorite canned soup: Tomato

Eyebrows: Neglected, raised

iPod charge: Low/Medium

Number of electronic rechargeable devices: Excessive

Number of international electronic plug converters: One

Number of packages to return to post office: Two

Number of packages that will be pawned off on future ex to return to post office: 0-2

Neediness of pet: Great

Need to hang clothes to restore sufficient space on bed to sleep: High

Likelihood of falling asleep on couch watching sketch comedy DVDs: High

 

[GoldDustWoman]

song of the day....

"Drink With Me" - Les Misérables

Feuilly:
Drink with me to days gone by
Sing with me the songs we knew.

Pouvaire:
Here’s to pretty girls who went to our heads.

Joly:
Here’s to witty girls who went to our beds.

Students:
Here’s to them and here’s to you!

Grantaire:
Drink with me to days gone by
Could it be your fear to die?
Will the world remember you when you fall?
Could it be your death means nothing at all?
Is your life just one more lie?

Men:
Drink with me to days gone by
To the life that used to be
Let the wine of friendship
Never run dry. Here’s to you
And here’s to me.

Women:
Drink with me
To days gone by
To the life that used to be.
At the shrine of friendship
Never say die
Here’s to you
And here’s to me.

Marius:
Do I care if I should die
Now she goes across the sea?
Life without Cosette
Means nothing at all!
Would you weep, Cosette,
Should Marius fall?
Will you weep, Cosette, for me?

http://www.deepakmitra.com/lyrics/lesmis/drink-with-me

 

[GoldDustWoman]

very short update

dinner: tasty

leftovers: lots

emotions: mixed

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Random News

1. My brother is awesome! He came all the way from Long Island just to bring me a chain saw (don't ask) and hang out for a bit. I showed him around the theater a little, but he was a little shy, especially since he was all cement-dusty. Julie B said we looked a bit alike, but I think she was just funning with us! My brother is blonde, wiry and adorable! I am not!

2. My "Family Share" cell phone bill was $233 and none of the overage minutes were mine! I cut off my wireless web and my local text messaging package (fear not, my text-based friends, I can still send/receive individual text messages, which were, FYI, surprisingly cheap! Good times!)

3. Verizon suspended my long distance for a 13 year old past due bill of $170 that I never paid! (what the eff?) I think I skipped out hoping my annoying 104th Street roommate would somehow get burned with it. Alas!

4. I am eating too much salty food. I have, however, had a pint of ice cream in my freezer for days!

5. There is a medium-sized red spot spreading over the white part of my eye. Should I worry? Arrgh!

6. I just realized I submitted multiple GYN bills to Mental Health insurance. Crazy!

7. Jiffy Pop 94% FF Kettle Corn Microwave Popcorn is really good!

8. Private clients can drive you batty, and no matter how much you undercharge them, do not like paying you money!

9. My creativity is not at a peak right now. How obvious is that? Exclamation points are not a substitute for genius!

10. I just remembered the wet laundry I brought upstairs this morning never got hung to dry! Craptastic.

 

[GoldDustWoman]

So tempting. Or, give me three good reasons why not.

From the Fordham Alumni Career Planning web:

Adventurous Attorney

Experienced trial lawyer wanted to handle civil and criminal public defender conflicts in rural Alaska. Case load includes felonies, misdemeanors, child in need of aid, delinquency, probate, guardianship and conservatorship cases. An adventurous attorney desiring unique experiences and a wide variety of cases sought to work in Bethel, Alaska. Bethel is a small town located in southwestern Alaska, which is the hub for Yupik Native Americans in the region. Contact Josh Fink, Alaska Public Advocate by fax with resume and cover letter at xxx-xxx-xxxx. Fax copy to Brian Kay, Supervisor at xxx-xxx-xxxx. $87,000 plus outstanding benefit package (health, dental, vision, retirement) Submission deadline 9/30/2004. Position is immediately available. Equal Opportunity Employer.

Even better...Pago Pago, anyone?

Chief Justice Michael Kruse and Associate Justice Lyle Richmond are currently soliciting applications for one-year judicial clerkships at the High Court of American Samoa during the 2005-06 and 2006-07 terms. Please note that the High Court is not a federal court and is not subject to the timetable of the federal law clerk hiring plan. Because of the location of the High Court, the Court is only able to travel to the mainland for interviews biannually, and will therefore be seeking applicants for both terms at this time. Applications should contain a resume, legal writing sample, official law school transcript and two letters of recommendation. These must be complete and received by February 1, 2005. Interviews will take place in late March, most likely in San Francisco, California. DESCRIPTION Chief Justice Michael Kruse and Associate Justice Lyle L. Richmond of the High Court of American Samoa plan to interview prospective law clerks for the 2005-06 and 2006-07 terms in late March of 2005. Interviews will be held on the U.S. mainland, most likely in San Francisco. The High Court is the supreme court of American Samoa and is also the Territory's only court of general jurisdiction. American Samoa has no federal district court. Rather, the High Court combines the trial and appellate jurisdiction of a state court system with much of the jurisdiction that federal district courts exercise elsewhere. Each of the two Justices sits as a trial judge; three-judge appellate panels generally consist of the Justice who did not try the case and two federal judges, typically drawn from the Ninth Circuit, specially designated as Acting Associate Justices. Chief Justice Kruse is a native of American Samoa who holds a Bachelor of Laws from Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand, and a Master of Comparative Laws from George Washington University. Prior to his appointment to the High Court in 1987, he practiced law in the Territory for fifteen years. Associate Justice Lyle L. Richmond received his Bachelor of Laws from Yale Law School. He practiced law in California, and the former Trust Territory of the Pacific Islands. Since 1975, he has practiced in American Samoa, including three years as the Attorney General, eleven years as the Governor's Legal Counsel, and two years as Administrator/Legal Manager of Samoa Packing (Pago Pago) before his appointment to the High Court in 1991. Law clerks work closely with both judges. The salary is $34,000 plus a $4,000 moving allowance, round-trip transportation and subsidized housing. It is anticipated that the High Court will employ two clerks for both the 2005-06 and 2006-07 terms, each term commencing on or around August 15. The duration of the clerkship is generally for a period of one year. Applications are currently being accepted for both terms. Applications should contain a resume, legal writing sample, official law school transcript and two letters of recommendation. The primary qualification is the ability to think and write clearly. High academic standing and a competent writing sample are ordinarily the best evidence of this ability. Send applications to: High Court of American Samoa P.O. Box 309 Pago Pago, American Samoa 96799 C/o Lawclerks Letters of recommendation may be sent separately. Applications must be complete and received by February 1, 2005. Priority mail to American Samoa takes between seven and fourteen days to arrive. Any applicant who desires further information may contact the current law clerks, Adam Clanton or Gabe Bowne at xxx-xxx-xxx-xxxx or (email)

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Quick Remote Update

1. Wrigley Field is awesome! No billboards, no bullpen, MANUAL scoreboard, REAL ivy crawling up the walls. Just a dream come true.

I snapped a photo of Sammy Sosa swinging for a home run that I will post when I get home. I LOVE Sammy!

Cubs lose, 2-1. Bummer. But still a great baseball day.

2. There is a hideous but popular drink called a "Cherry Bomb" which is a shot of cherry vodka dropped into a glass of Red Bull. It is violently nasty but makes you giggle like mad.

You can still smoke in Chicago bars! (I didn't).

3. Tomorrow, I will see some improv, I swear! Tonight, I am sitting around avoiding the debates and....relaxing? (Who me?)

Love,
- g.d.w. on the road

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Quick remote nonchronological update #2

1. Baby Wants Candy was fucking awesome! As expected. But oh, do I love Baby Wants Candy! Did I mention how much I love Baby Wants Candy!

2. Went to BWC with both my Chicago buddies. I met my Chicago college buddy guy friend's first truly "out" boyfriend at the bar afterwards, hanging out with them for hours. What a completely adorable couple, I'm extremely pleased.

3. Started the evening seeing my college buddy girlfriend (who I'm crashing with) playing guitar at the Old town school. So cool seeing your friends perform, seriously. (Hope they feel that about me, ha!)

4. Went to the MCA downtown. Exhibits consisting of (1) soft sculptures resembling, well, vaginas (2) randomly curated figures representating some sort of tension but having individually cool pieces (morgue photos, Foucalt pendulum as a pool table, neon multimedia) and (3) a pretentious German artist's first museum show whose work reminded me strangely way too much of my future ex-husbands, and actually caused me to make a phone call home (unanswered) and choke up quite a bit. Went to gift shop, bought the requisite postcards, pen and journal.

5. Passed the afternoon in Lake Shore park and downtown, scoping softball players, writing, chatting, snacking, taking photos. Beautiful day, really.

6. Poking around near Old Town school, found a store with incredible 70s and 80s toy and game-abilia. Nearly bought too much crap. Succesfully did not, much, anyway. (ha!)

7. Thinking that i'm glad I've taken a smallish trip away, especially before taking one quite so far as overseas. Realized that I haven't really been away since "getting sick." Realized that the prospect of being away from home, alone completely on my own, can be a bit daunting. Resolved to take a bit better care of myself, at any rate, and stop running myself into the fucking ground. Realized lots of things, actually. That's what spending a day off on your own will make you do.

Well, I'm off, then. Baked Chips and yogurt and soda for breakfast, I love vacation!

 

[GoldDustWoman]

Ripping Off "A losers diet" (libations version)

Wednesday Night:
1 Diet Dr Pepper (on plane)
2 (stiff) Smirnoff Apple Vodka & Soda (friend of bartender)
1 Cherry Bomb (never again, got me very ill the next day as it turns out)

Thursday Night:
1 Iced Tea (due to ingestion of Xanax)
1 tall glass Skim Milk (goes with cookies, alas)
1 Diet Coke

Friday Night:
1 Smirnoff Rasberry & Soda (pre-BWC show)
2 Smirnoff Rasberry & Soda (post-BWC show)

Saturday Night: (accompanying a dinner party with copious amounts of meat being served, by the way, including moose. Yes, moose.)
1 12 Year Old Irish Whiskey (very smooth)
4-6 blended Canadian Whiskey (very nice, forgot name, small glass was topped off by host from time to time)
1/4 Cream Whiskey (vile, not Baileys)

Sunday:
1/2 flat Diet Coke (breakfast, no coffee in house before flight)
1 OJ on rocks (hangover helper on plane)
1 Yoohoo (unhealthy, yes, but supplied by mom)
1 Barbados Rum & Diet Coke (home on lengthy phone call, sipping)

err.....