Customer Service and Why People Suck

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I hate this fucking job. It's the worst goddamn job in the whole fucking world. Right now I'm being yelled at by a lady because I don't know what's wrong with her account even though we've only been talking for 30 seconds and she hasn't told me what the problem is.

The truth is, I don't give a flying fuck what's wrong with her account. So I just transferred her to our long distance department. Let them figure it out. She didn't want to make a payment so she falls under the category of SEP (Somebody Else's Problem)

I'm tired of being yelled at. I've done nothing wrong.

Here's another customer, let's see what her problem is...ahh, AOL. These people are in league with Satan. AOL charges people for use of their service through us.

On the bill it states, "Call [phone #] for billing inquiries. [my company] provides billing on behalf of eBillit. There is no connection between [my company] and eBillit. Please review all charges appearing in this section. Any question regarding these charges should be referred to the number provided for billing inquiries."

She's mad at me because I won't do the adjustment on her account. I can't. I wish I could. But I can't. So now I get yelled at. Well it's not my fault. Quit your bitching and call the people responsible. You wouldn't have wasted all this time on hold had you read and followed the instructions on your bill.

This is what I deal with. Day in and day out. People who can't or won't pay their phone bill and need me to do something about it. I'm a faceless name (for those who take the time to remember it). For the most part I'm just a thing. That's how people treat me anyway, and it sucks.

Sure, I should expect to have to deal with people who are upset. That's part of the job. And, despite what I said at the beginning, I do everything I can to assist every person I come into contact with. I actually do care. That's probably why I hate this job so much. It's hard to care about somebody when they're telling you to go fuck yourself.

That's why she got transferred. I did what I could, I cared and tried to help her. But she wouldn't listen to what I had to say. She wouldn't let me ask the questions I needed to in order to find out what was going on. She wouldn't let me help her. So, she became a SEP.

I expect that if you call in here to ask for my help that you shut the hell up when I try to answer one of your questions. Don't interrupt me. You'd tell me I was being rude if I interrupted you. You'd ask for my supervisor and suggest I be fired.

At this point, I don't know how much I care if I get fired. Right now I'm sitting here with a box full of my personal belongings wondering if I should just turn my badge in at the door and tell the next person who gets on my phone to take a flying leap, I quit.

But then, I've got bills of my own to pay. I can't quit now or I'll be calling in here instead of answering the phone. Guess I'd better start unpacking...

 

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Suicide Prevention...

So, I thought I'd take a moment and share a story from when I first started out working on the phones as a Customer Service Rep. (I've been doing this for five years for three different companies.)

My first job as a CSR was with a major cellular phone company. The call center I worked in was responsible for handling Florida, Alabama, North Carolina and South Carolina.

One night, during my second week on the phones by myself, I get a phone call from a man in North Carolina. He sounded very upset and was hoping I would be able to give him the cellular number of one of our Customers.

Because Customers are billed for incoming phone calls we do not give out telephone numbers to just anybody calling in. This really pisses people off, and because this guy already sounded upset I wasn't sure what would happen when I told him I couldn't give him the information he wanted.

He started to cry. He told me this guy was his guardian angel and that he was having a very rough time in his life right now and could I please help him get in touch with his guardian angel.

I looked up the Customer's number and placed my caller on hold. When the Customer picked up, I advised him of the situation, told him I had this guy on hold and that he desperately needed to talk to him. Well Mr. Guardian Angel wanted nothing to do with Mr. Down and Out. He thanked me for calling and hung up the phone.

Now what am I supposed to do? Mr. Guardian Angel doesn't want the job anymore and Mr. Down and Out is crying into a payphone on the other line. I tell Mr. Down and Out that I wasn't able to get in touch with Mr. Guardian Angel (I sure wasn't going to tell him this guy had just blown him off), that I was sorry and was there anything else I could do for him.

This is when I found out that this guy was suicidal. He told me he was hoping his guardian angel would be able to talk him out of killing himself. He also told me that his wife had left him, that he wasn't sure he'd be able to see his kids again and that all he wanted to do was die.

I talked to Mr. Down and Out for about thirty minutes while he calmed down and thanked me for taking the time to listen. We hung up and I was so relieved. I couldn't believe that after two weeks on the phones I had already taken a call like that. People who had been there years were in awe. Nobody had ever heard of anything like that happening before, and I was feeling pretty good about myself.

He called me two more times that day. Each time was rough. I wasn't trained in that kinda thing, it was a weekend and there wasn't a supervisor around for me to ask what to do. Nobody else around me knew what to do either, so I kept talking to him.

Eventually I was able to put him through to a suicide prevention hotline. I didn't have the number for the one nearest him, so I called the local one for where I lived. I explained the situation and transferred him through.

I never heard back from Mr. Down and Out, but I know I did everything I could to help him.

I hope he's still out there and that life is treating him well.

 

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What's with North Carolina?

So far today the two calls that I've picked out to write about are from North Carolina...

The first is Mrs. G.

Mrs. G called in to say that somebody stole one check out of her checkbook and used it to pay her phone bill. She has no idea who would do something like that but she wanted us to know because her bank had notified her the check was being returned for, "You know, whatever they call it when you don't have any money in the bank."

*sigh*

I bet who ever stole that check forges her signature really well.

The next person I had a problem said something that I do hear a lot and really pisses me off. I'd like to preface this by saying I do understand where they are coming from, but please, be a little tactful about it.

Ms. T. was promised many times by many different people that she would receive a credit on her account because she was without service for several days. Unfortunately, as is often the case, the adjustment was never done.

I understand why she was upset, not only should the adjustment of been done months ago, but she was transferred into my department which isn't supposed to handle this kind of problem. I hate cleaning up after people.

Well, because I do care, I assured Ms. T. I would do the adjustment for her. I even did it while she was on the line talking to me. When I got finished I advised her the adjustment would show on her next bill and gave her the amount to pay today. This is the response I got:

HER: "Well how do I know you did the adjustment?"

ME: "Because I did it while we were talking."

HER: "So, that doesn't mean you did it, everybody else told me they were going to do the adjustment and didn't, what makes you different?"

ME: "Mrs. T. I can understand why you might feel that I'm just going to do what everybody else did and not do the adjustment. Again, I assure you that adjustment has been done."

HER: "Yes, but how do I know that you did it?"

OK, at that point she pissed me off. What was she expecting? A sworn blood oath? Should I sacrifice an employee or something?

ME: "Ma'am, I can't make you believe me. You either trust that I did my job or you don't. But I can't do anything else to make you believe that I've done what I've promised you I would do."

Well, that got her attention and at least she left me alone about the adjustment. Of course, that's when I had to tell her that the account was past due over ten days and due for disconnection. She refused to pay over the phone and said she'd mail it in. I told her that her phone would be suspended and she'd have to pay to have it reconnected but she said she'd "Take her chances."

Oh well, you can lead a horse to water...

The point of this story is that I hate it when I tell somebody that I'm going to do something and they give me the third degree like I'm lying to them. It's rude. And in all honesty it's not the best way to find out if what that person said they were going to do is going to get done.

Get the name and number of who you are talking to and call back. Talk to somebody else and verify the account has been noted, or that the change has been made, or that the adjustment has been done. But give it a day. Sometimes this things take time.

 

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Don't get mad because you can't do math...

Ok, so I'm on my break for today and thought I share another North Carolina call I got today. I sure do hope you guys find this interesting or funny, because it's a great stress reliever...anyway.

Ms. B from N.C. called in today upset over the amount of her bill. Her previous balance was $90.54 and she paid (late, of course) $41.00. She told me that is was mathematically impossible for her balance to still be $49.54.

So I told her to grab a piece of paper and a pen and we'd see what was going on.

ME: "OK, zero from four is four, and zero from five is five right?"

HER: "Right."

ME: "OK, now we borrow one from the nine and then subtract..."

HER: "I KNOW HOW TO SUBTRACT!!, this just isn't right. My bill just shouldn't be this much."

Maybe I am an asshole, but I can't help but get a little pleasure out proving somebody wrong. Especially when it was "mathematically impossible" for me to do so.

*grin*

 

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Umm, that's your zip code...

My class let out early today and I'm bored so I figured I tell you guys another story. This particular situation is something that happens a lot but generally people understand their mistake and move on. This lady got pissed...

"[My Company], this is [me], may I have your telephone number with the area code first?"

"555-1234"

"Thank you, may I have your area code please?"

"12345"

"I'm sorry, what was that area code again?"

"What, are you stupid?! I've already given you my area code."

"No ma'am, I'm not stupid, you gave me your zip code. Area codes only have three numbers..."

"Oh..."

I love a verbal bitch slap.

 

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Howdy!

Howdy!

So far today has been rather uneventful. This makes me happy. I'm retarded and came in 30 minutes early, but, they are going to let me leave early. This also makes me happy because now I can get home in time to watch Enterprise.

Drat! Guess I spoke too soon, here's a lady with some major issues, one moment...ok, that wasn't too bad. And she was really nice.

It's always nice when the Customer is helpful and responsive to questions instead of fighting you the whole way because this may of been the fifth time they've told the story to somebody.

My response to that is, "I'm sorry you have to go over all of this again, but this is the first time I've accessed your account. If you will let me know what's going on, I'm sure we can make this the last time you have to repeat this information."

Generally that works. It's funny, sometimes I really like my job. I like helping people. Some people just make it too hard to help them.

 

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Why I have a migrane...

or AOL is the Devil part II:

Mr. & Mrs. W, who have service in Nevada called today. You can always tell when you're dealing with a really bad situation and, really pissed off people when the wife calls and after explaining the situation, puts her husband on the phone. It's the whole, good cop, bad cop routine.

In all honesty, it's not a very effective routine because all he can really do is talk like he has some sort of power or authority. He also gets to yell louder and use the "grown up" words his wife isn't allowed to use. Hello, you're on the phone hundreds of miles away. Go flex and sweat someplace else.

Mr. & Mrs. W. were actually pretty nice. They had a legitimate beef, but they were yelling at the wrong person. Seems AOL felt that they had an account and was billing them through us. Well, all we are allowed to do is give the Customer a 60 day grace period on the charges. This gives them a chance to have AOL issue the credit.

Well, we had already done this, and the time period was up, so the charges were back on the account. AOL told Mr. & Mrs. W. that no credit was going to be issued. However they also told them that the account wasn't in their name and wouldn't talk to them about it.

So, now they are demanding we issue a credit we're not able to issue. I call AOL.

I talk to a rep who tells me what I already know...he can't talk to me. He tells me to call their fraud department and gives me a number. This is after a 20 minute hold.

I call fraud and after 45 minutes on hold I've been transferred to the wrong department. So I call back.

After 15 minutes the one Supervisor in our office that I don't get along with comes over all pissed off I've taken so long to try and help these people. She starts looking at the bill and telling me I'm all wrong about what's been going on, that credits have already been issued, and trying to make me look stupid for having wasted all this time.

That's when the AOL fraud department picks up. Now I'm flustered, I've lost my train of thought and end up hanging up with the fraud guy muttering something about sorry for wasting his time.

The supervisor leaves, I start to explain to the Customer why he was wrong according to the supervisor when I see that she was the one who didn't have a clue. (She never does)

So, now I have to go explain to her why she was wrong. HAHAHA! Stubborn as a goat springs to mind.

I show her where she was wrong, she does some math, turns around and tells me what I had just told her was problem like she had come up with it and knew it all along. Must-control-fist-of-death springs to mind.

However, she decides to issue the credit I told the Customer we couldn't do and after an hour and a half I'm through with the call.

God Bless AOL and my dumb ass supervisor.

 

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Something I just don't understand...

Here's something I just don't understand. It's about a call I got yesterday (thankfully I am off today) that I didn't talk about in my previous post.

A Mrs. K from Florida called in. The first thing out of her mouth was, "I hate you people." At this point all I had done was introduce myself, the company, and asked her for her phone number.

Mrs. K goes into a tale wrought with Customer Service woes. How our company mistreats her; how she can never get anything done; how nobody cares about her and that we treat her like dirt.

I actually enjoy these kind of calls. These calls give me the opportunity to help somebody who really wants help. We are taught that a Customer like this just wants somebody to listen to them, give them feedback that we do care, and to resolve the problem. And nine times out of ten that is what these Customers want.

Mrs. K. is that one out of ten who just wants to be a bitch. I'm sorry, but that's the truth.

After listening to her, I told her I was sorry she was having so many problems and advised her of some of the things she could do to help her in the future.

She started screaming at me. Not talking loud. Screaming.

She told me she didn't care, she told me she didn't want my help, she told me that all she wanted was for me to take her payment so she could get off the phone.

She got what she wanted.

She was off my phone 15 seconds later. I talked so fast and hung up so quick I bet she didn't realize what all had happened in that 15 seconds or that I'd hung up on her until 10 seconds later. I hope she had to call back and hold for 15 minutes to make sure I'd done everything to have her service turned back on. (I did)

So, here's what I don't understand. Why call in complaining that you never get good Customer Service, and then bitch out the person trying to offer you that service? Doesn't that kinda clue you in as to [i[why[/i] you may not get good service in the first place?

That's like complaining that you never have enough water, and then, when someone gives you a glass you throw it down and scream that you don't drink water.

*sigh*

 

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Saturdays are the worst...

Today I hung up on three people. I'm getting worse. The longer I sit at that desk the more I hate the job. Not that I'm not trying to do something about it. But it's hard to find a job when you don't have a college education and most of your skills revolve around taking abuse from total strangers via telephone.

The first guy I hung up on was stupid. I'll call him Mr. X because we never even got to the part where I ask him his name.

I started the conversation like I start ever conversation, by asking for the Customer's telephone number. Mr. X starts by telling me he is calling about a closed account. I advise Mr. X that I would be happy to help him, would he mind giving me that telephone number. Mr. X says, "I just told you it was a closed account, I don't know the telephone number." Strike One.

How am I supposed to know that? A lot of people do know this information.

So, I ask Mr. X for his name and Social Security Number. Mr. X interrupts me with, "I know the account number, would that help?" Strike two & three.

Don't interrupt, as well as, why not tell me that to begin with? Something like, "I don't know the telephone number, but I have this account number, would that help?" would of prevented strike one and I'd be halfway to understanding what his problem is. Now he's just wasting my time.

I advise the Customer that any information he could provide that would allow me to access his account would be of assistance. You can tell I wasn't really nice about it because he tells me not to get hostile with him.

So I tell him not to worry, and hung up on him.

He was my first call of the day and I just wasn't going to deal with that kind of stupidity at nine in the morning.

Both the second and third person I hung up on today completely deserved it.

Never, ever, use the word fuck when you are talking to me on the phone. I cuss, I understand the need to cuss, I do not understand the need to tell a complete stranger to a) go fuck themselves, or b) call them a fucking dickhead just because things aren't going your way.

That last guy was so funny though. He wasn't authorized on the account so I wasn't allowed to talk to him. So he calls me a fucking dickhead. So I said, "Thank you, is there anything else I can do for you." And he said, "Oh, I thought you hung up on me, I'm so sorry for calling you that." So I said, "No sir, I didn't hang up on you, but I'm going to now."

And I did.

There was no reason for him to think I had hung up on him, I had barely finished my sentence before he called me a fucking dickhead. Which, by the way, is a funny thing to call somebody.

Oh, well.

Maybe they'll just fire me and be done with it.

 

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This pissed me off...

I was talking to a customer today on the phone as her two kids were fighting in the background. The little girl starts screaming at her brother and calls him a faggot.

The mother didn't say a word. I could hear the father in the background as well. He didn't say anything either. I just couldn't believe that they didn't say something to her about her language and what she had just called her brother.

Now, normally, I'm not offended if I hear that kind of thing...coming from adults. But to hear a little girl call her little brother that flew all over me. Especially when neither parent said anything about it.

I wonder what would of happened if she had called him some other derogatory name? Would the dreaded "n-word" had her parents washing her mouth out with soap? What else does she say to him and get away with?

I sat there shocked for a couple of seconds waiting for them to get on to her, and when they didn't, I just hung up. It was that or get fired for making a comment about their parenting skills.

You have no idea how close I come to getting fired on a daily basis.

I have no idea how they haven't caught on to some of the things I've said to people. Like later on today I had a man who's bill had not been paid for two months and had just mailed off his payment yesterday. Normally it's not a problem to set up some sort of arrangement to keep a person's service on, but it just so happened that we had just recently done this for him and we set a time limit on how often we do arrangements.

It does seem harsh sometimes, but it is a business, we don't provide phone service out of the goodness of our hearts. We do it so we can earn money pay the electric company.

Well this man told me that he had a two month old child and asked if we were still going to shut his service off. This happens a lot and pisses me off too. Take responsibility for your actions, don't throw your baby in front of you like some sort of shield.

When I wouldn't answer his question directly he was all, "Say yes, I want to hear you tell me yes." So I did. That didn't make him happy. So then he told me if something happened to his child and he couldn't call for help it would be all my fault.

I get that a lot too. My normal response is, "What a horrible thing to say, let's both hope that nothing happens to your child." Want to make a person feel guilty, that's a good way to do it.

But this time I said, "No sir, it won't be my fault, it will be yours. We sent you a bill and we sent you a late notice. It's not my fault you didn't pay your bill on time." I don't think he expected that. He stuttered something then said, "Well, fuck you then." and hung up on me.

I get that a lot too.

I seriously can't imagine doing anything worse then what I do for a living. I've sold my soul for $15.49 an hour to a company that has made it clear they don't give a shit about me (I get no benefits at all, and only 19 hours a week) to be cussed at everyday by people who want to take advantage of the system and get pissed off because I've got the balls to tell them they need to take a bit of responsibility.

If you're on a fixed income, don't cry to me because you can't afford your $400 phone bill every month. Quit fucking calling people long distance. Get a cheap email provider and write them. Or have them call you. Or write 'em a letter.

What? You didn't get a bill? You've had service with us for 2 years. You don't get a bill when you normally do and all of a sudden you think that we're just gonna forget you've got service? That you get a free month? No, I don't think so. I know when I haven't received one of my bills.

You've got a phone, pick it up, call us. How am I supposed to know you haven't got your bill? If I could read minds I wouldn't be here putting up with your bullshit. I would of known you were calling and gone on break. Or I'd buy a lotto ticket and spend the rest of my life rolling naked in crisp $100 bills.

Do you know how many personal items I currently keep at my desk? My pen. And I carry with me everyday when I leave. Because one day I'm not going to walk back in there, or what's more likely, one day I'm just gonna walk out, and I'll be damned if they are getting my pen.