I love Joe, and Joe loves me. We've been together for almost two years now. Living together for about one. We have lots of happy, fun times in this apartment, but I can get pretty bitchy and he can be quite the cocksucker. It's hard havin a roommate man! We argue about the lamest things. So far today we've had a few squabbles about:
It's good for the lil kitty to eat. Yeah, so we're both lazy bitches and neither of us wanted to get up and refill the dish. It's lame because if either one of us were sitting around alone and noticed he needed more food, we would just get up and do it. But if we're both here, we'll try to get the other person to do it instead. We argued for a few minutes about who should get up and do it, and neither of us had a good defense because we were both just sitting on our computers doing nothing important whatsoever. These kinds of arguments always end in me saying "FINE then, I'll do it, of course. You can't do a goddamn thing yourself." When I actually was the first to try to pawn off the chore..
Joe is out of shampoo. Again! Man. I never understand this. He goes through like 15 bottles before I finish one. When he showers he'll like cup his hand and squeeze for a minute straight or something until his hand can't possibly hold any more shampoo. Why!?!? His hair is so short, he does Not need that much to wash it. Yet he honestly believes that's the amount it takes to get his hair clean. I tried to explain to him that he can use 1/12 of that and just scrub harder and longer, but he can be pretty stubborn. I'm giving up on this one soon.
Joe q-tips his ears every morning like a clean little guy, but he leaves the used tips Everywhere. eww. He does this after he blows his nose, too. If I ever try to do this, which is a rarity since it's so gross, he gets mega annoyed. Ah fuck you Joe.
The phone went missing again. Our apartment is decent sized, but it's not huge at all. It should be easy to find something phone-sized. Should be, but it isn't. Joe misplaces the same things a lot. His keys, his hat, the nail clippers, the scissors, the stamps, the bag of change, and the phone. We argue about it every time it happens. "There is a place for this, JOE, so put it back after you use it!" With his keys and his hat, that's just his problem. But everytime they're put God knows where, he bitches at me to find them for him and tries to blame me for their lost-ness. Uh, wha? Bite me.
I couldn't help laughing at Joe when he started complaining that the pillow cases don't match, and they should. Ok, we've been living together for a year and they have never matched once. Because we don't have matching pillow cases. All of them are close enough I figure, they have a flowery thing goin on or something with butterflies. He called them all "country bumpkin" today and said we should go out and buy new ones that match immediately. I figured he, like most guys, didn't care at all, if they even noticed their pillow had a case. He got annoyed (he's been pissy today, good thing he's napping right now) when I said we won't have enough money for extra shit like that for at least a month. Jeez, Joe, relax.
I'm aware that most of our little arguments are lame and boring, but they amuse me because I love Joe to pieces, and I think in our own retarded way, fighting about petty things brings us as close as can be.
It's good for the lil kitty to eat. Yeah, so we're both lazy bitches and neither of us wanted to get up and refill the dish. It's lame because if either one of us were sitting around alone and noticed he needed more food, we would just get up and do it. But if we're both here, we'll try to get the other person to do it instead. We argued for a few minutes about who should get up and do it, and neither of us had a good defense because we were both just sitting on our computers doing nothing important whatsoever. These kinds of arguments always end in me saying "FINE then, I'll do it, of course. You can't do a goddamn thing yourself." When I actually was the first to try to pawn off the chore..
Joe is out of shampoo. Again! Man. I never understand this. He goes through like 15 bottles before I finish one. When he showers he'll like cup his hand and squeeze for a minute straight or something until his hand can't possibly hold any more shampoo. Why!?!? His hair is so short, he does Not need that much to wash it. Yet he honestly believes that's the amount it takes to get his hair clean. I tried to explain to him that he can use 1/12 of that and just scrub harder and longer, but he can be pretty stubborn. I'm giving up on this one soon.
Joe q-tips his ears every morning like a clean little guy, but he leaves the used tips Everywhere. eww. He does this after he blows his nose, too. If I ever try to do this, which is a rarity since it's so gross, he gets mega annoyed. Ah fuck you Joe.
The phone went missing again. Our apartment is decent sized, but it's not huge at all. It should be easy to find something phone-sized. Should be, but it isn't. Joe misplaces the same things a lot. His keys, his hat, the nail clippers, the scissors, the stamps, the bag of change, and the phone. We argue about it every time it happens. "There is a place for this, JOE, so put it back after you use it!" With his keys and his hat, that's just his problem. But everytime they're put God knows where, he bitches at me to find them for him and tries to blame me for their lost-ness. Uh, wha? Bite me.
I couldn't help laughing at Joe when he started complaining that the pillow cases don't match, and they should. Ok, we've been living together for a year and they have never matched once. Because we don't have matching pillow cases. All of them are close enough I figure, they have a flowery thing goin on or something with butterflies. He called them all "country bumpkin" today and said we should go out and buy new ones that match immediately. I figured he, like most guys, didn't care at all, if they even noticed their pillow had a case. He got annoyed (he's been pissy today, good thing he's napping right now) when I said we won't have enough money for extra shit like that for at least a month. Jeez, Joe, relax.
I'm aware that most of our little arguments are lame and boring, but they amuse me because I love Joe to pieces, and I think in our own retarded way, fighting about petty things brings us as close as can be.
Last edited:
