Starring in an action movie with
Luke Perry is gay enough, but
Alexis Arquette, the swishy brother of celebrity waste of oxygen,
David Arquette, just announced his new A & E reality show. It will chronicle his sex change operation (which he may or may not go through with... huh?). It will be called
Alexis Are-Cut. Congrats, David! You are no longer the Arquette family's biggest embarassment! Still, though, please retire.
The Yankees lost Game 5 last night to the Angels. We just didn't bring it. I'm sure
Rodriguez,
Matsui and
Sheffield are beating themselves up right about now. As well they should. But if Steinbrenner fires Torre, I will be pissed. Next season, we will be Brown-less. Possibly Williams-less. We'll have Small. Hopefully we'll pick up a pitcher or two. In the meantime,
go White Sox!
According to the New York Post poll, the #1 reason that "a first date will also be a last date" is
body odor (59%). #2 is
talking on a cellphone (46%). #3 is
rudeness to wait staff (41%). #4 is
shitting pants (36%). #5 is
fisting baby (22%).
Hey! I just realized!
Our subway system didn't blow up this weekend! Woot!
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter (R-Pa) said something the other day that made my jaw drop. He said that
Harriet Miers (Bush's credential-less Supreme Court nominee faced
"one of the toughest lynch mobs ever assembled in Washington, D.C. - and we assemble some tough lynch mobs."
Classy, no?
Billy Joel used to drink furniture polish. Also classy.
Pacifiers may prevent SIDS. Interesting.
Britney Spears has removed her bra. From eBay. Despite the fact that it had over $60,000 in bids. And that this was her way of fundraising for Katrina victims. It appears that Britney was concerned that
"some of you might be confusing this bra with something that it's not." Britney, just because you sometimes mistook a wigger gold-digger (goldwigger?) for the man of your dreams doesn't mean that the rest of us are retarded.
The warehouse that contained all of
Aardman Animations' archives (old sets, props, models, etc) was destroyed by fire yesterday. All the
Chicken Run and
Wallace and Gromit stuff (from their pre-Were-Rabbit shorts) is forever gone. Please go see
The Curse of the Were-Rabbit ASAP. Help out the world's last great non-computer animation company. And bring a nice bit of cheese.
In
Bridgeport, Connecticut, a woman rushed to the hospital with her nephew after he was scalded by soup. She's a hero, right? Not as such. Police at the hospital wrote her up for:
*failing to obey several traffic lights and stop signs
*engaging police in pursuit
*transporting a child younger than 4 without using a restraint system
*two counts of risk of injury to a minor
And not only that, but when she got home,
the soup was ice cold.
Boy George faces up to 15 years in prison. Proving wrong the millions who swore he couldn't get arrested in this town. See, he called the cops to his apartment claiming he had been burgled. Except he hadn't. And the cops that arrived to hear his complaint noticed a bag of cocaine next to his computer. How many times do I have to remind you people?
If you call the police and ask them to come to your home, hide your cocaine first. Jeez.
Marilyn Manson is releasing his own fragrance. It smells like ennui and rubbers. I'm assuming.
Paris Hilton is so insultingly stupid, she doesn't even understand when she's being insulted. Her ex-fiancee (Paris Lastis) told her that she could keep her engagement ring despite their engagement being called off.
"Paris says I can keep the engagement ring. He says I earned it." Paris, honey? He just called you a whore. In private. But you shared it with the world. And for that, you have our undying gratitude. Now, please die a slow and painful death.
Waiting is a new comedy that everyone seems to not like very much. Writer/director
Rob McKittrick posted a clip of himself getting into a big on-set fight with
Luis Guzman on his blog. He claimed that it was his way of getting back at Guzman who had badmouthed him in the press. But guess what? It was all a ruse! They were just trying to get more asses in seats! And, based on its box office receipts, it looks like they've got a lot more
Waiting to do before that happens.
The more weight
Star Jones loses, the uglier she gets. Seriously.
Louis Nye is dead. Goodspeed, Louis.
One last thing. I forgot about this yesterday, but just remembered. I think it's funny. Maybe you will, too. After work yesterday, I got on the C train to go home. At 72nd Street, a haggard-looking elderly Hispanic lady asked me "Ees diss dee E?" and I replied "C." She said "gracias" and started to get on. I immediately realized what was happening and I said "No no! No E, C!" but I said C in that crazy Spanish way. She leapt off just as the doors were closing.
Well,
I thought it was funny anyway.
Happy Tuesday!
