i got a call on thanksgiving from someone i'd met over a year ago at a film seminar. we had known each other a mere few days but connected on many levels and it was quite hard to let him go. he is a very much on-his-way avant garde filmmaker and only a couple things kept us apart.
the problems that arose were that:
one- he was from halfway around the world, whereas i reside in the us. and
two-he is significantly older than i am (i was actually on my last year at a university when we met)
i ended up moving on after months of really missing him and finding myself a really great fellow. we kept in email and some phone contact and seemed to being doing well just becoming friends, wanting to collaborate filmically and musically and whatnot.
then i get a call on thanksgiving.
i missed the call, having been distracted by the booming noise of family and food, so i called him back the next day. the conversation was nice and we talked of our plans to work together and of the growing success of his current project. then, since it was quite long-distance, we wrapped it up.
fifteen minutes later, he calls me back. he tells me about a book he is reading and how it fascinates him and then asks how i'm doing, hinting obviously at any current romantic situations. i tell him that i am indeed seeing someone, and that it's going well. he is quieter and we again hang up.
two minutes later, another call. this time it all comes out that he hasn't gotten interested in anyone since moving back home and still remembers the time we had at the seminar that past past summer. he's still qite interested in me and i feel awful telling him that i indeed felt the same way for a very long time.
the problem then, was, he was trying to keep an emotional distance given our age and geological distances. i could understand that, so eventually, i had to let him go for at least until i had more freedom to go as i pleased (i.e. graduated). as time went, i established new relationships (can't just pine forever while things change around you) but of course never forgot him.
so the third call of that night ended with him being i think quite sad about the situation, and me worried. i emailed him telling him that despite any romatic connections i had to anyone else, i still want to come out and work with him and collaborate as much as possbile...but i just don't know now how he'll respond.
i just desperately hope that things aren't hopeless in this friendship. if he really did feel the same things i did and still do, a little physical restraint shouldn't ruin this particular partnership.
i hope.
the problems that arose were that:
one- he was from halfway around the world, whereas i reside in the us. and
two-he is significantly older than i am (i was actually on my last year at a university when we met)
i ended up moving on after months of really missing him and finding myself a really great fellow. we kept in email and some phone contact and seemed to being doing well just becoming friends, wanting to collaborate filmically and musically and whatnot.
then i get a call on thanksgiving.
i missed the call, having been distracted by the booming noise of family and food, so i called him back the next day. the conversation was nice and we talked of our plans to work together and of the growing success of his current project. then, since it was quite long-distance, we wrapped it up.
fifteen minutes later, he calls me back. he tells me about a book he is reading and how it fascinates him and then asks how i'm doing, hinting obviously at any current romantic situations. i tell him that i am indeed seeing someone, and that it's going well. he is quieter and we again hang up.
two minutes later, another call. this time it all comes out that he hasn't gotten interested in anyone since moving back home and still remembers the time we had at the seminar that past past summer. he's still qite interested in me and i feel awful telling him that i indeed felt the same way for a very long time.
the problem then, was, he was trying to keep an emotional distance given our age and geological distances. i could understand that, so eventually, i had to let him go for at least until i had more freedom to go as i pleased (i.e. graduated). as time went, i established new relationships (can't just pine forever while things change around you) but of course never forgot him.
so the third call of that night ended with him being i think quite sad about the situation, and me worried. i emailed him telling him that despite any romatic connections i had to anyone else, i still want to come out and work with him and collaborate as much as possbile...but i just don't know now how he'll respond.
i just desperately hope that things aren't hopeless in this friendship. if he really did feel the same things i did and still do, a little physical restraint shouldn't ruin this particular partnership.
i hope.