Behind the Husk

[brandon]

For the longest time I've wanted to write a journal. I've wanted to share a piece of myself here for all to see. So what has been stopping me? I'm boring, most of you people don't even know who I am, and I can think of zero reasons for you to know me. I'm mind numbingly dull.

My solution? Don't write about me, write about someone interesting. Like Brian Huskey.

a few ground rules:

1. This journal will be observations of the day to day life of Mr. Huskey.

2. If you have any Huskey leads you may E-mail, Private Message, or Instant Message (mansonroast) me, but know that this will not be a rumor mill, I will investigate all Huskey news before posting.

3. This is an unauthorized journal.

 

[brandon]

1st entry

Monday, April 29, 2002 12:07-12:12pm

HUSK SIGHTING -

Brian Huskey (Naked Babies, Optimist International) stopped by the Ucb Theatre this afternoon. Lot's to talk about...


1. Brian had an audition in the area and stopped by to talk to Brian DeSmatt ( who was out). The audition was " OK"

2. He was wearing an orange hat, that I had not seen before. I think it might it be new, I expect to see more of it.

3. We did a short bit about not being Friends

Brian - OH! It's You.
me - What do you want?
and so on....

4. BIG SCOOP - I asked how his weekend was and Huskey answered

"It was a mixed Bag"

I then asked about the Universal Studios commerical he shot last week in Florida, and He said,

"It was really weird, you know", as only Huskey can say.

Then he left....

HUSK RANKING - on a sclae of one to ten, I give this HUSK ENCOUNTER a

7

all in all, a great start.

 

[brandon]

Not to be corny, but I've been huskey all day

Wednesday, May 1st, 2002 11:58 am - 12:22 pm

HUSK SIGHTING -

Huskey spent about half an hour at the theatre this afternoon.

He showed up in a shirt and tie talking on a cell-phone and wearing a deniem jacket, looking very much the rock-star.

HUSK QUOTES - uneditted huskisms!!!!!!!

"Talk to Huskey!!!!"

"let's try to live"

"Guys... We are Done."

"I like you hat Brandon"

HUSK REPORT - confirmed!

How does Huskey plan to spend this beutifiul MayDay?

Playing badminton with Mantzoukis in Brooklyn.


HUSK RATING : 8.5

 

[brandon]

From HUSK til dawn!!!

Thursday, May 2, 2002 3:58pm - 4:37pm

HUSK SIGHTING

Brian Huskey agian spent some of his afternoon at the Theatre.:love:

He was on his way from an audition and get this, He asked my advice on something!!!!!!!

The HUSKlights:

1. He said that he soundly defeated Mantzoukis in badminton yesterday (2 sets to 1)...

2. He had to decide whether or not to take a job, and Asked My Advice. I said yes you should do it!!!! He later called and told the guy he would not do it.

3. He said "see you tonight, champ"

Sorry there is not more but I was very busy when he came in.

HUSK TIP:

You can see Brian yourself on the UCB stage tonight @ 8:00pm.

HUSK RATING: 1.9

The HUSK mailbag:

Since starting this journal I have been flooded with private msg's and e-mails. Most are questions, so I will answer them as best as I can. You may send a comment... Since I want people's real opinions I will post them anonymously.

Here is one to get us started, This is a very real comment:

"Your journal is like "Variety" with poor spelling. Did I mention you're a plagerizing bastard?"

And here is my real response:

"Plagerizing??? Does someone else have a Huskey Journal? Amd as for the bad spelling, FCUK YOU!!!!"

 

[brandon]

Help Huskey!!!!

Monday, May 6, 2002 2:45-3:01 pm

Brian Huskey was at the Theatre.... and something is wrong!!!!

HUSK SIGHTING -

Brian was at the Theatre earlier. He put on a brave face, but I think something may be wrong.

We made Small talk about Spider-man... Then he was leaving and he said...

"Now your playing with my feelings... I'm outta here, I'm about to cry."

How can I tell this was not just a HUSK BIT, you ask. I've been chronicling the life of Huskey for longer than I can remember. This is a man who needs a hug. So I beg my trusted readers, I beg you, If you see Brian Huskey, Hug Him:love:

Hug him tight, and say "Be Strong Brian Huskey, Be Strong", he would do it for you.

HUSK RATING

8.2

 

[brandon]

Husk for Life

The HUSK MAILBAG -

Another Anonymous E-mail-

"Will here. Chris Butler just hipped me to your journal. It is, by far, the greatest joy in my life right now. A) Because there is finally a thread devoted exclusively to Brian Huskey, the improviser I want to be when I grow up and B) The hilarity (and that's a word I never type) of your reportage. I will make this a regular stop on every IRC visit.

Godspeed,
Will"

I haven't had a HUSK sighting in a couple days, and since people are enjoying the journal, I have a plan. I will be starting a JUNIOR HUSK WATCHERS program. To be a JUNIOR HUSK WATCHER e-mail me. All JUNIOR HUSK WATCHERS will recieve a day of HUSK TRAINING, the ability to post HUSK SIGHTINGS, and a press pass that identifies you as a JUNIOR HUSK WATCHER.

Lets hunt HUSK.

 

[brandon]

HUSK-a-LUSK

Sorry it's been so long since my last HUSK update. I've Been So Busy...

HUSK SIGHTING

Wednesday, May 8th, 2002 10:27pm-11:50pm

I saw Husk at MacManus and He looked Great!!!!!!!!

I guess all the Hugs worked because HUSK'S lust for life was back. He came with his level two students after there last class. And DIG THIS he was Wearing the orange hat for the first entry.

The HUSKlights:

When asked what his favorite soup was he said

"All of them"

Later when somebody asked me what my favorite part of HUSKEY is I said,

:love:"All of Him":love:

HUSK BITS

HUSK did a very BLUE BIT. VERY BLUE. It was about the different liquids that come out of his penis.

Funny Huskey

HUSK JOURNAL NEWS -

I think people might be tipping HUSK off as to the nature of this Journal.

Stop it. I'm serious. I don't need to deal with this.

HUSK RATING - 9.3



A special note to all my JUNIOR HUSK WHATCHERS

thax for all the e-mails. I will be in contact soon.

Have a HUSKEY weekend

 

[brandon]

HUSK-HODGEPODGE

I've been busy so I'm a little behind.

HUSK SIGHTING -
Friday, May 10, 2002 12:45-1:10pm

HUSK was in agian and GUESS WHAT???!!!!

He was wearing the same orange hat!!!! That's right the very hat I mentioned in my first HUSK SIGHTING

He said he was going to see the hot "Y Tu Mama Tambien". I said why don't you see "Spider-Man" and He Said {HUSK QUOTE}

"No man, I wanna get my junk hard."

HUSK RATING: 9.1


And Now a first for the HUSK JOURNAL, It's our first JUNIOR HUSK WHATCHER REPORT. It comes via e-mail from Euripides. And is in reference to the McManus HUSK SIGHTING


JUNIOR HUSK WHATCHER REPORT -

This is the message:

I too was at McManus that night. I was out-scooped by Brandon, but I was
afforded a perspective that was obscured from Brandon.

I witnessed Husk and Rob Heubel doing a very quick bit with each other. I
didn't notice it was a bit until it was over. Husk was talking in a very
natural but animated manner to Heubel. Then Husk began to count to five on
his fingers then mimed hitting Heubel in the crotch. Heubel, who I don't
think knew he was in a bit, rolled right along with it.

But that's all I've seen of him in a week.

Euripides

HUSK NEWS -

Also, a big HUSK Thanx to the people that built the HUSK Shrine in the box office, Whoever you all.

Dyna Moe was in today and saw it. She Said, " I love Huskey more than you."

I said, " I don't love Huskey, I mearly document his life. His every move. His thoughts..." I think I trailed off.

Dyna Pointed out she and Huskey were friends, and that they went to movies and shit. HUSKEY and I don't have that kinda relationship.:nervous:

 

[brandon]

I'm not a fat kid, I'm HUSKEY

More from The HUSK MAILBAG, another very real, unedited, anonymous letter:

----------------------------------------------------------------
"Stop It, Please.

Your journal makes me not want for us to be friends anymore.
Also stop being such a fucking copy-cat.
Also, spell check. "Watcher" is what I believe you were going for, unless you're attmepting to brand your neurotic gay-improv crush. If that is the case then God help you.
__________________
Roy Wood|Boulders

*MY KICKASS VAN @ UCB May 16th, 9:30- Bran Sez: Don't be such a fucking nerd, man! Make your friends wait in line for you, then hook up post Harold for EP2.
*CARDBOARD FOLLIES! @ FLIPSIDE MAY 18th, 9:30 pm, June 1st, 8:00 pm/with Firestorm @ SURF REALITY, Saturdays at Midnight in June
*THE VIVIAN GIRLS @ FLIPSIDE MAY 18th, 8:00 pm/with Firestorm in BELOW KLEPTOMANIA: THE PROM SHOW @ SURF REALITY, SATURDAYS @ 10 pm IN JUNE
*PETE & BRANDY IN TANGERINE...COMING SOON!"

--------------------------------------------------------

I Guess not even one is a HUSK JOURNAL fan. Some backlash is to be expected. Not everyone understands HUSKEY. Below is my very real response:

:nervous: spelling is not my strong suit. I will miss your friendship. why won't anyone love me?

JUNIOR HUSK WHACTHER REPORT #2

Our new spy, Scoop sent this over!!!!

----------------------

"Have I got a scoop for you, chief!  I spotted him on line to register for
classes!  He was there bright n' early, and I think he even got his first
choice (Delaney's level 3...can you believe it?!!).  It was totally
exciting!  Don't worry, I don't think he saw me whatching him!

I've got Brian on the brain!

Sincerely,
Scoop "
-----------------------
HUSKEY taking a Level 3 class, That is a scoop!!!!

 

[brandon]

HUSKEY RETRACTION!!!!!!

Yesterday I posted a JUNIOR WHACTHER REPORT by our new spy Scoop. That report has proven to beFALSE

Our Spy did not see BRIAN HUSKEY at all, but a student named BRIAN HUSS. We apologize for the error. To be honest I'm just sick about it. This is Bullshit. How can I expect him to love me if I Can't even keep my facts right!!!! And Who is this BRIAN HUSS, hey dude why don't you wear a shirt that reads "NOT BRIAN HUSKEY".

And another thing, and this goes to all of you:

STOP TALKING TO BRIAN HUSKEY ABOUT THIS JOURNAL!!!!!!

What do you hope to accomplish by tipping him off!!??! I don't need this shit. Your going to make him afaid of me and I can't deal with that. If I so much as hear a rumor that one of you is thinking about talking to HIM about this journal I will DESTROY you!!!!.

I'm seriously considering quiting this journal.
WWHD.

 

[brandon]

HUSK-rat LOVE

I intended to make the annoucment that I was quiting the HUSK journal today. After last weeks diasterous post, I just lost the love of game. Then, I read your letters, and I'm back. Thanks for the kind words.

HUSK MAILBAG

Here is one of the letters I recieved, posted anonymously:

-------------------------
"I love Behind The Husk!

I do! Great journal. I actually look forward to reading it. And please tell *this guy* ...

"Stop It, Please.

Your journal makes me not want for us to be friends anymore...."

..that he needs to grow up and change his diaper. And start appreciating "BTH!"

What a cry-baby!

Sincerely,

Dave Serchuk
-------------------------

Wow thanks for the support.

HUSK JUNIOR WHATCHER REPORTS 3 & 4

Two new spys with reports. Welcome Super Sleuth and Patrica Hillbrook


-----------------------------
Oh my God! I was right next to Brian Huskey for a full hour yesterday. Here are some things I found out:

He's right handed. He and Corddry just did funny little bits together the whole time. He likes to draw weird little pictures with red pens. He carries with him pictures of people, possibly related to him. He likes the band Modest Mouse, or at least was wearing a shirt with their name on it.

He has a faux rage problem, but it's more amusing than scary.

Love,
Super Sleuth
------------------------

I saw Huskey LAST NIGHT! I had a show at UCBT and he was warming up with MY TEAM!! yeah totally. He kept making fun of one of my teammates, calling her an angry hippie. Others were afraid of him, so they joined in on the taunting. Just want the other Junior Huskers to be careful, he has a mean streak.

-Patricia Hillbrook
________________

A mean streak, thanks for the warning Pat.

 

[brandon]

in the HUSK of the night

HUSK SIGHTING

Tuesday, May 21, 2002 12:58pm-1:28pm

My first offical HUSK sighting in a while. THANK GOD!!! You will never guess what he was wearing!!! That's right the same ORANGE HAT. I told you I thought I would be seeing more of it, I told you in my first sighting.

HUSK had a disk for the postcard for the next BABIES show. The disk didn't work in my computer, and I was so EMBARESSED, but HUSK was so cool . He said it was probably his fault, SURE IT IS BRIAN HUSKEY, as if.

HUSK QUOTES

To me
"your hair is Bushy!"
he was right, my hair was bushy!

"Let me be Hilarious"
gladly, Brian Huskey, gladly.

to me
"get your dick outta your mind"
He was right my dick was in my mind:tsk:

HUSK RATING - 7.5

HUSK MAILBAG
another letter, another lost friend

---------------------------------------
I know you're Huskey journal has taken off, but I am still seriously hurt by your choice to replace your wonderful avatar of me with a picture of Huskey. You have deeply wounded me, Brandon. Perhaps you will gain a friend in Huskey by giving him your valuable avatar space, but you have also
lost a friend: me.

Goodbye, Brandon.

moogs.
---------------------------------------
Since I've started the journal, I've been pretty lonely. Did Margret Mead have it this bad?

JUNIOR HUSKEY WHAT-CHER REPORT 5

Our new JUNIOR HUSKEY WHATCHER is in the cast of a show HUSKEY is directing!!!! yeah!!!! Here is a report from last night's rehearsal, take it away jonesboy:

-----------------------------------------
he was running behind because of traffic on the brooklyn bridge.
huskey said he felt like he was coming down with a cold last night.
he was listening to modest mouse in his car on the way home.

jonesboy
-----------------------------------------

I hope HUSKEY stays Healthy!!!!

HUSK TEASE

I just recieved a report from my LA spy with some great HUSK news. I'll post it with the next report

 

[brandon]

HUSK in HELL-A

JUNIOR HUSK WHATCHER REPORT 6

HUSK MAILBAG

nother Letter
------------------------------------
good husk news

Brandon. Shotgun Wedding has been approved for the marathon. This means that YOU are going to be in a 30 minute show with HUSK.

What do you think about THAT?

CAPITOL LETTERs
--------------------------------------

Me and HUSK together? Finally!!!!!!!!!

 

[brandon]

The HUSK-KEY to my heart!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
Sorry it's been so long since my last entry, I've been busy. But not to worry I haven't forgotten HUSK. Big Update.

HUSK MAILBAG

Another anonymous letter.

And my response:
YOUR probably right. I'll stop posting pics, it's too much like someone elses journal anyway.

HUSK JUNIOR WHATCHAIR REPORT #7

Finally some hard facts. This e-mail was sent in by WADS our new HUSK JUNIOR WHATCHER, and it's great. PLEASE send my more things like this!!!! If you see HUSK drop something, send it in!!!! We had to black-out some of it, to keep from giving to much away, but it is FROM HUSKEY:love: and to the cast of a show he is directing!!! Just Read It!!!! Pure HUSK!!!!!

 

[brandon]

HUSK MAILBAG

I've decided that our previous letter was right. I will stop posting pictures of e-mails. Here is another actual letter...

Anonymous letter from Brandy

Here is my reply:

Thank you for your letter

 

[brandon]

HUSK-KEY-LAR-GO

It's been quite some time since I've had a authentic HUSK SIGHTING. Last night, my trusted LA spy SQUIRT MTV, said that HUSKEY is "feaked out" by the journal, and avoiding me... WHAT THE HELL is that supposed to mean? There was a time when that would DISCOURAGE me, but now it only COURAGES me. If HUSK won't come to me, I will have to go to HUSK.

Here is a JUNIOR WHATCER REPORT to hold you over, It comes to us from our newest spy, CODENAME: Amy Rhodes' Boyfriend.

HUSK JUNIOR WHA-CHER REPORT 8-
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian, upon arrival, asked the 10 men already waiting at Beth Melsky's if
he could go ahead of everyone as he had a "plane to catch". And he put that
in quotes with his fingers, "plane to catch." I asked how much cash he had;
he offered his wedding ring and his shoes. When I asked him where he was
going, he said, "away."

I asked if he was on a team with Shannon O'Neill, he said "yes." i introduced myself as Amy Rhodes' boyfriend. He said Amy was "very funny", to which I said, "I love her." We laughed. When the casting director returned, she began making up a list of who would be paired together. Brian asked if he could "throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing" by going first. He did not put that in finger quotes.

The casting director was a bit frustrated by this, as she had already made out the list. She said, "alright," and crumpled the list fairly loudly while exhaling and made out a new one with Brian in the first group. He apologized. He went in. He left. I went in immediately after.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Wedding ring!!!! HUSK isn't married, IS HE?

I promise you my readers That I will have a HUSK sighting by FRIDAY. He can't hide from me forever.

HUSK NEWS

As I'm sure you know The HUSK JOURNAL is hugely popular, and ready to explode. Because of this I asked Kevin to give the HUSK JOURNAL a whole HUSK FORUM. He said no. So I will soon be taking this little show on the road. In the coming weeks this JOURNAL will leave the IRC and MOVE to it's new home huskmania42.edu

 

[brandon]

A slice of HUS-KEY LIME PIE

So much to talk about!!! Praise HUSK!

Junior Husk Wieghtchar Report #9

Nother first for BTH!!! Our first Photo Report!!! And It is worth 1 words!!! It comes to us from kittens4ever!!

More stuff like this HUSK JUNIOR WHAT-CHAIRS, I want pics , e-mails, dna, pages from diarys....

--------------------------------------------
HUSK REPORT

HUSK breezed in the other day for Girl Crush practice!!! He didn't have alot of time to talk, but he did leave his stuff in the green room!!!!

THE ORANGE HAT!!!! oh yeah mo-fo!!!!!! I could feel it's power.


HUSK RATING - 9.8

HUSK JOURNAL NEWS -

I would like to give a big husk journal shoot-out to DJ Jimmy Olsen, our technical adviser and the man responsable for posten' the pics. WORD.

Well as you all know I have had some problems with IRC and the Gestapo manner in which they are ran. I decieded to give Mullaney one more chance to keep BTH!

LAST STRAW... THIS WILL BE MY LAST UPDATE UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!!!!

 

[brandon]

I'm Getting The HUSK outta here!!!

Husk Journal News -

As I'm sure everyone knows, Kevin Mullaney (who is clearly jealous at the success of BEHIND THE HUSK) is forcing me to leave the IRC. He is doing so by not giving me my own HUSKY forum, whitch is BULLSHIT. I'm making arangements with another Improv based web site to make the move.

CALL TO ACTION

I'm also begging for help. Please FANS OF HUSK, I don't wanna leave, Please e-mail Kevin and tell him that you won't stand for this. If we all satnd together he will have to give us the forum That BRAIN HUSKEY deserves. Let's not forget who this is about. It's not about you Kevin, It's about HUSKEY!!!

HUSK JUNIOR WATGER REPORT - #10

The indenity of this new spy is so super top secret I haven't even given her a codename.

-------------------------------------------------

OK, listen.

I am really going out on a limb here giving you this report.  
Please do not use my real name.  PLEASE! Huskey once told me that
he would "fucking kill me" if I was a Junior Husk Watcher.  And I
could see from the sick gleam in his eye that he was telling the
truth.

This is hard for me to say.  After the opening of GIRL CRUSH, Husk
was in a really good mood.  The show went well and Husk was basking
in the directorial glow at McManus.  He asked if I wanted a ride
home, since I live pretty close to him.  Husk had imbibed a few
beers, so I thought twice about it.  But I did want to get home as
I was tired from a busy week (my one person show, BIG VAGINA
MONOLOGUES had re-opened that week also)!  So I agreed.  BIG
MISTAKE!

I was safely buckled in and Husk was driving over the Brooklyn
Bridge (I never know why he insists on taking the Brooklyn Bridge,
as we live closer to the Manhattan Bridge...but whatever) and we
were chatting.  I turned to say something to Huskey about the Girl
Crush show and I noticed he was sweating.  I remember thinking,
"That is weird.  It is cool out and we have the windows down."  
Anyway I was asking him about this scene I am in where I am an evil
villain in the show and I looked down and I noticed that Huskey had
his PENIS IN HIS HAND and he had (in Huskey parlance) a ROCK HARD
WEINER and he was methodically JERKING IT OFF!  He wasn't even
listening to me...he was muttering 'I'm funny, I'm funny I'm funny'
over and over again.  It was so disturbing.  So I said, "Huskey
what the fuck?"  And he said, "Shut up, Jezebel! Unless you want
to eat my weiner."  Ewwwww-city!  Thank god my boyfriend, Jon Daly,
was in the car and he stopped the madness.  He was like, "Huskey
what the fuck?  Put your dick back in your pants."

So fucking gross!  Anyway I hope this helps.  And I hope you are
not too upset that Huskey likes to jerk-off in front of the ladies.  
Most girls would be really upset...and I was.  But then I realized
just how special I was.

Love,

(name withheld)

------------------------------------------------------------

I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm Shocked!!! I can't belive how lucky she was, I will ask Husky for a ride the very next time I see him...

I'm working with skecth artist to recret that great moment.

Goodbye IRC, I will miss you.

 

[brandon]

BTH Season 2

Starting next week, Behind the Husk launches it's second star-powered season. We will get closer to the HUSK than you ever thought possible.


Junior Husk WHATSHER reports have been coming in all summer, so join us this FALL for BTH 2.

New Surprise Guests, New Amazing interviews, Same old Huskey

PS - Season One DVD's Now Avalible at SAM GOODY. Bonus features include: directors commentary, Lost Posts, and "Do the Husk" music video.