How Low can you Go?
- Thread starter Paul Scheer
- Start date
Ok, lately, I did an impersonation of a woman giving a blow job while trying to sing the Chili's baby back rib song.
Also, I was a guy who distributed drugs to employees that caused then to hallucinate and see me and others fucking all sorts of animal, and then animals fucking other animals. ALTHOUGH that was more of a group decision I tihnk. Oh yes and my mother attempting to fuck me with a Double dong named Chet, that refered to itself in the third person.
Shaun
Also, I was a guy who distributed drugs to employees that caused then to hallucinate and see me and others fucking all sorts of animal, and then animals fucking other animals. ALTHOUGH that was more of a group decision I tihnk. Oh yes and my mother attempting to fuck me with a Double dong named Chet, that refered to itself in the third person.
Shaun
Well one time I was playing a game of freeze tag and I ended up lieing down when Alisha came to initalize:
"Man, You're best human tobahgin ever!"
"I know babe, so why dont you hop on and I'll take you for a riiiiide!"
Tom always used freeze tag as our warm up and so that day I brought in the space-heater
"Man, You're best human tobahgin ever!"
"I know babe, so why dont you hop on and I'll take you for a riiiiide!"
Tom always used freeze tag as our warm up and so that day I brought in the space-heater
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Two scenes, years old
1. After Princess Diana died, I initiated a scene where I was a paparazzi screwing the dead corpse of the Princess at the accident scene saying to my reporter friend "This is the closest I'll ever get to a princess". The audience was stunned into scilence.
2. During a round of freeze tag I found myself on my knees next to my fried Scott. I initiated the Special Olympics 100 Meter Dash for Legless Retarded Kids. We flopped around on stage for about 5 minutes. Everyone was laughing so hard no one could come and tag us out.
I will burn in Hell for those.
-Erik:up:
1. After Princess Diana died, I initiated a scene where I was a paparazzi screwing the dead corpse of the Princess at the accident scene saying to my reporter friend "This is the closest I'll ever get to a princess". The audience was stunned into scilence.
2. During a round of freeze tag I found myself on my knees next to my fried Scott. I initiated the Special Olympics 100 Meter Dash for Legless Retarded Kids. We flopped around on stage for about 5 minutes. Everyone was laughing so hard no one could come and tag us out.
I will burn in Hell for those.
-Erik:up:
When we were experimenting with "Truth in Comedy" style Harolds (asopposed to them more modern version you big city types do), we did a scene that ended with everyone in the company at a funeral for one of the characters. As the priest delivered the service, we took turns walking up to the corpse, miming taking our pants off and taking a dump on the corpse. The highlight was when the priest followed suit.
The really nutty thing was that this was reincorporation.
I said "really nutty thing" and "taking a sump" in the same reply. Huh huh. Huh huh huh.:tsk:
The really nutty thing was that this was reincorporation.
I said "really nutty thing" and "taking a sump" in the same reply. Huh huh. Huh huh huh.:tsk:
this must stop happening to me
It started about three monthes ago. For some reason, During our 5B show, the scene turned into a porn set. They said cut and to bring out the "Fluffer". Well with my years of experience watching porn, i jumped at the chance to be one of the hardest working employees of the porn industry. So i started blowing the guy. I mimed his penis as being long and thick. And i played with his nuts, Like i have seen in so many pornos. Well, I have played a fluffer for at least three more scenes. I don't know why? I hope it's because i give good head.
I'm a star, a bright shining star.
It started about three monthes ago. For some reason, During our 5B show, the scene turned into a porn set. They said cut and to bring out the "Fluffer". Well with my years of experience watching porn, i jumped at the chance to be one of the hardest working employees of the porn industry. So i started blowing the guy. I mimed his penis as being long and thick. And i played with his nuts, Like i have seen in so many pornos. Well, I have played a fluffer for at least three more scenes. I don't know why? I hope it's because i give good head.
I'm a star, a bright shining star.
I have gone so much lower, but this one sticks out because of how much Jed liked it. It was a freeze tag at IO. I was sitting on someone's lap. A new person tagged in and took the place of the person I was sitting on. They made some kind of sexual innuendo as their initiation, to which I responded in my best Asian-child voice, "Me want to go back to Vietnam."
so low.
In a rehearsal group, i uttered, without even the slightest trace of an accent, "Hello, I'm former president Jimmy Carter, and I'd like to talk to you today about how awesome hate crimes are."
Rachel, God bless her, took the bait, and it turned into a scene debating the merits of Southern racism vs. German racism.
This occurred precisely one week ago. I'm not proud, but nowhere near as ashamed as my social conscience is telling me to be. Also, I'm kinda pissed off because I wanted to go even lower with my third beat, but we cut it off due to time constraints.
In a rehearsal group, i uttered, without even the slightest trace of an accent, "Hello, I'm former president Jimmy Carter, and I'd like to talk to you today about how awesome hate crimes are."
Rachel, God bless her, took the bait, and it turned into a scene debating the merits of Southern racism vs. German racism.
This occurred precisely one week ago. I'm not proud, but nowhere near as ashamed as my social conscience is telling me to be. Also, I'm kinda pissed off because I wanted to go even lower with my third beat, but we cut it off due to time constraints.
Paul, if you're referring to the scene between you and Owen at the recent "Pillowfight" you're leaving out Owen's response to being whacked in the groin:
"This will do"
(Scheer crosses to Owen and whacks him in the groin with lead pipe [I thought Scheer ID'ed it as a golf club -- a driver, perhaps. Ed.])
Upon impact Owen, in a loud voice, sings:
"Baaaaaaand on the run!!!"
I cannot overstate how f-ing funny it was. It's one of the few improv scenes that still gets a laugh in the retelling to people that weren't there.
If you're referring to a different scene, then yeah, it was a real low-brow move.
"This will do"
(Scheer crosses to Owen and whacks him in the groin with lead pipe [I thought Scheer ID'ed it as a golf club -- a driver, perhaps. Ed.])
Upon impact Owen, in a loud voice, sings:
"Baaaaaaand on the run!!!"
I cannot overstate how f-ing funny it was. It's one of the few improv scenes that still gets a laugh in the retelling to people that weren't there.
If you're referring to a different scene, then yeah, it was a real low-brow move.
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Hey Katie
I remember the Swarm's all-farting battle scene group game...
It was a backline move that was yes-anded into infinity and watch you jokers lose your shit over was what made it killer!
I think it was Billy and Dave doing some kind of ninja battle and the sword clashing noises became more and more fart-like until Delaney entered and exploded in flatulence.
Classic.
DM
I remember the Swarm's all-farting battle scene group game...
It was a backline move that was yes-anded into infinity and watch you jokers lose your shit over was what made it killer!
I think it was Billy and Dave doing some kind of ninja battle and the sword clashing noises became more and more fart-like until Delaney entered and exploded in flatulence.
Classic.
DM
Just one!?!
I play in The Hot Karl every week, so I can't even begin to list all of the horrible things I've said and done. I will relay one recent bit that doesn't flatter me, but does showcase the talents of Mr. Frank Caeti.
I was manning a lemonade stand and Frank picked up a cup of lemonade and was about to drink it when Bill Arnett offered him FREE lemonade. Frank put down the cup and said, "Well, I guess I'll get some lemonade from him." I replied, "You can't return that lemonade. You've given it your AIDS." Frank's response (looking at his chest, without missing a beat, naturally): "I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt."
And, Mullaney? Thanks for that trip down memory lane. I laughed oh-so-hard.
-
I play in The Hot Karl every week, so I can't even begin to list all of the horrible things I've said and done. I will relay one recent bit that doesn't flatter me, but does showcase the talents of Mr. Frank Caeti.
I was manning a lemonade stand and Frank picked up a cup of lemonade and was about to drink it when Bill Arnett offered him FREE lemonade. Frank put down the cup and said, "Well, I guess I'll get some lemonade from him." I replied, "You can't return that lemonade. You've given it your AIDS." Frank's response (looking at his chest, without missing a beat, naturally): "I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt."
And, Mullaney? Thanks for that trip down memory lane. I laughed oh-so-hard.
-
Jed's post reminded me of a funny scene. . .I remember a scene from the Jam when Billy Merritt was selling urine to Rob Huebel so he could pass a drug test. Huebel's 2 bosses came out and asked him what he was doing and Billy and Huebel said it was lemonade, one of the bosses innocently bought the lemonade for $35. He tasted it and said that was urine and he spit it out in disgust. Paul Scheer who was playing the other boss did not believe it was urine and was sure everyone was pulling his leg. Everyone was super serious begging him not to drink it, but he bought a glass for $75 and drank it, spit it out and yelled, "That's piss!" Aaaaah, so good. Good times, eh boys?! I'm hungry, let's get a taco.
owen
:tsk:
Why is this guy giving the finger to someone behind him?
owen
:tsk:
Why is this guy giving the finger to someone behind him?
I have to admit that I'm a real tight-ass when it comes to low brow. Unless it's COMPLETELY purposeful to the comedy, going for the easy shock laugh kind of turns my stomach.
That being said, this thread has made me laugh more than any other thread on the board, so go figure. Erik, the Princess Diana thing may be the funniest improv moment I never saw. Which I'm glad of, because I apparently would have been a lone voice laughing hysterically, thus drawing the audiences' hate from you to me.
Was it a ninja scene, Dyna? Yes, I think you're right. One must not forget that the primary reason that scene was such a success was the die-hard commitment and fart-noise ability of Joanne Morrison, pre-Ice-9.
As for myself, the first thing that comes to mind is the queef Harold. Vaginal farts, ninja farts -- we got it ALL, people!
That being said, this thread has made me laugh more than any other thread on the board, so go figure. Erik, the Princess Diana thing may be the funniest improv moment I never saw. Which I'm glad of, because I apparently would have been a lone voice laughing hysterically, thus drawing the audiences' hate from you to me.
Was it a ninja scene, Dyna? Yes, I think you're right. One must not forget that the primary reason that scene was such a success was the die-hard commitment and fart-noise ability of Joanne Morrison, pre-Ice-9.
As for myself, the first thing that comes to mind is the queef Harold. Vaginal farts, ninja farts -- we got it ALL, people!
decoster and i were in class last week and in the opening he talked about work camps for 7 year olds. so i initated a scene where we were youngsters at a work camp and he was the old hand. i didn't call out what we were chopping up with our axes and sledgehammers. decoster says something about them being from africa, then someone makes a crying noise from the backline. decoster starts dribbling a baby like a basket ball, and we comment how their distended stomachs pop easily when you bounce them like that. so we ended up chopping the heads off of exploding starving babies. good stuff.
time for me to fess up again. i hit some low-brow notes in last night's New Team Harold. most notably, leading a campfire singalong that focused on the word "poonany," ostensibly singing with 6 year olds. (thats what i get for listening to the ODB for an hour right before the show.) i was then pimped into explaining the concept of "poonany" - which i defined as a "heavenly place." i was then asked if jesus liked "poonany."
it was all "yes and"ing from there.
a degree of shame, one that i didn't realize until way after the fact: one of my scene partners was participating in the scene, that is, singing along, with her family in the front row. i sorta felt bad about that.
it was all "yes and"ing from there.
a degree of shame, one that i didn't realize until way after the fact: one of my scene partners was participating in the scene, that is, singing along, with her family in the front row. i sorta felt bad about that.
The best thing about this one is that I was making up a class I missed, so I was with a gang of unsuspecting students of Mullaney who knew nothing about me. I could explain the whole setup, but I'll just let you know that I have uttered the words...
"I am gonna fuck that baby in the soft spot."
- Gethard
"I am gonna fuck that baby in the soft spot."
- Gethard