Betsy-
Alabama State Senator Harri Anne Smith told me to forward you these birthday wishes!!
Not only am I completely and unalterably opposed to your birthday but I support a constitutional amendment to do away with the possibility of these sorts of immoral days of birth...forever!
Your ideas about celebrations, streamers, balloons, and party hats might be acceptable in New York...they are not acceptable here...and they should not be acceptable anywhere.
While I certainly support your right to blow out candles, please don't bother me with your birthday drivel, ever again.
Sincerely,
Harri Anne Smith
-fred
ps happy "immoral" birthday!!