Complete F**king idiots......


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It's that time of year again...

It's that time...the anniversary that we mark. Every year, on the calendar, sure as the sun rises and sets.

I still miss him. And it still hurts. A LOT.
He is supposed to be here, cracking us up with with his spot-on impersonations and quotes from movies. He is supposed to be here, to give us the insight on the upcoming football season. He is supposed to be here, getting ready for the not-too-far-off hunting season.

But he's not.

And those quotes from the movies aren't quite as funny as they used to be. And the football games lose a little of the energy, the noise, and the passion. And the hunting season seems to be colder, with not as many ducks as we remember seeing years past. All things lose some of their sparkle, their luster. Because he's supposed to be here.

The real sting, the heart-wrenching pain has subsided for some of us. For some, it still hurts the same. EVERY.DAY. And it's different for everyone. Personally, it was the first in a string of losses and changes that I never wanted that have happened in the following years. To be sure, there have been some wonderful things that have occurred in my life that stand out, that make me happy, so there is some balance. So maybe I've become more adept? Maybe I can compartmentalize it better, each into it's own category? I don't know. What I do know is it still hurts.

I had a dream several weeks ago. It really upset me when I woke up from it. There we were, on some lake, much alike the one where the camp is now. There was a place to launch the boat behind it, an elevated camp, similar to the one now, but much lower. And we were fishing, he an I, from a small aluminum boat, casting between cypress trees already turned red with the onset of the cooler weather. There was a slight fog on the water from the cool air. He had lost a good bit of weight, but still had just a little to lose. His signature goatee was entirely grey, and for some reason he grew the back of his hair ever so slightly, not enough to even be considered long, but longer than his normal haircut. Inside the camp was Uncle T, resting and watching TV. And we fished, in silence. And he had the biggest smile on his face. He was completely happy, on that lake, rod in hand, casting for the next fish worthy of being placed on the wall.

I woke up with tears streaming down my face and went to the bathroom so as not to wake Josie. And I bawled. I cried until my eyes hurt. Until they were dry.

Those of you that know me well know that I am not outspokenly religious. I really couldn't tell you which religion suits me best. But I can tell you this with utmost certainty - that was a vision from Heaven.


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My Sister

Since I normally save everything I write here also, I am copying this from my Facebook.

I write a lot about how much I miss my cousin who passed 4 years ago as he was more of a brother that I never had.

I need now to write about my sister, Jennifer who passed away 2 years ago after a lengthy battle with Lupus. She was 42. The same age I am now.
She battled Lupus for 20 years. It took both of her kidneys; a third that was a donor; both of her legs below the knee; vision from one of her eyes; and eventually it took her.

She was the first person I ever knew that wasn’t “Mom” or “Dad”, my first playmate, my first teacher, my first friend. She taught me many things along the way –neatness (though it’s questionable if that actually stuck with me), to be observant of the details, and the appreciation for classic rock music.

Many hours were spent racing our bikes on the oval track we wore into the backyard, throwing the Frisbee back and forth, and countless games of badminton. There were the late nights, watching the black and white versions of Sherlock Holmes, Abbott and Costello, and Charlie Chan Cinema. We would watch those until the American Anthem was played and that faded into “the ant races” – a snowy picture that signified the TV station went off air (back in the days before cable).

There were numerous pillow forts, card games, and hours spent just listening to records on her stereo – which I still have by the way, with the intention of seeing if it still works. I’m not sure what to do if it doesn't, but I’ll deal with that at another time. Just seeing it time and again is enough to bring back the memories of listening to ALL the Van Halen, ALL the Billy Squier, ALL the Styx, and as much as she could collect for Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and other heavy metal. She grew up in the right era for her taste in music.

She loved horses also, collecting plastic figurines – not sure what else to call them – that she would proudly displayed on her book case. There must have been 50 of them, meticulously placed and spaced so that all could be seen. I’ll always be happy when she married that she and her husband actually had the space and time to actually have a horse ride.

I’ll never forget the nights spent at the hospital with her in the end, even though it wasn't nearly as many as it should have been, or as many as mom put in, and those were not good nights. I am glad for her that the struggle is done, that the pain is over. I know she put in more fight than some people put in in 10 lifetimes. She never complained, never once showed anyone that she felt sorry for herself, and handled everything with the class and dignity few people ever know.

I know that I miss her, but I know that she is up there, smiling down on us. She is rebuilt anew, perfect, in no pain.

She is enjoying a ride; waiting until we are all joined back together -maybe to listen to some more records and a good game of cards.


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read the warning.

WARNING! Some of this post will get VERY sexual in nature – but this is my journal and it's for me, so if you don't want to read “smut” then please skip this post.

So, it's been a while since I wrote about something that wasn't depressing. So I’ll have to back up a bit.

For those keeping track, several years ago I wrote about a friend that I called “T” that worked as a stripper, very part time while she was legit working her way through school (which she has by the way and is considering going back for her Masters)

Anyway, I can't seem to find the post of whether or not that we actually hooked up...but we did and I actually had a three-way with her and her roommate. If I didn't write about it, well, maybe I’ll get back to the juicy details later. Let's just say that at that time, it was a toy Doc had gotten tired of playing with for a while and since I had NO toys to play with, I greedily scooped it up and played with it a few times. Sorry, not sorry.

ANYWHO, though the power of Facebook, we reconnected long ago and I insisted that she and Josie become friends because I swear those two were separated at birth. They are so much alike it's scary. So, we've all been friends, even gone out a couple of times for drinks and T actually dated another friend of mine very briefly (it didn't work out, we're not sure what exactly happened there, blah blah blaaaaah)

So...Josie knows the back-story, she knows that me and T hooked up and we both think that T is hot. I guess I should add that Josie does have a fondness for certain women and is not a stranger to being with a woman. Yeah in THAT way.

Back to where I was – and I suddenly realize that there are way more details I am leaving out. So I'll do the TL;DR / ADD version:

Me and Josie are VERY sexual beings and have a great sex life, pushing each others boundaries inch by inch.
I was very vanilla until we became a couple.
She is very open to trying just about anything.
She is very much in love with me and I am very much in love with her.
We WILL be together forever...or until we kill each other, whichever happens first. We're never getting divorced (fuck that, it's too much BS to go through)
She has repeatedly said that she honestly does not care if I wanted to sleep with someone besides her - I just can't leave her for someone else.
We are NOT swingers.
We are NOT looking to “spice up our marriage/bedroom.”
If she ever gave me a “pass” I would be inclined to do the same as I am a fair person and from where we are in this marriage and in our life, I truly do not believe she would ever sleep around behind my back or leave me.
There were MANY ground-rules talked about in theory should....anything...happen.
She will know about every text, phone call, or conversation I ever have with any other woman that could be accidentally confused for something inappropriate.

So, clear as mud, right?

Josie has always teased me about me wanting to have another go with T. And I have jokingly flirted with T via text message or Instant Messenger. And for the longest, T has semi-flirted back, even pushing it so far as to insinuate a three-some with me and Josie.

Yeah, I can feel the trashiness flowing through me as I type this – you know what? ZERO FUCKS GIVEN! I regret NOTHING!

So, a couple of weeks ago I had taken a day off to recover from some dental work I had done (had to have 3 fillings replaced and a crown – I couldn't hardly talk the next day, and well, that shit is kind of important when you answer calls and take orders all day) so I had taken to flirting with T and Josie that day. And T was up to her normal teasing self and I decided to call her did Josie. After a couple of hours of doing this I had T – and I quote: “so horny and confused she couldn't think straight.”
I can be quite the silver-tongued (fingered?) devil when I text in short bursts.
As this was getting hotter and hotter by the minute, I was giving Josie the play by play. She was pretty excited by the prospect of it too.
And then the moment came – when I took a screen shot of a text where Josie said she honestly didn't care if T came by that night and we hooked up – in the naked and horizontal/vertical/doggie-style sense of that word. And to that T replied - “well, I guess it's game on, then”. (For the record – those two were texting each other in a separate conversation talking about the same conversation I was having with T)

And so it happened. I had a few drinks, was overly aggressive, clumsily groped and squeezed and licked and bit and touched and for the first time in six years, had sex with someone who wasn't my wife.
And it was still fantastic! And T really seemed to enjoy herself too. I started off standing behind her and undid her pants to slide them down to discover a G-String and I went down on her from behind. She then moved to the bed where I continued that for a while until she decided it was her turn to return the favor....and boy did she. She is VERY talented in that department. And she has enormous tits. Like HUGE. I wasn't even completely undressed at that point. She relieved me of all my clothes and proceeded to mount me. I played with those large breasts while she was on top and she got off multiple times, we were on our sides , spooning and kind of side-ways even, and then we finished off with a good old “pull my hair hard while you fuck me from behind”*

And when we were done, we got dressed, hung out for a few and just chatted until Josie got home. And it wasn't awkward at all. We just sat around, chatting we had done several times before. And then T excused herself to go home.

Since that day Josie hasn't been able to keep her hands off of me. She wanted to hear all the details and it seemed the more I told the more horny she got. Obviously, Josie is the opposite of vanilla and she wants to make a three-some happen at some point. However, T has a job that requires her to travel just far enough to make it difficult for scheduling any kind of get-together.
And I'm not going to push the issue. It happened, it was fantastic, mind-blowing sex, but if it never materializes to anything else from here on out, that's fine too.

I still love my wife and have absolutely NO desire to leave her or mess around behind her back. And I am sure she feels the same way. This may have been that “once-in-a-marriage-pass” that will never happen again or it could be that me and Josie have a new friend to “play” with. We'll see.

I'll keep you people updated.

*She was on birth control, I have been snipped and we used a condom. A current, clean bill of health would have to be presented and a contract of exclusivity would need to be drawn up before we could exclude the use of condoms.
It was still all kinds of awesome though.


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Anybody still reading this?

My laptop died and it's really tough to update from a tablet - much harder to type on, you know?

Everything is still going well for us and the kids. As a matter of fact, tonight we are going out to eat in NOLA to celebrate Josie's second oldest passing all of her teaching exams - she is officially a teacher and has been working as a substitute steadily since last year. We are also celebrating her youngest turning 21. (Not to mention my son turns 18 next month!)

Been trying to do some fishing lately with a buddy of mine and his dad but we just can't seem to get on any.
3 straight trips and not 1 fish. Very frustrating to say the least.

I would like to type up a proper rant about all the political, racial, and religious bullshit that keeps popping up on my Facebook feed but it would take forever on this tablet. I'm getting to the point of maybe just shutting it down.
I never intended to be subjected to "Hillary Clinton should be imprisoned, not elected.... Like and Share if you agree!" Or "Can this veteran get 1000 likes?" Or the worst - "this child/person/dog/sea lion/unicorn/chupacabra is ill. 1 Like = 1 prayer, 1 Share = 1000 prayers.... unless you are a horrible person, heathen, demon spawn of Satan, don't ignore this post, type 'Amen' for prayers."
My aunt and uncle are the worst and them typing Amen is the only reason it appears on my feed at all. I know I can set the ignore feature but then I miss the one or two things they post in a month I actually care to see.

Anywho, enough of that, I need to go pick up and shower for tonight. We are planning on staying at the oldest stepchild's apartment after dinner tonight so I need to pack a bag also.

So, I'm signing off...stay thirsty my friends.


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Yes, my house was one of 110,000 that got flooded.
1 foot of water was enough to ruin damn near everything.
We lost the step son's car, all the furniture, and gutted the house.
The only things we saved were my guns, two big boxes of keepsakes and 80% of our clothes.

There are so many stories I want to share and as soon as we get settled in the apartment will be living in starting Wednesday I'll start banging them out.

For now I'll just say that I can feel the overwhelming grief and loss, but I can also see the great acts of kindness and humanity.

We're all safe, and though we lost a lot, we came out far luckier than some.

More to come


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So much has happened since my last update:
The Flood
Gutting the flooded house (no small chore)
The holidays
Moving to a new place

Battling Insurance

Moving to another new place

3 Weddings

1 Funeral

Looking for and buying a new house (should close on it June 30)
My son’s Birthday / Graduation Party.

Still to come:
My son’s actual graduation

Closing on the new house

Moving to the new house

And now one of Josie’s daughters wants to get married in late September. This poses another issue as the youngest of Josie’s kids is roomates with the one getting married. So, now he will need a place to live…. REBUILD THE FLOODED HOUSE!

A buddy of mine and his dad who we also now consider a close friend have been beyond helpful in the gutting and soon the rebuilding of the flooded house.

It’s been such a whirlwind and frustrating and exciting and more than I can wrap my mind around. Josie has had some tough moments through it and to be honest, so have I. But it’s life and we’ll get through it.

The new house is wonderful. We’ve always like older homes with character and charm. This house feels like our old one and also like my grandmothers home. That’s important as that’s where we always celebrated holidays and important family get-togethers. It’s bigger, has a wonderful back patio for spending time outside, and a workshop + storage for my not-used-often-enough boat. I’m hoping to make the den look like an old english library/study. The type of place gentlemen (lol) sip bourbon, smoke cigars, and solve all the world’s problems, but also relax and watch a game. Josie can have the rest of the house to decorate as she sees fit.

I can’t believe my son graduates TOMORROW! He’s not that old… I’M not that old! Where did the time go? And I’m saying this as my son is the youngest and all of Josie’s kids graduated school and two of them from college a couple of years ago. I’m just kind of amazed that seems to have all happened right under my nose and they all went and grew up on me right before my eyes.

It will be an exciting few months to come but I’m looking forward to getting settled in, in a new town to learn, and get back to some sort of routine we call life. I just need to document it here a little better so that when I get old and senile, I can look back on it and relive it.


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Oh, what a huge update…

Josie is leaving her retail job in da 'hood. Now, she will an office manager, working regular hours with NO Saturdays and getting all the normal holidays off. It will be a pretty substantial cut in pay but sales have been bad the past several months and her coworkers are stressing about their future as well. My wife saw an opportunity to move along before it gets really bad. This new job will be a steady salary plus a little commision but the salary is enough to pay the bills. Now, we will be able to do normal weekend things and it will allow us to take a lot more mini-vacations to visit friends and family.

EXCEPT... My ex-wife calls me last night and asks if I'm driving, standing, or sitting....yeah, we all know this isn't going to be good.

She informs me that they (her, her husband, their daughter, and my son) are moving to TAIWAN. Something about her husband's job relocating him, huge opportunity for them, great learning experience for the kids, blah blahblah blah fucking blah. She literally talked non-stop for 20 minutes (i timed it) before I could get a word in edgewise, telling me about how fast everything was moving, what details she had and which ones she's waiting on and how my son is actually looking forward to it. It'll be 18 months in Taiwan then 18 more in China. After that, they may move back to Louisiana... "may"

My son will be 20 years old this year, and I'm sure i've mentioned he's autistic (on the mild end of the spectrum) so ultimately, if he doesn't like it, he can decide after 6 months if he wants to leave them behind and come live with me to stay. If he decides to leave them in Asia, there is no going back until they are done with those 3 years and they move somewhere permanent. I need to add that we divorced when he was 2, so for the past 18 years the longest he's ever lived with me is 3 weeks at a time. Either way, this is going to be a huge adjustment - looking at a clock to see when we can call/skype or even just texting. 7 years ago I could pick him up to go out to eat, or the movies, or visit any time I wanted. Then they moved to Houston and I either had to wait for them to come in to visit or plan a long weekend to go see him (which wasn't very cost effective). Now they will fly in 3 times a year and I'll get to seem him a couple of weeks each time they do. OR, he may hate it and end up living with me permanently.

And here, we thought my wife's middle child, who got married last year, now moving 4 hours away was going to be a big adjustment.

On the good side, Josie’s youngest, my step-son, proposed to his girlfriend - she said yes - and they are planning the wedding to happen in about 2 years. He also applied for and got his first "adult" job as a Process Operator at a refinery/chemical plant here locally. That's big as it's regarded as a great place to work, with great benefits, they treat their employees well, and they have wonderful retirement plans... this is the same company that is relocating the ex-wife and family.

Lastly, we are making real progress moving back to the house that flooded in 2016. We're even making small improvements because my wife still knows people that know people from her days selling real estate, so she finds contractors that do good work that are not expensive.

Everyone else is happy and healthy. Right now, even though I'm personally sad and upset about my son being on the other side of the world, I'm trying to remain positive and look at the big picture.