An Hour on the F train

[gktkd]

Tried to buy a cell phone yesterday that would double as a minidictophone. No luck. Especially with dinner the very funny jeremy tomorrow evening and I would love to be able to tape the whole thing because we just sit there and bounce jokes and stupid shit off each other. But my lack of short term memory can't remember any nuggets of conversation that would be at all useful.

Realized I can't afford the class i signed up for (shit) and that I have applied to no new jobs. I see the phase writing samples and I freeze. My entire writing samples collective dates back to 2001. New additions are nil.

I'm really behind in my emails to my peeps outside the area code. I've been improv/comedy or bust (bust meaning my ass stoned on my couch) for the past couple of months. I hung out with the lovely Joy yesterday rather drunkily and being crazy in 2x4. I haven't talked to Lisa since she came to visit last. I haven't sent an email longer or more involved than four evenly spaced lines since I could last remember.

Haven't been reading much either. I just finished a collection of critical commentaries based on Sex and the City, which when I realized I was noting errors in the book (like naming the wrong actor), that my fascination with the show has grown out of hand.

Which brings me to my ongoing attempt to write a chick lit book.

To be continued

 

[gktkd]

Class show was Saturday and came out much better than I thought it would. Took a while to find the game in the first beat. It was a toss up between nonchalant gravediggers or gravediggers that talked shit about other families in the town. In the second beat, we became highly educated but totally inept (and nonchalant about it) nuclear plant specialists. We got through the scene without out and out Simpsons' rip offs so double bonus. All the scenes were pretty good, at the least they were entertaining. So I'm pretty stoked about that.

Speaking of Harolds, I'm going to Harold night tomorrow night. Will probably see Greg (awesome cat from Level I) and really need to ask him about a practice group. I got to get into some thing. I have class during Drinkytown so that knocks out my outside class arena. I've been thinking about maybe doing a Monday intensive.

Other than my class show, i didn't go to a single show this week. I kept saying I was going to see Cagematch last week but I got drunk with Jeremy instead. Drinking was the theme of the week. Tuesday- drinking with joy after class, Thursday was drinking and dining with jeremy, Saturday show- drinking with Joy (at 2x4 again- there was lots of bar dancing). And I applied to maybe 5 jobs all week.

I am not going to kid myself and list the things I want to accomplish this weekend

I should play pattern game with myself.

I should submit a movie to medicinefilms.com

I should write sketchs with Amy.

I ought to play my traffic ticket. I received a moving violation when looking for La Tacqueria in Park Slope (totally muthafarka' lost). You cannot, I repeat, You cannot make a left turn from third avenue on to Atlantic Avenue. You will get a 90 dollar ticket.
In addition, I did not go jail about my expired tag. I said it was because I had gotten the car from my dad, he died and I just haven't switched it over yet as I hand him my brooklyn driver's liscence and Florida insurance.

Bob Creamerm, head of the company that put me onto the campaign during the 2002 cycle has been indicted for cheack-cashing fraud or something that small time and petty sounding. The authorities caught onto him because he bounced a one million dollar check. Here's that for progressives and their highly developed moral code.

 

[gktkd]

It's still snowing. Doesn't bode well for me going into the city for Harold night. I still have errands I need to do only it's snowing and I'm freezing. My landlord has decided to keep the heat way down low and the hot water for the shower down there as well.

Being a little more productive, however, in the confines of my home.

Saw "school of rock" further heightening my love for Jack Black. I'm obsessed with his eyebrows. His character in "High Fidelity" is my dream man, butt crack and all. It was a good movie. The kids were cute, but I'm glad none of them are one of mine, I can tell you that. Sarah Silverman was divinely bitchy.

to follow in line with the themes of High Fidelity and in line with the 25 funniest americans list in EW, I will now present to you a stream of my personal Top 5s:

Top 5 Funniest
1) Dave Chappelle (Honorable Mention- Charlie Murphy)- All the man has to say is "Bitch" or "shit" and I'm howling.
2) Lara Kitlinger's Pulp Comics- I know this is super old but I just saw it a couple weeks ago. Whenever I think of her pimping out the band of moms...
3) Aaron McGruder- If you don't think he's funny than you must have missed W's AWOL doll and Condi's matchmaking series.
4) My best friend, Lisa "Neunderstruck" Neunder- Right now she's in law school at Boston University but I'm on a mission from God to talk her into moving to New York after graduation and chasing down the funny with me. She's going through this whole "I miss being creative" stage and I am desperately trying to take advantage of it for my own comedic benefit. The two of us would be unstoppable. We used to re-enact scenes from John Leguizamo's short-lived but highly hilarious sketch show back in the day. There's just not enough Latina Queens of Comedy.
5) Michael Patrick King- Sex and the City is damn funny. Yeah, I said it! What?

Top 5 Things On my mind
1) How long does the laundromat hold clothes that were dropped off?
2) What was the name of John Leguzamo's sketch show? (one vote for house of buggin')
3) The 12 Principles in the last entry in Billy Merritt's Improv Party (not really sure how to insert links)
4) Characters for my chick lit novel that I swear I will write before the next influx of "Devil wears prada" wannabes/sketchs (never written one before)/ ::gasp:: writing samples for prospective employers
5) How much snow is too much snow for a trip over to Harold night?

 

[gktkd]

Experiment of the day- How is parking if I drive into the city on a Thursday night? I really want to see Cagematch, but at the same time, I really don't want to take the F in.

Before this morning, I haden't left the house in three days. I was getting sloggy. Couldn't remember what side of the street my car was parked on. I woke up at 7, got up about 8 and went to the gym. Shot some hoops- perk of the gym earlier in the day more access to cool stuff.

No solid job leads today (mediabistro don't fail me now). But I am going to start pursuind some part-time service job.

TBC

 

[gktkd]

I never made it to cagematch. I must have been drunk. I missed Harold night last night, but that's because I know I was drunk (and spend an ungoldy amount of money- that I don't have-cha cha cha).

Still no job in sight. Have I applied to any? No No No. Slightly depressed? Absolutely.
I'm going to have to start writing "Wake-up", "Eat crappy food", "Drink Beer", "Go to bed" in my planner, making me the most boring girl on earth.

I'm really excited about my Level III class with Billy Merritt. There's a bunch of people who I liked from my last two classes, one of my faves from one of my make-up classes, and someone who I was talking to a while ago about doing a comic book. It's a very energetic group and I'm really excited about this one.

 

[gktkd]

I'm Back

Listening to Air America right now, which is the best thing since the Darkness.
I want to invade the building with my resume and beg to made Randi Rhodes' personal assistant. I used to listen to her in Florida when I was stoned, sweating, and waiting for the campus bus. And to now have her back in my daily life, makes me feel 19 years old again. Nostalgia trip- I lived for two years in the this wonderous pink house, shaded by gigantic pine trees. We didn't have to smoke inside because we had a screened porch and since it was Florida, it was never too cold to stand outside. Mid-winter would only warrant a ajacket and some fingerless gloves. We had a dishwasher, washer, dryer, our own rooms with thick wooden doors, central heating and air, a pass through from the kitchen to the dining room, and a total rent of 800 for a three bedroom.

Le sigh.

Still unemployed. Been playing phone tag with the "DNC" (sounds like another SCG-like situation) about a field manager position here in New York. So it sounds like I could be going back into politics. Which I am very divided about. The Pro- being in a management position means I don't have to do IDs (I will never phone bank again) and would be a lot of what I liked about my last job and less of what I didn't like. The Con- the hours. It starts with 10 hour shifts and will soon morph into 12-15 hour shifts. Which means less time for the friends and the madre and no time for the improv. Though I can probably finish out my current class and I don't have the money to take another class right now anyway without getting a new job.

Went and saw Cagematch for the first time. Dragged Joy, who abhors all comedy shows. She laughed her way through the entire Swarm set. I was mad grateful for that because since this takes up so much of my brain waves, I needed her to get back on my side on this. Not that she discourages me in this pursuit, but I think she would rather have the poetic-magazine driven Kris back as opposed to the comedic Kristina. The thing that she liked the best about the Swarm show was the smart moves (in improv speak- the playing at the top of their intelligence). The living in a whale scene was incredible. I would go into more detail but I can't. I'm not even going to pretend I can. Though it's awesome that Billy is totally open to discussing the ups and downs of his sets. But I was too busy enjoying what I was watching to make mental notes.

My weeks are always dead and then my weekends are crammed full. Amy's got a home boy in town from Germany who she really wants me to meet but we haven't been able to connect up all week. He leaves Saturday so that leaves a lot of pressure to see him tonight but he has a business dinner till 10ish and there's a party in LIC that I want to hit, but early because I have a filming thing tomorrow morning at nine am on the UES. Hmmmm...should call Mom for lunch for the break between filming and class. Then class from 3-6. Then Sunday I told Amy I would go see her friend's art exhibit in Williamsburg but now I might have a job interview. Luckily practice group was cancelled for Sunday, at least I think it was. It's also cancelled for Easter. And then one free Sunday and then Madre's Birthday Broadway Show Sunday and then Sheepshead Bay Sunday with Madre. And then it gets warm and Girls' Sunday Basketball will probably start back up. And oh crap Mother's Day.

 

[gktkd]

Feeling Loopy: Feeling Loopy: Feeling Loopy

So I feel like a jackanappes because I overmedicated myself for feeling shitty and then couldn't pull my addled brain together in time to get ready and on the subway to a new practice group I wanted to try out.

I'm starting to feel a little more lucid. Sent out a mass mail about my upcoming class/bar shows. Had 55 people on the list so I should get at least 5 to ten people at each, which isn't a bad pull for a class show.

Been IMing with my old high school pal, Zac (the mastermind behind medicinefilms.com). He's totally on my ass about making something for his site for a long time. I haven't been involved in anything film related since our failed Move-on ad, which if I could ever get it from Damian, it would be perfect. But I can't do tonight I'm doing the intro film. Hopefully, it will become addictive. Joy and I are talking about working on another film for the site as well. The only rule is that the films can't be like a classic hollywood fiction narrative. Fiction narratives are Joy's and my specialty so breaking our habits will be interesting.

The improv is going well (oh yeah, this is my improv journal). I am really enjoying my level III class. My classmates are really supportive (eyeballs remain in the upright position) and talented. We're trying to put a performance group together. I think we're ready. Our first class show is coming up (a week from today) so that will be the ultimate test, but we have a show at the Boudoir Bar that Friday following, so we're definitely going in feet first.

:up:

 

[gktkd]

Saw three shows in a row at the UCBT last night, which I don't think was necessarily a good idea because the shows blend together after 4.5 hours of it. From what I can pull out of the cobwebs- loved, loved, loved Monkey Dick's opening, laughed my ass off when the Trillion kid lost his chair and the repair was awesome, Ian Roberts calling out "This is a set-up for a joke, you can't do that" and it becoming a repeating theme made me smile.

I feel like I should go into more detail since this is the my one improv-related outlet outside of class. I'm lucky enough to be able to drag (which is sometimes the case) my loved ones to shows, but there's no one doing it with me. I'm on friendly terms with just about everyone that I've had classes with, but I have yet to cross the improv-only boundary with any of them. I don't know why this is important to me. Let's use Joy as an example- I dragged her to cagematch (in exchange for wingmaning for her at The Edge later that night) but we couldn't really talk to her about it after the fact. We were in the same Creative Writing program in college and we went to readings, hosted our own, and had stoned early morning conversations about the impact of properly grouped words. Not that I'm not as literary as I used to be, but I'm not as literary as I used to be.

I don't know why I am going through a period of deep longing for the way things used to be(not the last two years- those years could disappear into the mist and I could care less). My mother is freaking out because I said I didn't want to go back to grad school. My grandfather had the same reaction. It used to be about law school, but they've gotten over that one but consider grad school the compromise. I try to explain that a M.F.A in Writing or a M.A. in Public Policy won't make me any happier. I tried several times to run screaming from the campaign. I haven't written a drop of fiction/poetry since I left school, which leaves me a mediocre and immature portfolio, full of Matt's (my muse of a romantic trainwreck) actions and influences. I used to joke that we were a sexually dysfunctional Percy and Mary Shelley- and I guess it was true because I can't seem to form a free-formed sentence without his presence or pain in my life.

I ought to focus more on where I'm going than the life I've seemed to have left behind. But it's so low-key and rather boring. Often times it has been said that my monologues are my biggest strength in improv, which would make sense because I talk all the time and while I may have never told the story on stage to a mixed group of loved ones and strangers, my friends have heard them a million times. But I haven't had a good story since I somehow ended up in the middle of my favorite famous folk at the They Might Be Giants documentary release party. And even that one I would heisitate to tell at a show simply because there's no narrative build-up. It's simply oooooDavidCrossoooooFrankBlackbummedmeacigaretteoooooItoldMDoughtyIwroteapaperincollegeaboutslankyoooooootoldJohnFlansburgthatIhadacrushonhimwhenIwas12. One of those funny if you know me but not funny bone funny.

I got a mad case of the blahs and the blahs do not equal the funny.

 

[gktkd]

The longest entry ever

I wrote a great pre-show entry, saved it to my hard drive because the web was totally screwed up, and now I can't find it. This is what happens when you share a computer with a loved one.

Had the Level III first show yesterday and quite frankly, I was pretty good in the first Harold and outstanding in the second. Now before someone gets up in my grill (face it, we're theater people, we are all about other people's grills)-
I did much better than I usually do. In the first Harold, my scene partner was all about the questions. I didn't get frustrated, I just tried to steer him out of it as quickly as I realized. I thought we had the game (a lame game, which was totally my fault) but I quickly realized we were on different pages and decided to just chill with the conversational groove we were in. The point is quickly. Though I still got the "You think too much" note afterwards, which I do in general.

The second part of the show, I jumped off the back line at the same time as my girl, Kristy, who was in my Level I back in the day. We have done very few scenes together, which is kind of odd considering we had been doing improv together longer than any other combo of my classmates. It used to be that the scenes in our Level I used to EITHER have Kristy, Greg (who, quite frankly, can be any scene he wants. This kid's sheer level talent makes me want to sit down so that I just enjoy the joy he exudes), or myself. So here we stand, Kick-ass Kristina and Kristy with a K, and the pieces just fell onto the stage. We had relationship, we had game, we were funny. The second beat, it kept going. Third beat, we had one line and black out. AWESOME!

I'm watching the Top 100 Stand-ups instead of going to Harold Night. Actually, I'm not going to Harold Night because I was planning on driving and the fog was too soupy. So I am providing the essential service of the list so far, so if there's any discussion later, you can use this entry as reference for debates or who helped design the mold for my brand of funny (I originally started out wanting to do stand-up):
100) Gallagher*- I know, but if you're in my age box, you watched his shows over and over again on late-night-still-showing-mainly-videos-VH1 (along with Rosie O'Donnell Stand-up Spotlight and you thought she was funny too).
99) Janeane Garofalo***- I was 13, I opened my Seventeen magazine and there she was with her red lipstick, hip brown-yet-floral dress, and the word "think" tattooed to her arm. In the article, she rallied against skinny actresses despire saying she was tight with Winona ("Women who say they go to the gym for themselves are not on my team"- I'm totally paraphrasing but it's still the quote I've pulled out more than anything else) and lemming hipsters. I ripped out that article and it hung on my wall for years. I sought out her stand-up and decided that's what I wanted from my life. I was coming out of a bar last year and she was walking her dog past the door. I then preceded to have a anxiety attack, not because of her celebrity, but because I had nothing to say. I started UCB 2 weeks later.
98) Louis C.K.
97) Sandra Bernhard
96) Joey Bishop
95) Andrew Dice Clay
94) David Alan Grier
93) George Wallace
92) Louis Anderson*- Non-pathetic I'm fat jokes. In reality, Mo'Nique is better but I guess doing the Parkers is bigger points against you than Family Feud. By the way, this would be the area where she would go on my list, but she's not here. I will try not to go overly PC on your ass. But Jim Breur instead?
91) Jim Breur
90) Dana Carvey
89) Kevin James
88) Paula Poundstone
87) Brett Butler
86) Jay Mohr
85) David Cross*- His impression of a crack baby
84) Drew Carey*- Read the short stories in the back of dirty jokes and beer and you'll forgive him for the bastardization of whose line
83) Norm MacDonald*- My favorite Weekend Update...ever.
82) Howie Mandal
81) Dick Gregory
80) Bobby Slayton
79) Tom Irrera
78) Cedric the Entertainer
77) Paul Reiser*- One of the first comics I ever got into, even through "mad about you", "couplehood", and even "babyhood".
76) Robert Schimmel
75) Eddie Izzard*- "But do you have a flag?" He did a secert show on Thursday and I had to go a friend's birthday and I literally cried cause I already had unbreakable plans.
74) Paul Rodriguez*- Cause I used to watch his shows with my Dad
73) Elaine Boosler
72) Bernie Mac
71) Red Buttons
70) Wanda Sykes*- THANK GOD FOR WANDA SYKES! She's the kind of woman who has honed the art of simulataneous scaring and enticing the men of the bar.
69) Pat Cooper*- Because he's makes it ok to be angry for no reason. And I am often angry for no reason.
68) Dave Attell*- Cause we have the same priorities and none of them involve church, going to work, or romance.
67) Kevin Pollack
66) Shelly Berman
65) Sinbad
64) Richard Belzer*- The Johnny Cash of comedy and now he's on Law and Order SVU. Awesome!
63) Jackie Mason
62) Eddie Griffin- WHY WHY WHY 100/99) sure, but for the love of mutha farking god...
61) Bobcat Goldwaith


Discuss, discuss, just count me in.

 

[gktkd]

I'm feeling very Bradshaw today...go ahead, run screaming. Last night, I had a dream where I was reliving all the bad moments from all the bad relationships I've had since I was 18. One was morphing into the other into this steady stream of heartbreak and humiliation. I won't go into the details, except to say speed walking away from Mr. NYU Film (worst date ever and the reason I can never go back to Veselka) while he did his walking tour through St. Mark's cheap cds behind me made it to the cut. That story always inspires some yuks from the crowd and a "thank god, I found a good man" from me.

But reliving all that drama and painful excitement inspires a lot of what if thoughts. Some people in this world need the sweet agony discussions over pizza and beer or pizza and dr. pepper or dr.pepper with jack in it (try it, you'll love it). Times when you smoke too many cigarettes as you bang out an angry sonnet with all the lines you were never clever enough to think of on the spot. When every hour is justifiably cocktail hour.

Due to my addiction to this sort of mood music or inherent difficulty with monogamy, I still manage to have a happy relationship with the assistance of two fanciful crushs and flirtatious relationships with two usedtodatehims (who I never actually see and therefore cannot be truly tempted- plus one is married and one lives on Staten Island, both states of being as further insurance).

I find this metaphysical infidelity to be one of the secrets of keeping a relationship going. No single person can or should be expected to be fulfilled by one person and one person alone. I like to go out a lot and my mate likes to stay in. Solution- single girl friends or girl friends who will go out without their mate and be fabulous. Note- need a few more of those. My mate doesn't like sports. Solution- cute, burly guy friends who you can meet in unsexy enviornments and drink in Coors Light and basketball. Note- desperately need more of those. There is nothign wrong with niche friends; in fact, I think they are crucial for rounding yourself out.

No niche is more important than a steady gay boyfriend, which I have been devoid of ever since Orlando (the town, not the boy). The Will and Grace stereotype holds through time and genre. But it's not for free style advice, it's for drama free fabulousness. Todd and I used to drink cheap beer (the days of 20 dollar drunken bar tabs) and size up the studs passing the outside porch of the BBQ bar, cuddled and cried during the Laramie Project, drive around and scream Rainer Maria lyrics. All gay boyfriend appro activites.

I'm taking applications.

 

[gktkd]

Aurgh...need a job...need to do more Harolds (current count- 11)

Simply to fight the personal ennui. Going to a new practice group today with people I have never met nor played with. A friend of mine is town from Florida and wants to hang out, I've been avoiding that call. I don't feel like much like doing the fabulous yet broke in Manhatten thing. There's a hint of guilt around my edges, but definitely not at the same time. Doesn't a girl have the right to rot in her own juices?

Saw Kill Bill II. Definitely like it better than the first one. Though the first one did inspire me to go to the gym (granted the second one did as well), because I want to be able to kick ass like that. Or at all. Or fit into my old suit again. Gym opens in half an hour and I'm still in my robe. Hmmmm.

Perhaps I should try and write about something outside of myself. The reason I started this journal was to cultivate my "voice" and "eye". What I wasn't planning on is that whether it's my narcissim or writer's block, writing about other things has become terribly difficult for me. I've been trying to write reviews, critiques, features and I get nothing. In fact, my only somewhat productive outlet is this journal.

Had a good weekend. Friday night, I went out with Mr. Smith, The Scharf, Holly (from out of town), Janelle and her friend, Josh. It's always fun to go bar hopping in a big posse. Stayed primarily in Williamsburg. I haven't been hanging out there lately (been staying in the city primarily as of late). I have even curbed my addiction to Sea's Drunk Man's Noodles. I'm a super homebody when it comes to my going out. I usually have a round of 5 bars that I go to all the time. When I get sick of one, I bring in a new one to take its place. Right now my list includes Dusk (for UCB related socializing- I'm not a big fan of McManus), 2x4, KGB, Red and Black, and Revival (though I haven't been there in a long time). It's not that I won't/don't go to new places, it's just these places are what pops into my head when people ask me "Where do you want to go?" I should try some new places.

 

[gktkd]

I got to class and had it made

Went to class on Saturday in one of my super murder moods. The whole class was rhythm and music. Musical openings, Diamond dance circles, scene
--->song, then one big solid musical Harold (12). For the scene---> song, I delayed my participation because all I could do was sulk and sing "tom courtney" in my head (irrelated to the musical improv going on around me). Cheryl and I doing the scene together- "Double Latin Improv Power" (which I thought was bizarre for some reason). I, of course, couldn't get "Nothing" from Chorus Line out of my head for the rest of class.

Was eventually able to throw off the funk, not completely but at least somewhat. I did go to B&N and buy the Chorus Line CD and *Improvise* by Mick Napier. I totally couldn't afford it but I figured that would cheer me up. No dice.

Helped a blind homeless woman get on the 4 uptown after she got in a fight with her boyfriend who screamed "find your way home now, bitch".

Saw Avenue Q with the madre who spent a good deal of lunch lecturing me about not having her help me with my cover letters into it, which (not suprisingly) made me want to claw out both our eyes.

There's only up from here, right?

 

[gktkd]

Outstanding

Which has been the word of the weekend. Pam came to town. Pam is the buddha. I think that's the best description of her. When we were freshmen in college, I would wake up on a Saturday afternoon to the sound of Bjork streaming from Landis Green below my window. After wiping the LSD-weed crud from my eyes, I could see her on a blanket with her bass tube, reading and taking notes in the margins. As the afternoon continued, the whole posse would flock with Sub City and more pot in hand. When the night came down, we would remain (occassionally having to pick up our gear and run over to another patch of grass to outwit the sprinklers) and dance in the grass, before splitting into seperate debauched activity caravans.

Geo and I picked her up in Jersey, drove to the E.Village (where the parking karma earned us a non-metered spot on E. 10 and 2nd Ave) and enjoyed walking around the street fair. Joy was two hours late (surprise, surprise). Went to brunch at Virage (fancy french for non-fancy french prices- a satndby when people come in from out of town). A beautiful time had by all though I should have gotten more sun on my face (we don't go pasty, we go green).

After we dropped Pam off with her parents (who had come into the city to do the Battery Park thing), we went to Spike Hill in Brooklyn, which is one of my new favorite bar. There are lists of whiskeys and an outstanding happy hours (3 dollar Old Specked Hens!!!!!!!!!). Joy called every she knows. She's so addicted to her cell phone that she'll be mid-conversation with you and then just start dialing. She knows she is, so that's the first step on the road to cell phone recovery.

I have never understood cell phone addiction. If the whole point of having a cell phone is to bring yourself in closer contact with others, why do people feel the need to yak on the phone while hanging out with someone in the flesh. I almost never carry my phone or check my messages and people get seriously annoyed with me:
- "What's the point of having a cell phone if you're never going to answer it?"
- "Just because I chose a cell phone over a land line because it made more sense, doesn't mean I signed a release to be available to everyone at all times."

Spent the night at Joy's. Geo was too tired and went home and of course the G was not running completely and neither was the F (especialliy where they connected). Drank cans of Coors Light and watched Lucia y el Sexo (which is one of my favorite movies).

More to come about Joy's crazy roommate and her aftermath of having cybersex with the IT guy.

 

[gktkd]

Did an hour of work on the project I am working on for my mother. The project is too easy to really earn me much money. I'm writing word lists for the web supplement of a book series she's been working on and hopefully she'll keep me on to write some of the exercises because god knows I need the money. A little extra resume padding won't hurt either.

I need a donut

 

[gktkd]

Hey Mama

There's a long back story to the Girly Improv Project, which I will spare you the back and forth. It's starting to come together. Right now we have six (but one of us doesn't know if she'll be able to fully commit) and have started the coach/director dialogue. Do we stick with ones we know? Should we try someone new? I hope this doesn't become all talk and no action.

Had a job interview yesterday. The best one I have ever had. Not because I did well, which I didn't cause I was actually nervous. But I sat on a tie-dyed velvet couch and was wearing a dress over pants [my hands down favorite look right now]. Rocking! Now I'm trying to put together some thoughts on the radio show they want me to work on.

Damn you, Pay Pal, why won't you let others take my fake plastic money?

Harold count: 16

Had our second show for Level III on Monday. It didn't go as well as the first. That seemed to be everyone's feeling. The energy just didn't flow right. We were shooting for a twenty minute Harold for our first set and we had a black out on the sencond group game at 22 minutes. I had Geo tape the action and I've been kind of afraid of watching it. My notes were minimal to non-existant, which I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Went to see the Mosaic with Amy on Friday which was delectably fabulous, particularly the other woman sitting shiva thread. Went to Dusk, grabbed Cheryl and jammed at Liquid Courage.

This week is Geo's birthday. I was thinking of getting everyone together for Lazer tag but it's in Times Square, which neither of us can stand. So now i'm thinking about paintball.

 

[gktkd]

Kristina of the Pink Converse

Today is my mate's birthday and I guess he decided that since it's his birthday, he'll punk out if he wants to.

First there was the ill-fated Lazer Tag plan. Then it was happy hour at Spike Hill. Then he announces (at 4pm when we're meeting people at 6pm) he doesn't want to go because there were two people invited by a friend of ours who are not part of the normal circle (one he likes and one I don't like...at all). I try to reason with him and finally talk him into going pretty much against his will. I used the female Jedi trick of calling the point person in front of him and discussing how he's being a jackass and how much time people had spent in preparation of his blessed day. :inlove:

I got a haircut this morning here in Bensonhurst. Wash and Cut 20 dollars with tip! And I look fabulous. I look even better because this wonderous discovery means no more super expensive, pretensious salons and tramatic forced chit-chat. My father was a hairstylist so up until his death two years ago, I never had to pay for a haircut (I did once my sophmore year in high school in order to have it simultaneously dyed jet black -ethnic crisis- and I regretted it for the 6 months it took for the bleak tint and farah fawcett waves to grow out). Right after he died, I was shaggier than a sheep dog after running through a sprinkler of Rogaine and went to the frou frou salon in Sarasota. I walked in with my magazine cut out of Kirsten Dunst, slapped in on the table with shaking hands and tears in my eyes, only to find my stylist was almost completely deaf in both ears. But he had a big smile, wrote on his pad "you got it" and preceded to get to work. No small talk, no recognition of my last name (everyone knew my father in that town), just this giggly tiny man having the time of his life on my mess of a head. When he was done (the best haircut of my life- sorry, Dad), the owner of the salon came over and was so shocked by the transformation, he took my picture for the newbie's portfolio. That was the last time it was easy before today. Though to be fair, I'm a pain in ass (but a superior tipper). I am psychotically against hairdryers or styling products. I have been known to cry and look over the haircut with a pained sigh, not because it's bad but because it still bothers me (this is what happens when you don't take the time to appropriately mourn, it comes out in bizarre forms and situations). The last time I went to get my haircut, I actually warned the stylist ahead of time (Sarah (blonde) at the Bee Hive. If you have the dough or have fine hair I strongly recommend her) and we had minimal tears. This time, being with Geo helped as well as the stylist's extreme expediency. I think I was in the chair for a total of 8 minutes.

Wanted to go see Cagematch last night, but I still haven't replaced the tire on my car. I hate being stranded and now I know what it feels like without my baby girl. I took the train in to class last Saturday and it even felt silly to be on the train for an hour only to get back on it 3 hours later. Which is also the reason I haven't been to Harold Night. Which is also why I will not be making a repeat appearance at the Improv Jam (unless I get drunk enough at happy hour that I go into the city regardless of Geo's birthday or not). Plus when you don't have specific plans with anyone (no obligation to meet or be met with), it's so much easier to blow them off. What I need is a surrogate improv boyfriend (or girlfriend- I can be UCBisexual) who won't punk out or be punked out, especially on those late shows. Or I should just go when I get the mass "any one going to Harold Night?" emails.

To go along with the entertaining loneliness/death of family member themes, I leave you with one amusing discovery. A friend of mine is signing up for online dating on Nerve.com. While waiting for my old profile to become active again for her to view (I swear, baby, I swear), I went through my old messages from my "how many online dates can a girl go on in 3 monthes?" (The result of which being my current man) and I know one of the guys from a random meeting through the improv scene a full year later. I don't know why but I find the incestous improv internet "scene" amusing. Add the friendster factor and my giggle pitch rises.

Now on to 3 dollar pints of Old Speckled Hen.

 

[gktkd]

Fancy French Food

Harold Count: 17
Shows seen this week: Zero (including my own)

Yesterday was the last day of Level III. Since we already had our last show, we didn't just run through Harolds. First we did an organic opening just to shake it out. Not a big fan of that opening. I like it as an exercise but it didn't get it done for our show, at least among my peeps who were not previously acquanted with the form. Maybe because I haven't seen a lot of Harolds (I know, I know), let alone an organic done well. I still haven't watched the tape from the show.

We did 10 group games back to back, exploring the suggestion of tulips. We had a crappy game show with a really slow pace and rules that I made up in my head and I know didn't come out making any sense. We built a machine for the army that produces an extremely powerful explosive. There was a slide show of the affect of gamma rays on growing tulips. Tulip growing competition. A noir scene where the scene was completely dressed before Cheryl and I went out to be the actors and included a swimming pool full of man juices with a male corpse floating in it face down with a snorkel.

We did a small bit of the Documentary form, which I love and have been wanting to do for quite some time. We did on-camera interviews into scenes. Which was just enough of a taste for me to want to do more, though I know I should just stick with one form for now in order to build up some kind of proficiency.

We kicked out a balls to the wall Harold for our closing statement. I got to do my beat with Billy Ryan, who is one of the most inherently funny human beings I have ever encountered, and we did three outstandingly strong beats (and if they weren't as hot as I thought they were, they were crazy bad-ass fun) I got to mime putting together a double El roll, a delicious guilty pleasure for an ex-professional-quality-burnout.

Couldn't go out for an after-class drink because I was meeting the Madre and the Auntie at Virage on the Lower E. Virage is one of my favorites so I definitely loaded my belly up. Came home and watched Jimmy Fallon's last episode of SNL and was surprised that the Olsen twins weren't painful to watch. The Lewis Black "Black on Broadway" was outstanding. It wasn't the exact routine from The Rules of Enragement CD (though it could have been and I would still be laughing). The format was the same except he didn't use the phrase "Gayocity" or talk about the Irish's concept of health (and of course a few others, but that's my personal funny focus). It was nice to see things worked out, punch lines improved when he could have just cut out the Minnesota references and got on with his day.

 

[gktkd]

Harold Count: 19
Shows seen: 1

Been a busier week of nothingness, desperation and pursuits of intellectual vigor. Had a job interview at Janelle's law firm which meant I had to buy a new suit since all my sitting around and gym avoidance has pushed me out yet another size. My credit card was declined and so I had to use my debit card, using the money I was going to use to have my card unfrozen. Awesome.

Spent some of the remaining cash reserve on a great practice group session with some of my favorite people to play with. We got lots of quality side coaching (Kevin Hines- highly recommended!) which was definitely needed.
A lot of emphasis on word economy-which I know I need in my daily life- using less words but putting more value into them...and we played Super-Heroes. Extra Bonus.

Another fish is dying. The last one who died had his guts raided. We have had a over twenty die since Geo started the tank. When we first got the tank, Geo overstocked the tank. One of the fish brought in the Ick fungus and it quickly took out everyone but the runty shark and Creepy Fish (a prehistoric looking Pleco- all plecos look that way but it was the first one I had ever seen). As the shark got bigger, he would do this great dance after eating. He would almost floating upright and doing a little shimmy. And then he died too and it actually broke my heart a little bit. Then Creepy fish started struggling. We seperated him from the pack and medicated the hell out of him. But he quickly kicked as well. The flushing even made me teary.

Oh the drama

 

[gktkd]

oooh shiny

Never made it out of the house on Friday. Watched hours upon hours of "sex and the city" and painted my nails for the first time in over 2.5 years. They are shiny and rather distracting. I also shaved my legs for the first time in over a year and now I'm cold all the time. When I have nothing to do and the computer has left me cold, I become girly. Now if I can just get around to some laundry then I can leave the house and not have to resort to track pants. Ewwww!

I registered for a bumload of temp agencies online to prepare for the calls for desperation on Monday. The project I'm doing for the madre has been expanded to include writing the actual exercises, not just the vocab list. So maybe I can pay some bills and keep going to practice group.

The tank of death has had no casualities today. The water is really murky despite today's water change. One of the tetras has mouthrot growing in his mouth, giving him a massive underbite. Geo pulled him out and tried to brush some of it off but it didn't budge. He's had it for over a week. The last one we had with the obvious jaw was with us for quite sometime. I always get attached to the sickly ones.

 

[gktkd]

Make it stop

All week, one of the buildings next to us has been converting their trash aisle into a driveway. Thanks for getting rid of another parking spot, jackasses! The jackhammering starts at about 8 am and goes on till about 2pm when the guys finally break for lunch. Normally wouldn't be that big a deal but when you're unemployed, staying up too late, and hiding from Citicard in your bedroom it kinda hurts your schedule.

I've been somewhat productive this week. Registered with temp agencies on Tuesday. Had a job interview at a production house. Bought some bronzer.

Now you may be asking yourself: what's so important about the purchase of bronzer? It's a very important moment in a Latina's life when she buys her first bronzer. She can throw away her chakey white girl powder (or in my case save it for winter) and brush on a color like Sunlight as opposed to medium beige. You may also being asking yourself: why did it take you so long to realize something so basic about your daily female ritual? Because I have only been wearing make-up for 6 months and because my mother and the vast majority of my friends are lily-white. So I was in Duane Reade and I decided to test out the new shade on my hand and it disappeared into my skin. I brought it home and I look flush and healthy!

Sounds silly, but this is a big moment in the superficialalities of womenhood.