DAY 8 - Redux

[Antny]

MEMO
Re: DAY 8: How to Take Complete Control of Your Life


On Tuesday, March 25th, my solo show DAY 8: How to Take Complete Control of Your Life will be performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre at The Chelsea Playhouse.

I am writing to inform you, however, that this is not the exact same DAY 8 that has played in that Theatre/Playhouse twice before. This is a new and improved DAY 8 - with new laughs, a new character, rethought performance aspects, old songs you may love and probably remember, and things that weren't funny enough cut and left on the floor.

This is a DAY 8 to not only see, but to write about in your personal or online journal as potentially the moment your life changed for the better. Or if that's pushing it, then perhaps on the way out, you will at least be able to turn to your compadres and say:

"That was a fine way to spend $5 and a very pleasant way to spend my time - which is more valuable to me
than any money I may ever have. For no monetary value can be put on time. Don't you agree?

Ah Time, you ungrateful bastard - always fleeting, always begging us to embrace you so that you will not
disappear into the mist of our ever-diminishing past. You vex me, Time! Do you hear me? The challenge
inherent in your nature will not go unmet! For we as citizens of this great planet refuse to allow one morsel
of you fall from our greedy, hungry mouths!

Anybody want to go to McManus?"

Please come see my show. I think you'll like it. And if you don't - I'll refund your time.

Sincerely,

Anthony King


DAY 8: HOW TO TAKE COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE
Written and Performed by Anthony King
Directed by Charlie Todd

TUESDAY, MARCH 25th
9PM (w/Liam McEneaney)
@ UCBT - Chelsea Playhouse
Call 212-366-9176 for reservations.
Click here for more information.

Look for more performances coming in April!!!

 

[Antny]

I cannot be more serious about the fact that my show is running at UCBT on Tuesday night. It is simply true. Make no bones about it. At 9pm on Tuesday night at the UCBT, my show will commence performance. If you are in the audience, that will be a special moment for both of us. One that could very well be documented in history books for later generations to read about.

Perhaps the paragraph about that moment will be situated on p.288 of the textbook, pages and pages after the Vietnam War and discussion of the Clinton Presidency, but before the entries documenting events yet to happen in our lifetimes.

That's something to ponder, isn't it? Our present is someone else's history. Make's it all seem less important somehow.

Please come see my show. I think you'll like it. And if you don't - I'll make you feel more important than history ever could.

-Antny

 

[Antny]

There is a question that many of us have asked at various times in our lives, a question proposed for any number of reasons (but usually four). I speak, of course, of the ever-challenging question, "Is there a God?"

Of course the proper response to such an inquiry is, "Gotta go!" But sometimes this rascally question is raised and we simply cannot flee. Perhaps we are trapped in a rowboat with paltry paddles, or perhaps we are vacationing in a lush tropical resort but curiously tied to each other with invincible twine, or perhaps only seconds ago we accidentally locked eyes with Medusa. Oh Medusa! Who invited you?

The point is, I won't ask you or anyone if there is a God on Tuesday night at my show, DAY 8: How To Take Complete Control Of Your Life. So if for no other reason (and I can think of at least four), perhaps you should attend the Tuesday night performance of DAY 8 to escape, if for only a brief amount of time, the endless pursuit of religious philosophy.

Please come see my show. I think you'll like it. And if you don't, then there is no God.

-Antny

 

[Antny]

I believe Phil Collins said it best when he sang, "Tonight, tonight, tonight. Oh oh." I'd like to think he was singing about my show, DAY 8: How To Take Complete Control of Your Life since it's tonight, tonight, tonight at the UCBT @ The Chelsea Playhouse at 9pm.

But I know the truth. He wasn't singing about my show. He was singing about some long-forgotten love affair, reimagining himself in the moments of first passion and urgent lust.

But am I really the "devilish monster" some accuse me of being for attempting to usurp these lyrics for my own marketing scheme? I fully admit that the notion of twisting the words of the man who once implored Billy not to lose his number seems, at first taste, to be down right absinthian. But might I draw your attention to another notion? The notion of: Homage.

Not to brag, but I am a man who actually lives by the philosophy of "No Jacket Required." And I assure you - it's scintillating. Knowing at all times that you are living a life that P.C. would would approve of - well, it makes his untimely death all the more palatable.

Wait, is he dead?

Please come see my show. I think you'll like it. And if you don't, then Sussudio.

-Antny


DAY 8: HOW TO TAKE COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE
Written and Performed by Anthony King
Directed by Charlie Todd

TUESDAY, MARCH 25th - TONIGHT!!
9PM (w/Liam McEneaney)
@ UCBT - Chelsea Playhouse
Call 212-366-9176 for reservations.
Click here for more information.
ONLY $5!!

 

[Antny]

I'll never forget: I had just finished filling my 44 oz. Big Gulp cup with boysenberry screw-top wine when I happened to glance simultaneously upon both the stub from my most recent, cashed unemployment check and the television set, whereupon an old scary man in a sweat suit was intensely attempting to convince me that the best way to consume foodstuffs for sustained nutrition was, in fact, to juice them. And he referred to himself as: The Juice Man.

Needless to say, I was entranced. Questions raced through my head. What must life have been like for this Juice Man? As he stands on the doormat of death's door urging me to churn all my sustenance before consuming it, does he think back to his childhood (presumably as The Juice Child) with bemusement or is he full of regrets? What drove him to such extremes of liquification? Did I really already spend my entire unemployment check for this week on bad "wine"? If I offered The Juice Man a hamburger, would he run away or simply mush?

These thoughts took precious moments away from my drunken-stupor induced scribblings of what would one day become DAY 8 - How to Take Complete Control Of Your Life. And while I hate him for it, I like to think that as I perform my show (tonight at 9pm at UCBT) you can still hear the ol' Juice Man wheezing his approval, trying his darndest to get all of us - every man, woman, and child - to pay three easy installments of only $19.95 for not just a new way of eating, but a new way of life.

Please come see my show. I think you'll like it. And if you don't, then screw-top wine is on me (by which I mean, I'm drunk and I've spilt it on myself).

-Antny