Robert,
You are the most loyal, the most dedicated, and yes, the craziest person I have ever met. Thanks for being so awesome.
I like sitting next to you in an audience because people in front of us always turn to see who's laughing and clapping and I think that's rude so I make faces at them (or mean gestures) until they turn around again. I mean, really! It's a comedy show, jerkoffs.
I digress. This is about your birthday. I hope your parents called you. Or rather, your "parents."
And I hope it you had a great day!
Love,
Kate