Hey You, Be My Girlfriend!

[PatBaer]

Journal #3. Let's hope I keep up with this one.

I made a choice today I hope I don't regret. You see, in Feb. I'm going to tech harold night again. I miss it, and I much perfer teching improv these days rather than sketch.

I had class on Tuesday nights that, while great, kinda made me sad because I missed so much. I feel like my last great stride in learning the craft came from a steady diet of harold night.

So I was all set to start up again. Then the 4P was announced.... Real Real World with Paul Scheer... on Tuesday nights. Tuesday night 4P means no harold team members, and a damn good shot at getting accepted.

And I passed on it.

So I can tech.

I'm signed up for Julie's 3B (never had Julie before- woohoo!), which won't be over till the begining of April. So I'll won't be able to take the 4P that's offered in March either (I COULD take if it I paid for it, but a UCB class is half my rent... so no).

So I can tech harold night.

Here's hoping I learn something.

 

[PatBaer]

The turnaround time from posting my first entry to this was really quick. Thanks Mullaney!

This entry will be short, because all I want to do is explain the title of this journal. Almost a year ago, I was in a practice group of sorts and our coach gave me a specific note. He said "In this harold, try and be more aggressive in your first few lines".

At the time I was pretty timid onstage and played alot of low status characters that looked at the ground and were openly pathetic (I still do these characters, but far less frequently). I had gotten notes similar to this before, so I was determined to be more aggressive.

In the first beat, I turned to my partner and said "Hey you, be my girlfriend!" He said "Ok, let's go to the dance".

And we went to the dance.

 

[PatBaer]

To be a popular, upbeat journal, you must mention good things, good times, and awesome people. I will now pander to the audience.

Sunday night I went to Terry Jinn's to play halo with Terry, Dave Berman, Millie Cho, Pete Olson, and Doug Moe. I think I'm getting better at halo, and I enjoy the fact that its a hobby that doesn't cause me to lose money (ie poker).

Right now, I'm at the UCB office (surprise, surprise) with Alex, Kevin, Zach Woods, and BAXTER!!!! What an awesome fucking dog. Baxter's all up in everybody's stuff, but that's cool with me.

I got some good news from Kate Spencer yesterday. She's agreed to be in my sketch show (Mr. Wonderful Ruins Everything). I have now cast 1/3rd of the people in my show. I also met with my director (who didn't mention me in his journal so screw it if I mention him) last night and got alot of great ideas for some re-writes. Hurray!

Tonight is my final Juicy Details show. You should come out a see it, improviser. Come see the most work ever put into getting a suggestion.

 

[PatBaer]

What up, IRC? Was my last entry cool enough for you? Good, so now I can do a depressing pitty entry to make you go "awwww". Don't worry, I'll be hilarious next time... maybe.


I’m writing this in word while I wait for the IRC to become unbusy. Ha. Unbusy’s not a word. But I’m keeping it. Take THAT, spellchecker! Any who, what’s new with me you might ask? Not a whole lot, except for the fucking scar on my face.

So I was adjusting a light last night, when it suddenly fell. But wait, it didn’t drop to the floor. No… it swung on the safety chain it was attached to right into my FACE. Scratched my right lens a bit and took a bit of skin, too. So I’ve got my first UCB battle scar, besides the emotional one of course (HA!).

In other news, I give up. You’re obviously not interested in me, hot girl I’ve liked for months. I guess maybe I should have asked you out instead of getting to know you and developing a friendship first.... Silly me. Oh shit, I should stop typing this since there's a chance one of your friends will read this and email you about it.

And you, crazy girl I date LAST Feb (and posted about in my old journal), stop calling me! We're not getting back together.... you broke all the glasses in my apartment! And you're not the good kinda crazy I usually like! You need some help!

And now if you'll excuse me, I've got to update my nerve profile.... yeah, I'm that guy now.

 

[PatBaer]

Hey, remember the hot girl from the last entry? Well I had TWO dates with her!!!!

Sort of.

So here's the story. Hot girl works for a company I flyer for. We've had about 20 short conversations in the past 3 months. We've hung out with other people from her work, too... and chatted on aim alot.

I had JUST given up, when she called me Saturday night. I was at Dave Martin's party and she wanted me to come uptown to Rudy's Bar. I wasn't really talking to anyone at the Pussycat, so off I went to meet up with Misao. (Yes, her name is Misao. She's a short, petite asian girl with green eyes and the faintest hint of a japanese accent. )

Misao was hanging with a bunch of her work friends, but they quickly left. She explained that they were all going to a party for a girl she didn't like, which is why she called me.

So we hung out, played songs on the jukebox, and talk about all kinds of things. She got a little drunk and huggy, but the mood was friendly not romantic. She went to Brooklyn, I went to Queens. End of night. Was it a date? Dunno, but it was fun.

The next day, I wake up at 10 to find a voice mail from her. Lunch in Park Slope? Why the fuck not? Lunch was great. Mexican food and more cool conversation. This was a date, right? Right? All I know is, Misao had a good time, I had a good time, and I'm not giving up just yet.

 

[PatBaer]

Misao went to Vermont for the weekend again (family stuff), so we didn't see eachother for Valentine's Day. Which is good, because we've only been on 4 dates. I did order a box of chocolates that will arrive at her work on Monday with a note that says "I didn't forget". Aren't I sweet?

I've done nothing exciting lately. I beat Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds for Xbox and then went back and unlocked a few hidden things I'd missed. I still haven't beaten I-Ninja (my icon).... because it's fucking hard.

I've also made a list of things I want to accomplish by March 1st. I will be updating this list in the next couple weeks. Here goes.

1. Move into a new place.
2. Cast my sketch show.
3. Play more poker.
4. Change my tech schedule so I ONLY work Tuesdays.
5. Take Misao to Asscat.
6. Try and get a bartending shift.
7. Resurrect Geekprov.

7 things. We'll see, IRC. We'll see.

 

[PatBaer]

1. Move into a new place.
Looking at an apartment tomorrow.
2. Cast my sketch show.
Still finalizing the script.
3. Play more poker.
Won the second tourney on Wednesday.
4. Change my tech schedule so I ONLY work Tuesdays.
I'm teching a show on Monday, March 1st.
5. Take Misao to Asscat.
"I've got to be at work at 7am on Mondays now".
6. Try and get a bartending shift.
Haven't asked, probably should.
7. Resurrect Geekprov.
Berrebbi's in. That's a start.

 

[PatBaer]

I'm very bored. I will now share various things with you, the IRC community.

Erin Rose Foley refuses to be my friendster.

Mucka Ferguson is a fucking awesome band.

I just applied for Billy's 4P class.

Gerald Ford was the first President who was never elected into office.

Misao might be moving to Vermont.

I went to this restuarant called Moustace on Friday and ran into a girl I haven't seen in two years.

I couldn't remember her name.

It's Jackie.

Shannon O'Neil thinks she and I should do a two person improv show. She said this at McManus... she might have been drunk.

Ben Rodgers is alive and well.

 

[PatBaer]

More fun facts!

It's possible to kill a man by shoving his nose directly into his brain.

Misao is moving to Vermont this week. We have no plans to do the long distance thing. Sucks!!!

I moved in with Jawnee Conroy on Friday. I will not be writing a hilarious show based on our adventures in living together.

I've won 5 free iTunes songs thanks to pepsi and the trick I learned to see if you won before opening the bottle.

I have an extreme case of writers block. I need to snap out of it.... like now.

 

[PatBaer]

I was able to write today. Updated two sketches, worked a bit on a third. Still need to cast.... hopefully this week.

Misao leaves Wednesday... I'm seeing her tonight, and tomorrow afternoon. If she finishes packing, she might come to Harold Night.

I suddenly don't feel like writing anymore, at least in this.

 

[PatBaer]

Misao lives in Vermont.

I live in NYC.

My sketch show is almost done.

Casting is almost done.

I'm way too logical is scenes. Way too in my head. I think I've made progress, but not enough. I want to do a form where I don't have time to think, where I'm expected to be insane and crazy... I want to play my alto sax.

Basicly, I wanted to be in a class where I could do all these things.

And I'm sad I'm not.

 

[PatBaer]

The Darkness is wonderful. The band I mean, not actually darkness. That can be wonderful, in a strange sense.

I have many names:
Patrick
Pat
Baer
Pbaer
PatBaer
Patches
PBiddy
The Baer
PB
Peanut Butter
MacBaer
Techie
Stage Manager
Helper
Partner
Friend

I didn't think until now to add "improviser".

Yeah, I should probably do more of that.

 

[PatBaer]

What's that song lyric? "You and I travel to the beat of a different drum"?

I feel like I can't escape that quote. No girl's ever ACTUALLY said that to me, but the standard "we're in different places in our life" or "I'm just not ready" seem to mean the same thing.

I know, I know- I'm co-dependent. I need someone in my life, constantly. I never feel more alive or loved than when I'm in a relationship. Since it had been almost a year between crazy girl and Misao, I had almost forgotten how good it felt to have someone call you at 2am just because.

The return of the "dozen crushes" happened a couple days ago. I've stopped thinking about Misao so much, and now my attention returns to those lovely ladies around me who have caught my eye for months.

And you, dear reader, do not get to find out who, because I am not stupid. Obviously, if my crushes (not really 12, more like 4) don't read this, they know people who do. But I'll give you sublte clues, since I'm a gluton for punishment (and yes, that does make me pretty stupid).

There's single girl, who wouldn't probably be interested with me right now, if ever.

There's the tease, who damn well knows I like her, but I'm not the only one and that gives her some kind of thrill.

There's the friend, who I spent so much time getting to know and enjoying her company I totally missed my chance and now she has a boyfriend.

And then there's the girl who I was openly flirting with, and I think she blew me off the other day. Not really sure though.

And the best part: I want three of them to be in an improv show I'm working on. This is really starting to feel like a pattern.

 

[PatBaer]

Tonight, my sketch show was supposed to go up.

It will not. I knew it wouldn't be ready, so we've taken it off the market.

It saddens me, but I plan on putting up sketches here and there and seeing what happens. Maybe I can get a Friday at 7 slot or something.

In other news, please come to the UCB on Tuesday at 6:30pm. My classmates and I need your support. We're funny.

 

[PatBaer]

A new Tradition

Harold Night 4/13
I = my ipod, K = Kula's ipod, CD = obvious

Hosts: Members of the Real Real World.

8:00pm
Opening: Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies- Different Drum (I)
Police Chief Rumble: The Trammps- Disco Inferno (K)
Police Chief Rumble: Average White Band- Pick Up the Pieces (K)
Opening: Dragon Ash- Ice Man (I)
Optimist International: Ramones- Surfin Bird (I)
Optimist International: Weezer- I Just Threw Out the Love of my Dreams (I)

9:30pm
Opening: Andrew W.K.- Ready to Die (I)
Gigawatt: T. Nice- Gigawatt Theme (I)
Gigawatt: Huey Lewis and the News- Power of Love (I)
Opening: Ramones- I Don't Want to Grow Up (I)
Dillinger: Steve Miller Band- Who Do You Love? (CD)
Dillinger: Elvis- Burning Love (CD)

 

[PatBaer]

It continues...

Cage Match 4/15 Filth vs Respecto (C)
Winner- Respecto

I = my ipod, K = Kula's ipod

Hosts: Chris Kula and Eric Scott

Filth Intro: Soul Asylum- And See What You Find (I)
Respecto Intro: Bloodhound Gang- Jackass (I)
Handshake: REM- Shiny Happy People (K)
Filth Opening: Muckafergason- I Wanna Get... kc (I)
Filth Ending: Weezer- Sugar Booger (I)
Respecto Opening: Stroke 9- Kick Some Ass (I)
Respecto Ending: Pennywise- Same Old Story (I)
Dance Party: Kool & The Gang- Ladies Night (I), Tower of Power- What is Hip? (I)
Teams: New Found Glory- Never Ending Story (I)


Q. Hey Pat, what's up with the harold and cage match music being posted in your journal?

A. People occasionally ask me about a song I played.... and sometimes I can't remember. That's why I'm doing this. Also, I want everyone to finally realize that Dillinger only uses songs with the word 'love' in the title.

Q. It looks like you picked all the music tonight except for the handshake song. Why?

A. Some teams have their own entrance music, some don't. Filth and Respecto never give me music to play. The same is true for Optimist International.

Q. Dance party?

A. Yeah. It's cool. You should do it.

 

[PatBaer]

Harold Night 4/20
I = my ipod, CD = CD

Hosts: Chuck D and Jawnee

8:00pm
Opening: They Might Be Giants- Doctor Worm (I), Metallica- Jump in the Fire (CD)
Trillion: Kay-Gees- You've Got to Keep on Bumpin' (CD)
Trillion: Kay-Gees- My Favorite Song (CD)
Opening: Ramones- R.A.M.O.N.E.S. (I)
Van Buren: Hum- I'd Like Your Hair Long (CD)
Van Buren: Nerf Herder- Sorry (I)

9:30pm
Opening: The Darkness- Givin' Up (I)
Filth: Muckafergason- I Wanna Get... kc (I)
Filth: Weezer- Sugar Booger (I)
Opening: Dragon Ash- Mustang A Go-Go!!! (I)
Monkeydick: The Bomboras- Mile Zero (I)
Monkeydick: The Bomboras- Run and Hide (I)

Notes:
I've decided that for now, Muckafergason's "I Wanna Get... kc" is Filth's intro and Weezer's "Sugar Booger" is their outro. It will stay their opening until they give me entrance music.... or I get bored with those songs.

 

[PatBaer]

Cage Match 4/22 Dillinger vs Respecto (C)
Winner- Respecto

I = my ipod, K = Kula's ipod, CD = CD

Hosts: Charlie Todd

Dillinger Intro: Dragon Ash- Perfect Government (I)
Respecto Intro: Foo Fighters- Monkeywrench (I)
Handshake: Jefferson Starship- We Built This City (I)
Dillinger Opening: Jackson 5- You Really Got a Hold on Me (CD)
Dillinger Ending: Joan Jet- I Love Rock and Roll (CD)
Respecto Opening: Stroke 9- Kick Some Ass (I)
Respecto Ending: Pennywise- Same Old Story (I)
Dance Party: Daft Punk- Around the World (I)
Teams: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes- Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow (I)

 

[PatBaer]

I got drunk dialed last night. My ex Misao called me to tell me she hasn't slept with anyone yet since moving back to Vermont. Woohoo I guess. I dunno.

In other news, I'd like you all to take a minute at some point in your day and vote for me for best tech. http://www.baldalienpimp.com/ECNY/ I've probably teched at least one of your shows. Remember that New Team, or that show where your tech bailed and I filled in? Good times.

 

[PatBaer]

Cage Match 4/26 (Winner joins regular Cage Match rotation) Possible Side Effects vs Shit-Storm
Winner- Shit-Storm

I = my ipod, CD = CD

Hosts: Chuck D and Jawnee

Opening: Spacehog- The Hogyssey
PSE Intro: New Found Glory- The Goonies R Good Enough (I)
Shit-Storm Intro: The Electric 6- Gay Bar (CD)
Handshake: Cake- I Will Survive (I)
Shit-Storm Opening: Queens of the Stone Age- Go With The Flow (CD)
Shit-Storm Ending: Christopher Cross- Arthur's Theme (CD)
PSE Opening: Dragon Ash- Ice Man (I)
PSE Ending: Creedence Clearwater Revival- Molina (I)
Voting: Motorhead- Ace of Spades (CD), Motorhead- Eat the Rich (CD)

Teams: Dragon Ash- Perfect Government (I)

Note: This was a special Cage Match, so there was no dance party. I also used Spacehog's version of 2001, just to mix things up.