Bring that weak-ass new school shit!

A

Ari

Really Cute Talking Puppy
#1
#1
See you next week in Cagematch, Joe Ro$$ Tribe. Joe Ross Tribe vs. Pound.... now the student becomes the student again, sukka.

Look upon me, Joe Ross, and know this: You are going to get fucked up like the new subway system. So your new-school ass can by a Metrocard Fun Pass and take the brand-new W train for whup-ass while Pound drives by in our Lexuses.

Q: Who's the Joe Ross Tribe's favorite NBA player?

A: Jerry Stackhouse.

It's on, motherfuckers. It's on.
 
D

Dave McKeel

Saggihilarious
#3
#3
You got it wrong...

...Stackhouse is our SECOND favorite NBA player. Our favorite is YO MAMA, BITCH!!
Oh yeah it's on... SHIT yeah!!!

Hey Ari, you're a coach... maybe you could give us notes after we beat you next
Thursday!

Ari: "You guys did an alright show I guess... I mean, the audience voted for you.
But you need to step it up in the meaningless-walk-on-department. You know,
like WE do it. Oops! Did I just give away our secret?"

Me: "You couldn't give it away if you tried, Happy."

Curtis: "I don't have time for this... I'm horny."

Look at me, Pound, & know this... you are gonna get slapped up and down like a
kid riding in a basket at the supermarket who's reaching for all the expensive shit.
So Bowie & Colton's old school asses can kiss mine... on their way to the N train!
Not the W! Cause that's all Broadway gets!!

I'll try to wave from my cab.

Bring it on, Pound. We'll leave the crystal meth home this time. What about you?


p.s. Oh shit, I live on the Broadway stop too...

p.p.s. Don't hit me...


p.p.p.s. ...i'm so lonely...
 
G

Gethard

Daaaarrrrryyyllll
#4
#4
I get it!

Stackhouse? Stackhouse! I get it! It's heavily verbal humor, because we Stacked the House - hence STACKHOUSE!

Man, who would have thought that Ari Voukydis would throw down heavily verbal humor? We'd better watch out, this is evidence that he's really making an effort to expand his game for Thursday - including heavily verbal humor alongside his well known penchant for... heavily verbal humor.

My favorite NBA player is actually Mahmoud Abdul-Rahuf. He has Tourret's syndrome, so if he messes up, he does it again and gets it right. He takes over 5000 free throws a day. That's like the Jiggity Riggity - we've tied, we've had controversial wins, but dammit, we're gonna get it right.

- Gethard
 
A

Ari

Really Cute Talking Puppy
#5
#5
uh oh....

I see the George W. Bush tribe has added "sarcasm" to their mighty arsenal.

Now we're in for it.

See you in heck, boys.
 
C

Car

Na
#6
#6
Re: ............

Originally posted by Curjay
Alright you punk-asses. I've heard quite enough. All I can say is....I saw Pound do their new"organic" opening last Thursday....

It does my heart good to see that those talky old geezers and stationary players quit that conversation opening thing and tried to join the youth movement by sputtering, muttering and half-heartedly making "whoosh" noises as they spun in circles around stage. If Pound wants to rent out the JRT opening they can have it for $19.95 per show.

The secret is, you mix organics WITH scenic moves to generate the optimum amount of information to use in your work......WHOOPS! DAMMIT! I just gave it away for free.

I guess it's only right that we share our skills so the whole theater can improve!

:up:

All said with a loving wink to a group of players I respect.
Click to expand...
Hey Curt-ass.

JRT opening? DAMN! I think i smell copyright infringement. Monkeydick will see you in court.

Brian

All said with a smirk to a player who covers his ass
 
S

sugarshac

so fresh
#7
#7
real

I CAME OUT MY MOMS SNATCH DOING SPOT SCENES FOOLS! 9 years ago I was gettting paid for this shit, and I'm still younger than some of the trick-ass hoes on your team. WHAT! Better button up that shirt Getherd, cause this old school shits coming like John Holms up in Marilyn Chambers face. And organics? Yeah I gots some organics for ya...these nuts! So please bring your broke ass, training wheel, false confident, foolish pride shit box 'herold' team up on stage, bring all your friends too. And at 12:15 just rember...I like it when you play with my balls while you puff my clak. just so you know.........
peace
colton

p.s. feel free to like my asshole too, dog
 
B

Bernie

Uh oh--He thought again.
#8
#8
I don't think I'll be puffing anybody's clak. I'll play with your balls. Just put'em there and I'll play with them. I'll play with them cuz it's fun. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fun. It'll be fun to kick your ass, after we do a yippie fun harold. Now, I have 2 more things to address.


Ya'll KEEP your F'n Hands off of Gethard. You leave that punk alone. Same goes for Curtis, and Mckeel. You leave my boys alone. Cuz if you fucking step, I'll meet your ass, old school, new school, whirling monkey style, it don't matter what it takes, I'm comming to play. So yeah SugarShak, I'll like your ass, when it's the only part of you I haven't Fucked up. Then I'll fuck your ass up.

One more thing... George W. Bush Tribe? I'm trying to figure that one out. Is that some kind of analogy, like poor George W. just figured out sarcasm, and like we're stupid like him? Or we've made some republican like remarks? I got Stackhouse, but I'll admit it was with the help of Gethard, so I'm not the smartest. But George W. Bush Tribe, I'm lost, I really am....
 
F

Frank Gondorchin

changes aren't permanent
#9
#9
My dear Bernie, I do believe that some members of your opposition are attempting to make the rather specious claim that your win was illegitimate, drawing a poor comparison to the circumstances surrounding the rise to power of our current President.

Do not be swayed. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and who's got the twelve pounds of gold? Awwww yeah.

But be sure to polish that belt up nice and shiny, you don't want to piss off the Swarm.
 
A

Ari

Really Cute Talking Puppy
#10
#10
Frank wrote:

<quote>My dear Bernie, I do believe that some members of your opposition are attempting to make the rather specious claim that your win was illegitimate, drawing a poor comparison to the
circumstances surrounding the rise to power of our current President. </quote>

Ahem.... Frank, meet Dave McKeel. Dave, Frank.

Dave McKeel wrote:

<quote> If George W. Bush gets to stay in the motherfucking White House then I'm on that stage next Thursday.</quote>

Anyway, bring it on, Crazy Zoo:

http://www.blizzardrecords.com/bands/202/

PS: Wow, so you guys invented the organic opening, huh? Awesome! Congrats on also inventing the swinging door, the edit, mass production and the printing press. <i>L'etat, c'est you guys</i>.

Who's your coach, anyway?
 
S

sugarshac

so fresh
#12
#12
lil bernie kravitz

Hey Bern nice hair cut. Where'd you get it...at Gay McGays sallon? I think so.
And who taught you how to talk shit, Baby bop or fucking elmo. You pussy licker. I remeber Big Bern in the back room of Telephone bar and grill, standing with his peter in his hand trying to figure out what an innitation was. And fuck Getherd, Gwinn, and McKeel, you second rate improvisers make me wanna suck off a homeless Jamacian. Your teams made up of a bunch of five cent hoes and I'm bringing a sack of nickles so dress nice.
whats my name!
 
U

UncleSally

baby wrangler
#15
#15
I will honestly admit that Pound has something that the Joe Ross Tribe Doesn't. A losing streak.

Now this is okay, you can work through it. Thursday will hopefully be 4 really good harolds, or Joe Ross will just entertain everyone, it's up to you guys really no seriously. You can throw all the four letter words you want at us, or maybe challenge yourself up to 5 or 6. We will come and we will provide, cause as Joe Ross has always intended, we were built to show we are you.

Did that Baseball Hat, backpack, basketball, water bottle bit come out of your mom's snatch too Colton? Cause maybe you should of stopped using 9 years ago when you were getting paid for this shit.



Why do you think John's middle name is Ross? Joe Ross is in control. John Ross Bowie is a great coach.
 
S

sugarshac

so fresh
#16
#16
come on now.

Seriously guys let the shit talk be shit talk don't take no offense. We'll all do good shows cause we'er all good and we've all worked hard to get here. I respect everyone on both teams highly but Cagematch is a competion and in competion you shit talk.....with that said.

No fool I got that bit out of yours!
 
Jessica Myles

Jessica Myles

Member
#19
#19
Upping the ante

Just thought I'd mention that I am going to be giving a plate of freshly - baked chocolate chip cookies to the team that wins. I know it may sound kind of silly and all, but I feel like Cage Match isn't just about winning anymore - it's about getting stuff, both metaphysically, and now, physically.

So, yeah, that's it. Also, this will be like your mom congratulating you for a job well done, except it's me, and I may not look like your mom.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top