Encyclopedia in the Flesh

[Diana]

Dear Improvisors,

Welcome to my Encyclopedia in the Flesh. In it you will find articles on an array of topics, arranged alphabetically. This is very much like Bartleby's or Britannica, with the following differences:

1) You are very unlikely to find topics you are looking for, and there will be very few topics overall.
2) Topics will be presented emotionally, with bias. There will be factual information, but objectivity is eschewed, and the information may be wrong.
3) This encyclopedia is dedicated to improvisors. You are welcome to make use of any of the information in your scenes and exercises.
4) Improvisation topics may be included.
5) The Encyclopedia itself is a living, breathing being, and will occasionally rear its head.
6) The author will occasionally respond to reader feedback.

I hope you enjoy this reference work. I hope I enjoy it, too. I hope I don't spend too much time on it. Let's get going, then.

 

[Diana]

Aaaaaaaaah

Aaaaaaaaah

1) What you say at the doctor's office
2) What the doctor tells you to say

This word makes me nostalgic for the days when there were doctors rather than "providers." I'm sure "providers" ask you to say "aaaaaaaaah" too, only not as often.

Why "providers"? Why, why, why?

It also reminds me of kids I knew in elementary school who had their tonsils removed. That was supposed to be a status symbol. Every time you went to the doctor and said "aaaaaaaaah," you underwent the delightful risk of being told you needed to have your tonsils removed. That is, if your doctor believed in removing tonsils. Some didn't. Doctors who didn't believe in removing tonsils were decidedly unromantic.

"Aaaaaaaaaah" is a low back vowel. The "h" at the end indicates a long vowel (as opposed to a short "a!" with a guttural stop. "Aaaaaaaaah" is not to be confused with "ah," which is a relative of "ach."

 

[Diana]

Aaboe, Asger Hartvig

Aaboe, Asger Hartvig

Professor Emeritus, Mathematics and History of Science, Yale University

Ph.D., Brown University, 1957 ("On Babylonian Planetary Theories")

Books include:

Episodes from the Early History of Astronomy. Springer-Verlag 2001.

Contributions to the study of Babylonian Lunar Theory. (with Norman Hamilton). Munksgaard 1979.

Episodes from the Early History of Mathematics. Random House 1964.

 

[Diana]

Aaliyah

Aaliyah (Aaliyah Dana Haughton, January 16, 1979-August 25, 2001)

 

[Diana]

aard, aard-

aard, aard-

Dutch. Nature, of nature, of the earth.

aard: nature, disposition.
aardappel: potato (apple of the earth).
aardbei: strawberry (berry of the earth).
aarde: earth.
aardig: friendly, nice, pleasant.
aardnoot: peanut (nut of the earth).

And in English: aardvark, which comes from the Dutch "aardvarken," literally "pig of the earth."

Here's where it gets a little complicated. "Aardig" can also mean "pretty" or "intelligent," and there's speculation that the word came from two utterly separate sources: the root "aard" meaning "earth" and an older "aard" meaning "art" (from Latin "ars, artis.") Art and nature have mimicked each other once again!

 

[Diana]

abacus

abacus

Is the abacus a beautiful, wonderful thing?

It has its mystique. Fast fingers send the beads into a stream of color, and the sound resembles faraway firework, or the soft clatter of wild horses on the steppe.

So often we judge a thing not by its own merits, but by the things associated with it. The abacus evokes many images, including the former Soviet Union. Maybe some of the stores still work the same way. You would go in the store, stand in line to order your merchandise (generally no picking stuff up off the shelves), get the price. You might do this several times. Then you'd stand in line at the cashier (who used an abacus), and flip-flip-flip of the fingers, and your total was calculated, and you'd pay up and get your receipt. Then you'd stand in line at the counter again, show your receipt and finally get your items.

So, where the abacus should suggest swiftness and dexterity, it actually brings to mind the opposite for some people. Imagine this. Imagine humans as beads on an abacus. Imagine the beads moving as slowly as those lines. A clunky abacus that is!

In comparison with that, the actual abacus is graceful. The actual abacus is a beautiful, wonderful thing, in no way to blame for the clunkiness that has at times surrounded it!

 

[Diana]

Abba

Abba

Author: Come on now, Encyclopedia, we've gotta have an entry for Abba!

Encyclopedia (smoking): They're a bit too happy for my tastes.

Author: You gotta be kidding. They're happy and tuneful, but the couples divorced. Each "a" broke up with her corresponding "b." You can't complain about that being too happy.

Encyclopedia: Well, I guess you've got a point there. All right. But make it brief.

Author: Abba. One of the catchiest bands that ever existed. You don't even know that they're in your ear until you identify those tunes you know so well as "Abba." Songs like "Waterloo." "Mamma Mia." "Lay All Your Love On Me." They are beloved all over the world and have been for decades. They were one of the most popular bands in the USSR during the Brezhnev era, when the abacus was used in grocery stores and babushki spent their days in long, hapless queues. In 2001 a Swedish book on the band was translated into Russian:

Encyclopedia: Are you done?

Author: Yeah, I'm done. There's plenty of info elsewhere for the curious.

Encyclopedia: That went better than I expected.

Author: What's wrong with Abba?

Encyclopedia: Nothing. My reaction was irrational.

Author: Glad you realize that, Encyclopedia.

Encyclopedia: Me too. Irrational reactions are bad, but unconscious irrational reactions are worse.

Author: I'm with you there.

Encyclopedia: Good. I'm in the mood for company.

 

[Diana]

ablaut

ablaut

A vowel change that accompanies a change in grammatical function. For instance: ring, rang, rung.

Often imitated in literature and song. For instance, in Blueberries for Sal: "kerplink, kerplank, kerplunk" (the sound of blueberries in the pail).

Or that round:

Are you sleeping, are you sleeping,
Brother John, Brother John?
Morning bells are ringing, morning bells are ringing,
ding dang dong, ding dang dong.

Also found in Wallace Stevens's "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman:"

Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.
Take the moral law and make a nave of it
And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus,
The conscience is converted into palms,
Like windy citherns hankering for hymns.
We agree in principle. That's clear. But take
The opposing law and make a peristyle,
And from the peristyle project a masque
Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness,
Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last,
Is equally converted into palms,
Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm,
Madame, we are where we began. Allow,
Therefore, that in the planetary scene
Your disaffected flagellants, well-stuffed,
Smacking their muzzy bellies in parade,
Proud of such novelties of the sublime,
Such tink and tank and tunk-a-tunk-tunk,
May, merely may, madame, whip from themselves
A jovial hullabaloo among the spheres.
This will make widows wince. But fictive things
Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince.

 

[Diana]

Abruzzi (holy shit)

Abruzzi

A region in central Italy, largely mountainous, bordered by the Adriatic Sea to the east. It has many small towns and castles and has a growing agricultural economy. That's all very nice. But take a look at this. This is one of the most remarkable photographs I have ever seen, by Henri Cartier-Bresson. Reminds me a little of Escher. And look at the bird bending over in the front, and the girl grinning, partly hidden, facing that first woman carrying the breads. Follow the link, if you like, to see the full-size image, which gives you more detail. I wouldn't normally direct people to sources outside of this holy encyclopedia, but it's worth it in this case.

Abruzzi, Village of Aquila, 1951
© Henri Cartier-Bresson/Magnum Photos

 

[Diana]

absolute zero

absolute zero, but still shakin'!

Absolute zero is the temperature at which the atoms and molecules slow down as much as possible. They never come to a complete stop. Absolute zero is 0 degrees Kelvin, -273 degrees Celsius, and -459 degrees Fahrenheit.

It is said that in outer space (whatever they mean by THAT) the temperature is a nearly uniform 3 degrees Kelvin. Supposedly there's still a little heat left over from the Big Bang. This is called the "3 Degree Kelvin Background Radiation" and has been measured by a NASA satellite. We have refrigerators that come much closer than that to absolute zero, but absolute zero itself has not been reached by humans. The closest, I gather, is when Bose-Einstein Condensation (BEC) was created in actuality by Eric Cornell and Carl Wieman, who cooled a bunch of rubidium-87 atoms down to a few billionths of a degree above absolute zero.

Oh, this is too simplistic! Not the BEC site, but this, right here, the explanation of already simplified explanations! Fie, encyclopedia! You make me want to learn science! You make me want something a little more challenging than this! I know there's more out there! You're not lulling me with your sweet summaries! Here's an article, for starters, that goes into a little more depth and is still easy for the layperson to understand. And there's more beyond this, much more!

But there's something to be said for those simple explanations. They jump-start you. Without them, there would be no hope at all. How can you dive without a diving board? Yes, the diving board is above the water, it is not of the water, but can you dive well without its bounce? No!

 

[Diana]

absolution

absolution

God's forgiveness of sins, mediated by a priest via the confessional. Part of the sacrament of reconciliation.

For those who prefer the privacy of their own computer screens, there is Absolution-Online, not condoned by the Catholic Church, but possibly effective, who knows?

What do we know? We could throw stones at that website, but it being a virtual thing, the screen might crack, but it, the site, would not. Why crack a screen in vain? Nay, keep thy screen, scream not in the face of virtual forgiveness, and have thyself a pleasant sleep. Good night.

 

[Diana]

abyss

abyss

That which has no bottom. From Greek "a-" (without) + "bussos" (bottom, depths).

Other related Greek words: "bussothen" (from the depths), "bussometres" (sea-depth-measurer, an epithet for fisherman)

How to Make an Abyss

1) Take a shovel.
2) Find a soft spot in the earth.
3) Begin to dig.
4) Dig more until the bottom is gone. This will take a while, and it will not be easy. Keep in mind that you are making an abyss, an infinite thing.
5) Once there is no bottom, jump into the hole, with your shovel, to test for hidden bottoms below.
6) If you fall and fall endlessly, congratulations! You have made an abyss. If you land on something, the abyss is not yet complete. Repeat steps 1-6.
7) If you keep landing on things and keep repeating steps, congratulations! This endlessness of labor is in itself an abyss.
8) Have fun!

 

[Diana]

acacia

acacia

A flower. Well, a legume with flowers. It comes in many varieties.

Not to be confused with cicada, a bug, to which we skip next.

Me: But Encyclopedia, you're leaving out the whole letter B!
Encyclopedia: And? You want me to be plodding or something?
Me: No, but...
Encyclopedia: Shut up then. It's enough of a pain being an encyclopedia in the first place. All those expectations heaped on you. People think that when they open you up, they'll find whatever they want to find specifically, and that they'll find, moreover, a sweet, soporific sprinkling of subjects across the letters, a beach of knowledge with no dangerous breaches. Well a lot of encyclopedias do their best to please. But that just ain't me. I have to get by in this world, and for me that means skipping subjects. Skipping letters. Am I still an encyclopedia? Yes. A viable encyclopedia, one that can survive? No.
Me: Are you just trying to get to the end faster?
Encyclopedia: Well, that too. But I have a few things I really do want to talk about. Including cicadas.

 

[Diana]

cicada

cicada

You know it by its trilling song, if you've ever lived in a part of the world where cicadas abound. I have, in Tucson. There the trilling seems to blend with the heat. It seems the sun is singing.

Here's a definition:

"1. ) a large predominantly tree-dwelling hemipterous insect of mainly tropical regions, the male of which is noted for its high-pitched warbling whistle, produced by vibrating tambourine-like membranes on either side of the body"

Cicadas live underground for 17 years. One variety lives underground for 13 years. There's apparently nothing in between; it's 13 or 17. Then they come out, sing (the males), mate and die.

I would like to think that I still live underground, that I have yet to emerge and trill my big trill.

Cicadas are not good at defending themselves (and are clumsy at flying), but they are good at appearing in numbers. A lot of them get killed, but enough survive that they can keep on going.

It's fun being a cicada in an improv scene.

Cicada videos and sounds can be found here.

Also, in my intensive cicada research I came upon a fun little site called How Stuff Works.

 

[Diana]

C.o.r.e.

C.O.R.E.

An example of a hackneyed acronym.

Hackneyed acronyms are mentioned in the song "Petty" by Granfaloon Bus, which you can hear (it's 3.8 mb and fantastic).

C.O.R.E. can stand for:

Center for Organ Recovery and Education
Congress of Racial Equality
Committee of Ornery Rule-Enforcers
Crowd Our Residential Elevators
Clip-On Rooster Earrings
Confused Octopus Research Experts
Cognac Or Rum, Enrique?
Community Orchestra Repertoire Evaluation
Cavernous Omicron Revival Enterprise
Can Oleg Read English?
Californians Overcoming Recreation Excess
and many more.