Galaxies

[EpicZero]

This is my Star Wars Galaxies Journal. Star Wars Galaxies is a massive online role-playing game which happens to take place in the star wars universe. Its basicly a videogame for the pc which you can do whatever you want and talk to other people in order to build up your character to be totaly awesome and kill people.
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I am Eason, and as my starting profession I have chosen to be a scout. From my understanding, a scout is just a guy who can live off the land and shoot stuff, which is totaly rad. My homeworld is the desert planet of Tatooine. Its famous, because both Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were born on my planet. I was born in the city of Mos Eisley. I have always wanted to shoot stuff, whether it be a wamp rat (kinda like a real rat but the size of a large dog) or even a shrill (which is like a lizard the size of a tiger) so I decided to look around for someone who could instruct me in the ways of a scout. I found a person named Veli (who is a real person playing the game just like me), an expert marksman, and noticed he was on a speeder bike. Speeder Bikes (flying motorcycles) look awesome and I want one, but I dont really know how to get one. I chose to talk to him.

Eason - Hi, im new
Veli - hi, want to duel for fun?
Eason - umm..ok

Veli and i began to duel. I dont have a gun so I just kinda punched a lot. Veli took out his rifle and started pounding away at me. about 15 seconds later I got nocked unconcious laying on the ground dazed.

wow.

I have a lot to learn if I want to start kicking ass and taking names. Veli healed me and honorably helped me up. He said that I should learn to be a marksman and he gave me a starters pistol FOR FREE. Thats totaly awesome. I said goodbye and me and my pistol went to the edge of town to see what kinds of creatures were around.

I want to blow some shit up, just like Veli. I also want a rad spacebike, like Veli. I found a Wort(a harmless looking froglike creature) on the edge of town and decided this would be the first thing I ever kill. As me and the harmless wort raged into battle, I found myself completely overpowered by the deadly teeth of the froglike wort. I shot away at it, but my vision started blurring and to save my own life, i chose to run away. THE WART PURSUED!!! and I was unconcious once again trying to peace together what happened. Then a shadowy figure apeared over me and helped me up. Her name was Kys Diem. Kys is a red head and a scout like me, but much more experianced and wayyy hot. She told me I should go with her on a hunting mission and show me the ways of the scout. Since Kys was so hot, I decided to go along. Obviously I thought this could be love. Ignoring my temptations on our way to a taradactle lair (i dont remember what the creature was called ok??? but it looked like a taradactle.) she told me that after a while I would get better at shooting stuff and my aim would improve. I hope so cause if a frog can kick my ass, how am i supposed to get to be the most feared man in the galaxy?

Once at the taradactle lair, we began to shoot them and obviously i got nocked unconcious but Kys did a good job of killing most of them. She then healed me and when i got up we both blasted away at the lair as I looked longingly at her. She didnt look at me that way which sux but maybe she is this guy behind a computer who thought it would be cool to be a chick in this game so i never said anything. After I had gained some skills by killing this lair, I chose to shoot frogs outside of Mos Eisley to practice my new skills. I actually killed some and spent the next couple of days honing my skills some and shooting Worts and Shrills like a good novice scout shoud. Im still wondering how i can get a cool bike.

Mos Eisley is kinda dumb. There arent a lot of people on it, and if im to be well known, I need to be around a lot of people at the same time. I chose to pack all my things and walk to the next town. The Town of Anchorhead. It cant be that far away, I looked at my map and its pretty close to Mos Eisley on the map. So I hiked to Anchorhead. I litteraly took me 15 minutes to get there walking, and for the whole 15 minutes (real time, 15 minutes of walking), I dreamt about my future bike which would be awesome once I got it. I hope they arent expensive. About 10 minutes into the walk, I really wanted that bike. This game is gonna suck if I have to walk for an hour just to get to any city farther away than Anchorhead. I really need a bike.

I was attacked and nocked unconsious quite a few times on the way to Anchorhead. I got attaced by these grimlin looking things, and then by these dinosoar beasts with long necks. This totaly sucked and once again i wished for a speederbike which could take these problems away so if I was ever attacked by a killer dinosoar again, I could just fly away on my rad speederbike.

Once I made it to anchorhead, I was pleased there were lots of people there. There were people selling clothes, which I need some cause the ones im wearing now dont make me look like a badass whos been around for a while. I took a note of that(need to look like a badass ASAP). I also found people forming hunting groups. I imediately joined a group. These groups take missions to go out and kill a pack of bad creatures and there nest for a lot of money and then split it between all the group members. Obviously I am not gonna die as easily if I have 12 other people to act as moving distractions, by distracting the bad creatures from killing me (so fast). And ill earn money in the process. Some people in the group were medics. Some were scouts like me. Some were even creature handlers (who are people who can tame wild creatures to fight people or to ride on for travel). One guy was a brawler who was skilled in the art of using his fists to fight. One person was a bounty hunter. He wore armor and had a carbine gun, which is like an uzi. One of them was a Wookie, kinda like chewbaca except with pure white fur.

Before we headed out, the wookie gave me a carbine he wasnt using (which is a better gun than my starters pistol which is only good for starting trackmeets and races). Nice wookie. arrrrhararar. We headed out east of Anchorhead and came across a nest of THOSE FUCKING DINOSOARS. ALAS, I will have my revenge. These are the same motherfuckers who killed me on the way into town. As soon as we arived they attacked and I had my new gun(i call it "sammy"), my wookie friend and the rest of my team at my back. After battling these dinosoars for 5 minutes, they were all dead AND I didnt get nocked out the whole time! I earned 1000 dollars which is the most money Ive ever had. I dont think I even have a thousand dollars in real life. We moved on and completed several more missions like this one except different creatures and I walked away with 8000 dollars. I even earned new skills such as: How to run faster up a hill. How to aim better. How to duck and roll. How to fire a shot at point blank range into the head of a badguy. And how to fire a leg shot (which is the equivalent of karate kid sweeping the leg, IN MY MIND). I asked one of the doctors how much I could buy a wicked awesome bike for around these parts and the guy said about 22 thousand dollars. Damn It. I only have around 8K. As I walked back to town, I decided to spend some money once I got there at the bazarr. The Bazarr is kinda like Ebay.

I found some thrifty pants, A helmet and a armor chestplate made of bone. I also found a cool trenchcoat jacket to wear. This put me out 5k. The coat is located on the planet of Naboo somewhere and once I get the money, i need to go pick it up. They didnt have any cool coats to buy on my planet of tatooine (that i could find in the bazarr). I decided to take my longseeve shirt off but keep my chestplate on. This is so I could show off the fercious battlescars on my manly arms. Even though im a day old, Im a battlehardened warrior now, not to be fucked with. A battlehardened warrior who needs an awesome spacebike, to get all space chicks everywhere.

 

[EpicZero]

The next day I joined a few more hunting groups and finally got about 14 thousand dollars in my bank from fighting stuff. I needed a vacation so I bought a ticket at the shuttle port to the TSA Fort. It wasent that great of a fort, but I did meet another scout like me there who said I just missed a guy called Bricktop who was selling a speeder for 13k. THATS AWESOME CAUSE I HAVE 13k. I gave bricktop a call on my star wars space cell phone(the chat messenger in the game) and he offered me a speeder for 15k. I told him I wanted it for 13 and after haggling, he said "give me all your money and you can have it". (which was 14k). I said ok and took the shuttle to the city of Bestine. I met him by the spaceport and he showed me the speeder.

Problem was he didnt have a bike. The speeder he had was like a flying car, which is not as cool looking as a bike. He had one of those things that obiwan and luke had in the original starwars movie, and that sux, but its better than walking. I decided to take it and I would have to buy a bike at a later time if I wanted to be really wicked awesome. Currently I just dont want to get eaten by dinosoars if I have to walk outside a city all alone by myself. I can earn more money anyways.

Bricktop then asked me if I was in a guild. I said no. He said he was in one, a guild simpathetic to the rebelion called The Ghosts. The Ghosts is a rebel guild of people who have there own player city and Bricktop(or BT for short) said he could get me in if I followed him. SO I rode in my new Easonmobile and he rode on his Lizard creature 1200 miles to the middle of nowhere. We finally arived at a small city called tweedleville, a player made city. BT showed me his house which was really big, and said if I join the guild and vote this guy tweedle as mayor, i could get my own for free. I just have to join the rebelion against the Empire and be aproved by the mayor. This guild also does missions for money against the empire and if I join I can do that too. I guess its like becoming a boyscout. I said yes, and BT sponsored my entry into the guild. Now, when tweedle comes back online, he will have to approve me and I can get a house and do really cool stuff in the game.

BT and I parted ways. Im sure I will see him again at some point. He went back to anchorhead, I decided to roam around tatooine in the Easonmobile. I came across the Lars Homestead accidently. The Lars Homestead is luke skywalkers house from the movies. Not much to see really. I couldnt break into it(which is lame) so I just got back into the Easonmobile and continued on my ways. I made my way back to Anchorhead, and once I got there, I set up my campsite and took a much needed rest. Hopefully tommorow I will be in the Ghost Guild and kick more ass.

Next day (which was today)--

Well I rode into anchorhead on the easonmobile and found myself face to face with Bricktop again. Bricktop got someone to build and sell him a bike. Im poor and cant afford one yet. Bricktop told me that his guildmaster Tweedle was online. Just then Seer Tomte, the guy who told me about bricktop stroles up and the 3 of us chitchatted for a little while

Bricktop - Ok guys follow me
Me- where are we going
Bricktop - tweedleville to meet tweedledum. Hes the mayor and he wants to speak with you.

So the 3 of us rode back out to the middle of nowhere that is tweedleville. On the way i was thinking about whether i was "in" enough to become a ghost. BT and seer both had bikes and left me in the dust. So i was soloing all the way there in my flying hover car thing. As I got to the outskirts of the city I found tweedle.

Tweedle - Hi
Me - Hi. BT sent me
Tweedle - good follow me

I exited my vehicle and followed him to the center of town. There I met up with Seer and BT and then was joined by his apparent online GF. cant remember her name. As we all walked into this cool looking throne room, The initiation began.

Tweedle - Ok this is a 6 step process. step 1. Do you Eason want to be in the guild.
Me - yes.
Tweedle - Step 2. in order to be in this guild you may be nuetral or rebel, but not imperial. Do you accept these terms?
Me - Yes.
Seer - Im at 60% rebel another 40 and ill be official!!
Me - SHHHH!
Tweedle - good. You are now all part of the Ghosts .Step 3. In this city you are allowed to have a free house. Do you want one?
Me- hell yes.
Seer - Yes
Seers gf- yes
Tweedle-Ok I have given you all property rights in the city. Follow me and do exactly as I say.

I followed tweedle to this one spot and i was nervous, i dont want to fuck things up in front of the mayor.
Tweedle - Step 5. Eason.
Me - huh? yes?
Tweedle- plant your house exactly where i am standing. seer, seers gf, follow me NOW.

I planted my house but I wasnt sure where it should be exactly, because the screen was difficult to decipher. (look this is the first time ive even tried to have a house OK?!?!!!!)

Me- is this ok? is it in the right spot?
Tweedle - sigh...NO. Destroy it IMEDIATELY.
Me - fuck. i always fuck shit up.

I have just fucked up in front of bricktop and tweedle. Im not making a good impression on my new neighbors, let alone the mayor of the city. I replaced my house at a different location, thankfully, this time in the right place.

Tweedle - Ok Eason, now pay your maintenace on your house.

I payed and wondered where this money was all going. Who is using my hard earned star wars galaxies taxpayers dollars? I guessed it was tweedle but wasnt sure. I followed tweedle back to the mayors mansion/townhall/guildhall.

Tweedle - Step 6. This is the voting machine. Vote me as mayor now.

OK HOLD ON. As I look at the machine there is only one person running and that is tweedle. What kind of Democracy is this? Apparently as tweedle further explained, if I vote him as mayor, it makes him stronger. (Tweedle is a wookie, majoring in political science. hes a novice but in time if people keep voting for him, he will be a master politician). I hesitantly vote him as mayor, since he gave me a free house. (which is cooler than no house)

Bricktop was looking on the whole time, not saying a word. He just sat against the wall like a badass waiting for the initiation to be overwith. I wonder if he gets a cut of the pay for bringing in 3 new townspeople or something. Thats ok with me, because BT is a cool guy. (in reality i think hes a european).

And that was that. I now have a house and automatic friends. I am in a star wars galaxies fraternity now. Most importantly, I have a house. Now to save up to get that bike, and that rad coat from the other planet...

 

[EpicZero]

I Joined up with my neighbors for the first time today. We had a family outing of sorts, since we decided to leave the planet of tatooine and hunt on another planet. Since I was still poor and couldnt afford a ticket, the mayor of my town and leader of my group(The Ghosts), Tweedle, gave me the 2100 I need to get there. I thanked him and drove in the Easonmobile all the way to the city of Bestine (which is the closest city to tweedleville, and also has a starport for transportation to other planets).

The group wanted to go hunting on a planet called Dantoine. To get there from Tatooine, I would have to take a connecting flight to the planet of Corellia, then buy a ticket from Corellia to Dantoine. Connecting flight, kinda like real travel. It also took me about 20 minutes to get there in real time, cause you have to wait till the shuttle arrives which is about every 10 minutes.

Once I got off the shuttle, I met with the group, who was was all ready to do some hunting. Hunting on tatooine is nice, good missions pay about 10k total per mission. Its then split between the group members, so usually I would get about 1k or less out of a mission on Tatooine. Dantooine is much better though. As I was battling along with my group against these killer elephants, I earned about 2.5K in one mission.

During our hunting I gained lots of experiance towards mastering my profession of Scout and Marksman, and I also met a hot chick, another scout like me, who is in our ghost clan. I cant remember her name (all the names in star wars are really wierd, I chose a simple one) Anyways, back to this chick, I think im gonna write her some space poetry that happens to be about love. Everybody loves space poetry. And space poetry about love ROCKS.

During our battling I even taught her a thing or 2 about being a scout, helping her gain experiance towards mastering the profession (it involves a point/cost system), but what I really wanted to do was teach her a thing or 2 about love. She said "who can teach me hunting 3?" and what I wanted to say was "I love you" but it came out as "I can teach you that.". So I got nervous...maybe next time Ill get some balls and tell her she is the hottest alien chick and I love her and we should have space alien babies.

This girl is the same race as that dancer chick who falls into that pit in Return of the Jedi in Jabbas palace. The chick with the 2 things coming out of her head.

BUT HOTTER.

Note - if you freeze frame the movie just as she is falling, you can see her boobies pop out of her dress. not that I have ever looked...er um...something.

So I made out with 28k after the hunt was over. I can now afford a bike(which costs roughly 22k i think). I have gone back to tatooine, my home planet to look for someone selling one.

I also have a suspicion that Tweedle, the mayor, is a jedi in training. When I asked if we have anyone training to be a jedi in The Ghosts, he replied "*cough, no". Im gonna take that as he is almost a jedi.

Being a Jedi in the game is apparently really hard. First off, you have to spend loads of time trying to unlock your force sensitivity, then once you do that, you have to train to be one, and not die (which is hard) or else your training must start all over. This is to keep the population of jedi down in the game, so that not everyone is a jedi, kinda like the movies. If everyone was a jedi it would be stupid. But there are jedi out there, and there are bounty hunters looking for them. One shot from a bounty hunter can kill a jedi. But only from a bounty hunter. A jedi can tear through everyone else.

If tweedle becomes a jedi and I end up becoming a bounty hunter, I might have to kill the mayor of my city. OR I might protect him because hes my mayor and he gave me a house and 2 thousand 1 hundred dollars one time.

BUT one thing is for certain. I have 22k, so Im going to have a totaly rad spacebike soon.

 

[EpicZero]

This is me posing next to a tree on Dantooine.

The hot alien space chick i want to have space babies with. I need a girl that I can train.

The SAME hot alien space chick ALMOST NAKED.

And last but not least my new totaly awesome swoop bike. Thanx for those who were silently rooting me on during my quest. Bricktop is pictured next to me. Hes the same race as darth maul but even more bad ass.

I got the bike today from a guy named Zao in Bestine for a cool 23k. I was looking for one out in the Bestine spaceport and was just about to leave when he asked me if I wanted to buy one. And now, as you can see, I am Easy Rider.

Today after getting the bike, I zoomed across the desert to tweedleville and met up with Bricktop. I was a blur to those I passed. When I got there, Bricktop was in the middle of sponsoring a few new citizens to help our city grow. He has to sponsor them, and the mayor has to approve them before they become Ghosts. I just stuck around and let him do his thing, then we went off hunting on our motorcycles. I think BT is like the official recruiter of our guild/city. Anyways, he has some really cool armor on. I want that armor. Its all black and looks menacing. I asked him how much he bought it for and he said 120,000 dollars. I need to start saving. Im not gonna buy the helmet for it though, cause it looks retarded. Ill get a screenshot of it sometime.

 

[EpicZero]

As I roam aimlessly around Tatooine, I keep finding new stuff to do. Its a really big planet, but there are many tourist attractions to see.

I took a trip to Obiwan Kenobis old home. I tried to go inside, but for some reason I got kicked out. What a hermit.

I then made my way across the desert and found R2D2 and c3po's escape pod from the original star wars movie.

Once a came across the pit of the mighty sartlac, I got off my bike and tried to get a closer look...

After all, this is the place where the legendary Bounty Hunter Boba Fett meets his maker (although it is never confirmed he actually dies...) But I wanted to pay my respects anyway. I will one day be a bounty hunter just like him, once i master the scout and marksmen professions.

As I went down on one knee and bowwed my head, the sarlac at the bottom of the pit burped poisen into the air, poisoning me, and I imediately died. Fucking Sarlacs.

After regenerating, and still dreaming of my call in life to become a bounty hunter (some day), I knew there was only one place on Tatooine that I should be. And its better to go there now and get to know my future kind then to wait till I am ready...

Jabba's Palace.

I walk in just like Luke does in Return of the Jedi. I am the man. I pass one of those hog looking guys. I walk right up to the gaurd at the door.

Eason: (firmly)I will see Jabba, NOW.
Gaurd: Who do you think you are? Jabba doesnt his time with a pathetic creature like you. Leave before you regret it.
Eason: Ok, no problem.

I got kicked out by the gaurd. Time to find something else to do.

I rode to Bestine, I hitched a ride on the Bestine starport shuttle to the planet of Naboo to finaly pick up that cloak I won off the SWGalaxies version of EBAY(called the Bazaar). When I got there, I retrieved my cloak and put it on, and imediately felt it was a perfect fit. I wanted a black one, or a camo one, but this green one is pretty cool looking.

After returning to Bestine on Tatooine. I get a call. Bricktop and Taros, both in the ghost guild, are fist fighting on top of the guildhall. The Star Wars version of FightClub had begun.

I got my ass kicked.

In front of Okivu too. I looked like such a spacewuss. I really like this chick. After the fight, I got back up and Taros invited me to his place so he could heal me. Taros is a med student. It helps him learn medical science when he heals people so naturaly it works out for both of us. Okivu arrived too, and wanted to heal my mind...

WITH A LAPDANCE.

Once my wounds were healed and my mind..."relieved", I seriously felt I had grown up. I noticed my hair had grown out past shoulder length. I started to grow hair on my chest and in "other" places. In reality Taros is a barber, and changed my hairstyle to something cooler to reflect my new choice in clothing. This also helps him build his tayloring skills while it makes me look more like a badass.

I headed off with the rest of the tribe on a fieldtrip to the planet LOK for some hunting to earn cash. I even led the group in battle, my first time, directing fire and calling the shots. Thats when it hit me.

I am no longer a boy...

Ive had a lapdance, and demand to be respected.

 

[EpicZero]

Being a Star Wars Galxies badass has many perks. But it also has some downsides. Space is lonely. Today after smoking a bunch of space weed to escape my lonleyness, I went to the Bazaar and found a Pet. A Dewback to be exact. A dewback is kinda like a Killer Space Hippo. Pets can fight with you and follow you and you can teach it all sorts of stuff and even ride it. I cant teach my pet anything right now...so it just kinda stands around and goes "ror?". I dont know what I was thinking. I did think of a name though.

I think Ill call him "Dewbie"

(The red thing in the background is the Star Wars EBAY machine)

 

[EpicZero]

I have only had Dewbie for a day and already he has become my best star wars videogame friend ever. Hes just a baby so he likes to growl at everything. I have already taught him how to follow me, I say "Dewbie, Follow." and he just runs right up beside me as I walk. I have also taught him how to attack other creatures using a similar command ("Dewbie, Attack!") and Dewbie excitedly attacks its target but always gets incapacitated do to his inexperiance. Or maybe hes been watching me lose fights a little too often. He will get better in time, just like I will. He will become the best Dewback he can be, just like I will become the best Bounty Hunter I can be. I only have one reservation about little Dewbie the killer space hippo...

Ive only had him a day and hes almost twice as large as he was yesterday. How big will he get?

after showing Dewbie his new home("stay, dewbie"), I set off and came across a pack of killer frogs. Gubbers to be exact. I still remember them kicking my ass on my first day on Tatooine. I wanted revenge, and quickly armed my D17 Carbine automatic rifle. I would slaughter them all and teach them a lesson. Untill I saw who was with them. A baby. A BABY FROG. I lowered my gun and wondered if there was a better way to get back at these things. A perfect revenge. Not only am I a man to be feared and respected, I have a cold...cold heart.

I stole the baby.

I stole him and im gonna call him Goober. The agony of a stolen baby is much worse than death for any mother. Goober calls ME mom now you stupid frogs! Thats what you get for killing me when I just got the game and didnt know what the fuck I was doing! You just had a baby and I guess you just didnt know what you were doing letting him play outside a little to far from your nest. Ohh the irony. (Im going to go to hell for this arent I...)

Just then I get a call from Kela, an expert marksman in the Ghosts guild.

Kela - "Eason, get to Dantooine mining outpost now, I need your help on this hunt."
Me- What hunt?
(I really didnt want to hunt at the moment.)

Kela- "A DARK JEDI HUNT."

Me - "Ill be there in 10 minutes."

I honestly cant take on a jedi, be him a non player computer controlled jedi, or a real player who has mastered the Jedi profession. But Ive also never seen one in real life, nor fought one, and I thought it might be pretty cool to get "Force Choked" like darth vader does to those admirals in Star Wars 4.

As I arrive I notice there is one thing wrong with our party. Something massively wrong actually. There were only 5 of us. None of which were medics to heal us. Not like there would be anything left of us to heal after this.

Its suicide really. Kela explained it all. There is a good Jedi in near a waterfall somewhere. He has problems with these bad force users. The bad force users are gaurding a dark jedi with 70,000 life, which, to compare, is 70 times any single person in our group. And that is only THE BEST person in the group. I dont even have 500 max life. Let alone, a good solid hit from an expert player takes 1000 damage to a creatures life. Thats if they dont have armor on or dont have special imunities to gunfire, which most likely, these dark jedi do. My gun does about 200 damage. The thought of an annoying fly on the shoulder of a darkjedi comes to mind. But honestly I didnt care. Ive never seen a jedi, Ive never fought one, and someday I will have to hunt them down. Know thy enemy and know thyself. Kick ass. Take names. Steal Babies whenever possble.

I get there and we travel to a cave hidden behind a huge waterfall.

The cave was dark, hard to see so I had to turn on my space flashlight. I was honestly expecting the worst, even though we were going to see this good Jedi Non player Character (NPC or basicly a computer controlled jedi) to get the DL on where this dark jedi master was and his dark jedi gaurdians.

Eventually we navigated our way through the cave and came across the good jedi's hut.

Inside I couldnt help but snap a picture of me with the Jedi NPC.

Kela talks to him and gets the location of where our future burrial site will be, i mean- ...where the bad people are. And we leave the cave and head off into a deep forest. Kela stops us in the middle of the fucking forest and low and behold I saw one. ONE OF SIX. I examined it in my little window to see what it looked like:

Apparently, as kela explained, we might be able to handle the gaurds one at a time, werepig (a member of our group) is an expert sniper, and can kill things from far away without being detected. Since the gaurds have much less life then the main badguy does, its possible to just pick them off from afar one by one and then throw ourselves into battle with the dark jedi master who is the real target as Kela explained further because IF, by chance we defeat this master, if you loot his corpse you might get a Jedi Holocron, which is an item that basicly tells you how to pursue the Jedi Profession. Its worth a lot of money because people need these to find out what skills to master in order to become a jedi and everyone wants to be a jedi.
Kela tells us he is gonna get a closer look and begins to step forward, then **"EGHKHGH!!!"

Kela drops to the ground flat on his back unconcious. He got hit with the force and imediately knocked out. one hit. Werepig goes in with his sniper rifle and begins to take one out. He actually killed one. The rest never attacked. We CAN pick off the gaurds from afar. It was actually pretty boring, I wanted to do some fighting, and standing around watching someone snipe a jedi is not as cool as Charging in, gun pounding away and then getting cut in half by a lightsaber.

After the second of six dark jedi gaurdians got sniped, I got a reallife call on my real life cell phone. I had a real life meeting I was supposed to be at 30 minutes ago in Manhatten. I logged off, and sadly knew my fight with a jedi would have to come another time. I wish there was a cool end to this adventure, but there isnt. I was angry at forgetting about the meeting, and also that I couldnt stay and get my head chopped off by a lightsaber. I wont forget about this though. Trust me on that.

Hey, I didnt forget about those frogs now did I?

 

[EpicZero]

Dewbie has grown to be a HUGE hippo. And he still gets killed ALL THE TIME. FUCKIN HIPPO.

My new pet frog "Goober" is still about the same size. I like to torture him by running really fast and making him have to hop after me to keep up. Im sure he hates this, which is the whole point.

Yesterday I went to a scary planet called Darthmir on a recon mission with a few of my Ghost friends. Luckily I had my friends with me as the planet is full of mobs of dangerous creatures, so full that anyone going across the planet alone is surely asking for THERE DOOM. One of the worst of these creatures is a creature called The Racor, which is the same huge thing that Luke skywalker fought in Jabbas palace's basement in Return of the Jedi. By the way, they travel in PACKS, which is AWESOME and also... SCARY up close.

While these rancors are cool , that is not our mission...OUR mission was to scout the "Nightsister Death and Inslavement Camp for Americans", or so my European friends call it. Then we would report back to the guild what we saw and what foreseable problems we might encounter when we raid the cave next week. Thats it, no fighting. We should be ok if we dont attack them first.

We come out of a thick foggy forest and see our objective.

Doesnt look too much like a slave camp from this distance...
So we went on in for a closer look.

These sistas be freaks. Yo, I gots dis picture took wit'm dawg.

Wierd shit was abound as soon as we entered the enslavement camp/or nightsista CRIB. Usually when I see bad guys on my small badguy scanner about no more than 5 red bleeps have ever shown up because obviously only 5 badguys are ever around at one time.

Dat too many ho's for one dawg yo.

As we ran deeper into the cave, we made sure to keep our distance from the sisters and look "casual"

If you consider running and screaming like a little girl "casual"

Inside the cave, and the deeper we went, the harder it was to escape the reality of what was around us. We passed poor hungry slave after poor hungry slave. This was a big cave and I was felt nausious every time I passed a slave. In my head I kept hearing "SLAVECAMP FOR AMERICANS" over and over. I watched each group of slaves we passed more closely than the one before and began to think that surely slaves dont exist. Im sure I wont end up a slave. My pet star wars frog is a slave...im not a slave. This isnt real. There is no holocaust for Americans in star wars. These are just actors.

I passed another group of slaves and you know...this sounds stupid...but for a second...in the middle of this group I thought I saw myself....

Naa...just seeing things I guess.

We finally made it to the bottom of the cave, saw the main bad guy, and I think all of us wanted to leave as quickly as possible before any "problems" occur. We made (ran screaming) our way back(dontlookattheslavesdontlookattheslaves) all the way to the entrance of the cave, and just as we were leaving, a rival guild (who we didnt know) was making a raid on the sistas camp. We dicided to stay and watch. there were about 20 members of there team and like I was assured time and time again, if we keep our distance and watch, all hell wont break loose.

They started out fine. They made it 50 feet into the cave and seemed to be doing ok. We stayed back and watched from a distance, none of us were near the action so we were safe. Then a problem occured. someone on our team got hit with a force choke from one of these nightsisterchicks and before I knew what was happening, we were fighting (screaming like girls) for our lives to exit the cave. We had to make the 50 feet back to the entrance, which seemed impossible at first but we slowly made our way one step at a time, and the sisters around this part all got taken care of (by us and this NOW 7 person group) They lost 13 members within the first minute of trying to take the cave. Next week will be crazy if we think we have any shot of doing better. At least im out of the cave, and safe(r). I had to log off and go to UCB, so I said bye to my friends, logged off, and thought nothing of it. When I got back online this morning thinking I would log in and be on my safe home planet of tatooine like I usually am, I noticed a problem. I wasn't ON Tatooine. I logged off on Dathomir, which means ive got a BIG problem.

As I stand all alone with my non american friends no where to be found, and only 2000 spacebucks to get home(which isn't enough), I began to cry like a little baby...(that I stole.)

"A Slave camp for AMERICANS...Americans...Americans...." won't stop echoing inside my mind.

 

[EpicZero]

I was a mess. after crying for 2 seconds, I pulled myself together. I have to be better than this if I am to become a bounty hunter. I need to use this as a learning situation because, when I become a bounty hunter, this could very well happen again. I asked myself...

"what would boba fett do?"

Obviously, Boba fett would find the nearest Rancor Beast and chop its head off out of frustration. But AFTER THAT, he also would check his emergency contacts to see if they are online and could loan him some money for a shuttle ticket. After contemplating the first option, I chose the second and checked my Official star wars cellphone. No luck, nobody I knew was online. I masked my sent so that any stray animals in the area wouldnt be able to detect me and try to front in my moment of weakness.

Clearly, I needed about 1000 spacebucks more in order to get home. How could I get that? I cant kill anything on my own on this planet yet, im not powerfull enough(BUT I WILL BE). What would Boba Fett do?

It was so obvious. I really couldnt believe I had wasted my time thinking about it this long.

OBVIOUSLY, BOBA FETT WOULD DESIGN AND MAKE BLACK LONGSLEEVE SHIRTS AND SELL THEM ON EBAY FOR CASH.

The ebay machine was in the rebel outpost on the other side of the planet, only one of 2 civilian settlments, the other being an Imperial Science Outpost While I still havent officially declared a side in the war between the Rebellion and the Empire, most of my friends have. Rebel trading outpost it is.

In the dark of night I am like a space ninja. My scent, masked. My cloak, DARK GREEN. My face, a shadow. My spacebike, WICKED AWESOME.

I make it to the outpost in one piece. Quickly I open my star wars bag of holding/inventory screen and I take out my shirtmaking kit. Then I began to sew. I sew like a man with a vengance. one shirt DONE. 2 shirts DONE. 3 SHIRTS... ITS OVER. I get to the machine. I load in the shirts. SELL shirt. SELL shirt. SELL shirt.

Then all is quiet, and I go to bed. I woke up in the morning and check my email. I have sold all 3 black shirts for 699 a piece(which is a total ripoff by star wars Galaxies standards). I could now afford a ticket home thanks to my economical ingenuity and blitzkrieg sewing dexterity. I buy a ticket on the spaceshuttle and Im back home, all of 20 minutes later.

As I havent chosen a side yet, and most of my friends are rebels, I should become one too. I took a trip to anchorhead and walked up to the nearest Rebel recruiter.

ME- I demand to be a rebel.
Rebel Recruiter- You cannot join the rebelion untill you have 200 rebelion points.
Me - aww, cmon dude...
Rebel Recruiter- You cannot join the rebelion untill you have 200 rebelion points.
Me - fine..son of a BITCH!!!

This basicly meant I have to be a rebelion delivery boy and run 20 delieveries for various people in town. It was a boring task. Thats why I kept this paragraph short. It was LAME. So I did the 20 stupid lame delieveries. So now, I am now a covert member of the rebel alliance. What types of benifits do I get for choosing this side? I dont know yet. I can fight emperial players now and loot there stuff. Other than that, we shall see.

I hitched a ride back to tweedleville, to pay my taxes on my house. As always, I flew right through the small emperial base along my way, and noticed my life depleting. Someone was shooting at me. I turned around to see who could be firing at me when I noticed 15 storm troopers and an ATST Walker(Giant 2 legged, 2 story high killer robot) all in hot persuit. I guess I cant fly through that base anymore. Oh well. I hit my accelerator and left them in the dust. I cant believe they fired at me. Im gonna get those guys back one day. I totaly will. That wasnt cool, AND THEY KNOW MY SECRET.

Once back home, I went to my house and payed my taxes. Then, I headed to the town hall to vote for the, STILL, only mayor running in the weekly, democratic, one party-elections:Tweedle.

As I have mentioned in entries before, I have strong suspicians that tweedle, my mayor, is trying to secretly become a Jedi. Most people dont talk like to talk about it because the empire is hiring real player bounty hunters to hunt all jedi down and kill them. I have no Idea how close he is to this goal of becoming a jedi. But today, I got another piece of the puzzle.

Tweedle owns a robot that sells his merchandise. Most of it is usually stuff you can find anywhere, he usually sells things for 3k and below. AT least all his general misc. stuff. But he has always had 2 Jedi holocrons (Holocrons tell you what skills you need to learn in order to become a jedi) in his machine selling for 220,000 spacebucks a piece. When I checked it today, there was only one left.

Where did it go? He could have sold it, but I dont think he did. I think he actually is now USING it. When I saw him today, I totaly got another wicked awesome clue. Everytime Tweeds name pops over his head, his current master skill does too(mine says novice marksmen). Tweedle's skill has always said "novice politician". Now it says: "Novice Medic". I believe, that he completed the jedi holocron he was secretly on and moved on to the next(one of the 2 he was selling). A person who wants to be a jedi must meet the proffession/skill requirements of a total of 4 holocrons, in order to become a Jedi Aprentice(Thus, becoming a moving target to bounty hunters everywhere).

Im still very torn on the issue. Will I hunt down and kill my mayor, some day, for a lot of money? Or will i be a freakin retard and protect him from other bounty hunters trying to kill him? I still wonder, if that day comes, which side I will choose. I hear the head of a Jedi goes for a lot of money.

A LOT OF MONEY.

 

[EpicZero]

I...I..killed...I KILLED A MAN TODAY.

Me and my guild met with a rebel contact in the city of Mos Eisley on Tatooine. The coordinator needed my secret wicked ninja covert operations skills in order to complete a very dangerous and highly important mission for the rebel alliance.

I, Eason, was to travel with my friend and guildmate Okaw to the moon of Endor where a highly elaborate smuggling operation of an important mineral resource was in progress. (Okaw had the same mission) The plan was simple. I find this smuggler guy in the middle of the forest who knows where the caravan full of rare minerals is is. I tell him i work for jababalbalbla he thinks im one of them and then gives me the coordinates of the caravan. I then go to the caravan and take the minerals from them or something. I didnt care. Me and my Attention Defecit Disorder wanted to go to endor. Okaw and I decided we would do my mission first, then I would help him with his.

I load up on my trusty bike and set off north through the legendary woods that Luke and leia rode through in Return of the Jedi. I wove through trees at hyperfast speed, I tried to turn my bike sideways to go through 2 trees but it wouldnt let me so I just ran headfirst into them at 100 miles per hour. Eventually I and Okaw made it through the "hard trees not meant for running into" all the way to my contact.

I found the guy and circled around him once for intimidation purposes. I hopped off my bike and walked strait up to him.

Me - "Excuse me, Im definitely not working for the rebel Alliance but I want to talk to you about some smuggling operation."
Him - "who do you work for?"

Damn it. What was I supposed to say? The Rebel leader guy told me and i cant remember. I was given several options. Jabba, Valarian, and 2 others that didnt seem believable. Maybe it was Valarian...

Me- Dont be silly, I work for Valarian. heh heh heh...
This Guy - right...What is your business here...?

Im not sure that worked. I was given a few more options about what i was there for. Option 1. Rare resource hunted for by the rebels or Option 2. Caravan. I chose Option1. rare resource hunted by the rebels since it was cool sounding.

This guy - "right, well....YOU CANT FOOL ME, YOU REBEL SCUM!!!"

Just then THIS GUY pulls out a pistol and starts firing right at me. Okaw just stood there stunned. I didnt know what to do either. SO I took out my pistol and started firing back. So me and THIS GUY, are having a gunbattle with eachother at point blank range.

Then the oddest thing happened. He dropped to one knee, eyes stairing into the void of space infront of him...then he just ploped over. I was stunned. Okaw was definitely stunned. This wasnt supposed to happen.

Me - "hey dude...?"
THIS GUY - " ...."
Me - " dude?"
THIS GUY" "....."
Me - "oh come on man, wake up, you gotta tell me where this caravan is...hey? dude?"
THIS GUY: "...."

I killed my contact.

Okaw panics and sends a message to the rest of the guild hunting team.

Okaw: Eason killed his contact.
Me: SHH!!! Okaw lets just do your mission now since mines ...dead.

Okaw agreed and we made our way to his contact. Obviously, Okaw had to show off and get all the questions right the first time through, and we then proceded on our way to his caravan target. 10 minutes later, we got there, and we found 6 men and 2 flying cars in a small clearing. Okaw walks up to them and talks for a while, and eventually he comes back over to me.

Okaw - ok im done. Back to tatooine. Lets go.
Me - No. Im gonna stay right here.
Okaw - What are you doing?
Me -Im gonna stay here and take these 6 guys out. By myself. You go on ahead.
Okaw - Thats not part of the mission, besides my mission is done. lets go.
Me - Go.
Okaw -But-
Me - GO!

Okaw left. I was all alone. 6 caravan employees and me. and my pistol.
I took 3 shots to the chest before i dropped to the ground.
Definitely not one of the smartest ideas Ive ever had...but it was still pretty cool.

 

[EpicZero]

Today I met a dark and mysterious stranger.

His name was Cur J'ay. Cur J'ay had HUGE horns coming out of his head. His name reminds me of a good friend I have in real life named Curtis Gwinn, and he reminds me of him in very small ways, but frankly, this is definitely not the Curtis I know, because its quite obvious that the Curtis I know doesnt have totaly wicked horns piercing through his skull.

Me and CurJ'ay hit it off pretty well. We met in tweedleville (randomly I say) and he seemed quite new to outerspace and Tatooine, so I showed him around my town and gave him a tour of my house. Once inside my home, I offered him some brand new clothes, to which I custum made for him. Dark and mysteriously, Cur J'ay asked that these clothes be in all black. With fear out of Cur J'ay's haunting INTIMIDATION, I met this request. He looked very poor, and I gave him all my money to help him get a head start on buying stuff.

I know a diamond in the rough when I see one. While Cur J'ay may be new to the Star Wars Galaxy (of DANGER), he definitely seems to have a sence of the ways of all things totaly cool, the perfect ingrediant in any wicked rad ninja-like person in the entire Galaxy.

At one point during our meeting he exclaimed, "HOLY CRAP! DID YOU SEE THAT HOT SPACE CHICK WHO JUST RAN BYE??!!!"

It was now clear. His training would need to start IMEDIATELY.

Quickly, I gathered my scout supplies and favorite comicbooks (about space), and we hastely walked across the hot Tatooine desert, to the city of Bestine where his training would begin. On a bike it is a 3 minute ride, walking it takes 10 minutes.

Once we arrived at the Bestine courtyard 10 minutes later, I found a marksmen trainer to teach him the basics of "MURDER". His aquizition of the basics of MURDER was, shockingly, almost instantanious.

Then I took him to the Scout trainer, to learn the basics of "SURVIVAL".

And lastly, to the Bestine Medical Facilty to find a master docter to train him in the basics of healing "BATTLESCARS".

MURDER. SURVIVAL. BATTLESCARS.

We left Bestine for some field training, out in the middle of the desert, to sharpen his new skills. We fought mostly very tiny, but EVIL, frogs and some small Beetles. In a long carefull crafted speech which took 2 minutes, I told him everything I knew.

Yes, its true, along the way we were both raped (and knocked unconcious) by some raging bobcat lizard things once, but we both quickly ran the fuck out of there as soon as we woke up. In fact, I actually would prefer not to talk about that anymore.

We returned to Bestine for some final teachings. I told Cur J'ay I would talk to my guildmaster and mayor about initiating him into the guild and obtaining a residancy license to live in Tweedleville. I also told him his best bet at earning some money would be to hike to the Rebel controlled city of Anchorhead and join some hunting groups to earn quick XP and cash. If he earned 22k, he would be able to buy a rad SpaceBike, just like the one I have, and we could ride around all day on these bikes and pick up hot SPACEWHORES. I wished him luck, said goodbye, and logged off to go to UCB theater where i would tech for Andy Roccos show.

When I arrived at UCB theater, Curtis Gwinn was there, who is neather horned, dark, nor mysterious.

When I came home and logged back in, I noticed I had mail and I recieved mysterious SPACE postcard from Anchorhead. It was also very dark. Here is what it said...
-----------------------------------
Dear Eason!

Thanx for the clothes money, and the training. I did as you said and went to Anchorhead for some guildhunts. For the first few hunting groups I joined, I kept my mouth shut and pretended it wasnt my first time hunting. Then I chose to start my own group by shouting out a message "FORMING HUNTING GROUP ON THER BRIDGE!!!" to the entire town and 20 very EXPERIANCED looking people showed up!!! I really wasnt sure what I was doing and didnt want them to know so I said "Everyone FOLLOW ME to the mission terminals to select your missions! and I headed towards my destination.

Everyone just stood on the bridge. When I looked back to see why they were still standing there, one of my group members said:

"...where are you going?? the mission terminals are this way...".

I then went back (in the right direction this time) and before long I was leading this 20 person group on our way to hunt and earn money. It was cool. During the middle of the grouphunt, we stopped after completing a mission, and I shouted to the group "OK 2 missions down, who has the next closest mission?" and it seemed like mine was closest so I said "Ok EVERYONE follow me!" and proceded to mistakenly lead everyone in the wrong direction again, back into town. Everyone again asked me what I was doing, so I ran away. Good times my friend.

mysteriously,
Cur J'ay
------------------------------------

I wish Curtis Gwinn had lots of good stories like Cur J'ay.

 

[EpicZero]

Every step I take. Every move I make.
Every single day. Every time I pray.

I'll be missing you.

​

 

[EpicZero]

Its hard for me to talk about this without...sniff...being dramatic and stuff.

Dewbie...as you may or may not know, is gone. I know in my heart, that he is in that totaly awesome place that space hippos go. Sadly I have no idea where that totaly awesome place is but it sounds so awesome*CRY.

I guess this had to happen. Its my fault. I wasnt good enough. I didnt feed him EVER. I spent a lot of my time hanging with this cool guy named Cur J'ay and totaly forgot about him. When I went to check on him cause the little guy was just growing so freakin fast, he wouldnt even come out of his cage. I couldnt make him apear (out of thin air) like usual when ever I take him out of my inventory screen. When I tried it said: "You lack the skill to tame this creature". He had gotten too big and wild and completely wicked awesome.

I was then given 2 options.

Option 1 Let the creature go free and totaly awesome Option 2: Destroy this creature.

Obviously I want my dewbie to go free...

SO I CLICKED TOTALY AWESOME OPTION 2: DESTROY THIS CREATURE..."ACCIDENTALY".

Trying to move on with life (god damn you LIFE), I met up with Cur J'ay in Anchorhead. Cur J'ay mysteriously kept trying to cheer me up. He coaxed me into going into the cantina for a drink and "Entertainment". I really didnt want to dance, but Cur J'ay completely knew all the hippest moves in the galaxy.

I couldn't Believe it! Cur J'ay was a CHICK MAGNET. All these SPACEwhores started to dance with him. He was the space equivalent of a WALKING SOUL TRAIN. As shockingly DARK and MYSTERIOUS as this was, I really didnt want to watch Cur J'ay get all the whores to himself. And I also wanted my pain to go away.

After my constant badgering of Cur J'ay to quit doing "THE LATTER" to that spaceWHORE, we left and went outside.

("The Latter", a hip Star Wars dance move, is the galactic equivalent of "The Running Man", and mimics climbing up and down a latter while in place(WHICH IS RAD). And "The Ladies" find it irresistable)

Out in the breeze of the sunny, Anchorhead Courtyard, I noticed Cur J'ay had done pretty well for himself. He had gotten a better long range rifle, and he had this awesome gunslingers jacket on. He told me how he had a medium sized house on Naboo, was inducted into the ghost guild (and recieved ANOTHER smaller house) and also got some guy to give him 25k just cause he was new. Anyway, I had this feeling inside. The GALAXY took away my favorite pet.

SO I NEED TO TAKE PEOPLE AWAY FROM THE GALAXY.

So people died.

Actually, 2 people died SO IT WAS TOTALY SWEET.

They were both imperials, so I had recieved a "Temporary Enemy Flag" which means that because I shot these imperial computer controlled guys, any ACTUALLY REAL imperial player in the game who is overt can shoot and kill me if they wanted to, but only for a short span of time(untill my flag wheres off). Im going back to Anchorhead, A rebel controlled town, so Imperials probably wont be around. I was safe.

Cur J'ay and I got a few more rebel missions, and got on our Bikes Just as we were flying out of town my Bike caught on fire. OH SHIT DAWG!!!

Then I was on fire!!! OH SHIT! THIS IS SO AWESOME!! (gotta keep riding though... =) )

Then my bike BLEW UP AND I FLEW OFF IT!!!!!!!!! MAN THAT TOTALY RULED!!!!.

My Bike must have blew up from lack of maintenace.I was laying dazed on the ground then all the sudden this Imperial Player comes up and KILLS ME WHILE IM LAYING THERE HELPLESS TO DEFEND MYSELF.

Confused by all this cool stuff happening and then this guy killing me, it finaly hit me what really happened. I was shot off my bike and then burnt to a crisp then killed by this imperial guy who was picking fights in the city. How could that have happened? I never was overt. Then I remembered. I Still had my flag thing which tells all imperials I am a rebel (from my last mission), so any imperial can kill me if they wanted to. I had forgot.

GOD DAMN I WAS PISSED. when I got out of the cloning facility he came up and laughed at me. But since I died, he could no longer shoot me because my temporary enemy flag thing wore off. Obviously Curtis...I mean Cur J'ay was mysteriously standing there as always trying to figure out what was going on. Since he couldnt kill me anymore, I decided to use this moment to talk some trash.

me- "HEY WHORE"
Mr Henky - "HAHAHA..what?"
me-(this is to be said cooly and calmly and like a bad ass)

"...WATCH YOUR BACK CHRISTMAS POO..."

Thats right...Let me tell you, he got so scared and intimidated that he RAN AWAY (to go shoot more rebels in the city).

Cur J'ay decided to continue the rebel missions (OUTSIDE THE CITY) while I decided to drop by the cantina to get healed by this hot chick.

We talked about life. I told her about Dewbie. I also told her that I need to get Armor soon so I have a better chance of survival with "Imps" as we call them. And she told me about how Mr. Henky used a flamethrower thing, which is an extremely cheap tactic(thats why it only lasted 3 seconds before i died), and the next time the game gets updated he wont be able to use that anymore cause the developers are gonna take it out cause its unfair. I told her she was AWESOME and HOT (well...I was gonna tell her but I didnt) and she rewarded me with some hot sexy SPACE dancing. I hope she likes babies.

Please Note: I am keeping a list of all things in the galaxy that are LAME and MR. Henky is now totaly on the top of that list. Just give me time. I will hunt him down like a dog that hunts things.

 

[EpicZero]

 

[EpicZero]

The saga continues!

Please Click HERE to move on to "GALAXIES II: THE GALAXY STRIKES BACK" the sequal to this journal.