AIM Conversations

[Katy]

even MORE stories!

this away message is becoming more and more popular. my young friend kat (even though shes older than me...) writes:

kat: ok so this one time i was eating a pice of chicken and my cat wanted to eat it too but i was on the computer and eating and trying to keep my cat from eating my chicken all at the same time and then somehow my cat got the chicken frome me and ran away and i chased after him and was all like nooooo come back here but he didnt and then i thought if i get the chicken back a i really going to eat it? and then i was sad because i didnt have any chicken

 

[Katy]

this is what you get for asking

kATy BirD ALoha: salute!
corey: SANCHO!!!
kATy BirD ALoha: ca va?
corey: actually SANCHO wouldnt make sense
corey: That means I'm doing your married couple
corey: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: uh...right
corey: it does though
corey: its a spanish term
corey: slang for "god bless you"
corey: but it means, Im sleeping with your loved one
corey: I dunno why
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
corey: its wierd
corey: how are you?
kATy BirD ALoha: im good
kATy BirD ALoha: we had a show that kicked a lot of ass
kATy BirD ALoha: how about yourself?
corey: My underwear is tight, Im a little drunk, and Im happy with life!
corey: WOO!
corey: hehe
kATy BirD ALoha: thanks for sharing
kATy BirD ALoha: i really wanted ot know
corey: that im drunk? I know...most do want to know that
corey:
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
corey: and you DID ask
corey: so I thought Id share
corey: KATY!!!
corey: HAPPY BELTAED EVEN THOUGH I REMEMBERED!!!
kATy BirD ALoha: haha thank you very much!
corey: I RULE!!!!
corey: NO! Thank U!!!
corey signed off at 8:30:41 PM.

i had this conversation a long time ago. a couple days after my birthday. i thought it was infinitely hilarious. but i kept forgetting to ask corey if i could post it. i finally did and here it is!

 

[Katy]

yet another story

corey: Once upon a time there was a boy named Jacob. Jacob was a very kind hearted boy who worked in his father's coal mine. Jacob was probably the best coal miner his father had ever seen, and promoted him to riding the elephants that carried the coal from deep within the depths of the caves. One eventful day, Jacob's elephant had some kind of fit and ran deep into the subterranean parts of the cave, with Jacob on top of him. When the elephant finally stopped, Jacob quickly climbed down from the elephants back and began scolding the elephant. The elephant paid no attention to Jacob, as he scanned the room. His eyes glared at one spot really hard and backed up. Jacob kept yelling at the elephant, but the elephant paid no attention to anything but the blank cave wall as he kept backing up. Before Jacob could finish his sentence the elephant darted head first into and through the wall. When the dust cleared Jacob walked through the hole, to quickly find a collar around his neck and the elephant standing on both his legs. I am Phillip boy, and from now on you will work in my mine. Jacob looked back and saw the hole close behind him. As tears began to fill his eyes he saw hundreds of other elephants stomping around, each with a human leashed to them doing their bidding. Curse you Phillip. Jacob said in a scornful tone. April fools! All the elephants said at the same time, as they all picked up their front leg and squashed all the humans.

 

[Katy]

another story

i love any story that involves the "cool" kids being stupid.

chelsea: my cousin who just graduated and is quite popular..."cool" one might say
chelsea: he went camping with some of his "cool" friends
chelsea: and he went potty in the woods
chelsea: he wiped his ass with an unassuming leaf
chelsea: which turned out to be poison ivy
chelsea: which is now all over his ass and balls
chelsea: he thought it was jock itch
chelsea: so
chelsea: he was in so much pain that he was crawling up his stairs at home naked crying


THE END

 

[Katy]

fathers day

well, yeah this is a little late. but its never too late for teenage pregnancy humour.

kATy BirD ALoha: happy fathers day!
tim: thanks...
kATy BirD ALoha: did your kids call?
kATy BirD ALoha: ;o)
tim: ...
tim: no
tim: those bastards


i heart stimmy!

 

[Katy]

another story

this is a tale of carly, my trusted friend, BREAKING THE LAW!

carly: My mom was ticked off at my dad so she got out of the car and planned on walking home but she's got a bad back now I called her to tell her I got home and she took advantage of it and had me get in her car and illegally drive over to pick her up I was SO scared not of the driving...of getting caught and having points put on my non existant license so, I drove by myself illegally.


im so dissappointed in you carly.

 

[Katy]

random facts

this is really a conversation, i just started sending josh all these weird random facts. why? i dont know.

kATy BirD ALoha: The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
josh: lOL
josh: OMG
kATy BirD ALoha: How valuable is the penny you found laying on the ground? If it takes just a second to pick it up, a person could make $36.00 per hour just picking up pennies.
kATy BirD ALoha: Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles (299,274 km) per second and sound waves saunter at 700 miles (1,126 km) per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles (20,917 km) away than it can be heard at the back of the room in which it originated. \
kATy BirD ALoha: There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo.
kATy BirD ALoha: The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.
kATy BirD ALoha: Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
kATy BirD ALoha: According to Scientific American magazine: if you live in the northern hemisphere, odds are that every time you fill your lungs with air at least one molecule of that air once passed thru Socrates lungs.
kATy BirD ALoha: Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.
kATy BirD ALoha: The 3rd year of marriage is called the leather anniversary.
kATy BirD ALoha: The average human will shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime.
kATy BirD ALoha: Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
josh: thats weird
kATy BirD ALoha: The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before.
kATy BirD ALoha: The first ever indoor organized presentation hockey game was a 2-1 Creighton's team victory in Montreal on March 3, 1875, in Victoria Skating Rink.
kATy BirD ALoha: Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the middle ages: heart represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class.
kATy BirD ALoha: The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
kATy BirD ALoha: In 1969 the Navy spent $375,000 on an "aerodynamic analysis of the self-suspended flare." The study's conclusion was that the Frisbee was not feasible as military hardware.
kATy BirD ALoha: In the Catholic church, St. Gabriel, an archangel, is the patron saint of telecommunications.

 

[Katy]

a story by me

well, i decided that since i was asking everyone else to write stories for me, i better write one too. i started writing and i really didnt stop to think about the story or plot at all until i finished, so basically its like an improvised monolog or something like that. (josh asked me to write this, telling me to involve 'fluffy bunnies) so here it is, a katy jack original:

katy: once upon a time there was a little boy name pogo. his mom named him pogo because his dad was a pogo-stick salesman who worked very hard until he died in a terrible pogo-sticking accident. pogo never knew his father, but his mother had told him he was a good man who worked hard and pogo believed her. there was no reason not to. one day, pogo was walking in the woods when he saw a ghost! he was sure it was his father. he wanted to talk to the ghost, but it kept running away. finally it stopped in the middle of a clearing and then disappeared. pogo was very sad. but, then he saw, in the very spot the ghost had been in, a fluffy tawny-colored bunny rabbit with a little fluffy white tail. he thought that the ghost had turned itself into this beautiful fluffy bunny. so, he picked it up and took it home to his mother. pogos mother listened while pogo told her that he was sure he saw his father's ghost and how it had turned into this bunny. pogo told his mom about how the ghost kept running away and eventually it disappeared, and his mother believed her sons tale. she too, had seen a ghost in those woods. pogo loved his rabbit. he would feed it, and pet it, and play with it. and he would talk to it about his problems and the rabbit didnt answer, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. pogo cared for his rabbit for two long years, until it finally died. pogo was very sad. he took the bunny out to the woods, to the very clearing where he had found it two years ago, and buried it. he walked home in a very glum state of mind, thinking about how much he would miss his bunny rabbit. one day, pogos mother died suddenly. so he went to live at his aunts house in the country. he rode a train to her town, and then walked the rest of the way. when he got to the main road, he saw the ghost again! this time it wasnt running away. he finally caught up to it and said 'father!' but the ghost did not reply. it just smiled. then, it dissolved again. but this time, it didnt become a beautiful fluffy bunny. it became a fierce, strong jackrabbit. he chased the rabbit and chased it until finally he caught it. when he did, the rabbit was not as fierce. he took it home, and cared for it and talked to it. but, two years later, the rabbit died. so he took it out to the main road where he found it, and buried it. well now pogo was older and he decided that there were too many memories here. his mother was dead, and so were his two pet rabbits. so he decided to move out on his own, to the big city. he lived in the big city for two years. one day, he got word that his aunt had died. so, he went out to the country for her funeral, and to settle her affairs. he was very sad and didnt know what to think. his aunt had been the only family he had, and now, she was gone. so, he decided to take a walk. he walked across the main road, and looked at the spot where he had buried his fierce jackrabbit. and he walked to the cemetary, where his mother and aunt were buried. and he walked to the woods, to the clearing where he had found his first rabbit. and there, in the middle of the clearing....was the ghost! but pogo was not happy to see the ghost. he was angry at it. he was sure that the ghost was the one who caused everything to die! he wanted the ghost to tell him why he had killed everything pogo loved. 'WHY?' pogo asked 'WHY DID YOU KILL ALL THOSE THINGS THAT I LOVE?' the ghost said nothing, he just smiled. this made pogo even more angry! so he said 'i am going to sit here and wait until you answer me!'. so pogo sat down, and waited. and the ghost just looked at him, and smiled. and pogo did wait for two years, and finally the ghost said 'because we've all been waiting for you to join us'. and pogo was in such shock, he died right there. on the very spot where he had found his first fluffy bunny.

 

[Katy]

yet another story, this time by young mr clayton

well, whaddya know? clayton wrote me a story, although its more than six hundred words.


clayton: There was this guy named Ed who had major problems with his left leg. It seemed that everytime he moved his leg, he would sneeze. Sneezing caused Ed great anxiety, so one day he decided that he would eliminate the problem by going to the doctor. However, to get outside, he would have to walk. And, if he walked, he would start sneezing because he would move his left leg. So, Ed decided that instead of walking, he would hop on his right leg over to the elevator in his apartment building and take it down to the ground floor. Everything was going smoothly until Ed got to the elevator, hopping on just his right leg and trying his best to keep his balance. It turned out that the elevator was broken that day! With no other choice, Ed hopped his way towards the staircase and made his way down. On the way he heard voices of people coming up the stairs. Oh no! It was Becky and her best friend! Now, at the time, Ed had a HUGE crush on Becky, but was too shy to tell her about his leg condition. However, he did not have enough time to make it back up the stairs by hopping. He would have to tell her the truth. But, just then, he thought that he could just look like he was tying his shoe. Yes! that's it! He piveted his body around so that he had his already raised left foot on the railing and proceeded to mess with the knot in his shoe laces, all the while trying to remain calm. Becky walked by with her friend, Julia, and saw Ed standing there tying his shoe laces. "Hello, Ed!" she called, waving her hand to him as they walked past. Ed was so surprised she remembered his name, that he turned to wave at her, not realizing that this would cause his left foot to lose its traction on the hand railing and slide down a bit. Immediately the spasm occured, and Ed sneezed so hard that his balance was thrown off and he tumbled down the stairs at an unimaginable speed, all the while Becky and Julia stood screaming in horror. To make it worse, as he tumbled, his left leg kept moving and he kept sneezing all the way down from the fifth floor. Well, needless to say, he was a little wounded and embarassed when he hit the bottom. An ambulence came, for Becky had dialed 911 on her cell, and two men with a stretcher ran over to where he lay, with Becky and Julia coming down the stairs as quickly as they could manage without falling. Becky knelt beside Ed and whispered, "Ed...are you all right?" To which Ed replied, "Becky...i'm sorry, but...do you think that you could...maybe...come visit me...in the hospital?" Becky smiled at him, her smile warming his heart, "Of course, Ed" she said. Ed smiled back, and just then a paramedic grabbed him under the shoulders, while another paramedic grabbed his ankles and both lifted him off the ground to set him on the stretcher. However, when they lifted him, the unknowing paramedic holding his ankles moved Ed's left leg, and sure enough, he sneezed right in the face of the paramedic holding his shoulders, who was so surprised he dropped Ed's head roughly back onto the ground. Ed looked at Becky in horror...now she would think him of even MORE of a freak than before. But Becky just smiled at him and said, "Don't worry, Ed...i knew all along. I have the same problem everytime i try to have sex!" To this, Ed could not help but smile before sneezing again.
THE END

 

[Katy]

peepee in the potty

is peeing really all that disgusting? i mean, everyone does it. why is it supposed to be a secret when you do?

josh: ...hi?
kATy BirD ALoha: hey sorry
kATy BirD ALoha: i was peeing
josh: oh
josh: ewwie
josh: visual
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: whats so wrong with peeing?
josh: uhm...
josh: I dunno
josh: I just don't really wanna picture urin exiting your body
josh: Sorry
kATy BirD ALoha: you do it too!
josh: yeah...but I don't wanna see other people do it too!!
josh: Except Tim
josh: I've seen him pee
kATy BirD ALoha: ive seen most of my friends pee
josh: And it didn't bother me for some reason
josh: Ewwie!
kATy BirD ALoha: what? i have!
josh: I've only seen Tim and Myslef (obviously)
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
josh: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: ive neevr seen me pee
josh: It'sd be funny if I hadnt seen myself pee
josh: (I always close my eyes)
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: i see my friends pee when they are over at my hosue
kATy BirD ALoha: and i am in the shower
josh: EWW!!
kATy BirD ALoha: they come in and pee, and im in the shower
josh: Why?
kATy BirD ALoha: it isnt disgusting
josh: Why cant they just wait?!!
kATy BirD ALoha: because they have to pee
josh: Thats what I'd doi
kATy BirD ALoha: when you gotta go
kATy BirD ALoha: you gotta go
kATy BirD ALoha: they wait if they have to take a crap tho
josh: But it can wait five-ten minutes!!
josh: Ok...well thats good
kATy BirD ALoha: well i take 30 minute showers
josh: I'm glad about that
kATy BirD ALoha: some1 tried to come in and take a crap
josh: OMG
josh: EWW!!!
kATy BirD ALoha: and i was like hell mutha fuckin no
josh: Thats so gross!!!
josh: Ewwwwwww
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah it is
josh: Yuckiness
kATy BirD ALoha: i was like, this one time i had a friend who took a cra
kATy BirD ALoha: p
kATy BirD ALoha: and clogged the toilet
kATy BirD ALoha: and then turned the shower on
kATy BirD ALoha: and it smelled so bad!
josh: EWWW
josh: OMG
kATy BirD ALoha: haha...references to tyler davis
josh: You have NO idea!!!
josh: It was so gross!!
josh: I wanted to die
kATy BirD ALoha: what a dumb butt!
kATy BirD ALoha: hey lets turn the shower on!
josh: eww
josh: I hate that boy sometimes
josh: no...wait
josh: ALL the time...sorry
josh: muahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: no megusta tyler davis!

 

[Katy]

carly and katies peepee pops

i was not involved in this conversation at all, but it was so funny, i had to put it in here. i am not the katie involved in this conversation, but oh how i wish i was. (note: THEIR IDEA IS COPYRIGHTED NO STEALING)

Katie: i still want a peepee
Katie: and i keep getting orange popsicles!! whats up with that?!
Carly: lol
Carly: I give up on the peepee
Katie: theres 2 different kinds and i get orange!
Carly: my peepee search is pooped out
Carly: LoL!
Katie: i haven't really searched
Carly: I hate grape popsicles
Katie: i LOVE them
Carly: first we eat the red
Carly: then we eat the orange
Carly: and grap is always left over
Carly: I hate grape
Katie: give them to me
Carly: okay
Katie: and a peepee
Carly: next time I eat a popsicle and I get a grape one
Carly: I'm going to walk it to your house
Katie: lol
Katie: please do
Carly: and say, "here is your new, peepee shaped grapesicle
Katie: LOL!!!!!!
Carly: it can serve two purposes!
Katie: YAY!!!!
Carly: one: to appear to look like a pee pee
Carly: two:
Carly: to be eaten as a popsicle
Carly: OMG!
Katie: ewww!
Katie: i'd be eating a peepee
Carly: We should form a busines and sell peepee pops at spencer gifts!
Carly: it would be a HOOT!
Katie: hehehe...i could bit its head off
Carly: It would be akll the rage!
Carly: No, seriously!
Katie: we should!
Katie: it would be wonderful
Carly: people would buy them!
Katie: Carly and Katie's Peepee Pops
Carly: we can make them flesh colored...
Carly: those could be peach
Carly: and we can have cherry
Carly: strawberry
Carly: banana
Katie: 5 dallah!
Carly: grape
Carly: mint
Carly: peepee flavored pepee
Carly: no, just kiddnign....
Carly: it would never sell
Carly: but the other flavors might
Carly: YES!
Katie: and they could come with a free condom
Katie: it would be wonderful
Katie: where could we sell them?
Katie: at school...during lunch!
Carly: for two boxes of twelve. Seriously, we should REALLY do this
Carly: YES!
Carly: OMG!
Katie: yes we should!
Carly: Flavored condoms!
Carly: we could sell them at school!
Carly: the drama kids would all buy one
Carly: band kids too
Katie: they would buy more than one
Carly: choir girls are uptight but that's just cuz they're all virgins...
Katie: lol i know
Carly: we can make marketing strategies
Carly: they'd buy two!
Carly: one for each end!
Katie: LOL
Carly: no, just kidding!
Carly: hehe...
Carly: couldn'thelp it
Carly: didn't make sense...
Carly: but couldn't help it
Katie: lol
Katie: well...i actually thought i understood it...but oh well
Carly: we'll make a jingle
Carly: and we can have a catch phrase
Carly: and commercial ideas
Carly: and we could give ten percent of all profits to some
organization...like AIDS! So they don't come off Katie: "You'll go peepee for Peepee Pops!"
Katie: lol
Carly: and our condom can send out a good message to kids
Carly: safe sex is best!
Carly: LOL!
Carly: it's like cocoa puffs
Katie: i know
Katie: omg...now if we could only do this
Carly: or4....
Carly: we could come up with something original
Carly: sorme clever word twister.
Carly: I know!
Carly: It would be SUCH a great entrepreneurial thing!
Carly: And we could go on rosie!
Carly: lol...
Carly: put the fact that it's shaped like a penis might be a downfall
Katie: LOL
Carly: even though there's some good in it
Carly: if we could make like...assorted shapes
Carly: one cherry ice cream aids ribbon
Katie: NO!!!...whats the point of calling them peepee pops if they aren'shaped like a penis?
Carly: penises...vagina pops...that would be hard to swallow.
Carly: lol
Carly: plus, you can't really make a vagina
Carly: lol
Katie: lol
Katie: 2 labia and a hole
Carly: exactly
Carly: we could throw in the aids ribbon though
Katie: yes
Carly: we'd probably get evil mail saying, "what do you think guys are the only ones who can get it?"
Carly: and we'll say, "no, we know girls are more likely to get it"
Katie: lol
Carly: we could put in some sort of AIDS mini packet with it
Katie: lol
Carly: with information telling about it!
Carly: oooh!
Carly: And there's a new muppet who has HIV!
Carly: We could do a commercial with her in it!
Carly: We could talk about our pops and she can go along with it!
Katie: yes!
Carly: and then all the children of the world will want to have a peepee of their own!
Katie: and it would all be thanks to us!
Carly: maybe it is sort of only a spencer's kind of thing! lol...
Carly: this would be such a great idea
Katie: oh well
Carly: we need a plastic peepee mold
Katie: if we got more people we could prolly do it
Carly: and flavoring
Katie: lol
Carly: I know!
Carly: freaking out parents! yay katie and carly!
Katie: where would we find a plastic peepee mold?
Carly: this is such a good idea
Carly: lol
Carly: we'd have to be resourceful and make one
Carly: melt down a hard enough plastic
Katie: i know!...we could take a bunch of dildos...hollow them out and fill them with the ice and stuff
Carly: but first we have to make the mold with metal
Carly: we could ask someone who works with metal...silversmith...aluminumsmith...
Carly: whatever
Carly: YES!
Carly: how would we get dildos....?
Carly: OH!
Katie: spencer gifts...mall...parents...teachers...someone has to have a dildo
Carly: you know what?
Carly: I think I saw a plastic dildo that looked EXACTLY like a penis once!
Carly: I don't know where.
Katie: well its helpfull when a dildo looks like a penis
Carly: it was probably on those late night television ads for people to go visit their websites
Carly: we could get one of those and cut it in half!
Carly: but we could fold it inside out or soemthing so that it could get the whole veiny look
Carly: and voila!
Katie: yay!!
Carly: a peepee mold!
Carly: As soon as it cools
Carly: or we could just ask someone to design one
Carly: OOOH!
Katie: ryan ccould...hes an artist!
Carly: FUDGE-SICLE for the black lovers out there! "Once you go black you can never go back!'

 

[Katy]

singing in the shower and smiley faces

this was just a random, fun conversation. i saved it for some reason, i dont know why. thought id put it in here.

kATy BirD ALoha: hey
josh: hi
josh: what is up0yo?
josh: homey G?
kATy BirD ALoha: not much homeskillet
josh: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: u?
josh: nothing
josh: So hugnry
josh: My moms such a bitch
josh: She won't even like EVER buy me food
josh: I've lost like 20 pounds....
josh: GRR
josh: Well....
josh: Complete boredom
josh: I want nachos....
josh: MMMM
josh: I had a show tonight
josh: And George talked to lal the teenagers
josh: Ok...or you could me fais semblant de ne pas reconnaitre
kATy BirD ALoha: uh...i said brb didnt i?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from josh: I'm getting Nummy-nums...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

josh: i didnt think so
kATy BirD ALoha: oh
kATy BirD ALoha: well, uh...brb
kATy BirD ALoha: back
josh: lol
josh: good job
kATy BirD ALoha: what did george talk about?
josh: ..."the drama"
kATy BirD ALoha: of what?
josh: About what Erin was going through, How chrisitna was never on time, How Tim and I are doing, How Kelsey can sing so well, but shes so annoying, How Nicos going off to college and really busy...
kATy BirD ALoha: oic
josh: LIAR!!!
kATy BirD ALoha: back up biatch!
kATy BirD ALoha: i might just have to kick your ass
josh: ...
josh: I was singing Vittoria Vittoria backstage
josh: but my mic was on
josh: so everyone in the park heard me
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: i sing that song in the shower all the time
josh: really?
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
kATy BirD ALoha: badly
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
josh: I sing the shower song in the shower
kATy BirD ALoha: the shower song?
josh: yeah
kATy BirD ALoha: ????
josh: I am in the shower and I'm writing a song
kATy BirD ALoha: oh
josh: Stop me ifyou've heard it
kATy BirD ALoha: i remember
kATy BirD ALoha: STOP
josh: My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
kATy BirD ALoha: OK
josh: and tegren spelled backwards is nerget
josh: FINE!!!
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: i sing a lot of 80s music too
josh: (Rips off clothes and runs away screaming incoherently)
kATy BirD ALoha: its gettin hot in herre...
kATy BirD ALoha: so take off all your cltohes...
kATy BirD ALoha: i am gettin too hot
kATy BirD ALoha: i wanna take my clothes
kATy BirD ALoha: off
josh: lol
josh: I w3anna take me clothes...
josh: ....
kATy BirD ALoha: i love that song
josh: ......
kATy BirD ALoha: SHUT UP!
josh: (looks around)
josh: off
kATy BirD ALoha: DONT MAKE FUN OF MY DISABILITY!
josh: Hey!!
josh: Thats mine
kATy BirD ALoha: i have more disabilities than you!
kATy BirD ALoha:
kATy BirD ALoha: DAMNIT!
kATy BirD ALoha:
kATy BirD ALoha: see?
kATy BirD ALoha: i cant even type a damn smiley face
josh: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: shutttt uppppp!
josh: thats why you click the happy face BUTTON that they've so conveniantly created for people of your likes
kATy BirD ALoha: i dont have a smiley face button
kATy BirD ALoha: :'(
josh: ..oh
josh: ou have msn
josh: that stinky poo
kATy BirD ALoha: :-(;-) =-O:-*> :-$:-!:-[O :-\:'-X:-D
kATy BirD ALoha: hehe
josh: yes you do!
kATy BirD ALoha: no i dont
kATy BirD ALoha: (msn wont talk to aol people)
kATy BirD ALoha: i push ctrl+number

 

[Katy]

mounties, crazy people, and a little retarded boy

kathy is.....well, she can be mean. we both take pleasure in laughing at things we shouldnt laugh at. like crazy people. there is a guy in portsmouth (where i used to live and where kathy lives now) who runs around downtown yelling 'NOBODY LIKES ME! I HAVE NO FRIENDS!' and its so funny.

kATy BirD ALoha: hey
kathy: hey
kathy: I'm tired
kATy BirD ALoha: im sorry
kathy: I slept at amanda dennis's house last night
kATy BirD ALoha: cool
kathy: we got bored so we tried to smoke tea
kATy BirD ALoha: hahahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: tsk tsk kath
kathy: it didn't work
kATy BirD ALoha: but you tried which is lamentable
kathy: big words
kathy: don't use big words
kathy: guess what
kathy: I may have to work in hell
kathy: at pic n pay
kathy: but it is a job
kATy BirD ALoha: hahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: mmm....andrew wonzart
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: brb.
kathy: he doesn't work there anymore
kathy: he works at tequila jacks and gives food to homeless people
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: oh well, at least you have a job
kATy BirD ALoha: more than i can say
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kathy: not yet I have to take a cashier test
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: you better brush up on your change-making skills
kathy: at least i might make some money
kathy: no I just got straight A+'s in algebra this year but can't make change
kATy BirD ALoha: hehe
kATy BirD ALoha:
kathy: it nature's way of telling you somethings wrong
kathy: it nature's way of telling you in a song
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kathy: and tomorrow I'm making money at a wedding
kathy: taking care of kids
kATy BirD ALoha: cool
kATy BirD ALoha: i would never ever want that job
kathy: I want to bring up my summer work and make them write my essay a factory line of worker
kathy: s
kATy BirD ALoha: hahahaha
kathy: I like little kids
kATy BirD ALoha: i hate htem
kathy: I think you would scare the kids
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: no i can deal with them
kATy BirD ALoha: id just rather not
kathy: thats good to know about yourself
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah it is
kATy BirD ALoha: but i think when i have kids of my own i will be more mature
kathy: I feel like bringing scrabble and beating their asses at it
kATy BirD ALoha: and be more able to deal
kATy BirD ALoha: hahahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: use words like 'sex' and 'cock' and 'pussy'
kathy: I was thinking today what if hello kitty was called hello pussy
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: thats the adult version
kathy: I can't wait til I can drive
kathy: legally
kATy BirD ALoha: hehe yeah
kATy BirD ALoha: february come quick!
kathy: october
kathy: see I want october to come because it is also my birthday
kathy: I clebrated my 16 and 3/4 birthday this month
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: happy birthday then ;-)
kathy: I wanted cake
kATy BirD ALoha: i get persents for my half b-day
kathy: yes your 16th and one month birthday is the same day as my dog's birthday
kathy: you should feel very fortunate
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: oh i do
kATy BirD ALoha: believe you me
kathy: murray is god
kATy BirD ALoha: hahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: noooo i wouldnt go that far
kathy: bow down too him peasant
kathy: have you eva read billy bud sailor
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: no
kathy: cause it sucks
kathy: it is only 80 pages long yet it seems like 200 pages
kATy BirD ALoha: oic
kathy: uyhyhuyhuyhuj rdertfry dytg my forehead was typing but I got it under control now
kATy BirD ALoha: HAHAHAHA
kATy BirD ALoha: :-\
kathy: it did spell fry out
kATy BirD ALoha: no it didnt
kATy BirD ALoha: oh just fry
kathy: I want them to make up more books for dummies like bwing an ethical person for dummies or the art of fry cookin for dummies
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: oh ive got one
kATy BirD ALoha: racial slurs for dummies
kathy: kama sutra for dummies
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kathy: jokes beginning with yo mama for dummies
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: im playing online scrabble
kATy BirD ALoha: and im losing :-(
kathy: where did you get the cd with uptown girl on it
kATy BirD ALoha: uhm...its not on a CD
kATy BirD ALoha: i downloaded it
kathy: too bad
kATy BirD ALoha: why?
kATy BirD ALoha: you can download it
kathy: no my computer will crash
kathy: it is a sped but we love it
kATy BirD ALoha: oic
kATy BirD ALoha: kinda like murray?
kathy: no kinda like you
kATy BirD ALoha: im not a sped!
kathy: oh shit I wasn't supposed to tell you
kATy BirD ALoha: :-(
kATy BirD ALoha: i am not a sped
kATy BirD ALoha: DONT MAKE FUN OF MY DISABILITY!
kathy: so you admit you do have a disability
kATy BirD ALoha: its not my fault im canadian!
kathy: you should become a mountie
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha no i dont think so
kathy: today I was in the park and there was this dance group of little kid and there was this little retarded boy it was so funny
kATy BirD ALoha: OH MY GOD!
kATy BirD ALoha: kathy thats horrible!
kathy: no he was having fun yet he didn't really do the dance
kATy BirD ALoha: you were laughing at a retarded boy
kathy: he wanted people to laugh at him
kathy: and I wasn't laughing out loud
kATy BirD ALoha: ooooh
kATy BirD ALoha: i see
kathy: the crazy people population has gone up in portsmouth
kATy BirD ALoha: oh really?
kathy: even though you left
kATy BirD ALoha: is the guy who goes around saying 'nobody likes me' still there?
kathy: one guy goes around shooting people with an imaginary gun
kATy BirD ALoha: hahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: thats so awesome!
kATy BirD ALoha: one day, im goign to come back to p-town
kATy BirD ALoha: and im going to be one of the crazy people
kathy: I want to go downtown and groom myself like a cat
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: that would be awesome
kathy: yeah I want to go sleep
kathy: umm yeah okay
kATy BirD ALoha: what?
kathy: I love the movie office space
kathy: that my stapler
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: i want to get a red stapler
kathy: like in office space
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
kathy: well bye
kathy: I'm going to have to ask you to come in saturday at about nine
kathy: umm yeah okay
kATy BirD ALoha: haha ooook
kATy BirD ALoha: bye
kathy: bye
kathy signed off at 5:15:07 PM.

 

[Katy]

more than i EVER wanted to know about tims testicles...

tim and i are good friends....but i dont need to know about his testicles and what his ass smells like. come on now...

josh: Can I tell you something?
josh: It was so gross
josh: (heres where you say: Yeah, Sure)
kATy BirD ALoha: ....
kATy BirD ALoha: can i tell you something?
kATy BirD ALoha: IT WAS TOTALLY DISGUSTING!
josh: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: that makes it sound like its somethign i dont want to know
josh: Oh...I mean...
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
josh: Well...I didn't think it ws that disgusting, but you might
josh: see?
kATy BirD ALoha: well....tell me
kATy BirD ALoha: and ill smack you if necessary
josh: K
josh: Well...
kATy BirD ALoha: oh good you agree
josh: at the park, tim and I change like, in the same general area
josh: and so
josh: I turned to my left at one point to look at Monica to say something...
josh: What do I see?
kATy BirD ALoha: tims penis
josh: Tim's huge ass and testicles dangling in front of my face
kATy BirD ALoha: with a hand on it
josh: I was like: "Whooaa!!! geez...Gimme some room..I don't wanna see that..."
kATy BirD ALoha: WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING WITH NO UNDERWEAR ON?
josh: No, he had underwear on
josh: But boxer briefs...so you could see the outline...yeah, his ass smelss GROTTY

 

[Katy]

its not the end, is it?

this is from one of my best friends, khaki. i enjoyed this story thoroughly. i hope it will continue for a long long time. like, the rest of my life! )

khaki: Once there was this girl named Katy Jack. Katy was a tall, pretty young lady of 16 years of age. She and her family were from Canada and Katy was a very smart girl for a Canadian. She moved to Raleigh from Portsmith, New Hampshire and met a girl named Khaki. When Khaki met her she was like 'wow.. she's tall.' Then the first day of school, she saw Katy in her Biology class. Khaki was like 'It's that funny girl Ashley introduced me to!' Katy and Khaki soon became good friends. Khaki loves her friend Katy. i would put the end, but that is not the end of our story

 

[Katy]

there are a million reasons i love kathy...

and this is only one of them (this conversation also mentions my first foray into longform....which kicked major ass by the way!)

kATy BirD ALoha: hey girl
kathy: hello
kATy BirD ALoha: whats up?
kathy: not much just finished reading billy budd sailor
kATy BirD ALoha: cool
kATy BirD ALoha: glad to be done?
kathy: oh yeah
kATy BirD ALoha:
kathy: the book sucks and the only good thing about it is that billy budd gets hanged in the end
kATy BirD ALoha: you are a horrible horrible person
kathy: you read that 80 page hell hole and see if your not happy he dies
kATy BirD ALoha: hahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: i will
kathy: guess what they finally found out who set the gym on fire last year
kATy BirD ALoha: who was it?


---censored---


kATy BirD ALoha: hahahahaha
kATy BirD ALoha: thats awesome
kathy: my mother is leaving tomorrow for vail
kATy BirD ALoha: cool
kathy: but what's up with you
kATy BirD ALoha: not much
kATy BirD ALoha: im starting a longform workshop tomorrow
kATy BirD ALoha: TOTALLY psyched
kathy: thats good
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah!
kATy BirD ALoha: i just saw the instructor perform in a show
kATy BirD ALoha: SOOOO funny
kathy: thats good
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
kATy BirD ALoha: im gonna piss myself
kathy: yeha but for my ap us history book that I get to pick I'm reading the electric kool-aid acid test
kATy BirD ALoha: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
kATy BirD ALoha: thats so awesome
kathy: I also wanted to read helter skelter but it wasn't on the list
kATy BirD ALoha: you should read it anyway
kATy BirD ALoha: good book
kathy: yeah I been wanting to read it for so long but I don't have the time
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
kathy: I think it is a really interesting tpoic
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
kathy: and the the electric kool-ais acid test I get to make a project
kATy BirD ALoha: cool
kathy: and the book is all about the hippies and the different forms of acid tests so to say the least it will be an interesting porject
kathy: do you know what is on right now
kATy BirD ALoha: the tv?
kathy: time life music collection infomercials!!
kATy BirD ALoha: sweet!
kathy: yeah so I worked at that wedding babysitting and there were three of us and and we really only looked after less than six kids for five hours and we got fourty-five dollars cash and a 60 dollar gift certificate to old navy
kATy BirD ALoha: cool
kathy: and we got cake and wedding food
kathy: well I want to go lay down
kathy: because I'm too lazy to talk anymore
kathy: so goodnight
kATy BirD ALoha: ok bye
kATy BirD ALoha: sweet dreams
kathy: talk to you soon
kathy signed off at 12:46:50 AM.

 

[Katy]

josh's endless insight

josh seriously knows the meaning of life. this tidbit is short, but so meaningful.

josh: Pickles are good
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah

 

[Katy]

gay boys can be so funny!

my little gay friends can be so funny someitmes!

josh: Wanna cyber little girl?
kATy BirD ALoha: no!
josh: LOL
kATy BirD ALoha: what the fuck?!
josh: LOL
josh: hahahahahaha
josh: I was just kiddin
josh: hehehehe
josh: EWWIE
kATy BirD ALoha: oh my god
josh: Sorry
kATy BirD ALoha: never ever say that again!
kATy BirD ALoha: please!
kATy BirD ALoha: i thouhgt your dad got on the pooter or soemthing
josh: I just can't hold it in any longer Katy
josh: I love you
josh: I always have
kATy BirD ALoha: i know
josh: The whole Tim thing was a scam
kATy BirD ALoha: i know
josh: Fuck him..he's gross
josh: I want you...
josh: Your so hot
kATy BirD ALoha: i know
josh: I want to take off your pantsa
kATy BirD ALoha: why would you want to fuck him if hes gross?
josh: and lick your belly
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: oh really?
josh: slowly
josh: down to your...
josh: UGH!
josh: I cant do it!!!
josh: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
josh: I'm not very good
kATy BirD ALoha: that was the funniest thing i have ever heard!
josh: ...Sorry...I just couldn't...Your a girl!!!!
josh: lol
kATy BirD ALoha: down to your....
josh: LOL
kATy BirD ALoha: ew
josh: LMAO
josh: Sorry
kATy BirD ALoha: hey what are you diong!
kATy BirD ALoha: youre not a priest!
kATy BirD ALoha: let go of me!
josh: LOL

....no comment.

 

[Katy]

the *NEW* way to organize journals...

when i saw the 'improv journals' and the 'off-topic journals' i looked for mine in the 'off-topic' section. but alas, here it is. i dont see what it has to do with improv, but i aint gonna argue. as long as i can find it thats cool. ;o)

 

[Katy]

how much the world has changed

the world has changed a lot recently, i guess. anyway: a resulting conversation between myself and ben-

kATy BirD ALoha: hey you
ben: hey. how's the great north?
kATy BirD ALoha: im home now
kATy BirD ALoha: but it was good
ben: oh. i knew that. and i'm glad to hear you had the fun.
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah!
kATy BirD ALoha: i know you were dying cuz u missed me so much
ben: it's true
kATy BirD ALoha: teehee
kATy BirD ALoha: i am so glad to be home....
ben: i actually was about to fully lose my will to live before you said you were home
kATy BirD ALoha: you are the fifth person to tell me that!
ben: careful about the glad to be home thing...raleigh may grow on you
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
ben: just five?
ben: you must be slipping
kATy BirD ALoha: i know
kATy BirD ALoha: usually its at least 20 kajillion
ben: if not more
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
ben: like a bizillion
kATy BirD ALoha: is a bizillion more than a kajillion?
ben: i'm not really sure. i skipped that day of school.
kATy BirD ALoha: benjamin! skipping class is not good!
ben: glad you know that.
kATy BirD ALoha: im gonna skip a lot next year probably
kATy BirD ALoha: since i cant do it at all senior year
ben: i should write a book called "Things I did that I know Those Younger than me Should not"
ben: how can you not during sr year...that's the best time!
kATy BirD ALoha: if you have no unexcused absences you dont have to take exams
kATy BirD ALoha: i have three classes with khaki next year!
ben: wow. i would have eaten a lot less biscuitville if we had that rule when i was in school
kATy BirD ALoha: and two with caitlin! and lunch!
ben: but no classes with me
kATy BirD ALoha: me, caitlin, khaki, randi, and kristin all have paideia together
kATy BirD ALoha: its gonna kick so muhc ass
kATy BirD ALoha: ah alas
kATy BirD ALoha: that makes none of it worth it
ben: what the hell is a paideia?
kATy BirD ALoha: paideia is english and history combined
kATy BirD ALoha: sort of
kATy BirD ALoha: it takes up two class periods
kATy BirD ALoha: but its taught as the same class
kATy BirD ALoha: does that make sense?
ben: yes. i think so.
kATy BirD ALoha: you get to talk a lot
ben: if only i'd been given that job as the drama teacher
kATy BirD ALoha: and dont have to write as many papers
kATy BirD ALoha: SHE DIDNT EVEN F-CKING LEAVE!
kATy BirD ALoha: stupid whore!
ben: yipes
kATy BirD ALoha: i am NOT looking forward to another year with her
ben: tell someone important that i should teach the theater classes there. for twice the salary!
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
kATy BirD ALoha: wow....that means you get $5/hr!
ben: something like that
kATy BirD ALoha: it would be weird calling you mr moser
ben: yeah. i'd have to work something out to where you guys could call me grand high exhaulted one
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah right
kATy BirD ALoha: i couldnt have u as my teacher....
kATy BirD ALoha: i would give u no respect
kATy BirD ALoha: and the class would follow my lead....and you would have no power
ben: no one would anyway. i could see myself turning into that pathetic teacher that's always more concerned about being cool than teaching anything
kATy BirD ALoha: haha
ben: the funny thing being that those are the teachers i gave the least respect to
kATy BirD ALoha: i give all my teachers respect
kATy BirD ALoha: whether they are trying to be cool or not
ben: i gave very few of my teachers respect. some of them for the cool thing, and some because i genuinely thought i was smarter than they were
kATy BirD ALoha: because if you do that, you can get away with more stuff
kATy BirD ALoha: heh i KNOW im smarter than some of my teachers
ben: that's true...i did get caught an awful lot
kATy BirD ALoha: but i let them think otherwise
ben: but the principal loved me, so i would just get sent back and have to pretend i was disciplined
kATy BirD ALoha: my world civ teacher knew i skipped her class all the time
kATy BirD ALoha: but she liked me and i did well in her class so she would let it slide
ben: same with my sr year english teacher. she HAD to know i spent more time in biscuitville than in her classroom
kATy BirD ALoha: the best ppl to make friends with at school are the security guards
kATy BirD ALoha: b.c they let you off campus
kATy BirD ALoha: so, they would let me leave during lunchtime
ben: you get security guards? wow. the world has grown up since i was your age.
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah....
kATy BirD ALoha: we cant even have real mirrors in the bathroom
kATy BirD ALoha: cuz ppl would break them and use them in fights
ben: jeez!
kATy BirD ALoha: yeah
kATy BirD ALoha: so we have this piece of metal
kATy BirD ALoha: that you can sort of see your reflection in, but not really
ben: and people wonder why kids are growing up so poorly adjusted
kATy BirD ALoha: im not poorly adjusted
ben: you're an exeption to the rule, too
kATy BirD ALoha: yep
kATy BirD ALoha: im an exception to a lot of rules
ben signed off at 5:03:33 PM.

ben then proceeded to ditch me, signing on three hours later to tell me, he hadnt ditched me.