Confused 16 year old boy

Prom tomorrow

I didn't go to school today because it's some stupid all day seminar, and all the Seniors have said they are skipping.

Prom is tomorrow, but our school calls it "Spring Formal" since there's no dancing. Yes, you read that right.

I picked up my rental tux this morning, and all I need to do, today or early tomorrow, is make sure my friend is coming to pick me up and decide when he should come. He's never actually been here, so I need to give him directions's pretty far from his house.

Jon should be coming over here pretty soon and we're gonna smoke, but that depends on when/if he calls me back. He and Matt tried to call me on their lunch break from work to hang out before they had to go back, but I was out getting my tux. Then he called me back when I was playing tennis today around 1, and I called him back and he wanted me to come over to his house. But I took a shower first and now he's probably doing 'something' with his girlfriend now(I'm pretty sure), so there's no telling if he will ever come by. But besides that, we're definitely going to hang out tonight with Matt. I don't know if Adam is going to end up with us or not.

Last night I was hanging out with Matt and Jon too, and Sara called me and told me she wanted to hang out tonight... but I don't think I will end up doing that. Oh well.

Hopefully tomorrow is good.
Tennis tomorrow

We have tennis districts tomorrow (I don't think I'm going to play any games) so I don't show up at school, but I still have to get up around 7 to get to the courts around 8. I don't think I'll miss too much work tomorrow, but I know I'll have some math homework to make up (but what we're doing in there now is stuff I've already done). I still need to try and do the math homework I will miss so I can learn it well, my grade is suffering and there is no way I am going to fail in an easy class just because I was too lazy.

Besides not going to school tomorrow, I know I need to finish two English papers by Tuesday, and two Economics papers by Wednesday! They are short, and the Economics ones don't need to be very good, but the two English ones will take me some time. Considering that one of the economic papers was due last Wednesday, you can see how lazy I am when it comes to writing just one paper, but now four... I don't know when I will get around to it. I'm just really lucky the AP Bio teacher never remembered to give us our take home test.

I finally have some time to sit and write this out. I was busy and forgot to write all last weekend and this whole week, except Wednesday night, because I've either been out late or going to sleep early because I'm tired.

So, when I posted "I haven't gotten this messed up in what seems to be over at least four months. I'll post about it once I can think in the morning." on 4/10 I don't know what I was thinking. What I did that weekend, which is last weekend, was hang out with Jon on Friday night. We picked up some stuff from Matt, but he didn't hang out with us. I tried to call up Adam that night too, but he was out with his other friend that I know, and Jon didn't want to hang out with too many people in his room that night. His girlfriend was with us, and we smoked a lot. That's about it... we tried to go to some party where there was mud all over the floor but the keg was missing. Then the next day, Saturday of last week, Matt called me up pretty early in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to chill. So we went to some apartment where there were a few kids he knew and just smoked. We didn't stay there long, and ended up getting Jon and his girlfriend. We smoked, and ended up going to Matt's dad's apartment (hadn't been there in a while, since New Year's Eve). There, he bought us some hard drinks. It was a good night, but Adam couldn't join us again. I forget what the reason was that night.

Ok, well now for this weekend. Referring back to my last post, Jon did come over and pick me up Friday. It was unusually early in the afternoon, but we smoked and went and saw the movie "The Amityville Horror". It was really bad...don't see it. That was over around 6, and Matt had called us while it was still playing (he wanted to hang out, but he also needed money from Jon that Jon borrowed), so we picked him up and he had some Jack Daniel's Black on him. We smoked some more and drank a little, then we decided to go get Adam. So I finally got to hang out with Adam on Friday night, but shortly after he was with us we all took some Xanax (well Adam only had like 1/4 of a pill). I don't really remember anything after that, even though I had resolved not to forget anything, and Adam spent the night at my house. So that night is a blurr really except the movie and a little after that. I just wish I could remember everything from Friday, but oh well.

Then on Saturday, (after Adam and I dropped by my dad's house to feed the cat and then go eat) there was Prom. I finally got a hold of Kelly (A friend of mine, it's a guy) online Saturday morning and we worked it out to where my mom dropped me off at his house and he drove us around from there. It was funny because I was taking a nap at four in the afternoon and my mom had to come wake me up to get ready. So first we met with a few girls and a guy at an Asian resteraunt, but we didn't eat much. Then after that, there was about an hour before we needed to be at the Prom, so we tried to get some funk. But we couldn't work it out where we could get it before Prom started, so we just took some Vicodin before we went. We got there just on time and sat at a table with the people we had eaten dinner with. The pills didn't do too much, but at least they made me a little calm and it was tiny bit hard to walk, so we just sat there and they gave out awards. This is a dumb private school Prom, so basically they gave out student voted awards (like best hair) or prizes (like I won two tickets to Disney, which is funny for me because I'd never go there). We left early, right after the awards, around 9:15 or something... it ended around 11 and we had no idea what they had planned. Kelly and I ended up getting some bud from one of his friends, and going to another one of his friend's houses where we stayed until we started back to my house. My house is about 35 minutes from his, and I think we got home around 2 after stopping and eating, We watched some comedy on TV that I had recorded, and he spent the night since his house is so far away. Then today basically all we did was sit in my room and watch comedy shows on my TV all day and he left around 3. I haven't really done anything else. This longer weekend went by way too fast. It seems like it should be Saturday night or something, even after that extra day off Friday. At least it's just tennis tomorrow and no real classes, and I wake up 45 minutes later than normal at 7.

Well, my dad gets home with my step-mom around the 20th, and I get paid around $150 for looking after his house and cat each day. Matt mentioned it being his birthday the 22nd I think (I don't know my friends' birthdays), and so I hope I can get a hold of that money before then to help throw in for buying some stuff for his birthday. Hopefully my dad doesn't want to do Aikido this Saturday morning, since that would interfere with any birthday celebrations and I would have to turn my dad down on that. I'm hoping he'll say he wants to wait a week or something since he has been gone. What I think he will do is wait until that next Monday night. That would be ok with me, as long as it doesn't have to do with getting up early on a weekend day.

Hope you have a good week. This post is too long, and don't worry, I don't really do drugs too often.
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It's finally the weekend.

Tonight is Matt's birthday, and we're going to celebrate somewhere with a keg, and smoke, and I'll do something special.

Maybe Adam will join us. I just don't know when Adam will get home today, or when Matt or Jon will call me.
Last night

I feel pretty bad this morning from last night. We were at some club until around midnight, and then sitting around someone else's house who I don't know until about 4 in the morning. I fell asleep around 5 and woke up at 10:30. It's what I took that makes you feel bad the next day a little. Well, last night was a blast though, but I don't think I'll be doing that again. I was hanging out with Matt and a large group of people I'd never met before. A high note of last night was lying really close to some hot girl and talking for a long time and rubbing each other... she said I rubbed her sensually. But nothing happened beyond that, so I don't know if I'll see her again (I met her because she knew Matt and on Friday night she sold him something, and so last night I just happened to meet her again) or if I do, if she will even want to do anything.

I'll make another post later about what I did Friday night on matt's birthday, but it was no where as much as last night.

Now tonight I'm going to my dad's house for his birthday dinner, even though he spent his real birthday in Italy, and I'm about to go get him a present (hopefully anyways, Adam said he's coming over soon). I had a lot of money yesterday, but it's all gone now. I need to keep my spending under control at night from now on, that was a lot of money.

There's also some homework that needs to be done today. I wonder if I can bring myself to do it later.
Stayed home

Today I stayed home "sick" from school because last night Jon told me he just found out that he is leaving in two weeks for boot camp and will be gone for four months. He originally wanted to go in the navy early, but couldn't so he was leaving in November, but I guess his recruiter called him up and asked if he wanted to go in May. (I don't know if I have ever mentioned that Jon was planning to go in the Navy, getting some sort of job in it, and then get schooling after that for something, I forget what he said he planned on doing).

Well, anyways, even though he'd be back by September, and could stay until November (but, of course, something could always happen where we really do never see him again with a change of plans, or he somehow has to stay here), it is almost like we'll never see him again because he's leaving. So I told him we really needed to hang out as much as possible, even during the week when I have school if we have to. So he mentioned going to some bar/club last night and getting beer, so I said ok, knowing that I had school today. Well, my plan was just to come home around 1 and then go to school, but we ended up drinking before we left, drinking there, and I smoked alone... so I got home around 2:30 and just told my mom I was sick and couldn't go to school this morning. It was easy to pull of because I am already a little sick from a sore throat.

It was pretty fun last night, but Matt wouldn't come with us because he was going to sleep early since he has work today. It would have been much better with him. Him and Jon have been having little fights over things, such as not hanging out with each other because some of Matt's friends don't like Jon, etc. It's a shame and I hope they will hang out together, and with me, before Jon leaves. We ended up just meeting his girlfriend and a bunch of her friends there, and we were dancing for some of the time. This is the second time I have danced at a club, this Saturday being my first. I must say Saturday was better because I was a little more comfortable with the people I was with, and on something better.

Well, now I need to study for three tests I have tomorrow, which I am only prepared for one. Math will be annoying to study for, and anatomy is just plain hard because this chapter is just a bunch of memorizing without any common sense in it at all. I also have a big packet due that has to do with reading a book and answer qustions... it's really long and I think I'm going to finish it right after I send this post and eat lunch. It might take me around an hour. Then the last thing I need to worry about is the three economics papers that I need to turn in, two already being late.

Well, skipping school was nice today, but my mom is staying home during the day right now so it's not too great. Friday night is grad bash, for seniors, it's going to be at Disney (lame), and it's from like 8 to 3 or 4 in the morning or something, so I will have to wait until Saturday to really hang out with Matt and Jon again... hoping that they will. I can't do anything like last night again on a school night, but maybe I will be able to hang out with them for a little while on school nights.

A bad thing about last night is that I had $60 and now I have $5 (and this $5 has to go toward a school play that's on Thursday during school... and then I also need to somehow get $5 more for lunch tomorrow!)... and I was going to save that money for the weekend. But, Jon said he will pay me back $25, and hopefully I can end up working with Adam is his yard on Saturday to pull in some more money. I am just hoping I get to hang out with the girl I was talking to on Saturday night again, hopefully this Saturday night.

One last thing, I am definatly going to UCF, , and I am probably going to end up taking night classes over the beginning of summer in the beginning of May (when I'm still in my highschool - that's why they're going to be night), but it' only going to be like one or two classes.

I will miss Jon when he goes, and hopefully when he does leave I can still hang out with Matt as much as I always did or more.
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Last night

Last night, well around 4:30 I think, Matt called me up when I was staying home from school and asked me if I wanted to hang out since he just finished his classes. So, we smoked and went to his friend Tim's house. We stayed there a long time, then went to eat around 7, and came back to Tim's to wait for another of Matt's friends, Bobby. Soon after that we ended up going to the house we spent most of Saturday night in, I still forget the name of the guy whos house it is... but at least he knows me a little now. We were there until around 9:10, and the I had to go home for a little while because I knew my mom was expecting me home some time. So I talked to her for a second about my college classes while being a little blazed, and then I shut off all of my lights and acted like I was sleeping. Matt called me up again around 9:30 or so, and we went back to that kid's house for the rest of the night. We didn't do too much, and it was only four of us guys... I was hoping some girl would join us. Oh, Jon wasn't there either, too bad because he's the one leaving soon... I think Bobby doesn't like hanging out with him too much.

Anyways, what was good about last night was that I found out about Matt's friends' plan to all go to some cabin in the woods on Saturday night over until Sunday, and I might end up first I wasn't asked but then later Bobby mentioned me going and so I said sure. So, unless they don't go, or I can't go for some reason, I'll be hanging out all night smoking and drinking with everyone I was hanging out with on Saturday night. I think it's the exact same group of people, and the funny thing is I just recently met them all, well except I sort of knew Bobby from before. I got home around 1, and woke up and went to school today, but I wasn't totally normal at school.

Ive been going out on school nights now when I normally never did, and it's hard to wake up the next day and it's possible I could get noticed being gone at midnight from my house, but I am still hoping Jon or Matt calls me up tonight to hang out too.

Well, I do need to write a paper soon, one of the three for economics. I was supposed to have three tests today at school, and from what I did last night I wasn't ready for two of them... but I was really lucky and the Math test got moved to this Friday, and I think I understand the stuff a little better now, and I will hopefully end up studying on Thursday. And I think I did ok on my Anatomy test.

I hope my school work lets up and I can relax until my classes for UCF start up. It's been really annoying with all these papers and tests and me going out while I have them.

Oh, and I think I am not going to go to grad night at Disney anymore. I think it'd be boring and a waste of the night, plus I need to get the $25 Jon owes me, and hang out with him or Matt... so hopefully this Friday I will do something good as well as Saturday.
Grad Nite

Looks like tonight I'm going to Grad Nite with my friend Kelly and a bunh of other kids we know from school, and obviously most of the seniors from my school will be there, but it's not a large seniorclass. It's at Disney, not Universal like last year, and I think they made the wrong choice. I think it will be quite lame...I'm not sure. For the sake of simplicity, Kelly is just going to pick me up and drop me off, because we all just drive to school and a bus takes us from there. It's from like 9:30 to 4 a.m., or at least somewhere along those lines. There's a little confusian over strict dress code, and I'm half wondering if our entire senior class won't be allowed in due to wearing the wrong thing. Kelly and I are debating whether to wear dress pants just to be safe. Damn, it's so lame, last year my brother had Grad Bash at Universal and you could wear what ever you wanted, and I heard it was crazy. But it won't be like that at Disney, or at least Disney wants you to think that.

Anyways, he should be here in around thirty minutes, we're going to go eat with some girls and one guy we know, and then go to school to take the bus from there.

It looks likes I will be seeing my friend Jon even less than I thought, because he said he's leaving for his last week at home to the beach or something and is just going to drink a lot. I obviously can't join him all week, and probably won't at all if he ends up doing that. I don't know when I'll see him last.

I was going to try and hang out with him tonight, but I decided on going to Grad Nite, plus Matt is gone at some Cabin in the woods.

Oh, that's another thing, I talked about maybe going to spend the night in a cabin in the woods with Matt and the people we hung out with last Saturday, but now I will not be because they all decided to go today. I didn't really want to spend two entire nights there... well, ok, so I might have done it if it was possible to skip school today and leave with them all around 1. But I have a feeling I won't be joining them on Saturday night because I don't think there's anyway they will be down here again once they get there.

At least I was hanging out last night with Matt smoking. (On Wednesday night, Jon was at my house around 10, with beer, but we only drank a few in my room because nothing was going down that night). His friend Bobby was there, and we went to Tim's apartment. The two hot girls were there too. That's mostly where they planned all of the trip. So there's only a very small possibility I'll hang out with Matt this weekend, and Jon said he was going to some club with his friend tomorrow so I probably won't see him either. He owes me $25, and I want to get it before he leaves for good, heh. Since I have so little money... and I still owe my mom some.

Hopefully tonight, and tomorrow night, will be fine.

Oh, best news for me in a while, I won't be starting college classes until June. I was worried that I was going to have to start them May 10th, with no summer break. Now for that break I'll be hanging out every night. Well, with Jon gone probably not every night, but as much as I can with Matt and his friends. I don't know why, but Adam doesn't really hang out late at night with groups of people. So that's why I see him at nights sometimes, and I'll probably be chilling with him over the summer too.
Nice weekend

On Friday night Kelly and I went to Grad Nite. We took around three vicodin, but didn't have the chance to smoke before we went, and basically we just walked around with a group of friends. It was nice riding a few of the rides, but towards the end of the night around 1:30 it got really boring. The bus left Disney at 2 a.m., and we got back to my house around 3:20 I think, and we went to sleep around 4. Kelly stayed at my house Friday night.

Then Saturday we woke up around 12, and we watched a bunch of comedy shows all day until around 6, and he went with me and my brother to eat at my dad's house. After that, we had to decide whether to go over towards his house (far from mine), or stay at my house, because we didn't know which of us was going to have friends to chill with.

We ended up staying near my house, and we went to Jon's apartment place with Jon's girlfriend too, and we drank a few beers, and had some red bull mixed with liquor. Then there was a party happening, so we all drove in Kelly's car over to it. Basically, there we played drinking games and there was some really good Jello shots and hunchpunch. We ended up smoking near the end of the night, and we took Jon and his girlfriend back to his place and stayed there until around 3:45 a.m. then went home and he stayed at my house again.

So today we woke up around 11:30, and I had no idea they would be here, but one of my mom's brothers was here with his older daughter and young son. I didn't really talk to them too much, and Kelly left around 2 in the afternoon. Sarah came over to do some video project and finished that around 5. Then Adam came over and we drove around to a stupid army shop where he was hoping to get a ski mask, but they didn't have one. So we went to Taco Bell, and then I went home 'cause I had to eat at my dad's for dinner. I went over there with my brother and got back around 7, then Matt picked me up and we drove around and smoked for a while. After that, I went to Adam's house again, around 8, and Sarah called when I was over there wondering if her friend could come to work on her video project on my computer. They were over here doing that not too long ago, but they left about an hour ago.

Now I'm just waiting for Matt to pick me because I'm supposed to hang out with him tonight 'til maybe around 1:00, or sometime early like that, since I have school tomorrow. Hopefully he calls me tonight and we chill with his friend Bobby. If not, I'll be mad that he told me he would and didn't.

I haven't gotten too much sleep this weekend, since I've been going to sleep at 4. I hope I'm not too tired tomorrow at school.
Got home from school

Kelly and his friend Brett talked me into skipping third period, Economics, so we left around 11:30 and I got back around 1:15, and fourth period started at 1:30. We smoked, which I really shouldn't skip school and do, but hey, it's almos tthe end of my senior year. Then we ate too, and luckily in fourth period everyone else had something to make up so I read a book all period and slept for a little bit in my desk.

I got home around 3:30, and I've been sleeping most of the time since then. I have to go to my dad's for dinner tonight, and I don't have any other plans so far. Only thing special about this week so far is that I might try and skip school Friday so that I can go out with Matt and maybe his friends on Cinco De Mayo Thursday and drink at some resteraunt/bar. This depends on if I can skip Friday, and if he ever follows up on asking me about it yesterday.

I didn't hang out with him last night, he told me he would pick me, but didn't. I don't care too much, I was really tired, but if he let me know sooner I could have gotten more sleep. I mean, he said at one point he'd be over in an hour, then after an hour he said a little longer, so I'm guessing he did something that didn't let him leave. Oh well, I hope I'll hang out with him on Thursday and maybe before that.
Annoying Math

My mom was upset about my grades yesterday morning, right when I woke up, and I really hate it when issues are put in my face right when I wake up... and it seems my mom does this often. Then when I try and brush it off for the moment, because it's the freaking morning, she acts like I'm trying to avoid the problem all together.

Anyways, first of all, she can check my grades online. So, she found that some of my classes that I had A's in showed B's online, so I said I'd check it out, but more importantly she was worried about my Pre-Calc grade being 66. Well, so Thursday at school I went around to every teacher and made sure my grade was an A or would be an A by the end of next week (next Friday being the last day of the school year), and it turns out that they all will be except for math. So I will only have to take one exam, but it's the worst exam ever because I've been slacking off in math this year and I don't know very much... so when I study it will be like learning all this stuff for the first time.

Well, the 66 is a deceptive grade because we've only had one quiz grade, which I did badly on because I wasn't ready that particular day. That one quiz grade distorted my whole grade because the quiz grades are a certain percentage of my overall grade and we've only had one. So, for instance, my sister’s grade, which would normally be around 96 or above, is down at like 87 or something. Anyways, I skipped school today and she just bothered me about the grade right when I woke up, again. That was about 20 minutes ago. She wants to work on the problems with me, but I kept trying to explain that my grade is a little distorted (even though I admit it's not as good at it should/could be), and we're on a very easy section. I may need help studying for the final, but she wants to sit down with me (today or something, when I skipped school which she said was OK because it's such a pointless day) and work on this last section's problems. I will sit down and get help, but I wish she would understand that I don't want to do this on a Friday.

Ok, well anyways, that's the only big matter of school. As for what I've been doing out of school, on Tuesday I was hanging out with Matt and Tim and smoked, and then we went to Mike's house and did some more. Well, overall that wasn't too good of a night, and I ended up getting home around 11:30 I think. Keep in mind, when I come home late on a school night, it's not with the knowledge of anyone else in my house.

On Wednesday, Jon called me up because he was back from camping and I started to hang out with him pretty early in the afternoon, around 4. We ended up doing a little too much, and at his girlfriend's work we had more to drink than I should have had and I took a valium, so when I went home at around 1 in the morning I couldn't do anything but sleep.
Then Thursday morning I didn't feel too bad, but I did feel a little strange at school. I forgot to mention that I asked my mom if I could school skip today, Friday, back on Tuesday because of Cinco De Mayo Thursday (of course that's not the reason I gave her).

So, yesterday on Thursday after school I was hanging out with Jon and Adam, but Adam has school today so he ended up going home around 7:30. Now, the plan after that was to go to some bar/restaurant and drink, but plans with Jon normally don't go too smooth and it didn't last night. My original plan had been to hang out with Matt, but since I was hanging out with Jon Wednesday and he asked me about Thursday, I just decided to hang out with him (it might have been a better plan to hang out with Matt, but oh well). So, we waited for these people to come over, and we drank when they finally got to Jon's. It was around 10 though, when they should have shown up around 8:30 (but they took a long time to get ready, even though they're guys) because all we did from like 7:30 to 10 was watch TV. Then after a while he decided to try and to go Jon's girlfriend's work, but the place was like closing down at 11. Then we tried to go downtown, but it didn't work out, I'm not exactly sure why. Finally after that it was just down to me, Jon, and some girl he knew (who it looked like he was going to cheat on his girlfriend with, but never did, last night anyways) and we all stayed at Jon's 'til around 2. Then Jon passed out and the girl drove me home because she lives right near me.

Today, I'm hoping my mom doesn't bother me further about math, because I want to deal with that tomorrow or Sunday. When I called up Matt last night we said we'd hang out tonight, so hopefully I end up hanging out with him tonight. Like I said, I think yesterday would have been more fun with him. Well, hopefully everything in Math goes well for me.

I am drunk and I just drove home in my friend's car with his girlfriend in the front and him in the back, I'll post about it tomorrow... hopefully his gf drives them both home OK.

Well, I sure as hell didn't do any math work yesterday. I changed the subject with my mom to how good my other grades were, I'm sly like that. I will work on it tomorrow night.

Basically, all day yesterday I was watching that show The O.C., yeah I don't know if you hate shows like that or what, but this one cracks me up. Same with that show Nip Tuck, it's supposed to start playing this summer. Adam came over and started watching it with me too, so we just watched it until around 10 at night.

Then around 10 Jon talked to me online and said he wanted to hang out. He broke his girlfriend's phone by dropping it into coke/bacardi Thursday night. Anyways, we ended up going to some party with a keg, we went with his girlfried and her friends. It was a pretty good time.

We played drinking games and had too much. It was a good night of talking with hot girls, who also had boyfriends though. So, around 3 we had Jon drive us back to his apartment. He was too drunk, so I drove his car back to my house, and from there Christine was supposed to drive his car back to Jon's apartment. I don't know how that went... but I'm guessing they got back fine.

Matt was supposedly taking ecstasy last night with some other kids, so I didn't end up hanging out with him. My friend Kelly also wanted to hang out last nigt, because some cool seniors from last year are back for the summer. So I told him to call me up today. Hopefully I end up hanging out with Matt or Kelly and his friends.

I just ate lunch at my dad's house, and I'm going back over for dinner, but that's all I have planned for today.

Mother's Day is tomorrow, so I also need to get a gift for her and figure out what we're going to be doing.
Mother's Day

Yesterday, Adam and I went to the mall so I could get my mom something for Mother's Day. Then I went over to my dad's for dinner. It was strange that Nikki called me during dinner though, she lives at the house where we went to for the kegger on Friday night (it was my first time meeting her, but she had my number because she told me to call her that night when we drove home OK), and she asked me how she could get in contact with Christine (Jon's girlfriend). All I could give her was Jon's AIM name, I dunno if that was any help, but apparently she got a hold of her somehow because Jon told me he was over there again last night at another party. Too bad I didn't go, but he said there were a lot of people anyways, too many because right as they were leaving the cops came.

After dinner, I called up Adam and we watched The O.C. at my house for a while. Around 10:45 we figured no one was going to call me up with something to do, and I was getting tired of watching TV, so we tried to call up Matt to see if he could get us any green. It turned out that he was at some party downtown, but he hooked us up with his friend and we ended up smoking. Adam spent the night since it was pretty late by the time we got home, and then left this morning.

Today we had brunch with my mom at our house, gave her a bunch of presents, and later my brother and I ate dinner at my dad's house even though it's Mother's Day.

Overall, it was a let down weekend for what I was hoping to do. Skipping school Friday was a good idea, but then Thursday night wasn't too great like I said. Friday night was a lot of fun, but we didn't arrive at the party until pretty late, and so it didn't seem long enough. Last night wasn't what I was hoping for, and tonight there's nothing... although it's probably a good thing that I'm not sneaking out tonight on a school night.

Tomorrow at school I think I'm not having any classes because of the AP Bio exam. I wasn't going to take it, but that doesn't look good and after thinking about it I'd rather miss classes.

Well, I hope this week is good for my last week of high school ever. I just wish I had some money, heh.
AP Bio exam

I took the AP Bio exam today, and so I got home early around 12. After not having listened all year, because it's insanely boring, the test was very difficult. There's no way this is getting a college credit, but the class brought my GPA up all year so it's all good.

I have to go to Aikido with my dad today at 5:15, then we're eating at his house with my brother.

Anyways, I mainly just wanted to name a few books I'm reading so I can read back over this and see it later. First, there's one I don't like much, "The Geography of Thought" seems too pop-psychology or something. But it's still interesting, although I'm not rushing to finish it. Then, I'm reading a fiction book, which I haven't read in a while called "The Curious Incident of the dog in the Night-time". It's about a 15 year old with autism, it's funny and interesting/revealing at the same time. I'm almost done, but I had to pause near the end because I also have to read "Brave New World" for English by this Thursday, and I'm not almost finished yet. I just finished 1984 for English too. Finally, there's "Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers" which I got because it's interesting how the author grouped chapters together by subject instead of philosopher.

Well, four more days of school, then hopefully only one exam to take. I still have no idea what I'm going to major in.
Last night

Last night was a BAD idea. Bad idea. It all went totally wrong. First, I went to Aikido with my dad, and god damnit I hate it, I want to quit so bad, but there's this trip we're taking to L.A. for a weekend (it's for some Aikido thing, god I hope it doesn't suck) that's all paid for and so I can't even mention wanting to quit because I need to go to this first. Then I can say that since college is starting I don't want to continue, which is true.

Then Matt and Adam both called me up while I was with my dad's, so when I got home around 8, I went to Adam's house and we took what was left of our weed, and went to my house. Then, Matt had also bought more to split with me, because we planned it. Anyways, we drove around in Adam's car and smoked, and then he had to go home; Matt and I went to one of his friend's houses that I know quite well by now. We smoked more over there. And it was pretty cool at first, Bobby was there, Juliet was there, the cute girl who also shares the place with the two college guys that all live there was there, god I can't remember her name... it was pretty fun talking to her though. I made a joke about how she cleans all the time, she asked me if I wanted to sit down and I said no because it would make me too tired, she said "long day?", I say, "No", she laughs and says "Oh that explains it."

Anyways, so far that's the good part. But then that girl left, and things went downhill. I bought a xanax from Juliet and split it with Matt, had one beer, took another half a xanax, smoked cigarettes, and I was feeling OK but I wasn't totally with it if you know what I mean.

You see, I said I'd never take xanax again because it makes me forget everything, but it didn't tonight because I took two halfs at different periods, but it still messed me up to the point where I wanted to be more aware. And then to make things worse, there's this cool gay guy they all hang out with, and everyone is fine with it. I think he's cool too and stuff, but on [Sunday] night Matt was being an ass and had told a few people I was gay (I wasn't with him that night), (I think it was payback for telling my friend Jon about Matt selling his bong that he had given to someone else).

Now, I don't really give a shit whatsoever if people mess with me, you can call me gay all you want or anything, but I happen to care when I'm messed up and don't want to deal with it at the moment. So the one guy was questioning me, and he was a little messed up too, and he was getting a kick out of fucking with my confused mind.

That really pisses me off when people mess with me when I can't think straight. Oh well, next it got worse because we went to Denny's late at night, keeping in mind I was supposed to have school today, and things seemed to turn in to which guy could get with Juliet for the night. Yeah, you know how guys are, and I could sense that a few of the guys were each trying to get her by themselves. Matt had his arm around her and stuff, but she was all xanaxed out and was enjoying kissing anybody, but it pissed me off to see everyone doing that after having messed with me. It was like taking advantage of the messed up girl or something.

Then they had to go pick up a really bad drug they're all doing today, which I would never do and won't mention the name of (worse than ecstasy or shrooms), and they said they'd never do, but it looks like they're all doing it today when they go to the beach. I don't know if Matt will go, but I think he is, almost sure of it. I hope Matt is OK after today. Well, the point is that as they were picking this bad drug up, which involved complicated driving because it's so damn illegal, the gay kid I was talking about (sorry, I can barely pronounce his name) ran into the back of the dealer's car (It wasn't very bad at all, very very minor, but still very bad to do). The guy was so pissed off, but luckily he was semi-friends with a few people with us including Matt and Bobby... and I think Bobby tried to take the blame but this other kid didn't buy it and said he was gonna kick the kid who was driving's ass.

After that, I finally got home at 4 a.m. That's four in the damn morning when I am supposed to wake up at 6:15 for school. So I thought I'd try and pull off going to school today, but when I got out of the shower this morning I realized it wasn't going to be possible, so I semi-faked being very sick and dizzy (semi-fake because I really was feeling sick and dizy just not as bad as I made it out to be), so my mom let me stay home in bed. I woke up around 1, and I've been thinking up until now about how bad last night pissed me off, and I don't think I want to do anymore pills or weed for a long time now.

Hah, this reminds me of Lady A's older posts that I just read yesterday, it's a funny journal.

Anyways, OK, so I lied, there is definetly one more pill I am taking Friday night because I already had it bought for me, but after that no more. I just can't blow off this one pill because it would piss the person off who paid for it and I said I'd take it with him on Friday night, the person being Matt by the way.

I should've been home last night around 1, not 4, and I think I'm holding off on doing anything until I'm totally finished with this last three days of school and exams. That's kind of funny though, I've missed last Friday, Monday (for AP Bio exam), and now today,Tuesday.
School was easy

Despite missing school Friday, Monday, and Tuesday, school was really easy today, there's not much to make up. My math grade is a low C now, up from a D, because of a quiz we took today, and the last chance I have to pull it up a little more is the test this Friday (this Friday for seniors only though, and there's only two of us). I am going to the math teacher during lunch tomorrow to make sure I know how to do every problem, although this section is very easy I can't take any chances on not getting an A. I also took some easy Apologetics test today without ever having studied, and I think I did OK. Then, in economics there's this idiotic thing which each student has to do where we get up and teach the class about a certain subject. I actually got prepared for mine last night, while also writing that last paper needed for economics, and I "taught" it today. It's pointless because no one listens anyways, and the teacher will give an A no matter how bad your lecture is, mine was really short along with most peoples.

I missed lunch today because I forgot my wallet, and even though I could've gotten money from my sister or one of my friends, I needed to take an English test I missed over the book 1984. It was really easy for this teacher's tests. Now all that's left to worry about is a Brave New World test tomorrow, I need to finish reading the book tonight.

So, other than Math and English, I'm basically free from anymore highschool work. There's just tomorrow and Friday left, then it looks like I'll only be taking my one exam, the math exam, next Tuesday. So, I'm just a little annoyed over having to prepare for my math exam, it might actually take some work.

Also, they finally gave us our yearbooks. It's nice to look at.
My dream

I was just reading the book Brave New World for English, and in the book everyone can basically just sleep with whoever they want, because I guess it's really easy to get someone to say yes or something.

Anyways, so I fell asleep and I had this dream where I was at a drug rehabilitation center, but I was only there because my friend needed to go, and I was there with him just to be there with him. And it was my third time being there, and the third time talking to some really cute girl (I have no idea how it's a third time meeting someone in a dream randomly).

So, I walked up to her and I said, "hey, about yesterday," she says "I have a boyfriend", and suddenly it hits me that the only reason that I walked up to her was for quick sex. But for some reason it hits me that this is "the real world" and not Brave New World, and so I'm totally embarassed, even though all I ever said so far was "hey, about yesterday."

Then, she starts talking to her boyfriend, but it turns out to be my friend who I am with, and I think to myself, wait a minute this cannot be her real boyfriend. She takes a shot of liquor off of my body while I'm doing a handstand sort of move, and everyone sort of goes crazy with weird movements.

After that, I'm about to hang out with her more, and she no longer has a boyfriend, but I wake up.

This as a nap I just took from about 6:00 to 6:45. I couldn't not write it down for my own amusement.
Bad, Bad

Something very bad might have happened to Sarah last weekend. I talked to one of my teachers about it today. Hopefully I can talk about it with her again today, and also discuss it with Adam more, he was with me when she told us.
I've felt sick

Well, today was my last day of High School, other than my English exam Monday from 8-10, and my Pre-Calc exam Tuesday. I ended up skipping third period because it was so pointless at school, other than for saying goodbye to people, and me, kelly, Brett, and our friend Jacky went and ate at a resteraunt and decided we'd all go to Brett's house tonight for a party. Jacky might come, she says she might not be able to get off work.

I've also been feeling sick since Wednesday night. Hopefully tonight is fun.

Edit :

Also, very great news! My mom now has two jobs, in which she works for herself for two law firms as a consultant. She had been jobless for about a month.

"I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall"
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Crazy night

Friday night was a crazy night. Kelly and I went to our friend Brett's house, and he had a few of his friends over. My friend Nick from last year was there too, he graduated from my high school last year. So, we started playing drinking games and smoking early, and by 11 I was already way too messed up. I passed out for a while, then woke up and found that a few girls and one new guy had shown up, so I tried to join them. But I passed out again, this time with water in my hands, and I woke back up around 3 with water all over me because I spilt it. By that time, there was only one girl sitting near me passed out, and everyone else had tried to go on this kid's boat but they couldn't start it, so I just joined them sitting out in it on the dock. Basically, the rest of the night I didn't want to drink anymore and just smoked a little, we had fun talking with Brett's funny girlfriend, but unfortunately Brett had gone to sleep by then. Around 4:30 everyone decided to go to sleep, so Kelly and I decided to stay up until around 5 then go to my house to sleep. We had planned on staying there, but there was no point because it was so late. So we ended up going to bed around 6 and waking up around 1:30.

Kelly left my house pretty soon after we woke up and ate lunch. Adam called me right as I turned my phone back on from waking up, and he ended up going to lunch with us too yesterday. Then Adam and I went to the mall where he was supposed to talk with a girl he knew about a fight she wanted him to get in, along with one other guy, because some guy had sort of abused her on her Prom night or something like that. So we talked with her at her work in some little girl's clothing store, which was hilarious, but she seemed really nice. Anyways, she said she was going to a girls only party and didn't want to do it last night. I think they're going to try and do it next weekend, and I want to be there to see it, but I might have plans that get in the way.

Then I had to go eat dinner at my dad's, but it was really short because no one else was there except me and my brother. Then, when I got back, Adam came back over to my house. As we were planning on calling up Matt to see if he could get us anything, he IMed us and asked if we wanted to hang out, which was even better. So Adam ended up driving us. We ended up going to Tim's house and smoking. Bobby and the two girls he always hangs out with showed up later, and we smoked with them too. Then around 12:30, which is pretty early, we went home because both Adam and Matt really wanted to go home for some reason.

Now, it's the morning. Adam had to leave early to drive his little brother somewhere. I am going to eat lunch at my dad's house, and then dinner. I am also going to eat dinner at his house Monday and Tuesday night, but my brother won't join us because he finally got a job. This is his first job, I think he moves packages for FedEx. I am also going to Aikido tomorrow before dinner, we never ended up going on Saturday or Sunday morning because I didn't really want to.

My dad gave me $200 to buy clothes with last night too, after I asked him for it because my mom can't afford it right now and I need them for college. I've been going to a private school that has uniforms, so I don't have too many, just what I need for the weekends. It's not too much money, but it's enough, and I think I will spend some of my own money later. Adam and I are going to go try and buy some today.

That's about it for now. This thing with Sarah hasn't gone as well as I would have hoped for.